Hucifer's recipe for disaster

[hucifer]

Love the Oregon Trail reference. Hope you guys don't die of measles, cholera, or dysentery or a thief steals all your oxen on the way down to Disney!

I can't believe you failed on 4 travel agents and had to do it yourself! Glad you have now joined the AAA cult (they will bring you a fresh oxen if yours dies on the road.)

Jill in CO

Why...thank you, ma'am. [tips hat]

Yes! I love being a AAA member. It's already paid for itself and then some, and I haven't even used it for its intended purposes yet. (My oxen is still under warranty.)

 

[englishrose47]

Why...thank you, ma'am. [tips hat]

Yes! I love being a AAA member. It's already paid for itself and then some, and I haven't even used it for its intended purposes yet. (My oxen is still under warranty.)

My oxen tends to need AAA care quite frequently, 2 slashed tires , dead batteries , etc etc . Combined with the Trp Toks and maps I get it is a great deal, plus all the places that give youa discount

 

[hucifer]

I, for one, welcome our new computer overlords.

You sir, can keep them.

Silly Hucifer, thinking it was the campgrounds that got her fired by a travel agency. I suggest you go back and look over that list of turn-ons you attached.

What's wrong with furries and mud baths? Should I have kept those to myself?

Oh yes, I remember Abscam.

I don't. I was WAAAAAAAAY too young to remember something like that. But you can tell me all about them!
[flops on bed, head on palms, feet kicking behind me]

I'm picturing Sally Field phone-interviewing potential housekeepers.
"Well Helloooo Deeear."

No need to list your turn-ons on MY thread.

See, toldja. The list of turn-ons did you in.

Did that damn agency share my personal information with the rest of them?

"Ay-yup!" Hey, how'd Goofy get there?

[shrugs]
Technology.

Imagine the odds of getting a membership number that contains all of the digits in numerical order! What a Magical day for you!

And it's so easy to remember!

And he's only 6.

Math is hard.
(Did you notice the "and two weeks"? That's how long I dealt with bad TAs.)

Well, thank goodness it wasn’t something unpleasant.

Like this thread.

Nice….you’re good you

I don't mean to brag, but...yes.

Hmmmm, not exactly the king’s english…..but I guess it does the trick

So you're suggesting less caveman next time?

Made me snort….in a good way.

I will take that compliment while steering clear of your computer screen.

You strike me as the “I’m gonna need to talk to your supervisor” type

Naw, I'm a pussycat. Until you screw me over.

Not really exuding a “low maintenance” vibe….but let’s see how it plays out

I'm the worst kind. I'm high maintenance but I think I'm low maintenance.

See…..you scared em off....that’s what I was afraid of

Well, I just want it the way I want it.

Whoops…..that's an awful lot of caps there. I smell another “that agent is no longer working with us” coming on.

Are you some sort of psychic? Couldn't you have warned me about this earlier?

Please, stop with the mumbling. You know how I feel about the mumbling.

It would make his next moves a lot less surprising.
(Yes, I recognize your Tangled quote. Mama approves.)

That’s amazing! That’s the same combination I have on my luggage.

A Spaceballs throwback?

Enjoying the Banter

It's all for you, Rosie baby. All for you.
[curtseys]

 

[hucifer]

My oxen tends to need AAA care quite frequently, 2 slashed tires , dead batteries , etc etc . Combined with the Trp Toks and maps I get it is a great deal, plus all the places that give youa discount

Through all my discounts so far (and it's only been a few months), it's already paid for itself. I guess I should be thanking that lame-@ss travel agent for her tip.

 

[hucifer]

It’s late. Your post is long. I skimmed. This is what I got:

Someone asked you about turn-ons.

You took matters into your own hands.

Someone else is taking your “business” pretty seriously and is all over you.

You approach Dan with your hands over your head which elicits an “I’ll torture you” remark.

I think that’s everything I got from it.

Oh yeah and I think there was something about a travel agent named Google or something like that.

Lou

No, that pretty much sums it up. There's nothing perverted at all with what you highlighted.

