Humiliated at AKL

[jvalic33]

Today I was absolutely humiliated at Animal Kingdom Lodge. To start, I suffer from Panic Disorder. It started about 3 years ago, where I can get panic attacks for no reason, or other things can trigger them. Thursday afternoon the kids got off the bus and we drove 18 hours straight to Disney. We did this to gain an extra day at there. Along with my wife and two kids is my mother in law and father. Going into the trip my biggest fear was my father and mother in law to witness one of my panic attacks. Or have one in public.

Completely exhausted we get to the front desk to check in around 10:30am. The clerk at the front desk offered to try and get the room prepared early for us, so we went to the pool to wait. About 5 hours goes by and it's now 3pm and it's still not ready. So we figure we will immediately wait list Boma at 5, eat dinner, then head to Epcot. So my wife leaves to head to the grocery store since we have a 2BR and assumed the room would absolutely be ready by 4. It's a bummer that we didn't get to go to the parks in the morning since we waited at the pool all day, but it is what it is. Can't really get mad about not getting in early.

So we go to the front desk, and they say the room is ready, and just need a manager to sign off on it. Wife arrives with ice cream and other frozen items... No where to put them. But clearly the manager must be rushing to approve our room, so we wait.... 35 minutes. Again we go to the front desk, at this point I am enraged. No managers anywhere to be found. I asked for a single name, they couldn't give me one. It's possible the room was ready at 11am and we were just waiting on the manager all day. We offered to waive the approval and take the room in as is condition. It's now 4:45, children freezing in their bathing suits, a 75 year old father that had been up over 40 hours straight. Boom, massive panic attack. In the middle of the lobby, right in front of my wife, kids, father, and mother in law. And dozens of other people. I collapsed on the ground crying and shaking, then when I felt the possibility of vomit coming I ran outside and continued to have my panic attack on the balcony in front of the elevators. Finally at 5pm the room is ready and after 15 minutes and shaking and crying in front of people, covered in snot, we make our way to our room. And guess what, door wont open. So I continue to cry in the hallway as people walk by for about 5-10 minutes as we wait for them to unlock it.

So it's about 5:20.... We miss our Boma reservation and requeue us. As I write this, it's now 7pm and the wait is estimated at 30 minutes. My entire family is starving since we have withheld eating all because of Boma at 5. My father loves Boma but can't stay awake anymore. It's too late to go to the parks. This entire day is destroyed, hopefully not the trip.

I have never been more humiliated in my life. I don't want to this to sound bad. But as a 42 year old man, the last people on earth you want to see you hysterically crying is your father and the mother of the woman you married. I'm front of my kids is hard as well. But to be laying on the floor shaking and crying in a crowded lobby. To make things worse, Animal Kingdom Lobby is one of my most favorite places in Disney. Especially during Christmas. But for anyone that suffers from panic attacks will know, I am scared that this lobby will now start triggering them.

We have a family that hasn't eaten in 11 hours. I just updated the app and my wait for a Boma table went from 35 to 55 minutes! Good thing we have up.. How different the day would have been if they just allowed us in our room before 5:15... Just wanted to vent for my own mental health. I imagine the cause is likely due to staff shortages. Gotta get that stock price higher!

Every suffering in life is an opportunity to grow as a person. The people who truly love you will never judge you for this. Smile, and recognize that your panic disorder has probably endowed you with tremendous compassion for others, including your wife and children and in laws.

Your honesty and openness come right through in your words and humility is a really great gift.

Think of this as another struggle in life that will grace you with some wonderful lessons. Don't put so much pressure on yourselves.

I work very hard and have a large family and sometimes I get caught up too in wanting my trip to be perfect, but the most perfect trip is anytime I get to be with my family, even if it is waiting by the pool and starving.

You'll look back on this as one of the most prominent memories, but you'll be able to laugh about it one day and it won't be so bad.

