Husband lost his job

[kaylasmom07]

So sorry! Just wanted to wish you luck.

 

[lisaross]

THANKS - NY is not like PA - if you work 1 day that amount is deducted from your weekly amount. The unemployment is still pending - i assume they are investigating what happend? I am applying for Obamacare so hopefully we will have health insurance as of July 1st.

I am just a structured person that this kills me emotionally and i am always thinking way ahead and it freaks me out!!

Oh Lisa, I am so sorry (this is Kelly in PA!). I thought something might be up but didn't think this

First, just take a deep breath. You will be fine. You already have so many of the "must dos" taken care of, that it is more of an emotional hurdle to cross. Trust me, we've been there when both DH and I lost our jobs back when everything crashed. Its awful, but we got through it and are in a much better place that it was almost a blessing that it happened. We learned so much about ourselves and what we could and couldn't live without and how to live a more fiscally responsible life.

I am not sure what NY unemployment is like, but here in PA you can still collect full unemployment and also work a pt job up to a certain amount before it starts reducing your benefits. The first things DH and I did was find part time work and we worked the max amount each week (worked out to about $250/each per week that we could earn) and still got the full unemployment. By cutting out as much as we could and working the PT jobs (which I hated working retail but we needed the money) our income wasn't too bad. We got lucky and found coverage that wasn't COBRA (which was outrageous).

I was out almost 2 years with a long term temp job in the middle for 7 months which helped keep my skills current. DH was out for 10 months over the same period. Towards the end we sold off our bedroom furniture and had our clothes in suitcases and our mattress on the floor (I never liked the furniture anyway, it was just hard not being able to replace it for almost a year because we needed the money). But you know what.....we made it.

We learned a lot of life lessons over that period. Everyone is replacable in business. Businesses don't really care about their employees. Keep an updated resume. Keep a folder of your job successes to reference. Have savings. Live within your means. Make time for family because work isn't all there is. Save for retirement on your own (outside of what work gives you) because it may not always be there. Network like crazy, you never know what doors may open for you. You will be fine.....I know it You know where to find me if you need anything!

 

[kinntj]

I'm so sorry about the job loss. It is one of the toughest things we have to face living in this economy.

The good news is you are way above the average family financially. It seems like you guys are truly responsible people and I have faith you'll get through this with a little bit of creativity.

My DH lost his job about 12 years ago now and the hardest part was how unsettling it was. Everything up in the air like that was very stressful. We had to move across country for his new job, but now we're back close to family and he loves his work. It worked out even though I would never want to be in that position again.

This experience really taught us a lot. He is on LinkedIn and networks like crazy. We're not on a strict budget, but we live well under our means.

 

[sherry7]

So sorry that this has happened to your family. Unless I'm getting you confused with someone else on this board, I'm pretty sure that your husband and I work for the same company.

 

[huggiebear23]

So sorry that this is happening to your family. My husband is a union rep and has gotten a lot of people their jobs back after grievances and also got back pay. Hopefully that will be the case with you. Good luck, I will say a prayer for you and your family.

 

[lisaross]

bLESS YOUR HUSBAND

So sorry that this is happening to your family. My husband is a union rep and has gotten a lot of people their jobs back after grievances and also got back pay. Hopefully that will be the case with you. Good luck, I will say a prayer for you and your family.

 

[huggiebear23]

Thanks

 

[lisaross]

just a bit of an update....

we did get the unemployment approved - so that is good for now. I have increased my hours at work - husband is doing take out food deliveries a few nights a week for tips and also doing some contracting work...

STILL So stressful...must have lost 10 pounds - my husband too is stressed - he is looking for jobs but no replies - the grievance is set for the end of the month - but i just can't help but thinking what if he does not get his job back, what will we do.....and it must be real stressful for the kids as well..


lisa

 

[richmond282]

You're going to make it, that's what is going to happen. Get through today w/o worrying about tomorrow. I know that's hard to do. Try not to let your stress affect your kids. Let them be kids. I'm sure they are happy and thankful for what they have and are just looking forward to when mom and dad are happy too!