Seriously, this would be a whole lot easier if you screwed your pride and just came back to the Disboards and posted here yourself.

 

[englishrose47]

Through all my discounts so far (and it's only been a few months), it's already paid for itself. I guess I should be thanking that lame-@ss travel agent for her tip.

Oh hucifer you discovered how not to get****

 

[glennbo123]

No need to list your turn-ons on MY thread.

Hey, someone's got to liven this thing up!

 

[GreatBiscuit]

I take this a sign that you need to open a Travel Agency that caters to AAA members staying at FW. Granted it's a niche market but hey, it fills a need. You might even make enough cash to buy one of those tree shaped air fresheners for the camper. (Well, you could put one on layaway at least.)

 

[Peter Panic Attack]

So you're suggesting less caveman next time?

Less traditional caveman.....more amish caveman.

I will take that compliment while steering clear of your computer screen.

I've had a sneeze guard installed. It is flu season afterall.

A Spaceballs throwback?

Not my proudest moment.....but yes

 

[englishrose47]

I take this a sign that you need to open a Travel Agency that caters to AAA members staying at FW. Granted it's a niche market but hey, it fills a need. You might even make enough cash to buy one of those tree shaped air fresheners for the camper. (Well, you could put one on layaway at least.)

I think her Agency should be for over 55 as well then it could be could be AAARP!!!!

 

[hucifer]

Oh hucifer you discovered how not to get****

I know how to get around the censors.

Hey, someone's got to liven this thing up!

So glad you're hear, then.

I take this a sign that you need to open a Travel Agency that caters to AAA members staying at FW. Granted it's a niche market but hey, it fills a need. You might even make enough cash to buy one of those tree shaped air fresheners for the camper. (Well, you could put one on layaway at least.)

I would get, what? Three customers a year? I'm IN.

Less traditional caveman.....more amish caveman.

You get some SERIOUS brownie points for referencing my old TRs.

I've had a sneeze guard installed. It is flu season afterall.

I smell entrepreneur potential!

Not my proudest moment.....but yes

Spaceballs quotes are welcome here.

I think her Agency should be for over 55 as well then it could be could be AAARP!!!!

Well done, Rose. Well done.

 

[hucifer]

The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.
– George Carlin



You’ve read this far. It might be time to meet the peeps. We’re a tiny little family, but we’re bursting with character…and different ideas about a fun vacation.

It’s been four and a half years since my last confess--er, trip report. Well, I mean I took the trip in 2009, but the trip report ended in 2010, so technically it’s been three years since I last posted.

Anyway, my point is that things have changed since then.


Me
I’m not a strict vegetarian, I eat beef and pork. And chicken. But not fish because that’s disgusting.
--Jim Gaffigan

Don't ask about the chains.​

They say that the one thing that’s constant is change. I’m 43, but still learning and growing every year. Well, not growing physically. In fact, I’ve replaced my trusty ol’ treadmill with P90x and Insanity and discovered that I can get into shape a whole lot faster with them than I can walking in place for an hour. So, actually, I’ve lost a bit of weight since my last trip, thanks to the genius of Tony Horton and Sean T. But that’s not really what I’m driving at.

I’ve grown spiritually. I was an atheist for twenty years. But last May I was baptized (or, as Patrick called it at the time, “appetized”) in front of my family and friends and a whole auditorium of strangers. Patrick was there to witness, which was only fitting since he was the reason that I was brought back to God. After his conception, I began to question everything. It was a long, slow, deliberate path back to Christ. It took me a long time to realize that Patrick was a gift from God. And now my faith is so much stronger than my atheism ever could have been.

I’ve also expanded my pallet. I was a vegetarian for ten years. But now I eat

THIS​

And lots of it. Chicken, pork, beef, turkey, fish, and lamb. Grilled, baked, roasted, smoked, cured, and fried. You name it. I eat it. If it flaps, it’s food. If it moos, it’s mine. I can’t get enough of that animal flesh, probably because I deprived myself for so long. One of my favorite things on the planet is our smoker. In fact, one of my best recipes (besides bad trip planning) is pulled pork. I make a mean dry rub.