As a mother, I don't remember the events in my children's lives that were perfect, I remember when they puked on me at midnight on my birthday, realized the time and at 12:01am said happy birthday Mama...

I will say a prayer for you and your family that you have the best Disney trip EVER! It can only get better from here!

 

[focusondisney]

Where Disney messed up hard was allowing me to have a public panic attack for 30 minutes. Ignoring everything that lead up to this point it's insane that it takes a manager an hour+ to "approve" my room. You would think that in my state the priority would have been moved up, but guess not.

None if this is Disney’s fault. I highly doubt the desk CMs knew what to make of a grown man lieing in the floor crying. Do you think they have psychological training to recognize this as a severe panic disorder?? I wouldn’t recognize it as one. They could have called security to remove you, would that have made it better? Did your wife ask them for medical assistance?? If you were unable to take care of yourself, your wife should have been advocating for you. Were the CMs supposed to just know getting you into a room would solve all your issues??

I hope for your family’s sake you continue to seek help. But in the meantime, make a plan with your wife on removing yourself from situations before they get to this point. And what she can do to help you & regain control in these situations.

 

[loves to dive]

Where Disney messed up hard was allowing me to have a public panic attack for 30 minutes. Ignoring everything that lead up to this point it's insane that it takes a manager an hour+ to "approve" my room. You would think that in my state the priority would have been moved up, but guess not.

I'm so sorry this happened to you but I have a few questions. How did Disney "allow" you to have public panic attack? Should they have removed you? At the point you were in the midst of the attack, did anyone actually tell a Disney employee you were having a panic attack and the reason why? I'm sure they don't see grown men on the floor crying often but they do witness a number of things over the course of a day and are not mind readers. Another question is what was your family doing during this attack? Wouldn't it have been up to one of them to help you and not a total stranger working a front desk at a hotel? Is your wife not aware of your problem? Were there outward warning signs leading up to the final breakdown that someone who knows you well would have noticed and could have done something to help?

I know nothing about this subject as I don't have panic attacks, my son does have PTSD so does over react to innocent situations more strongly than others. I tend to try to calmly talk him down and gently lead him elsewhere so we can discuss the situation (he's a grown man and much larger than me so sometimes it's not easy). Frankly, with him, more often than not I just go into Mama mode and ask him if he needs me to buy him some worms to eat, humor often helps.

 

[pigletto]

None if this is Disney’s fault. I highly doubt the desk CMs knew what to make of a grown man lieing in the floor crying. Do you think they have psychological training to recognize this as a severe panic disorder?? I wouldn’t recognize it as one. They could have called security to remove you, would that have made it better? Did your wife ask them for medical assistance?? If you were unable to take care of yourself, your wife should have been advocating for you. Were the CMs supposed to just know getting you into a room would solve all your issues??

I hope for your family’s sake you continue to seek help. But in the meantime, make a plan with your wife on removing yourself from situations before they get to this point. And what she can do to help you & regain control in these situations.

Disney did not cause his severe panic reaction but the whole situation and complete lack of customer service should have been addressed. He was trying to manage his own mental health and there was nowhere he could go. It’s not like he walked up and demanded a room . This went on for hours with virtually no communication from them . He didn’t even say it was Disneys fault for that matter.

And if the staff doesn’t know what to make of grown man lying on the floor crying they could use some training because it starts with empathy and concern. It’s a legitimate medical issue so IMO it’s ridiculous to treat this man like he had a tantrum. If he fallen to the floor having a heart attack would your advice be to buck up and eat better ? Of course not.

OP I’m sorry that happened. I am very familiar with panic disorder and the terrifying feelings that go with it. Mine is managed with medication because its in very specific instances that I can predict (flying) and it largely silent ( though I did hyperventilate once). Don’t be embarrassed. It’s a physical fight or flight reaction that escalates over time. Read the science behind panic attacks . I found that immensely helpful to realize it was a physical and chemical reaction and not a choice or character flaw. And maybe use this as an opportunity to really explain the disorder to your in laws. I have a feeling that could really help. Regardless , I hope you are able to put it behind you and have a wonderful time .

