I am trying sooo hard not to become "down"...

[Randi]

got one of those "isn't our life wonderful?" Christmas letters today. It is from a cousin once removed who lives in CA. Haven't heard from her in over 10 years. She is a yr older than me, (makes her 61), and if I believe everything, she is just having a terrific life. Her & her husband celebrated their 31st anniversary this year. Her son is finishing his PhD in Molecular Biology, married in 2000, no children. Her daughter is in college and on the side is training to be a skating judge. She had been a competitive skater for years. My cousin & her daughter took a trip to Switzerland and enclosed a 4pg letter of highlights on that too.
ICK. I on the other hand, lost my oldest son to cancer 10 yrs ago and my other son is now on oxygen 24/7 from heart failure. His prognosis is not good. Celebrated the 24th anniversary of my divorce this year, and can't even go to Disney again, which we would rather do than anywhere in the world, even Europe. The only other close relative I have is my dad who lives 200 miles away. I have been so good at not feeling sorry for myself, but taking each day as it comes. My kids were not expected to live past their teens due to the genetic condition they have, and we have had a good life with lots of memories & trips, but sheesh it is hard not to feel just a tad jealous of her.
sorry it was a long post.

 

[Alex]

But what she didn't say in the letter is that she caught DH cheating for the 4th time last week. DD is pregnant out of wed-lock and she is on every psych med known to man.
The reason her son doesn't have any children is because he sleeps on the couch, he found out he is really gay!

Who the heck tells the bad things in those letters?

 

[JetMom]

I bet she doesn't have 55,000 close friends who care ho she is feeling! Hang in there Sweetie!

 

[Boston Tea Party]

Those letters SUCK. They are all propaganda written by spin doctors. I get one every year from my SIL. She REALLY should have someone proofread it before she sends it. I take out my little red grading pen and mark red ALL OVER IT and top it with a big fat F. Then I take an ornament hook, skewer the sucker and hang it on the tree!

{{{HUGS}}} to you.

 

[Boston Tea Party]

And if I would have gotten it today, I would have added -10 LATE on it!

 

[DocRafiki]

Originally posted by Alex
But what she didn't say in the letter is that she caught DH cheating for the 4th time last week. DD is pregnant out of wed-lock and she is on every psych med known to man.
The reason her son doesn't have any children is because he sleeps on the couch, he found out he is really gay!

Who the heck tells the bad things in those letters?

HA! That is so true! (not that being gay is a BAD thing)


Randi -- do us and yourself a big favor. Type up your own "brag" letter, as if you were trying to make your cousin jealous. Tell the truth, even if you have to stretch it a little, and definitely leave out the bad stuff. (Include the 24 years of independence -- that is something to be proud of!) I bet with a little creative writing, you can make your own life look like a picnic. And it might help you to realize the things you do have going for you.

 

[Tinkbell]

((HUGS)) Trust me, you're only hearing about the good things. Nobody has a picture perfect life.

 

[TigerBear]

Originally posted by Boston Tea Party
And if I would have gotten it today, I would have added -10 LATE on it!

ROTFLMAO!!

((Hugs)) Randi. Life really is not fair, but I'm with the others in that she probably has a lot she wouldn't want to share with you. Don't let her bring you down - she is not worth it.

 

[Micca]

Well Randi at the end of the day she LIVES IN CALIFORNIA

 

[doxdogy]

(((HUGS))) to you. Sorry to hear about your sons. I will be praying for you and your family. Send her a letter and tell her that you don't get to go to Switzerland, but that you do have 55,000 friends that care about you and are here to support you and cry with you in bad times. Just the same as we laugh with you in the good times.

 

[Boo'sMom]

Originally posted by Micca
Well Randi at the end of the day she LIVES IN CALIFORNIA

I thought the SAME thing

 

[wdw4us]

If I were to write a letter like that, I"m sure a lot of peopel would think the same thing. Actually, a lot of people already do. They think we have the BEST life in the world.