For those of you that need smelling salts, let me explain. No, there is no time. Let me sum up. I went veg because I thought it was the healthiest thing for me. Now I read that grains and carbohydrates aren’t as awesome as I once thought. I ditched the veggie burgers with fifteen ingredients and replaced them with grass-fed, locally grown beef burgers (with avocado but without the bun). Can’t say I miss the veggie burgers all that much. Oh meat, how I’ve missed you.

[kisses and gropes chicken breast]

On a somewhat related note, I have a lot of used vegetarian cookbooks for sale. Cheap.

To celebrate my road to Christ (which is now lined with charred and smoked flesh), I think I ought to plan a trip to Disney. Seems like the most logical next step, don’t you think?


Dan
I gotta quit smoking, doctor's orders. And the drinking, court orders.
--Dave Attell

You're not writing bad things about me in a public forum, are you?​

This man smoked for 24 years. I have spent countless years holding my breath while kissing him. I have rolled my eyes countless times whenever he came home with another carton of cigarettes. I have sighed countless breaths at every smoking section in every public setting. But two years ago, he gave it up for good. Patrick inspired him to quit…Dan realized that he wanted to be around to see his son grow up. Although I’m known to be quite critical of prescription medication, Chantix has become my all-time favorite drug. All hail.

Around that time when he threw away his final carton of coffin nails, he also managed to get his bachelor’s degree.

WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE.

Yes, you read that right. The man earned a whole degree and I never knew. I mean, I realize now that all the warning signs were there. I probably should have been a little suspicious when he left us for four years. “I’ll be home for dinner sometime in 2012.” Actually he did it all online at work (which was funded by work). One day during dinner he says all casually, “Oh hey, I finished the Vandelay report. And I also got my bachelor’s degree today.” I almost choked on my charred chicken bone and managed to squeak out, “Whoa, back up. Beep beep beep. You finished the Vandelay report?”

Something else you should know. The man spends hours—I mean HOURS—alone in the garage with his new truck. The one he never wanted to buy. He’s done a lot of work to it, yes, but I know there’s only so much work a man can do to a vehicle. I began to get suspicious when he would come in the house, a sly smile playing on his lips and his crotch reeking like exhaust. Trying to catch him in the act, I will suddenly throw open the garage door and ask him what he’s doing. He’ll have a beer and a guilty look every time. I never thought the man was capable of infidelity until he met this Dodge Ram. I swear that truck has been violated something awful. Sometimes when he comes in after hours in the garage I’ll say, “Have you been humping your vehicle again?” I get an innocent look and a “Whaaaaaat?” Then he’ll mutter something about crazy talk.

Stop talking about my truck, woman.​

One time I sent Patrick out there to ask him if he was done kissing his truck because dinner was ready.

Yes, I use my son as a weapon. Bad mommy.

Unfortunately, tragedy struck Dan’s family last year. His father passed away in February 2012 from a stroke. Dan was overwhelmed with grief. Alex was his best friend. But the devastation to his mother was even more apparent. She lost her lifelong companion of 54 years and the pain of losing him was too much for her. She died of a broken heart one year after losing her husband. Almost a year to the day. We buried her in February 2013. Dan has been struggling to learn to live without both of his parents.

Patrick's letter to Grandma.​

I figure the best way to cheer him up is a Disney vacation.


Patrick
Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit.
--Bill Cosby

Our peanut.

Sup?



Fear the camouflaged six-year-old.​

Ah, our boy Patrick. The boy who inspired me to become a Christian and for Dan to quit his lifelong smoking habit. He came along after six years of infertility. From the womb I could tell he was a character; if he was even slightly uncomfortable in there, I got a nice punch in the ribs. At six weeks old he started screaming. I think it stopped a month and a half later. When he was two I caught him with his index finger in mouth.
Patrick: Mmmmmm.
Me: What’s so yummy?
Patrick: [removes finger] Booger.

When he was three and at airport security for the first time, he didn’t just stop at his coat and shoes. He was taking off his pants and underwear too. Dan and I just barely saved him from getting his first Indecent Exposure infraction.

