I am so DIStraught!!!

[pixiepurls]

We are going to Disney World in August. So fun, after seeing Malificent my daughter and I decided it is INSANE how there are no dolls or costumes for girls to dress up like the YOUNG Mal. You can get a kid costume that is all black and purple or even the same as Angelina Jolie but what 7yo wants to do that? She wants to look like the sweet brown fairie thats what!

So we hatched a plan to make our own halloween costume. Shouldn't be super hard to sew the tunic.. the horns are another matter. I found an amazing girl on etsy to make them costume to look more like the young Mal and for a smaller sized head. They came in the mail yesterday. This morning my daughter woke up and I looked at her and something looked odd. Suddenly I realized she had taken a scissor and cut her hair to create banks which results in a 1" whip of hair on her top of her head. I AM DEVASTATED because I adore her hair and she has glasses so now hang an empty forehead just makes everything look worse. If she didn't have the glasses and you could see her amazingly sweet face better it wouldn't be as bad but glass plus dorky banks = moms first nightmare right before school starts and school pictures and everything!

Then of course I realized now at halloween she won't look like Malificent anymore. She has very long blonde hair very fine not super thick but very long and pretty. We discussed putting temporary brown dye in it she would have looked so similar to the girl from the movie.

I'm mostly upset about the hair period but now I can't get amazing pics of her in the costume. I even had a crazy thought that we should take the horns to Disney World and wear them one night because it would be so fun.

Here are the horns, I am so depressed. I know it will still be "neat" but how much she would have looked like her would have made it so perfect. I am so sad!

I was teased pretty bad in elementary school she's going into 2nd grade and is a wonderful child who has no care in the world about what anyone else thinks of her which is such a wonderful personality to have while still being sweet and wonderful and accepting diversity with ease and curiosity. I celebrate that but she's also woefully unaware of how as she gets older kids will tease or or exclude her if her hair is a horrible mess (she pulls out anything I put in it so I stopped bothering but atleast it always looked pretty because it was so long) and she never wears a matching outfit and I just worry for her! She's also not so good with hygiene and stuff and I have tried so hard to do things to help her be more aware of herself while not taking away any of her great natural traits.

 

[MacDalt]

Someone going into second grade should know better than to cut her own hair! Maybe you need to sit her down and talk to her about what's going on!

The costume sounds amazing! I haven't seen the movie yet. Gotta wait for DVD.

 

[pixiepurls]

Someone going into second grade should know better than to cut her own hair! Maybe you need to sit her down and talk to her about what's going on!

The costume sounds amazing! I haven't seen the movie yet. Gotta wait for DVD.

I've not had to punish her sense she was a TODDLER, she is just about the most well behaved child on the planet. She wanted bangs she said. We did of course talk about it and she actually went on a scissor rampage so she doesn't have electronics this week, I've never had to take them from her before beyond "oh your fussy you've been on the computer too much go outside" srsly she's so well behaved and sweet. She got an award at school for kindness and when a little boy came into her class who had cancer they put him next to her at her table because they knew she wouldn't tease or ignore him because of his hair and tubes and when he would sometimes have a potty accident. Needles to say they sat her with him for the rest of the year. This is SO out of character for her.

 

[Altoqueenkelly]

My daughter is the same age and I would kill her if she did this! Omg, momma, I'm so sorry!!!

 

[pixiepurls]

My daughter is the same age and I would kill her if she did this! Omg, momma, I'm so sorry!!!

It's ironic because I've thought for about a year my 4yo would eventually do it because my young ones is mischievous. She was not even home when this happened!I actually asked my 7yo (well she's 7 in a little over a month) did Rowan do this to you? and she was like NO atleast she was honest!

So technically she's 6 but CLOSE ENOUGH!!! She should know better!!!! it was the first time in her life I let her upstairs with a scissor but she's going into second grade she's used a scissor a zillion times and loads of times unsupervised downstairs (kid safe ones) something about being in her room I guess.

