I am dumbfounded!

[Liberty Belle]

If the mother is indeed reading the book and doing the project for the daughter, then she's not doing her daughter any favors. Kids need to be able to do things on their own, in order to become independent adults.

True, if she is reading ALL of the book and doing ALL (or even most, in my opinion) of the project, but the OP doesn't know for sure any of this and it's still not her business. I can't imagine how she'd "intervene," either.

 

[jrmasm]

It is one thing to judge, but it is another thing to intervene.

I missed the intervene part. Of course not, that's ridiculous.

 

[tigercat]

It's been a while since I had a kid in grade school but I do remember that I used to get upset when my kids would hand in a project that they did all the work on and then get graded against all the projects that it was real apparent that the parents had done all the work. My kids work would of course not get as good a grade as the others but oh well. I did talk to one of the teachers about it and she agreed that it was unfair but if I wanted to do my kids projects than they would get a better grade??????
tigercat

 

[ols386]

True, if she is reading ALL of the book and doing ALL (or even most, in my opinion) of the project, but the OP doesn't know for sure any of this and it's still not her business. I can't imagine how she'd "intervene," either.

Like I said, if indeed the mom is doing all the reading and project work, then it's not helping the child.

I wouldn't think of trying to intervene in this.

 

[klj27]

My daughter had a friend whose mother did her homework. When my daughter told me in 7th grade I didn't believe my daughter and told her that her friend probably wasn't explaining herself well. Imagine my shock when the mother told me herself! It continued on through 8th grade as well. We sat at a baseball game and the mother was doing her homework because she "just didn't have the time". Hello, the daughter was sitting right next to her. They go to different high schools now and I will hopefully be blissfully unaware of what they do.

 

[jen0610]

You're listening to what an 11-year old is SAYING and not what she MEANS. It is probably what the other posters are saying and the mom is reading the book in parallel with the 6th grader.

I have seen more science projects, art projects, social studies charts/maps, book reports done by parents then kids in the last 4 years of having kids in Middle school, so yea I can readily believe that this girls mom is doing ALL of the work for her.

 

[Just_Trish]

Maybe your daughter doing homework with this girl would be a GOOD thing. As a peer, she can set the example for this girl and show her what doing your own work is like!

 

[EllenFrasier]

Well, I didn't mean intervene with the Mom doing the homework - I meant, what if this kid cannot read - it does happen. Children go all through school and do not know how to read. Sad, but not impossible. I would tell someone at the school on the sly that maybe this girl cannot read if I found it to be true. Next time she's here I'm asking her which book she chose and how she liked it - that will tell me if she read it or not.
I already had a little talk with my dd about the homework issue so that's all ironed out. I didn't make a big deal of it, just told her that she is not doing homework with her friends, but if they want to study together that would be fine - you know for tests. Lots and lots of tests.
Thanks for all your help guys!

 

[Liberty Belle]

Well, I didn't mean intervene with the Mom doing the homework - I meant, what if this kid cannot read - it does happen. Children go all through school and do not know how to read. Sad, but not impossible. I would tell someone at the school on the sly that maybe this girl cannot read if I found it to be true. Next time she's here I'm asking her which book she chose and how she liked it - that will tell me if she read it or not.
I already had a little talk with my dd about the homework issue so that's all ironed out. I didn't make a big deal of it, just told her that she is not doing homework with her friends, but if they want to study together that would be fine - you know for tests. Lots and lots of tests.
Thanks for all your help guys!

I honestly don't see how in the past few years anyone could get through to highschool without being able to read and without the teachers/administrators at the school knowing about it. I only have experience in three different elementary schools and they were all in the same district, but there are many assessments of reading done each year.

 

[minniebeth]

I have seen more science projects, art projects, social studies charts/maps, book reports done by parents then kids in the last 4 years of having kids in Middle school, so yea I can readily believe that this girls mom is doing ALL of the work for her.

Ditto...I always say, it will catch up with them eventually...kids can't take their parents to college with them.

 

[goodeats]

Ditto...I always say, it will catch up with them eventually...kids can't take their parents to college with them.