 

[Dakota731]

Move on and don’t dwell on the past. We all learn something from our biggest melt downs. Next time you will know to maybe stay overnight on the way and keep regular meal and bedtimes as not to become stressed and tired which can trigger an attack. Enjoy the rest of your trip!!

 

[focusondisney]

. He was trying to manage his own mental health and there was nowhere he could go.

I disagree. He was in the lobby of a hotel. He could certainly have gone outside, taken a walk, found a quiet place. I have not been to AKL, but from what I know, there are outside viewing areas. Maybe taking a walk to one of those would have helped. Staying in the situation, stress increasing, probably low blood sugar from not eating, tired from a long car ride….I don’t really consider that “managing his own mental health”. But of course, blame Disney customer service after the fact.

 

[Bianca and Bernard]

And if the staff doesn’t know what to make of grown man lying on the floor crying they could use some training because it starts with empathy and concern. It’s a legitimate medical issue so IMO it’s ridiculous to treat this man like he had a tantrum. If he fallen to the floor having a heart attack would your advice be to buck up and eat better ? Of course not.

Did the people at the hotel know this was a panic attack? Did anyone explain the situation to the hotel workers? Did his family try to aid and intervene? We don't know, because we weren't there, and can only go off what OP writes. But if no one is told what the situation is, they can't help.

I have worked in retail and restaurants for decades, and I need more than 2 hands and 2 feet to count how many people have thrown tantrums in businesses where I've worked, including sobbing on the floor, screaming, tearing at their own hair, to name a few. Not panic attacks...these are tantrums because they were told no, couldn't get their way, were asked for an ID for alcohol or tobacco purchases, caught stealing, etc etc.

 

[FCDub]

I'm sorry this happened to you. Hope the rest of your trip is better.

 

[Pickles516]

Disney did not cause his severe panic reaction but the whole situation and complete lack of customer service should have been addressed. He was trying to manage his own mental health and there was nowhere he could go. It’s not like he walked up and demanded a room . This went on for hours with virtually no communication from them . He didn’t even say it was Disneys fault for that matter.

And if the staff doesn’t know what to make of grown man lying on the floor crying they could use some training because it starts with empathy and concern. It’s a legitimate medical issue so IMO it’s ridiculous to treat this man like he had a tantrum. If he fallen to the floor having a heart attack would your advice be to buck up and eat better ? Of course not.

OP I’m sorry that happened. I am very familiar with panic disorder and the terrifying feelings that go with it. Mine is managed with medication because its in very specific instances that I can predict (flying) and it largely silent ( though I did hyperventilate once). Don’t be embarrassed. It’s a physical fight or flight reaction that escalates over time. Read the science behind panic attacks . I found that immensely helpful to realize it was a physical and chemical reaction and not a choice or character flaw. And maybe use this as an opportunity to really explain the disorder to your in laws. I have a feeling that could really help. Regardless , I hope you are able to put it behind you and have a wonderful time .

While I share your concern and empathy for OP, I also see it from the CM’s viewpoint. Managing a mental health crisis is not in their training, and I don’t know if it’s reasonable to expect it to be. This could look to them like someone having a wild tantrum, which does indeed happen. There are many places where OP would’ve been forcibly removed by security or police for the exact same event. I can’t really blame a hotel clerk for not knowing how to handle a significant mental health crisis. Heck, people have been killed while suffering similar events by people who have far more training than a hotel clerk. I feel compassion for OP, but I feel compassion for the CM’s as well as managing a mental health crisis is well outside the scope of their job.

 

[pigletto]

I guess I will have to disagree with you all that sobbing on the ground wasn’t reason to suspect a mental health crisis. While I don’t doubt people throw actual tantrums all the time , I don’t think it would take much to approach this from a place of empathy. I’m not saying anything other than “hey can we get you some help ? Are you alright ?” as a response. I think it’s completely overblown to suggest since people have been killed for trying to help someone who’s having a mental break that they should have ignored this situation. How trained do you need to be empathetic ? Express concern ? That’s all I expect.
I guess we will have to agree to disagree here.