 

[MacDalt]

I've not had to punish her sense she was a TODDLER, she is just about the most well behaved child on the planet. She wanted bangs she said. We did of course talk about it and she actually went on a scissor rampage so she doesn't have electronics this week, I've never had to take them from her before beyond "oh your fussy you've been on the computer too much go outside" srsly she's so well behaved and sweet. She got an award at school for kindness and when a little boy came into her class who had cancer they put him next to her at her table because they knew she wouldn't tease or ignore him because of his hair and tubes and when he would sometimes have a potty accident. Needles to say they sat her with him for the rest of the year. This is SO out of character for her.

Maybe she's upset about something? Feeling pressured? Anxious? Worried? Or maybe she just really wanted bangs? Lol. I hope you both have a great trip!

 

[Altoqueenkelly]

I don't think it's a distress signal, nor do I think it's abnormal for this age. They are just learning about self expression and maybe she really wanted to change up her look. I could see my DD trying something like this..... It's the reason we confiscated the nail polish.... Ha ha ha.

Good news is that it's only hair and it will grow back. You can always take her to a salon and see if they can't do damage control.

 

[ErinsMommy]

My first grader cut a chunk of her hair on the side while in class - told the teacher she wanted it shorter. Mind you I had just taken her for a haircut the week prior so I was mortified. Turns out she felt i was "controlling" how short/long she can have her hair and took matters into her own hands, literally. So I let her choose her own hairstyle -- maybe it's a similar issue with DD? Either way I feel your pain

 

[poeticdiabetic]

I have no girls. Maybe I'm the wrong person to talk, but can you take her to a stylist to see what they can do? And can she just wear what you have and try to have as much fun as possible with it?

As I've said- I don't know. Going to Disney shouldn't be this stressful.

 

[Aggiegrl]

I have no girls. Maybe I'm the wrong person to talk, but can you take her to a stylist to see what they can do? And can she just wear what you have and try to have as much fun as possible with it? As I've said- I don't know. Going to Disney shouldn't be this stressful.

If it is REALLY bad, a stylist might be able to glue in extensions. I wouldn't normally say this for a young child, but sometimes you have to do what you have to do.

 

[AmyB2006]

I'm mostly upset about the hair period but now I can't get amazing pics of her in the costume.

I am so depressed. I know it will still be "neat" but how much she would have looked like her would have made it so perfect. I am so sad!

... she's going into 2nd grade and is a wonderful child who has no care in the world about what anyone else thinks of her which is such a wonderful personality to have while still being sweet and wonderful and accepting diversity with ease and curiosity.

I understand you're upset, but I think you're too focused on what she'll look like in this costume. Be happy that she doesn't care what others think and hope that she keeps that part of her personality. My daughter is so concerned with what others think and I have to try every day to get her to be her "own person". She is 7 as well.

So she cut her bangs, it will grow back out. Maybe a salon can help blend it in.

But that part of her personality you love will slowly disappear if she sees that mom is so upset and making a bigger deal out of her looks than her peers do.

 

[Aliceacc]

Don't give a costume the power to make you "distraught."

It's only a costume, it's only hair. The hair will grow back. Who knows, maybe when they're done right she'll look fabulous in bangs.

In the meantime, it's summer, so her appearance isn't a big deal.

What she did was totally normal-- every kid in the world has cut his/her own hair. But I would speak to her about having scissors so close to her eyes without adult supervision.

I was teased pretty bad in elementary school she's going into 2nd grade and is a wonderful child who has no care in the world about what anyone else thinks of her which is such a wonderful personality to have while still being sweet and wonderful and accepting diversity with ease and curiosity. I celebrate that but she's also woefully unaware of how as she gets older kids will tease or or exclude her if her hair is a horrible mess (she pulls out anything I put in it so I stopped bothering but atleast it always looked pretty because it was so long) and she never wears a matching outfit and I just worry for her! She's also not so good with hygiene and stuff and I have tried so hard to do things to help her be more aware of herself while not taking away any of her great natural traits.

