I am kinda miffed at my family and people "in the know"

[JohnTBap]

You did a wonderful thing. I am sorry that you weren't supported on the anniversary of your giving the best gift a family will ever have.

{{{HUGS}}}

 

[Gail T AGAIN]

preshi, i am so sorry for your pain. Can I tell you my thoughts on this, if I was the one with you I dont think i would of said anything so I wouldn't hope bring on even more pain and hurt that you are feeling. I never walked in your shoes so i can't feel the pain, again I am so sorry.

 

[Kitty 34]

{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}} to you, Preshi.

 

[C.Ann]

I'm so sorry that this happened to you - and no one recognizes your pain..

I was adopted as an infant myself and as difficult as it must have been, I always admired my birth mother for making such an unselfish decision.. Through an odd set of circumstances I eventually learned who she was and admired her even more because she was closely connected to my adoptive parents and had to sit back quietly and actually WATCH someone else raise me without saying a word.. I don't know if I could have been as courageous as she was..

You're a special person, preshi and I'm truly sorry that you have to feel this pain..

Hugs,
C.Ann

 

[Buckalew]

Preshi,
I am so sorry that they either "forgot" about it or that they maybe didn't know what to say for fear of you being upset. Of course, I think, you will always grieve on that day. I wouldn't expect to get over such a thing as giving up a child. Even though you knew she was better off etc. etc. it still must be painful. Like others said, it was the most selfless act you could have ever done--the greatest gift you could have ever given a couple who wanted to nuture her. I doubt all the couseling in this world could make you feel differently about your Lily.
Many {{{hugs}}} my friend.

 

[Kermit]

{{{Hugs}}} I'm so sorry. I don't know exactly what you're going through, but I imagine that it must be very painful. It is hard for people to know exactly how to help when they haven't been through the experience, but they should know that most people do like to talk about it when they've experienced any kind of loss.

I agree that you were probably very much in the minds of the people who adopted your sweet little girl. I'm sure that they think of you all the time, but especially on her birthday. You did a wonderful thing.

 

[GIGGLES266]

My heart goes out to you. It is always hard when an anniversary of this type rolls around. It truly was the ultimate act of love for your child. Have you considered starting a tradition for that day that would include your family and/or friends? Don't be afraid to let those close to you know what you need on that day. Hugs to you.

 

[janette]

{{{HUGS}}} to you. I agree with other's that the family your DD is in was thinking of you today. I can think of no other gift so wonderful than you have given them.

 

[ellyn2000]

It's often easier for people to say nothing when they're not sure just what words to use to comfort someone. A simple "I'm thinking of you today" would have probably helped you. I hope it's not too late. I will be thinking of you in the following days and hope your pain lessens with each anniversary. You are very brave and unselfish.

 

[smiley]

" I think it's quite normal when you lose someone to think about them and be sad..."


__________________

Preshi,

I definitely agree with you regarding it being quite normal to be sad about this situation, although I don't think it's fair of you to be "miffed" at them. Perhaps they forgot or more likely, they know it's a rough day for you they do not bring it up thinking it may cause you even more sorrow.

My mother gave a daughter up for adoption before I was born. I believe it was a selfless loving act. I know when my sister's birthdate is, although I have never said anything to my mother on that date. I have the utmost respect for my mother, and because of that I only choose to talk to her about her daughter when she brings the subject up (which, by the way, is only 3 times since I have been an adult).

"I am just so upset that no one thought enough to maybe think I was in pain..."

My personal opinion is that it's not fair for you to be upset with your loved ones for not mentioning it, especially if you haven't told them why you are feeling so bad.

I know my message may sound harsh, but I wouldn't feel right not being honest, since I'm in their shoes. Like I stated earlier, out of respect for my mother, I do not bring the subject up. I wait for her. Perhaps, out of respect, your loved ones are waiting for you too...

 

[shortbun]

I'm an Mom thru adoption too. I want you to know
that Lily's mom is thinking of you and loving
you for choosing not to parent Lily. All we adoptive
Moms know how brave and wonderful you
birthmoms are...it's a most courageous and
incredible thing you have done. I agree with
some of the posters who suggest you quietly
mention this day to your loved ones and ask
for their love and support especially on Lily's
birthday. Then next year-remind them that
the day is upon you and you'll need them a lot
that day. Sorry you experienced grief and
dissapointment on the same day this year-
just a suggestion but you might plan something
upbeat for next year and try to celebrate Lily's
birthday and her life a little
instead of centering so
much on the loss of her. I realize this might
not be possible for you. I don't mean to offend.
I wish you well and peace.
mimi

 

[Briar Rose 7457]

Originally posted by A kid at heart
Which means you probably still need counseling or at the very least a support group.

perhaps you should not be so judgmental, Beverly.

even if you've dealt with the loss, Meagan, I'm sure the anniversary was a bittersweet occasion.

 

[A kid at heart]

I'm not Robin, but she obviously has a problem in dealing with this or she wouldn't have posted it!(they already know its me)

 

[Beauty]

Judgemental? Hello! I don't see telling some one they need a support group is judgemental. Support Groups of people who have been there and know what you are going through can help more than anything because they have been there.

Preshi,
I'm so sorry that no one remembered or said anything when you obviously needed them. We are always here if you need to talk though. {{{HUGS}}}

 

[Briar Rose 7457]

you don't think it's normal to grieve on such an occasion, Beverly? Meagan came here for support and comfort, not advice.

please don't hijack her thread.

 

[nuke]

I don't think Kid is doing the hijacking here. And why are you judging her posts?

 

[Briar Rose 7457]

and Beauty, Meagan did n't say she was having trouble dealing with this -- only that she was sad on the anniversary of the child's birth. the first time Beverly brought up counselling, Meagan said she's been through counselling. there was no legit reason for Beverly to bring it up again.

{{{hugs}}} Meagan. don't let them start with you.

 

[A kid at heart]

She posted and I responded with my opinion. Sorry if you don't agree with me. Don't you have some Godiva waiting for you?

There is nothing wrong with going to more counseling or therapy or a support group. IF it didn't bother her then she wouldn't have had to vent about it.

 

[Beauty]

Why Songbird if I didn't know better I would think you were accusing some of us as being a "posse"


And if you don't want the thread hijacked why did you feel the need to post bait to begin with? Obviously the thread will end up being locked which doesn't help Meagan a bit now does it.

 

[A kid at heart]

Which means you probably still need counseling or at the very least a support group.

How is this so bad? it obviously bothers her, so then if she went to a SUPPORT group it might help her to deal with how she feels.
Thats what a support group does, it helps you.