I am crazy! I invited a teenager to come with us...

[TennesseeGirl]

I WAS going with just my ds11 in November. I supervise a good number of teen volunteers and I had already been thinking about taking another kid along with us since we have an extra bed. I have been working with one teen in particular for the past four years who is a complete disney nerd. She aspires to be a voice actor for disney and has never been before.

Sort of on impulse I asked her if she wanted to come with us and it looks like it is going to happen. I kind of can't wait to see what happens when we get there. She will be in heaven and I think that will make our trip even more fun. My son is super excited that she's coming. He kind of hates being an only child and they get along really well. I also told her to think of a friend to invite who her mom would approve of and wouldn't drive everyone crazy.

I don't know why I am making this trip so complicated. I also talked a coworker into going with her two kids and her mom. They are just going to be there the first part of the trip.

So... Now I'm starting to stress a little about the extra responsibility. I don't feel the need to keep them on I tight leash but how much freedom do people allow their teens? She is 15 and I'm assuming that if a friend comes they will be the same age.

Advice?

 

[SLP958]

Oh my. This sounds like a lot of extra $$$ and responsibility.

I would think 15 year olds could be left to explore the park alone. I would just make the stipulation that we all had to leave the park together at a set time.

 

[TennesseeGirl]

Oh my. This sounds like a lot of extra $$$ and responsibility. I would think 15 year olds could be left to explore the park alone. I would just make the stipulation that we all had to leave the park together at a set time.

We are going during free dining and she is paying for her ticket and anything else she wants to buy during the trip.

I was not the most responsible teen... I'm projecting I guess. She seems to be a rule follower, but you never know. I am mostly worried about meeting boys on the trip.

 

[glassslippergirl]

I don't have kids these ages yet, but I teach kids in the 11-15 range. If she is a generally a good kid and gets along with your son, it should be fine.

I wouldn't recommend giving her free reign to roam the park just because you've said you're not sure how it will go. I'd let her and your son make the plan for the day but accompany them on most of it. If she wants to go on one ride and your son wants to go on another, I might consider splitting up for that but then reuniting after about an hour. If you do want to give more freedom, I'd insist in check ins (live and in person, not by phone) every two hours or so.

Your post makes it seem like she will be joining you and DS in your lodgings. Have you considered the logistics of a 15-year-old young woman sharing close quarters with an 11-year-old boy? I'm sure it's doable, but you may want to consider some rules and talk to each of them about it.

 

[bjscheel]

Especially since it's her first time and she will be unfamiliar with the parks, she/her friend might be content to stick with you most of the time. If she doesn't have a friend with, she will probably be even less likely to separate from you. My oldest is 15 and she would have no desire to run around on her own (or to meet boys). You could split up within the same area of the park if needed, but since your son is big enough to ride everything she rides, she might want to stay with you. It's not like your child is a little kid who will have vastly different wants and needs. I would play it by ear and see how she is when you are in the parks.

 

[OnceUponATime15]

Perhaps a sit down with this 15 year olds parents is a good idea. They are the best people to work with to establish a travel plan/guideline for their child

They may have no problem with their DD being allowed to explore on her own at a place she's never visited before, is very very excited to be at, with people in charge who are not the parent... or they may have. A good heartfelt conversation will allow everyone to be on the same page. No regrets later.

 

[DVCkidsMOM]

Well I was with you on bringing a teen - we've done that. I got overwhelmed when your party size exploded to include friends and co-workers - but that's me.

As far as teens - we loved having an extra teen to help with the kids and it was the teen's first trip to WDW. We had loose verbal agreements prior to the trip regarding how much and when the teen would have teen time rather than with us time. It helped me to know that we had a plan for that. I've let my kids, now teens, almost free-reign at WDW because they have been since they were babies and know where they are going, how to get there, and what consequences will rain down upon them should they break any WDW or family rules. I would be a little more cautious with anyone who has never been to WDW, regardless of age. I think you'll have to go with your instincts - if it feels comfortable then you are probably in the OK zone, but if your insides are quivering then maybe you need to reevaluate. It will probably partly depend on travel situation between you and where teen wants to be, time of day, crowd levels, communication options... We really enjoyed having a teen with us when my kids were younger and it was her only trip to WDW - ever, so we probably brought a little magic into her life. Enjoy spreading the magic.

 

[Missymouse18]

We took my 14 year old niece last month. It was a totally different experience for us, as we are now empty-nesting. We really had a great time with her and I am so glad we were able to be part of her first (and maybe only) trip to WDW.
Not sure I will ever volunteer to do it again because it was a huge responsibility, but it was a unique and memorable time for DH and me.
I know there is a little extra weight on you when you have another child along who you are responsible for, but look at it as having a hand in making someone's dream come true! Be a blessing and have a blast!!

