husband won't fly!

[renae3]

Hello everyone. I have a dilemna and was hoping to get some advice out there. We have a trip to disney booked for April and originally thought about possibly driving. As the time has gotten closer I am having a hard time thinking about driving with my 2 year old son, 5 year old son and hubby! The ride non stop would be about 19 hours. Though, we planned to make to night stops, so it would be 5 hours one night, 7 hours the next day and then 7 hours the last day. I asked my husband about flying the other day and he wont' budge, he is terrified of flying and won't get on a plane. Mind you, he flew in November for work, yes he was terrified then, but said he did it only because it was work and he had to. Anyway, I forgot to mention I am 18 weeks pregnant too! So, will driving be really bad or will it be an adventure as my husband says. Any feedback will be greatly appreciated! Thanks again.

 

[lauracjc]

We have driven before with 2yo and 18mo. We only had to stop for one night. We drove about 8 hours the first day and again about 8 hours the second. The girls did surprisingly well. Of course we had plenty for them to do. Coloring books, story books, lacing cards, maps and the best was portable DVD player. Lots of snacks are a good idea too. You also must remember that it takes longer at rest stops etc. with kids. They need to get out and run around. We just looked at it as an adventure. This year we are planning an Auto Train adventure. Taking the same entertainment as well as a couple of hand held video games.

I think you should try it and if it turns out really miserable maybe your DH will change his mind about it next time and decide to fly.

 

[MichelleinMaine]

are there even flights available when you'd go in APril? Not sure where you're flying from, but around here stuff is sold out (or $700 per person). That made our decision to drive for us! (It's a 23 hour trip.) We're hoping for the best, lol.

FWIW (perhaps nothing!) we flew to FL when I was about 20w pregnant and I passed out on the plane. (Not sure it definitely had anything to do with the flight, but it's the only time it ever happened to me...) Be sure to rest up, drink water, etc!

 

[ClarabelleCowFan]

Are you having any morning sickness? If so then driving is going to be a literal nightmare!

I vote fly but as a PP mentioned the costs are probably outrageous at this point.

If your DH is interested in working on his fear of flying there are plenty of free resources out there. The only 2 I would recommend are:

www.fearofflyinghelp.com and www.takingflight.us/forums

Lots of good info about anxieties at www.anxieties.com

Beware of any fear of flying help that wants to sell you their program. All of that information is FREE out there online for the taking or asking.

 

[Diamondintheruff]

With the kids being so young, you may want to take advantage of their afternoon and evening sleeping hours and drive more in the evening. For example make it a two day drive and leave at lunch time-say noon and than the kids will sleep at nap time. Stop for dinner, change the kids into their PJ's and drive until midnight. The next day you are left with a six hour drive that should have you arriving at Disney right after your kids nap! They'll be bright eyed and busy tailed. You two on the other hand might not be.

 

[dis-happy]

Talk to your OB. I did a driving trip last year at 18 weeks pg. and was told to stop every 2 hours and let the blood circulate, and also to drink, drink, drink (enough so that I HAD to stop every 2 hours anyway and use the restroom!). Personally, I'd rather do a 19 hour trip in 2 days of driving rather than 3. Good luck.

 

[TheDizMom]

Are you having any morning sickness? If so then driving is going to be a literal nightmare!

I vote fly but as a PP mentioned the costs are probably outrageous at this point.

If your DH is interested in working on his fear of flying there are plenty of free resources out there. The only 2 I would recommend are:

www.fearofflyinghelp.com and www.takingflight.us/forums

Lots of good info about anxieties at www.anxieties.com

Beware of any fear of flying help that wants to sell you their program. All of that information is FREE out there online for the taking or asking.

While morning sickness in a car would suck, on a plane it can be just as bad and a lot harder to get into a bathroom when really needed. At least in the car you can pull over. When I was pregnant with my first child I was a flight attendant and for the first 5 months I would become nauseated from the minute the plane took off until about 20-30 minutes after we landed. It was miserable and if the plane is warm, oy!!! As soon as that plane landed I wanted to kiss the ground .

I think you have pros and cons to both, but if he really hates flying that much, is it really worth having him freak out in front of your kids and have them stressed out too? Lets face it hurtling across the sky in a metal tube for any amount of time with 2 small children is a challenge without adding the biggest child of them all and his fear of flying to the mix. I think you could cut the drive down to 2 days with an overnight and some long rest stops. I also think being in their own car and seats will mean you can get at least some napping out the younger one, and if they get restless they aren't bothering anyone but Mom and Dad. I realize whatever you decide one of the adults isn't going to be thrilled with the arrangement , so just look at it as part of the adventure.