 

[lisaross]

yes we will make it...what other choice do we have..

The kids are older so they know exactly what is going on...they are 12 and 14 - my older son will be starting HS so i know there will be money needed for teams he joins etc and i want him to be on teams and have those experiences.

 

[StephMK]

yes we will make it...what other choice do we have..

The kids are older so they know exactly what is going on...they are 12 and 14 - my older son will be starting HS so i know there will be money needed for teams he joins etc and i want him to be on teams and have those experiences.

I hope it works out for you and there is a quick, positive decision. As far as school, I would look into any scholarships/aid for fees, etc. I know at our schools, they always say not to let finances keep a kid from participating, ask for help if needed.

 

[barkley]

I'm so sorry for your situation, i'll keep my fingers crossed for the union to succeed with his reinstatement (him getting approved for unemployment is a good sign-it shows his employer wasn't successful in showing it to be a justified termination).

a couple of suggestions that helped when we experienced job loss-

1. did your dh commute by car to work or drive the car allot in the course of his work? if so, call your car insurance company and let them know about the job loss-w/us it lowered our premiums b/c our yearly mileage dropped significantly which qualified us for a discount.

2. check with your utility company for any reduced income programs. the one we had at the time had a program that was set up for situations like this and offered a nice discount when we provided proof of our reduced income status.

3. since the union is representing your husband that leads me to believe he's still a union member-check if they offer any discount programs. ours had some we were unaware of through companies (like phone and cell) that we were already doing business with (so it helped drop our bills a bit).

4. hopefully all will be resolved before school starts up again, but just in case it's not-if you traditionally have back to school expenses (supplies, clothing...) start watching the sales and maybe figure out how to scale back a bit. my kids were at an age where while they might have liked a new coat each school year their prior year's fit just fine, and didn't need multiple pairs of new shoes (finally broke the habit of getting them new dress shoes every year when school started-we just waited until an occasion mandated it b/c I got tired of them only getting one or two wearing's before they outgrew them). depending on their ages, it's fascinating if you give them a set amount to spend on school clothes of their choice-they tend to be much more budget conscious if they're looking at one 'super cool' shirt eating up over half the budget

 

[barkley]

yes we will make it...what other choice do we have..

The kids are older so they know exactly what is going on...they are 12 and 14 - my older son will be starting HS so i know there will be money needed for teams he joins etc and i want him to be on teams and have those experiences.

i'll give you a tip that can be used by anyone no matter what their income.

start a file folder for the 14 year old-in it put photocopies of any awards (sports, academic-like honor roll, honor society), and start keeping a list of (1) extra curriculars, (2) volunteering (where, dates, contact person), (3) jobs (even for neighbors). each year of high school start a list for the new school year.

this kind of file will help TREMENDOUSLY when it comes time to apply for scholarships. I'm a records junkie so I had all this when it came time for dd to apply for scholarships-and it really paid off. dd wasn't at the top of her class nor did she participate in sports, and while she didn't get the top dollar amount for her graduating class she did get more single scholarships than anyone else (ranging from $250-$4000 each it really added up). I'm convinced it was because when it came time to fill out the applications she had a 4 years of records that she could pull information from (while many of her classmates simply forgot the time they volunteered a day here or there with different community groups).

 

[Arielle22]

I'm so sorry for your situation, i'll keep my fingers crossed for the union to succeed with his reinstatement (him getting approved for unemployment is a good sign-it shows his employer wasn't successful in showing it to be a justified termination).

Unemployment being granted shows the state either didn't feel the employee knew that the action could get them fired or that it was such an egregious mistake that unemployment should be denied.

People think being granted unemployment means they were in the right and the employer was wrong about the term. That isn't what it means.

 

[SC Minnie]

just a bit of an update....

we did get the unemployment approved - so that is good for now. I have increased my hours at work - husband is doing take out food deliveries a few nights a week for tips and also doing some contracting work...