At four, he had this to say about Dan’s large lesbian sister:
Patrick: Aunt Donna is a boy.
Dan: No, Aunt Donna is a girl.
Patrick: No, she’s a boy.
Dan: No, Patrick, I’m telling you. She’s a girl.
Patrick: [getting impatient] A Boy!
Dan: [turning red and talking through clenched teeth] SHE’S. A. GIRL.
Patrick: Nope. You’re wrong.

(By the way, this same large lesbian sister was on the recently-aired episode of Hardcore Pawn entitled “Scent of Deception,” riding Les around the parking lot on her 1989 trike.)

Patrick can name all fifty states just by looking at their shape (backwards, forwards, upside down, doesn't matter). Any sentence with the words “booger,” “fart,” or “poop” is the Funniest. Thing. Ever, especially at the dinner table. He is currently experimenting with power struggles, which are always fun. He is extremely opinionated. For those that know me and Dan, this news, I’m sure, is no surprise.

For the longest time, I couldn’t get Patrick to show a strong interest in any particular subjects. I wanted him to get obsessed with something…anything…and see him dive into it, full-tilt boogie, and without abandon. For five years of his life, I never really saw this kind of obsessive passion in anything. I pushed things like cars, dinosaurs, rocks, pirates, even insects. He was mildly interested, but never involved. I felt like a failure as a mom.

And then we went to Cedar Point in August. We’ve been going every year since he was two, but this year was different. This year he was tall enough to ride his first roller coaster.

Enter Patrick’s new obsession…roller coasters.

We have paper all over the first and second floors with his roller coaster drawings on them. He draws them in the car, on the computer, in the living room, at the dinner table, on vacation, and at school…if they would only let him. Even now as I type, I am surrounded by at least twenty sheets of computer paper scattered around the desk with his ink all over them. He spent an entire Sunday in September (eight-plus hours) designing his own amusement park. He designed, named, and put height restrictions for each ride, figured out a location and dates it would open, how many employees he would need, how much tickets would cost, and even came up with security and bad weather plans. At one point that day I had asked him if he wanted to watch a movie (bad mommy!), figuring he needed a break. He just said, “No thank you,” and went back to his task. I couldn’t believe the focus and drive in my little six-year-old.

Patrick going over his amusement park drawings with Dan.​

My little guy is OBSESSED. Nothing mild about it. His favorite state shape is Ohio, his favorite place is Cedar Point (“I wish we could live there,” he says every day), and his favorite thing to sit in is Iron Dragon. He watches point-of-view roller coasters on YouTube. He makes his own roller coasters using anything that looks like it could be a ride: the back of a chair, the arm of a couch, the toilet, your head, or a handrail. He can name all sixteen roller coasters in Cedar Point, what the height requirement is, and when he’ll be old enough to ride it. He’ll quiz me in the car. “Mommy, name a roller coaster that is blue and bumpy.”

About to go on his first coaster. This moment would change all of our lives forever.

Exhibit A. Roller coaster tracks throughout the house.



Exhibit B. Dreaming of roller coasters.



Exhibit C. Snacking below a coaster. Don't want to stray too far from them.



Exhibit D. Our sixteenth time on Iron Dragon.​

So…a warning to new parents…be careful what you wish for. As excited as I am that Patrick found his passion, I think my eyes are going to stick for as many times as I’ve rolled them when he says, “Mommy, let’s talk about roller coasters.” How many times I wanted to scream ENOUGH ALREADY! when he pulls out the Cedar Point map and makes you trace the path to every attractions (in order) that he will ride next year as he traces the path on the map with his finger….days one and two…which are different. And both must be done. Lunch stops are included. Fortunately, potty breaks are not.

Anyway, I figure the best way to celebrate his passion for roller coasters is a trip to Disney World.


So let’s revisit that moment when I finally made the reservation with Disney Reservations…

…Let’s see. I remember that I hung up. I spun around in my chair. I screamed something about going to Disney World. And then I was met with a wall of silence. Or a symphony of crickets. Whatever. It wasn’t exactly what I was expecting. Or maybe they didn’t hear me. Well, let’s find the family and try this again.