We do have a nice life. BUT no one wants to hear the bad stuff so I shut my mouth. Every now and then I'll let a little something slip with a family member and they just look at me as if I have 2 heads. I answer that expresssion with a yes, it's true, you don't need to know the bad stuff but don't think my life is a bed of roses. None of us has that. Let them think what they want, but we don't live in THEIR house so we have no idea what it's REALLY like.

I always thought my BIL had the perfect marriage, then he left his wife. Talk about jaw dropping and he left her for a real loser, go figure.

I'm sorry about your loss but thankful that you gave them such wonderful care that they lived much longer than anticipated.

Take care of yourself, it's all you can do. Maybe your cousin needs to remind herself how lucky she is on paper, no one else is able to tell her. Sounds like her family are too busy for her.

Yours is not.

Take care,

denise

 

[Buckleybunch]

Randi,
I would do what DocRafiki said to do.. Wrote your own brag letter. I would expand on how lucky you were to have more years that you ever excepted to have with your two sons, and how great it was to be able to raise them yourself, because you have all those memories that will live on with you forever.

Being single and rasing kids for the last 24 yrs wasn't easy I'm sure. I can't image it- so that is something to be really proud of.

It's that nasty time of the year whe depression sets in. I know, I could let myself get there. I'm trying to look at the positive side of my life and having 4 wonderful children..

You have a huge base of friends on the DIS..

Linda

 

[SeaSpray]

Hi Randi!

*HUGS!!!* Remember me? We met while we were both staying at the Grand Floridian in May of 2001. My DH recognised your DS as being someone he knew from "home" here in MA, and when we chatted, we both realized we were DISers!!

I'm so sorry to hear that your DS's condition has deteriorated to the point of him needing to be on oxygen 24/7 Nothing can really take that pain away of seeing him like that

But you know, you have been a wonderful mother all these years, and that alone is something to be very proud of!! You know, I agree with what Alex said: It's the things those letters DON'T say, that make you wonder Not everyone's life is as wonderful as they usually try to make it seem. And it's kind of surprising that you heard from her now, since it's been over 10 years. That kind of indicates her need to have to write a letter like that, she probably wants to convince herself of what a wonderful life she has. But you know what, even if her life is totally perfect (which I know it isn't), you had a life of doing special things for your DSs, the best you could. I know you've taken some trips to WDW, I know how much joy that brought to you and your DS.

I wish I had more words and better words for you. Just know that there are people out here who are concerned about your family, and you Hey, email me if you'd like to get away for lunch, or coffee, ok??

 

[DisneyObsessed]

Nobody likes a bragger. Hugs to you!

 

[PamOKW]

Try to just put that stupid letter out of your mind. I've had the same reaction to similar letters when things are not going so well it's hard to read how "wonderful" things are elsewhere. Keep in mind what others have said -- there is probably a lot that was not in that letter. I have a family member that sends out how wonderful everything is but I know what's missing -- the alcoholic sister, the deaths in the family, the problem children, etc. We've all got good and bad. You've already counted some of the blessings you've had along with the really terrible things. Keep those blessings in mind and know that there will be more of them in the future.

 

[Otto's Doll]

Yeah, but she doesn't have 55,000 friends to vent with, who will agree that she is entirely right, and send her hugs and pixie dust! So there (to her)!

 

[Dan Murphy]

What great thoughts here, Randi, from many of your DIS friends!!! I really liked Doc's thoughts there and what an offer from SeaSpray!!! I'd grab that in a heartbeat. I do think you have a lot to toot about also. A big {hug} Randi.

Dan

 

[Kitty 34]

{{{{{HUGS}}}} to you, Randi. I get a letter every Christmas like that from an old girlfriend. This year I took my back pain med before reading it..... didn't hurt as bad!!!

 

[MAGICinMYHEART]

Randi,

Better make that 58,825 DIS friends you can count on.