 

[pigletto]

I always answer that it depends on the kid in question. We brought dd's best friend when they were both 15. She is an absolutely wonderful person, and we've known her for years. She was over the moon about being able to come and I had to sit her down at some point and tell her she wasn't to thank me one more time.
It worked out absolutely great and I would do it again in a heartbeat. DD does have other friends though that I couldn't do that with. One in particular is a very nice girl but is so LOUD all the time that I can only handle her in small doses. It wouldn't be relaxing or fun to bring her along unfortunately.

 

[Maleficent Dragon]

My only concern would be the relationships surviving the trip. We have done Disney with friends and family.

Regardless of how strong your relationship is, you do tend to get tired of people throughout the trip. There also sometimes seems to be a "pull for power" when everybody has something different they want to do, different ways to tour, different schedules, etc.

We once allowed a friend to come with us and my kid and this kid are no longer friends. Both are very easy going. You learn a lot about people when you go on vacation with them.

 

[Aliceacc]

Three kids is a tricky number, particulary when 2 are teenage girls and the third is a younger boy. If you're not careful, your son will still feel like an only child as the girl and her friend have a separate trip of their own.

I think I would call this a "family trip" and make plans to do things as a family, particularly if the girls don't know their way around. Book FPs that you know all 3 kids will enjoy, and meals for everyone to enjoy. Likewise, I would plan for evening entertainment for everyone.

And I agree that logistics are a problem. If you have a standard hotel room, that leaves your son sleeping with you. Is he going to be OK with that, particularly with 2 15 year old girls along? (Or will he feel like a baby, sleeping with mommy?)

 

[ajwolfe]

Your post makes it seem like she will be joining you and DS in your lodgings. Have you considered the logistics of a 15-year-old young woman sharing close quarters with an 11-year-old boy? I'm sure it's doable, but you may want to consider some rules and talk to each of them about it.

We just took our 16 year old niece along on our trip with our 7 and 10 year old boys. Well all 5 stayed in a room (POR) and it worked out fine. There was no issue with the 10 year being in the room with a teen girl. Now, of course, they are family, so it may be a little different but I wouldn't be super worried about this element of the trip.

What I'm thinking is that you shouldn't even the girl's friend along. I think your child will end up being the odd man out and it will make him feel like an only child anyways. If you just take the one girl, then he will have her attention and feel more special. Just a thought.

 

[minnie mum]

I think that what you are doing is great, although I too was taken slightly aback when I saw the total size of your party. Since its her first trip, I doubt that she will want to separate from you for any length of time, but as the trip wears on you may find that you all might want more time on your own.

I'd have a sit down with her parents to go over THEIR expectations for her. And don't forget to get a letter of permission from them for her to travel with you and for you to act on their behalf if she should need medical treatment. Also get medical insurance info. Does she have any kind of photo ID? Can't hurt. Sorry if this seems too obvious - my mind just goes straight to logistics.

 

[Luvchefmic]

Three kids is a tricky number, particulary when 2 are teenage girls and the third is a younger boy. If you're not careful, your son will still feel like an only child as the girl and her friend have a separate trip of their own.

I think I would call this a "family trip" and make plans to do things as a family, particularly if the girls don't know their way around. Book FPs that you know all 3 kids will enjoy, and meals for everyone to enjoy. Likewise, I would plan for evening entertainment for everyone.

And I agree that logistics are a problem. If you have a standard hotel room, that leaves your son sleeping with you. Is he going to be OK with that, particularly with 2 15 year old girls along? (Or will he feel like a baby, sleeping with mommy?)

Yes I agree with this I also would keep the girls by my side the whole time for other reasons: they have never been there and your responsibility for them is even at a higher level since they are not family members and these are girls you normally supervise I wouldn't consider it a tight leash, its not jail, they will have a blast just being there

You're not crazy You're very nice Just why complicate things and add needless stress ?

 

[lam0037]

My only reservation would be having the girl inviting a friend. Since you won't know this friend and she won't know you, it might make things uncomfortable. I say this from my own previous experiences as a 15 year old. If I had to share a room with strangers, I wouldn't really like it and I don't think my parents would either honestly. Not saying that you are a weirdo or anything, as you are so incredibly sweet to be offering this in the first place. I just know that while I could go with friends and their families, I probably wouldn't be allowed to go with a friend and her mentor (i'm assuming that's basically what it is since you care enough about the girl to bring her) and her son. (not speaking bad about that, just that you have a relationship with the one girl but not her friend)

I think it's great that you are willing and able to include so many people in your trip. But I think you, your son, and the original girl would have a much better time than if you include someone else. Your son might feel isolated and embarrassed if they get to do their own thing and he is stuck with his mom.