 

[Liljam]

I refuse to fly too and we have a 16 hour drive. I couldn't have done it while I was pregnant but I was very sick the entire time. I enjoy the ride though. All my life we drove to Fl and stopped at places along the way. We played games with license plates and sang songs... It can be fun to drive. It would only take us 2 hours to fly to MCO but I cannot do it. My whole family wanted to fly for our trip in May, but they're driving too because I'm chicken!

 

[SplashMountainMama]

DH and I just went through this, but it was me who didn't want to fly. We had bought flight tickets months in advance and then a few weeks before I chickened out. Our problem was he couldn't take extra days off work to account for the driving so we ended up splitting up. I drove (19 hours) with 3 of the kids (9 yr old, 3 yrold and 3 month old) and he flew with our other 3 kids. It sounds crazy, but it worked for us. I love car trips so I wasn't too worried and the kids did great in the car. We took our time and allotted 3 days for driving each way. It actually turned out to be a really nice drive, but I love driving and hate flying so there's a bit of bias there. If you can drive when the kids are sleeping it would be even better.

 

[hmacmahony]

I am the one in our family that will not fly, I have flown, but will avoid it at all cost.
We have driven three times to disney, from new jersey. We only spent one night in a hotel (I believe it is anywhere between 20-24 hour drive). We have four kids, and have driven with them at all ages.
My family also lives in Illinois (14 hours from us), so we drive out there 3-5 times a year. The earliest my kids have driven a trip like that was 9 days old (my first), and I have done it at almost every stage of pregnacy.
Yes, you will have to stop a lot, and get out, and you will have to pee a lot, but I was not uncomfortable driving, and I am the one who entertains. So, I climb back and forth a lot during the drive (try doing that one at 8 months pregnant..)
My kids love the driving, we are going to my familys at easter, my kids are dying to get in the car to go! They love stoping at gas stations, and to eat, and seeing everything. We do have a dvd player, but we could also do without it. We really only use it when it is dark, and can't do other things.
As someone with a fear of flying (which, yes I know is irrational), I would spent the week before a trip worrying about the flight, to the point of not sleeping, crying a ton, sick to my stomach, then I would do the flight, and spent the whole time I was on vacation worrying about getting home. It would make any trip we made where a flight was involved miserable.
good luck with your choice, but if you drive, it won't be bad, and I think you could combine the days, so you did not have to spend two nights in a hotel.

 

[mylilnikita]

Before I met now exdh, I did road trips by myself or with friends. Well, I was almost 6 months pregnant and his DGF passed away but we didn't get word until a month later, yea, nice right? He felt a need of instead of saving money to fly, we would drive. LEt me tell you what, he has to this day no sense of direction, so we got lost while I was asleep, I woke up and we were no where we were supposed to be. I took the wheel and started driving, oh I had never been there before but I had Mapquest. Anyway, it took about 22 hours from where we lived to Springfield Missouri on Memorial Day weekend. The front tire blew out just outside of St Louis and we had to go real slow on a spare.
Have I taken a road trip since? NOPE. Well, he and I never went anywhere after that, but I take DD9 to Wdw since she was 5 and we fly, an hour and 45 minutes non stop. Then last year we went to Oahu, so had to fly for that. I do think I would like to one day rent a SUV and go take DD and some other friends to WDW. Or even fly to WDW and then drive to Sarasota where my aunt lives as a baby step.
Good luck with what ever you decide.

 

[antree]

We have driven many times 18hrs. to Disney with 1 child then 2 childern. Starting when my DD was 4 and only 1 child she never complained or was never fussy. Then when we had my DS we drove starting when he was 10mos and my DD was 8 again no problems. The last time we drove my Son was 3 and DD was 11 but again no problems. So driving when they are young, I feel is easy. We took movies and a portable DVD, books, toys, food, paper, crayons and even some new surprises to keep them interested. We really never had a problem. We would leave bright and early, stop for lunch and dinner, then for a hotel around 11pm or at Savannah Georgia, whatever came first. The next day we would be up about 7am go to breakfast, we would stop at Florida's Welcome Center and then be in Disney by lunch time.

Now I hate driving because my DH wants to drive straight through my DD gets mad because she wants a bed, but my DS is Great he doesn't care he goes with the flow. But I hate flying more, my DH would rather fly, so we are never on the same page and we have two trips coming up and I want to drive like we use to when the kids were younger and he wants to fly, UGH!

 

[crzy4my2]

Good luck with whatever you do. If you decide to fly have your DH see his DR and get Something for the Flight to help with his nerves. I have really bad Anxiety. I cannot be in the car for a long time. I do take something for the trip but 2 hours to the Cape (Family lives there) is the longest I can do. DH and I had to be some place that was a 3 hour drive and with traffic it took 5 hours. I told him I was taking a Puddle jumper next time. Flying doesn't bother me. We went to CA and after a couple days we were going to Las Vegas. Everyone thought it would be cool to take the 6 hour drive(I think it was that long) through the Desert. I told them that I would be Flying from CA to NV. I didn't care if I went by myself and met them there but I was NOT driving.