Dan's in the kitchen, holding an envelope.

Me: Didn’t you hear me? I made reservations at Disney!
Dan: Did you get the AAA discount?
Me: Yep! I don’t need no stinkin’ travel agent.
Dan: That’s my little travel planner. [goes back to reading mail]
Me: [standing, waiting for a reaction, ready to scream in joy]
Dan: Too bad we can’t drive our trailer to Hawaii.
[silence]
Dan: Is Suits on tonight?

Okay, so Dan had the Been-There-Done-That attitude. No matter. I found Patrick at his desk, scribbling roller coasters in his notebook.

Me: Hey Peanut.
Patrick: [not looking up] Hi Mommy.
Me: Guess what! No…look at me…guess what?
Patrick: [blank stare]
Me: We’re going to Disney World!
Patrick: Uh huh.
Me: No, seriously. This is a big deal. Disney World is the best place ever.
Patrick: Do they have any roller coasters?
Me: Yes! Of course!
Patrick: [wide-eyed] How many?
Me: Ummm….four.
Patrick: [snorts and goes back to his drawing]

The next day, however, I dragged him to the computer. “Check this out!” I said, pulling up a POV video on Space Mountain. “It’s a roller coaster from Disney World.”

The blue light beginning really got his attention. “Oh cool!” he said. My heart swelled. And then…the POV plunged into night vision darkness. After ten seconds of that he said, “This is boring,” and walked away.

What was I thinking, showing him a video of a dark ride? How dumb is that?

“Come back!” I said, my voice thick with desperation. “Here’s another one!” Patrick reluctantly wandered back in as I stumbled around You Tube for another video. Finally, before he could get away, a Big Thunder Mountain Railroad POV video came on the screen. Much to my disappointment, the “view” was nothing but the front train car, which blocked everything. To top it, the coaster only goes—what? Twenty miles an hour? After watching hours of roller coasters that do sixty miles an hour or more, this “train ride” looked pretty lame to my boy. In a matter of seconds, I lost him again, and he shuffled back out of the room as I frantically searched for a better POV video of it.

I, now insane with determination, muttered to the empty office. “Just you wait, Patrick. I’ll find a video and you’ll totally love it. You’ll want to watch this sucker over and over. And then I’ll find something even better. Like Expedition Everest or something. That’s right. So awesome you’ll weep. You’ll be begging me to take you on it. You’ll see. Oh…you will see.”

Mad? Me? Yes. And I am determined to do whatever I have to in order to get these two knuckleheads excited for our magical freaking vacation.
-------------------

Now that I have all of my ingredients, let stir this mess up and see how it cooks up. Cuz mama is hungry for some misadventure.



Next installment: Our first weekend in The Beast

 

[Backstage_Gal]

You are hilarious! I think you should go on an annual Disney vacation and post about it. Between planning and going, that should fill out the entire year nicely.

 

[englishrose47]

Hucifer you are toooooo funny!!!

 

[GreatBiscuit]

I’ve also expanded my pallet. I was a vegetarian for ten years. But now I eat

THIS​

And lots of it. Chicken, pork, beef, turkey, fish, and lamb. Grilled, baked, roasted, smoked, cured, and fried. You name it. I eat it. If it flaps, it’s food. If it moos, it’s mine. I can’t get enough of that animal flesh, probably because I deprived myself for so long. One of my favorite things on the planet is our smoker. In fact, one of my best recipes (besides bad trip planning) is pulled pork. I make a mean dry rub.

To celebrate my road to Christ (which is now lined with charred and smoked flesh), I think I ought to plan a trip to Disney. Seems like the most logical next step, don’t you think?

I'd say so.

Enter Patrick’s new obsession…roller coasters.

Oooooooooooo......Coasters.

Mad? Me? Yes. And I am determined to do whatever I have to in order to get these two knuckleheads excited for our magical freaking vacation.