I've not had to punish her sense she was a TODDLER, she is just about the most well behaved child on the planet. She wanted bangs she said. We did of course talk about it and she actually went on a scissor rampage so she doesn't have electronics this week, I've never had to take them from her before beyond "oh your fussy you've been on the computer too much go outside" srsly she's so well behaved and sweet. She got an award at school for kindness and when a little boy came into her class who had cancer they put him next to her at her table because they knew she wouldn't tease or ignore him because of his hair and tubes and when he would sometimes have a potty accident. Needles to say they sat her with him for the rest of the year. This is SO out of character for her.

At the risk of playing armchair psychologist, I think you're projecting a lot of your own experiences onto your daughter. No kid is going to get horribly teased because she cut her own bangs. It's totally age appropriate-- every kid does it. Even good kids. Even almost-perfect kids. Even the best behaved kids on the planet.

It's normal.

Deep breaths: it's only hair.

 

[lovethattink]

She just might show you that she has such a dynamic personality that she can pull off any hair style and remain just as confident. Showing that it's only hair which is just a small part of her.

I do know how you feel though. My oldest ds had a perfect face as a young teen. No blemishes or scars. He went skating with friends and fell on the ice resulting in 14 stitches at his eye. It was hard to stomach at first. But it gives him character and has an interesting story.

 

[Elsabear6]

My girl is a regular hair cutter, the last time was about a month before her ballet recital....it drives me nutty! The last time I had her hair cut by a professional the lovely lady had a chat with her about not cutting her own hair and coming to see a hairdresser when she feels it needs cut. So far, that chat has done more than I could ever do. Maybe take her to somebody who "knows what they are talking about".

My girl is also going into grade 2. I also have seen a fair bit of self-cut hair as a grade 1 teacher.

 

[Woodmnky]

You are "devistated" because of your child's "dorky" hair and because she wears glasses that don't show off her face? Maybe you should spend time focusing on who your daughter is and not just what you think she looks like.

 

[Allison]

Don't give a costume the power to make you "distraught."

It's only a costume, it's only hair. The hair will grow back. Who knows, maybe when they're done right she'll look fabulous in bangs.

In the meantime, it's summer, so her appearance isn't a big deal.

What she did was totally normal-- every kid in the world has cut his/her own hair. But I would speak to her about having scissors so close to her eyes without adult supervision.







At the risk of playing armchair psychologist, I think you're projecting a lot of your own experiences onto your daughter. No kid is going to get horribly teased because she cut her own bangs. It's totally age appropriate-- every kid does it. Even good kids. Even almost-perfect kids. Even the best behaved kids on the planet.

It's normal.

Deep breaths: it's only hair.

I completely agree with you.

 

[BlueFairy]

I don't normally chime in on parenting threads. I can tell you to brace yourself. Everyone will have an opinion of your decision making and many will not be pretty.

Anyway, I just want to reassure you that she might just be a different sort of normal than you are. My DD has the exact same feelings about hygiene and hair care, and has that free spirit, don't care about others' opinions personality. She is 9 and has always been this way. At the risk of sounding corny - Let It Go!

It's so hard for me, and I push her way too much. She just pushes back and it makes it worse. But the more I let go and just calmly reinforce good habits, the easier it becomes. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, and she is learning VERY slowly. It will come in time. Meanwhile, bite your tongue. She may not care about what other kids think, but she does care about your opinion, even if she doesn't act like it.

 

[BuzzinDownToDisney]

Man, I wish I'd known there were so many perfect parents on this site (Aside from the condescending judging of any other parent) when we had my child. You folks are top notch! I'd tell you to look in the mirror, but that's probably impossible because the glow of your halo is too bright.

OP, bummer about your daughter, but it will grow back. I know none of the parents of the century in this thread want to admit it, but even the best kids do stupid stuff. So no, she doesn't need therapy, military school or more hugs, she just wanted bangs.

 

[Aurora0427]

It's hair. It'll grow back. This is not the end of the world.

My mother spent years frustrated with my sister because she wore her hair in a knot on the top of her head and sweatshirts to school. Yeah, she looked sloppy but she had friends and a happy teen hood. In the words of Elsa, let it go!

 

[LiveYourLife]

One day OP, you will be able to look back on this and laugh.

Enjoy your trip!