 

[silver apple]

I am in the UK, so this may not be helpful but I have just completed a fear of flying course with Virgin Atlantic and It was superb!

I learned so much throughout the day, and on the short flight at the end the pilot explained what all the funny little noises and bumps were. Once I understood what was going on It took the fear out of flying.

If you get a chance to book him on this you should go for it - life is too short to be held hostage to fear

 

[NEVERENOUGHWDW]

I would need to get a new husband....

Luckily, he loves to travel as much as I do.

 

[LisaNJ25]

I am the one in our family that will not fly, I have flown, but will avoid it at all cost.
We have driven three times to disney, from new jersey. We only spent one night in a hotel (I believe it is anywhere between 20-24 hour drive). We have four kids, and have driven with them at all ages.
My family also lives in Illinois (14 hours from us), so we drive out there 3-5 times a year. The earliest my kids have driven a trip like that was 9 days old (my first), and I have done it at almost every stage of pregnacy.
Yes, you will have to stop a lot, and get out, and you will have to pee a lot, but I was not uncomfortable driving, and I am the one who entertains. So, I climb back and forth a lot during the drive (try doing that one at 8 months pregnant..)
My kids love the driving, we are going to my familys at easter, my kids are dying to get in the car to go! They love stoping at gas stations, and to eat, and seeing everything. We do have a dvd player, but we could also do without it. We really only use it when it is dark, and can't do other things.
As someone with a fear of flying (which, yes I know is irrational), I would spent the week before a trip worrying about the flight, to the point of not sleeping, crying a ton, sick to my stomach, then I would do the flight, and spent the whole time I was on vacation worrying about getting home. It would make any trip we made where a flight was involved miserable.
good luck with your choice, but if you drive, it won't be bad, and I think you could combine the days, so you did not have to spend two nights in a hotel.

ok.. I think your my twin.. NJ here also and I have 4 kids to. I hate to fly. We have done the auto train 2 times.. last trip we had to drive back because the train was canceled and the kids had to get back fro school.

The last time I flew (2003) I begged hubby to drive home. We we in San Franciso. I was in tears wiating to board.

The time before that was 8/11/01. I was flying alone with DS who was 8 and I even had a layover. We went to Chicago, than vegas.. that drove to Disneyland. That trip my stomach was so upset I think I overdosed on Immodium AD and Pepto Bismo. I dont think the quantity of medicine I had my carry on would pass security today

Sad thing is as a child I flew back and forth to Greece a few times.. even went to Puerto Rico in 1993 to meet the in-laws. Hubby wants to go back and I cant bring myself to fly. I think Sept 11 really pushed me over the edge.

My fear of planes is so bad that when I hear them fly over the house I think they are going to hit it.

 

[mickey&minniealways]

Try the train. Your husband wouldn't have to fly that way. You can get up and walk around instead of stopping every 2 hours. All pregnancies are different, but with 2 of my 3 I was in the bathroom constantly for all kinds of reasons. If we had had to stop constanly for me it would take almost a week so you might want to consider all this.

 

[kandb]

Another person here who's chicken to fly. We are driving to Orlando the beginning of April and it will be dh, me and our almost 5 year old twins. We have driven twice and taken the autotrain once in the last 1 1/2 years. I have no problem with driving (we live in NY metro area). I was going to try and fly this time and surprise dh, so I started checking flights and then had a dream about a plane crashing and breaking into 3 pieces, I could see the plane crashing, it was a horrible, real dream. I know it's irrational but it's subconscious and I know I would have so many anxieties before the trip it would take away a lot of the fun. Anyway, we are going to drive again and to be honest we try to make it fun (parts of the drive are boring). We will go to sleep early (10:00PM) and will wake up around 3am. We will put the kids in the car and leave (have everything in car from night before). I will drive and dh will sleep. That way we will get past wash d.c. by around 6:30 am. We plan on stopping in Savannah, GA by around 3-4 pm. We will go through the drivethru for breakfast and probably stop and sit down at a fast food for lunch and stop at a few rest areas to let the kids run around. We bring our dvd player and some new toys for the kids to keep them entertained. My kids love stopping at hotels and I always surprise them with new goddies, they love it. Good luck. I would drive before I took the auto train because it sways a lot and I don't think it would agree with being pregnant. Linda

 

[WantToGoNow]

My dh is afraid of flying as well -- but he will be flying next November for our trip. We are travelling with another family as well. The trip takes 16-17 hours and we usually do it overnight. My cousin does not see well in the dark and her dh has to sleep or he has seizures. They cannot do the drive overnight so we have all decided to fly. It would be a lot less expensive for 12 people to drive vs. fly but for safety reasons we will fly. If I have to drug him and drag him, so be it.