Why do hear this being read by Frank Caliendo doing his Charles Barkley "Knucklehead" impersonation?

 

[hucifer]

You are hilarious! I think you should go on an annual Disney vacation and post about it. Between planning and going, that should fill out the entire year nicely.

I like the way you think, Gal. Unfortunately, those lousy mandates like time, money, and family enthusiasm are lacking in my household.

Hucifer you are toooooo funny!!!

You mean, like a clown?

I know, right? I've missed my meat.
[insert sexual innuendo here]

I'd say so.

I'm happy to have your support.

Oooooooooooo......Coasters.

There are worse things to get obsessed about, I must admit.

Why do hear this being read by Frank Caliendo doing his Charles Barkley "Knucklehead" impersonation?

I don't know?
He does a mean Charles Barkley, though.

 

[englishrose47]

I
You mean, like a clown?

.

Not exactly what I had in mind, more like a Stand up Comic I don't picture you with a RED nose at all or orange hair for that matter Definately NOT Bozo for a name

 

[Peter Panic Attack]

It’s been four and a half years since my last confess--er, trip report. Well, I mean I took the trip in 2009, but the trip report ended in 2010, so technically it’s been three years since I last posted.
Anyway, my point is that things have changed since then.

You can say that again…..we put a man on the moon….the berlin wall came down…..Maggie shot Mr Burns.

It took me a long time to realize that Patrick was a gift from God. And now my faith is so much stronger than my atheism ever could have been.

Better late than never…..would have happened quicker if you hadn’t clogged your brain with all those veggies.

I’ve also expanded my pallet. I was a vegetarian for ten years. But now I eat

THIS​

I knew it! Man, I’m tired of being right.

On a somewhat related note, I have a lot of used vegetarian cookbooks for sale. Cheap.

Bad news. I’m pretty sure you were the last vegetarian. You could always tear the pages out. They could be useful for starting fires……wrapping fish…..that sort of thing.

This man smoked for 24 years. I have spent countless years holding my breath while kissing him.

Just think, for all those years…..what Dan thought was a swoon was actually a brief loss of consciousness.

One day during dinner he says all casually, “Oh hey, I finished the Vandelay report. And I also got my bachelor’s degree today.” I almost choked on my charred chicken bone and managed to squeak out, “Whoa, back up. Beep beep beep. You finished the Vandelay report?”

I love the Vandelay report! I have the kindle edition. Personally, my favorite part is the chapter on import/export.

When he was three and at airport security for the first time, he didn’t just stop at his coat and shoes. He was taking off his pants and underwear too. Dan and I just barely saved him from getting his first Indecent Exposure infraction.

Now that’s funny

Patrick can name all fifty states just by looking at their shape (backwards, forwards, upside down, doesn't matter).

And now,
the reason you came;
the most spectacular site you'll see all day.
ladies and gentlemen,

THE BACKSIDE OF OHIO!

Any sentence with the words “booger,” “fart,” or “poop” is the Funniest.

obviously

For the longest time, I couldn’t get Patrick to show a strong interest in any particular subjects. I wanted him to get obsessed with something…anything…and see him dive into it, full-tilt boogie, and without abandon.

Well, in his defense, he was pretty busy learning motor skills, a language, and how to get around without a diaper.

I, now insane with determination, muttered to the empty office. “Just you wait, Patrick. I’ll find a video and you’ll totally love it. You’ll want to watch this sucker over and over. And then I’ll find something even better. Like Expedition Everest or something. That’s right. So awesome you’ll weep. You’ll be begging me to take you on it. You’ll see. Oh…you will see.”

Wow, insert ominous music and fade to black all ready. I’m picturing you slowly building into an all-out, throw your head back, evil laugh here.

Now we’re talking.

 

[glennbo123]

Okay, so this will be my THIRD attempt to reply to this update. The first time I started but then decided to wait until I was home so that I could give you a better link (see further down). Yesterday I thought "who am I kidding, I'm not going to do this from home", but my reply got lost in the ether-world when I hit the Submit button. Today, I'm going to save it to Word before I submit, just in case.