Ha! My roommate's younger sister was accepted to a rigorous college and couldn't quite hack it. Before she and the family made the decision to transfer her to a less competitive school the mom drove down to the college got a hotel room and wrote one of her essays for her! My roommate was horrified! That's helicopter parenting at it's finest.

 

[Magpie]

Well, I didn't mean intervene with the Mom doing the homework - I meant, what if this kid cannot read - it does happen. Children go all through school and do not know how to read. Sad, but not impossible. I would tell someone at the school on the sly that maybe this girl cannot read if I found it to be true. Next time she's here I'm asking her which book she chose and how she liked it - that will tell me if she read it or not.
I already had a little talk with my dd about the homework issue so that's all ironed out. I didn't make a big deal of it, just told her that she is not doing homework with her friends, but if they want to study together that would be fine - you know for tests. Lots and lots of tests.
Thanks for all your help guys!

I don't see how this can end well at all. It's not your job to test this girl to see how well she reads, and it's certainly not your job to tell the school anything about another person's child "on the sly".

There are times to get involved in the life of a stranger's child. Those are times when the child or their parent turns to you for help, or when you have good reason to believe the child is being sexually or physically abused. This is not one of those times. You need to mind your own business.

 

[MushyMushy]

Ditto...I always say, it will catch up with them eventually...kids can't take their parents to college with them.

Oh they find ways.

 

[bumbershoot]

Maybe your daughter doing homework with this girl would be a GOOD thing. As a peer, she can set the example for this girl and show her what doing your own work is like!

I was thinking the same thing.

 

[dicar123]

My husband and I, when we were newly engaged and I was still a college student went to visit an Aunt of mine. Her high school aged daughter's boyfriend had to read White Fang for school.

My Aunt decided we should all take turns reading it aloud because "Kevin hates to read." It was actually kind of fun and we did discuss the book quite a bit.

Kevin is now a cabinet-maker who does absolutely gorgeous work.

 

[C.Ann]

It's my business because she wants to do homework with my daughter!

I wouldn't allow them to do homework together if you are having concerns..

I don't see how this can end well at all. It's not your job to test this girl to see how well she reads, and it's certainly not your job to tell the school anything about another person's child "on the sly".

There are times to get involved in the life of a stranger's child. Those are times when the child or their parent turns to you for help, or when you have good reason to believe the child is being sexually or physically abused. This is not one of those times. You need to mind your own business.

On the other hand, I have to agree with this as well.. If you attempt to do anything "on the sly" and it gets back to the other child and/or her mother (and it will), your DD will end up paying the consequences..

It's probably best that you control what goes on with your own DD and leave the rest alone..

 

[Spinning]

when my kids entered 6th grade the school gave extra credit points if the parent also read the required reading. It was usually a book about life skills or social issues. I have read one of their books each summer. Even now that my oldest is entering HS. I have my own papers to fill out.
Maybe this is what the kid means?

 

[Julia M]

We have an intersting way of doing things at our private (parochial) school, at least in junior high.

There are essentially NO outside book reports, essays and such that are assigned outside of school. Vocabulary, spelling, reading chapters, etc, but no writing, except for maybe short answer questions for a literature unit.

It is all done IN CLASS. Rough drafts, editing, everything.

The beauty of this is that the teachers are grading the kids work, not their parents.

Our kids have reasonable homework assignments (not crazy amounts).

Most of the kids are accepted into highly competitive private high schools in the area, and then going on to college.

I actually think doing it this way makes the kids better writers-they know parents can't "help" (meaning write and rewrite) their essay. They have to do it themselves.

Of course, we have an amazing English yeacher at our school (and know we are very, very lucky)

julia

 

[cm8]

If I find out a 6th grader's parent is doing their homework, I'm going to judge. I don't really care if it's my business or not.

Don't you know that is reserved for the DIS police and their cohorts

 

[Disney Doll]

If you feel that you don't want DD & this other child doing homework together, just say no.

As far as what goes on between the mother & her child, MYOB.