STILL So stressful...must have lost 10 pounds - my husband too is stressed - he is looking for jobs but no replies - the grievance is set for the end of the month - but i just can't help but thinking what if he does not get his job back, what will we do.....and it must be real stressful for the kids as well..


lisa

OP-- you will make it.

We have been going through this since March 3. It took 3 months for NC unemployment to review his employers dispute-- which ended in DH's favor so he got EU paid from the time he first applied. DD had to take our a student loan for her summer classes. Even though we had put money aside for that we felt like we needed to hold onto as much cash as we could.

DH had a good lead after 2 months then nothing until late June. He has a 2nd interview next week and we are praying he gets this one. It takes a while.

You will get through this.

 

[SC Minnie]

Unemployment being granted shows the state either didn't feel the employee knew that the action could get them fired or that it was such an egregious mistake that unemployment should be denied.

People think being granted unemployment means they were in the right and the employer was wrong about the term. That isn't what it means.

Exactly.

 

[lisaross]

Good LUCk to your husband...hope he gets the job..

OP-- you will make it.

We have been going through this since March 3. It took 3 months for NC unemployment to review his employers dispute-- which ended in DH's favor so he got EU paid from the time he first applied. DD had to take our a student loan for her summer classes. Even though we had put money aside for that we felt like we needed to hold onto as much cash as we could.

DH had a good lead after 2 months then nothing until late June. He has a 2nd interview next week and we are praying he gets this one. It takes a while.

You will get through this.

 

[crisi]

yes we will make it...what other choice do we have..

The kids are older so they know exactly what is going on...they are 12 and 14 - my older son will be starting HS so i know there will be money needed for teams he joins etc and i want him to be on teams and have those experiences.

Find out if you qualify for aid. I suspect it depends on state and district, but one of my daughters friends was a very late surprise baby - her dad is 70(!) and she is 14 - and her Mom is over 60 - both are retired. She qualifies for free lunch and doesn't pay athletic fees for any activities she takes up.

Also, encourage them to make some money this summer - mow lawns, do housework, paint trim, babysit or be a mother's helper (if they were here, I'd give them $50 to pull weeds for me) - whatever odd jobs your neighbors will turn over to a 12 and 14 year old. They CAN help out to pay for the stuff they want. If your neighbors know you are in straightened circumstances, they may look for work to help out the kids.

 

[lisaross]

my boys are in day camp - luckily i had that already paid for, so they are having a great summer. they do babysit my neighbors cats when they go away - my older son will shovel snow in the winter.

Find out if you qualify for aid. I suspect it depends on state and district, but one of my daughters friends was a very late surprise baby - her dad is 70(!) and she is 14 - and her Mom is over 60 - both are retired. She qualifies for free lunch and doesn't pay athletic fees for any activities she takes up.

Also, encourage them to make some money this summer - mow lawns, do housework, paint trim, babysit or be a mother's helper (if they were here, I'd give them $50 to pull weeds for me) - whatever odd jobs your neighbors will turn over to a 12 and 14 year old. They CAN help out to pay for the stuff they want. If your neighbors know you are in straightened circumstances, they may look for work to help out the kids.

 

[puffkin]

Hang in there Lisa!

One thing that always shocks me is that people "hide" that they are unemployed, like it is a dirty secret. Its not, especially in this day and age. I would tell everyone and anyone. They don't need to know all the details, just keep it simple but NETWORK, NETWORK, NETWORK. You never know someone who's cousin's uncle's best friend might be looking for someone with that exact skill set!

When both my husband and I were laid off, we got multiple interviews through networking. That is actually how I ended up with my last job, a friend referred me to an accounting recruiter and he placed me in a position he had open. My husband also found PT work through a friend of a friend until his old job called him back. We had a close friend that I actually placed at a company just a few months ago. I knew they were looking and I had my friend get in contact with an old co-worker I knew there who was able to get his resume in the right hands.

Good luck and stay strong. It sounds like you guy are still doing everything right at this point.....sometimes just the waiting and uncertainty is the hardest part.