Don't ask about the chains.​

Good thing the whip was out of frame.

I’ve replaced my trusty ol’ treadmill with P90x and Insanity and discovered that I can get into shape a whole lot faster with them than I can walking in place for an hour.

T25 baby!

Oh, and check out today's Dilbert.

I’ve grown spiritually. I was an atheist for twenty years. But last May I was baptized (or, as Patrick called it at the time, “appetized”) in front of my family and friends and a whole auditorium of strangers. Patrick was there to witness, which was only fitting since he was the reason that I was brought back to God. After his conception, I began to question everything. It was a long, slow, deliberate path back to Christ. It took me a long time to realize that Patrick was a gift from God. And now my faith is so much stronger than my atheism ever could have been.

I’ve also expanded my pallet. I was a vegetarian for ten years. But now I eat

THIS​

And lots of it.

Welcome to the household of the faithful!

But enough about meat, congratulations on your journey to a saving faith!

Can’t say I miss the veggie burgers all that much. Oh meat, how I’ve missed you.

Are you telling me that this trip report won't contain any veggie-burger reviews? But they were always so informative and interesting!

This man smoked for 24 years. I have spent countless years holding my breath while kissing him. I have rolled my eyes countless times whenever he came home with another carton of cigarettes. I have sighed countless breaths at every smoking section in every public setting. But two years ago, he gave it up for good.

A vice-less Hucifer trip report? Let's hope that the Peanut has a weakness for chocolate or this is going to be borrrrring.

Congrats to Dan though!

One day during dinner he says all casually, “Oh hey, I finished the Vandelay report.

Vandelay Industries! Vandelay Industries!

Exhibit C. Snacking below a coaster. Don't want to stray too far from them.

Love the Charlie Brown shirt.

The next day, however, I dragged him to the computer. “Check this out!” I said, pulling up a POV video on Space Mountain. “It’s a roller coaster from Disney World.”

There's a website that I can't get to at the moment because my work firewall prevents websites related to games (what do they think, we'll play games all day? well yeah, probably), that has simulators for Expedition Everest and the Haunted Mansion (Paris version, I think). You can control putting trains into service, loading and unloading people, etc. I think you can find them if you google "expedition everest simulator". Should be "themagical" website, I think.

 

[NMAmy]

Wendy, Wendy, Wendy! Oh, I've missed you so! And now I hope everyone can bear with me while I catch up. Oh, and I haven't read trip reports in a while so I need to get back in the swing of it.

Hovering...all lugubrious and foreboding. But time may be on my side, my friend. [Slowly rubs hands together with a malicious grin and satanic stare.] Oh yes, my precious. Time. Plenty of time. [grin widens, hands rub faster]]

Really? Extra points for using the word lugubrious in an everyday context! AND a Tolkein reference? I'm only like two paragraphs in and I already feel like I've hit the pre-trip report jackpot.

You: Why do I care?
Me: I don't know, you read this far. You must be mildly curious.
You: Actually, I was absentmindedly perusing the pre-trip report board and I accidentally clicked---
Me: Alright, stop begging. Ill continue.

Spooky. It's like you're right here in my living room.

It all started in early October. I found this little nugget on Pinterest: New! Simple Recipe For Planning An Unsuccessful Vacation. As you can imagine, it piqued my interest. And like anything posted on Pinterest, it sounded like the next best thing from sliced bread, so I thought I would give it a try.

Pinterest--the cause of millions of partially completed craft projects all over the world.

Congratulations! Youve got the potential to have a disastrous vacation.

And yet, I feel like it will be great entertainment for me so I appreciate you taking one for the team.

How many years have I fantasized about planning this vacation? .

Well, I know that I personally have fantasized about this trip report for several years now and I've never even met Patrick in person. In a total non-stalkerish way, of course.

Have I not waited (oh so patiently, may I add) until my one and only son reached the perfect age for his first experience with Mickey? Have I not earned this ridiculously anticipated moment? Should it not be filled with immeasurable joy and wonder? WELL???.

All right, already, YES, YES, YES, and YES!!