I am an only child and I loved bringing a friend on a trip. But I found bringing two friends can be a challenge because one person tends to feel excluded for whatever reason (teenagers fight about stupid stuff and are moody). Dynamics worked a lot better when it was just one friend. Something to consider.

 

[DisUniversal]

I WAS going with just my ds11 in November. I supervise a good number of teen volunteers and I had already been thinking about taking another kid along with us since we have an extra bed. I have been working with one teen in particular for the past four years who is a complete disney nerd. She aspires to be a voice actor for disney and has never been before.

Sort of on impulse I asked her if she wanted to come with us and it looks like it is going to happen. I kind of can't wait to see what happens when we get there. She will be in heaven and I think that will make our trip even more fun. My son is super excited that she's coming. He kind of hates being an only child and they get along really well. I also told her to think of a friend to invite who her mom would approve of and wouldn't drive everyone crazy.

I don't know why I am making this trip so complicated. I also talked a coworker into going with her two kids and her mom. They are just going to be there the first part of the trip.

So... Now I'm starting to stress a little about the extra responsibility. I don't feel the need to keep them on I tight leash but how much freedom do people allow their teens? She is 15 and I'm assuming that if a friend comes they will be the same age.

Advice?

Make sure everyone has a cellphone and can get in touch if you allow them to go off on their own. Also, have at least a couple pre-designated meeting places and times as a backup in case contact is lost.

 

[SmallWorld71]

Three kids is a tricky number, particulary when 2 are teenage girls and the third is a younger boy. If you're not careful, your son will still feel like an only child as the girl and her friend have a separate trip of their own.

I think I would call this a "family trip" and make plans to do things as a family, particularly if the girls don't know their way around. Book FPs that you know all 3 kids will enjoy, and meals for everyone to enjoy. Likewise, I would plan for evening entertainment for everyone.

And I agree that logistics are a problem. If you have a standard hotel room, that leaves your son sleeping with you. Is he going to be OK with that, particularly with 2 15 year old girls along? (Or will he feel like a baby, sleeping with mommy?)

This. If it's not too late, I would skip the extra teen and just go with 3 of you. I often travel with just DS15 and DD11. When it is just the 3 of us, they often ride rides together and DS15 will get down to her level so to speak and show enthusiasm for things that he normally wouldn't care about. (Like volunteering to ride Barnstormer with her, for example) When I take DS18 (my step son) along, the kids are still well-behaved, but the dynamic completely changes. The teenagers end up pairing up and DD becomes my partner for everything.

 

[KittyKitty]

I would invite the young girl only.

If she brought a friend, you son may feel left out. And taking responsibility for the 3rd child would stress me out!

 

[TennesseeGirl]

I think that what you are doing is great, although I too was taken slightly aback when I saw the total size of your party. Since its her first trip, I doubt that she will want to separate from you for any length of time, but as the trip wears on you may find that you all might want more time on your own. I'd have a sit down with her parents to go over THEIR expectations for her. And don't forget to get a letter of permission from them for her to travel with you and for you to act on their behalf if she should need medical treatment. Also get medical insurance info. Does she have any kind of photo ID? Can't hurt. Sorry if this seems too obvious - my mind just goes straight to logistics.

Thank you... I'm not sure I would have thought of that.

 

[TennesseeGirl]

My only reservation would be having the girl inviting a friend. Since you won't know this friend and she won't know you, it might make things uncomfortable. I say this from my own previous experiences as a 15 year old. If I had to share a room with strangers, I wouldn't really like it and I don't think my parents would either honestly. Not saying that you are a weirdo or anything, as you are so incredibly sweet to be offering this in the first place. I just know that while I could go with friends and their families, I probably wouldn't be allowed to go with a friend and her mentor (i'm assuming that's basically what it is since you care enough about the girl to bring her) and her son. (not speaking bad about that, just that you have a relationship with the one girl but not her friend) I think it's great that you are willing and able to include so many people in your trip. But I think you, your son, and the original girl would have a much better time than if you include someone else. Your son might feel isolated and embarrassed if they get to do their own thing and he is stuck with his mom. I am an only child and I loved bringing a friend on a trip. But I found bringing two friends can be a challenge because one person tends to feel excluded for whatever reason (teenagers fight about stupid stuff and are moody). Dynamics worked a lot better when it was just one friend. Something to consider.

I've been convinced! I told her that I decided I couldn't handle two teenage girls and she was fine with that. Also hadn't really thought about someone feeling awkward about sharing a hotel room with a virtual stranger.