 

[cruisin5]

I truly hope you can look back at this and consider what you could have done differently to possibly avoid the attack. It was a whole series of not great decisions and circumstances beyond your control which led to the situation. You can't change what Disney "did" but you can change your reaction to it.

The room ready time is often a source of frustration. In hindsight, changing in the bathrooms at 4:30 to get ready for dinner and hoping the room would be ready afterwards would have been a good option.

Don't be too hard on yourself. You are not responsible for making everyone's trip perfect.

Enjoy the rest of your trip, the time with your family and making memories.

 

[bsmcneil]

Don't get me wrong, it's not lost on me that it isn't Disney's fault that I get panic attacks. I even stated in the original post that I wasnt even mad we didn't get into the room before 4, that is expected. But the person at the front desk said they would try to get it ready early and to hang out at the pool. Where Disney messed up hard was allowing me to have a public panic attack for 30 minutes. Ignoring everything that lead up to this point it's insane that it takes a manager an hour+ to "approve" my room. You would think that in my state the priority would have been moved up, but guess not. As far as Boma goes, is it normal for your family to eat right before a buffet? We usually try to go as hungry as possible. We would had no problem making the meal had we got in our room before 5pm. But I should have foreseen that and had the whole family eat at 3 prior to Boma.

Yes my decisions led to things that got me upset, but every decision was based off horrible decisions or information provided by Disney. Could I have ignored the front desk person and went straight to the parks? Yup, but I trusted him. At 4pm when I was told a manager was going to approve it, we could have put the groceries in the freezer, but we didn't realize we were lied to. When our room was finally open at 5, I should have realized there was a chance that the door wouldn't open and cause us to miss our meal time. My fault for not eating at 3pm in preparation of our buffet and believing I would be in my room before 5:15. I think I need a life coach to help with decisions because clearly I am incompetent.

I think you made reasonable decisions given the info you had in front of you. It's incredibly easy (perhaps the easiest thing in the world to do) to sit on an internet message board and play backup quarterback and people like that drive me crazy (which is why I'm delighted my 8 and 5 year old demonstrate more understanding and sympathy/empathy, depending on the issue. As some others have said - hopefully you get a good night rest and things can turn around. Does it feel like something you can briefly address with the in-laws, just in a - yesterday was hard/thanks for your patience - sort of way? Or does that feel too ___ (I could list the words but don't want to double down)? Hopefully tomorrow, each of you can get a favorite snack and use it as a time to breathe deep, relax your shoulders, and move forward. Hope things go better and feel better soon!

 

[bsmcneil]

None if this is Disney’s fault. I highly doubt the desk CMs knew what to make of a grown man lieing in the floor crying. Do you think they have psychological training to recognize this as a severe panic disorder?? I wouldn’t recognize it as one. They could have called security to remove you, would that have made it better? Did your wife ask them for medical assistance?? If you were unable to take care of yourself, your wife should have been advocating for you. Were the CMs supposed to just know getting you into a room would solve all your issues??

I hope for your family’s sake you continue to seek help. But in the meantime, make a plan with your wife on removing yourself from situations before they get to this point. And what she can do to help you & regain control in these situations.

In some situations, they could have made a private space possible (even if not their room). It doesn't matter the age or sex/gender of who is having a problem, help is help (and I don't know about OP but your post is far from helpful but I suspect you already know that - you must/can't possibly be that devoid of awareness).

