Hugs please!!!

[rie'smom]

My niece who we pick up from school almost daily and transport to tutoring had a party tonight,invited half the 7th grade and did not invite my DD who is also in the 7th grade.
All I can figure is I'm taking DD to WDW @ Thanksgiving and she invited a friend. The niece wanted to come but there's no way I can watch 3 almost teenagers by myself. I might as well say @ this point that the # 1 reason I wouldn't invite her is because she would try to exclude my DD and the 2nd she might try to sneak out of the room. However,I did talk to her mom and said I would hold a room for them. It could be a sort of mother/daughter trip. Well the mom said she was too busy-she's a decorator. The niece is not a happy camper. She planned the party the day after her mom said that they couldn't go on the trip. Is it me or does the timing seem kind of suspicious? My DD has never excluded my niece from a party.

And I know some are probably thinking why on earth would I want my DD to be with her anyway-alot of the kids who are going are nice kids.

Anyway, it's heartbreaking to see your sweet child upset and I know it won't be the last time
Oh and I'm more than furious w/the mom also,of course,my niece.I thought that there was no way that she knew my DD wasn't invited.So,today I went to her shop thinking she would ask if my DD was excited about the party-she didn't. I thought this was peculiar,so I asked if they were doing anything special this weekend. She doesn't say anything for a minute and then she says that tomorrow she's going to get fabric samples. Now,of course,I know that she knows that my DD was excluded.

So,you know what,I'm tired of turning the other cheek with this group(long history).I am going to inform the mom that I can no longer pick up her DD from school.

 

[pinkgalYall]

Sorry to here that.Gosh if she invited a lot of hott guys i would be upset also.

 

[TimeforMe]

First of all, to you and dd. It sounds as if the party is being used to assuage your sister in law's guilt over her kid not being able to go to Disney. I think your instincts are probably right; especially since she went out of her way NOT to mention the party. Argh!

Before you stop picking up your niece, however, I would talk to her mom and let her know how hurt both you and your DD were for being excluded and ask the reason why. Good luck.

 

[beckmrk04]

Before you stop picking up your niece, however, I would talk to her mom and let her know how hurt both you and your DD were for being excluded and ask the reason why. Good luck.

I agree with this. Better to air it out than let it fester. Plus, you don't want a feud to come between your dd and the niece, because girls that age are cruel.

 

[SwedishMeatball]

I'm sorry she excluded your daughter. It was your decision though and it's not fair for her to penalize your daughter. Sort of typical teenage girl behavior though. Hey, I even know grown women that can act so petty over hurt feelings. I would have a word or three for your sil.

 

[rie'smom]

I agree with this. Better to air it out than let it fester. Plus, you don't want a feud to come between your dd and the niece, because girls that age are cruel.

If these were normal people,I would do just that. However,if I say anything about the party,DN will make my DD's life hell at school.Damned if I do and damned if I don't.

 

[beckmrk04]

If these were normal people,I would do just that. However,if I say anything about the party,DN will make my DD's life hell at school.Damned if I do and damned if I don't.

Ugh. That's too bad. I remember how hard that age was.

for your DD- let her know that it DOES get better.

 

[Maryr1]

So sorry! These family things are always so difficult. I wouldn't say a word to anyone (DD included) but as of today I would be "unavailable"to transport/watch /help out with DN. That way you stay above the fray,but don't get used. They can't say anything about you as you never created any drama! Good luck and give your DD an extra hug tonight!

 

[rie'smom]

Thanks everybody. I've given mybaby about a zillion hugs today and I have about 50 zillion more in waiting!

 

[Disney Doll]

It would suddenly become very inconvenient for me to transport Niece to school, but I wouldn't say a peep about the party.

Shame on the mother for allowing this behavior. You would do well to le DD have as little interaction as possible with this kid. She sounds like bad news. I know she's a relative, but you don't have to be in each other's pockets just because you're related, right?

 

[Erie Islands]

You made the right decision not to take 3 teenagers...a group of 3 almost never works! Someone would most definitely be left out. In the end you win because you still get to take your trip. As for your daughter, not all relatives are meant to be "friends".

 

[JR6ooo4]

It does seem spiteful. But don't play games, like asking "are you doing anything exciting this weekend?" Be honest and just ask if there is reason.

Mikeeee

 

[marsha123]

i would stat away from niece and sister.she is using you. niece is someone i would not my kid around

 

[disykat]

I would also not mention anything, and become unavailable to help. It's not called game playing it's called logical consequences IMO. Why should you put yourself out to help someone who is upsetting you and your daughter? Hopefully you can move on to establish a more comfortable relationship where you can be friendly, but not have you being walked all over!


You offered to include them on the trip. The mother (I'm still confused - is this your sister?) turned it down. Why is the daughter punishing your daughter and why is the mom allowing it?

 

[rie'smom]

I would also not mention anything, and become unavailable to help. It's not called game playing it's called logical consequences IMO. Why should you put yourself out to help someone who is upsetting you and your daughter? Hopefully you can move on to establish a more comfortable relationship where you can be friendly, but not have you being walked all over!


You offered to include them on the trip. The mother (I'm still confused - is this your sister?) turned it down. Why is the daughter punishing your daughter and why is the mom allowing it?

She is BIL's stepdaughter.

 

[shortbun]

I'd say that giving your neice a ride from school every day should have put your daughter on the guest list. I would not mention the party. Is there a school bus the dear sweet girl can ride? Is your daughter going to tutoring too? How obvious will it be? You are being used by this mother-daughter team. Find a smooth way to stop it.

 

[arielsleepingbeauty]

I am so sorry that your daughter was excluded. Girls are cruel enough without a mom also going along with it. The mom should want her daughtger to be raised with good standards and if the daughter was so horrible, the mom should of at least called you to talk about it. It's terrible to see our children hurt and left out.
There is no way that I would ever transport a child that treated my child like that. Really, i do hope that her mom would see your reasoning for not doing it. There isn't even an explanation needed. She clearly is just as bad as her daughter. She lied to your face. Don't be walked over. Stand up, if not for yourself, do it for your daughter.
The mom needs to take time out of her busy schedule to spend with her own daughter. It looks like she hasn't done such a bang up job of it anyway. Transporting her from school to tutoring can give her at least some time with her daughter.

 

[Serena]

I'm so sorry.

 

[Mermaid02]

I take it this is the straw that broke the camels back? I wouldn't mention the party either, but I would also no longer be used by these people. No more rides etc. Toxic people are toxic people, family or not.

 

[clh2]

As for your daughter, not all relatives are meant to be "friends".

Oh, this is so true.