 

[bsmcneil]

For many of the folks above, they talk about mental health in such a weird and detached way. Mental health isn't a different form of health only some people need to manage - we all have mental health. If someone was vomiting for thirty minutes in the lobby, I can assure you that a CM could have (and I believe, should have) asked the person and their companions of they could use some private space or some help. Crying, in this situation, is simply a physical manifestation of the something not working ideally in the body (no different than vomiting would be). But because of a host of socialization stuff, people are going to project a ton of crap everywhere and for that reason alone, I feel even worse for the OP and frankly would discourage you from reading this thread. At no point in the original post was the person decrying Disney's lack of customer service for things that the guest controlled. Of course it stinks that a front-line person keeps saying the room is ready but a manager needs to sign off, only to never have a manager around. That stinks for any/every-body, regardless of how we can deal with it.

 

[cruisin5]

In some situations, they could have made a private space possible (even if not their room). It doesn't matter the age or sex/gender of who is having a problem, help is help (and I don't know about OP but your post is far from helpful but I suspect you already know that - you must/can't possibly be that devoid of awareness).

What kind of private space? It's a fully booked hotel.

I highly doubt anyone working in the lobby is trained to handle a mental health episode and am sort of surprised EMS wasn't called. AND his family was there, which I would assume to be the first line of assistance.

 

[Starport Seven-Five]

Today I was absolutely humiliated at Animal Kingdom Lodge. To start, I suffer from Panic Disorder. It started about 3 years ago, where I can get panic attacks for no reason, or other things can trigger them. Thursday afternoon the kids got off the bus and we drove 18 hours straight to Disney. We did this to gain an extra day at there. Along with my wife and two kids is my mother in law and father. Going into the trip my biggest fear was my father and mother in law to witness one of my panic attacks. Or have one in public.

We rotated 3 drivers, only my father couldn't sleep. He was awake 40 hours at the point we finally got in our room and waited to get into Boma.

Hindsight is 20/20 but I hope you reconsider a travel schedule like this in the future. A day at Disney is not worth putting yourself through a 18 hour straight through drive, never mind your elderly in-laws.

 

[focusondisney]

What kind of private space? It's a fully booked hotel.

I highly doubt anyone working in the lobby is trained to handle a mental health episode and am sort of surprised EMS wasn't called. AND his family was there, which I would assume to be the first line of assistance.

Agree. The OP hasn’t indicated what his wife did during this episode. Did she try to get him help? The OP was not an unaccompanied individual. If his wife asked for help & was turned down, that would be Disney’s fault. But if she was standing & other family were doing nothing, how was the staff supposed to know the OP was having a medical issue & needed help?? I am surprised EMTs or security weren’t called too if it really was that big of a scene. But like that might have made the OP even more upset after the fact, if they had called out a whole EMT crew.

 

[pigletto]

What kind of private space? It's a fully booked hotel.

I highly doubt anyone working in the lobby is trained to handle a mental health episode and am sort of surprised EMS wasn't called. AND his family was there, which I would assume to be the first line of assistance.

So by this logic if someone has an allergic reaction in the lobby they should also be ignored because the staff isn’t trained ? Again , offering to call EMS or bring some water , or help in some way doesn’t require extensive training. And if we can’t recognize that mental health is as legitimate of a concern and medical episode people will continue to act like it’s a character defect.

 

[cruisin5]

So by this logic if someone has an allergic reaction in the lobby they should also be ignored because the staff isn’t trained ?

Well, if they don't know what an allergic reaction looks like then .... yes.

Again, I'm surprised EMS wasn't called OR the family didn't see assistance.

 

[focusondisney]

So by this logic if someone has an allergic reaction in the lobby they should also be ignored because the staff isn’t trained ? Again , offering to call EMS or bring some water , or help in some way doesn’t require extensive training. And if we can’t recognize that mental health is as legitimate of a concern and medical episode people will continue to act like it’s a character defect.

If someone was having an allergic reaction, or a heart attack as another poster said, I assure you the family would have been screaming for help, letting staff know help was needed. That’s why we wonder what his wife was doing. If this was a serious medical situation, she should have been asking for help. If she wasn’t treating it as such, it’s unrealistic to think total strangers, busy doing their jobs, should.