Hucifer's recipe for disaster

[GreatBiscuit]

This is what the heck I got myself into.

On the plus side, you can take your resort room photos ahead of time and won't have to worry about anyone rushing in and messing the room up first.

 

[wiigirl]

Following along!

 

[Peter Panic Attack]

Just what the doctor ordered....a hucifer trip report. No really.....he said I need to keep my mind active and if I have to do another sudoku or crossword puzzle I'm going to puke.

So, let's get started....

See that dark cloud looming over it? Trust me, it's up there. It's been following me around town since I started planning. Hovering...all lugubrious and foreboding.

Lugubrious? If you're going to be using grown-up words in this pre-trip report....I need to know right now.

[grin widens, hands rub faster][/I]

Careful....I saw a guy on Survivor start a fire that way. From that point on, he had a huge target on his back.

And like anything posted on Pinterest, it sounded like the next best thing from sliced bread,

bread that's sliced...good one. What's it delivered in, flying cars?

Dash sarcasm

I'm guessing there was no need to run to the store for that ingredient.

[August 2006, standing in my bathroom with a used pregnancy stick in my left hand, my flip cell phone in my right]

Thank goodness you didn't mix those two things up.

 

[Peter Panic Attack]

We play this little game, our family. We call it the Camper Game. Whenever we start up the car, our points start back to zero. Along the way to our destination (school, church, city dump, prison, etc.), we point out all the campers that we see. If you see a camper first and call it, you get a point. Whoever gets the most points by the time we get to the adult bookstore or grandma's house is the winner.

Sounds complicated

Not a terribly complicated game.

My bad

It includes motor homes, fifth wheels, travel trailers, and pop-ups.

Sounds complicated

My six-year-old son Patrick rocks at this game. Mostly because if he's losing he'll suddenly declare that he isn't playing anymore

I choose not to run…

And no, we didn't name him after the damned starfish.

You made me laugh.

It was the guy from "Ghost" wasn't it?

And get used to my digressions. They usually serve a purpose to set up the story. Not always, though, I gotta be honest.

I bet you’re attorney made you put that in….because talk about your false advertising.

About a month ago, Patrick and I are at my aunt's house.

Which Patrick, your son or the starfish?

I'm all over hiking and kayaking and woods exploring and bike riding and gardening and sun worshipping.

Ah, yes…..I’ve heard of these things in songs and legends.

[We walk hand-in-hand into the Expo Center. Wide-eyed. Innocent. With the purest of intentions.]

Who are you trying to kid? Nobody goes to the Expo Center with pure intentions.

We stumble out of the Expo Center. Wide-eyed. Dazed.

It was all a blur.

ogling the newest features

...and then I blacked out.

See what I mean….pure intentions my Aunt Tilly's ashcan.

No argument? He was going for it? All it took was the promise to use our camper? But wait, bimbo brain...this means that you actually have to go camping at Disney World. No plush accommodations. No room service. No fancy resort room, no monorail at our doorstop. Just us and some prefabricated wood composite sheeting with a bed and a six-gallon hot water tank. Swatting at mosquitoes. Making my own meals. Doing my own dishes. Denied from long, hot showers. Just us in a confined space with a loud and energetic seven-year-old.

Ah crap. What the heck did I just get myself into?

It’s called a “cruel irony”…..like my dependence on your trip report.

 

[Poolrat]

Okay after that intro how can I NOT join in!!!!

Yes Dan needs to come over and give his 5 dollars worth.


Oh and hey - I love jedijill's comment... she probably right..

 

[hucifer]

I used to camp a lot (travel trailer camp) growing up, but we never got into it with our kids for all of the reasons that you mentioned in your chapter -- need something to tow it with, where the heck would we park it?, it seems like a lot of work (thanks mom and dad for doing it for us, but um yeah, it seems like a lot of work), and then of course, the expense.

Big money hole so far. I'm hoping the spending will slow down to a crawl here soon.

Your description of getting the bug sounds like when we bought into DVC though...got the bug, started searching the internets, and then the next thing you know, signed on the dotted line.

Oh, so you've been there? Except when you were pinched into reality, you ended up with beautiful condos. I've got a camper.

We'll have to get Dan (FauntleroyFan07) over here -- he's camped at Disney.

Really? Wonder how he's enjoying it.

Great update about how you became PioneersGo West Young Man Oh Orlando I prolly East !!!

More like south.

Yes Dan camped at Disney and he seemed to enjoy the Campground !! Just a little tip I hear the campground during Christmas is extremely well decorated !!!

My husband has already been there??? He never mentioned it! I'm so confused!

That's Dan your co-worker, not Dan, Hucifer's husband....you're going to confuse our poor Hucifer.

Oh. Right. I knew that.

I really can't wait to see Shades! I've heard great things about the resort-bad things about the food though.

I'm glad so many agree that it's a nice resort though!

Okay...we've stayed at SOG, but we only had breakfast. I cannot speak to the quality of their restaurants. And yes, no worries. It's a beautiful and quiet place to stay.

Wow! I'm so excited to hear how the trip goes with the camper. I've always been curious about the campsites there and have heard great things about them. We love to camp and I'm pretty sure my husband would love to try it.

For as sarcastic as I can be (whaaaaaa?), I do read only good things about Fort Wilderness. (Shhh...I'm actually looking forward to staying there.)

Oh my, you are off to an epic start! I think 200 points at the Villas of the Grand Floridian may have been cheaper than a new trailer and a truck!

Jill in CO

You know what I'm sayin'? Oh--but I'm SURE the cost savings in food and hotel expenditures will outweigh the maintenance costs and the gas to pull it.

That was a very entertaining introduction, can't wait how it all turns out

Why, thank you. It only gets more entertaining from here.

On the plus side, you can take your resort room photos ahead of time and won't have to worry about anyone rushing in and messing the room up first.

You mean I won't get any towel Mickeys????

Following along!

If you can put up with my sarcasm, you're to be commended. And maybe awarded.
And welcome!

 

[hucifer]

Just what the doctor ordered....a hucifer trip report. No really.....he said I need to keep my mind active and if I have to do another sudoku or crossword puzzle I'm going to puke.

Vomiting is the body's natural way of purging out bad things. While unpleasant, it is a necessary and healthy function of your stomach.

My trip report on the other hand...

Lugubrious? If you're going to be using grown-up words in this pre-trip report....I need to know right now.

I'm going to use grown-up words. Oh! You mean big words. Yes, those too.
I'm also going to have a few adults situations and maybe some occasional nudity.

Careful....I saw a guy on Survivor start a fire that way. From that point on, he had a huge target on his back.

Is that how most fires are started? I thought the only symptom was blindness.

bread that's sliced...good one. What's it delivered in, flying cars?

Sometimes. Except we adults call them AIRPLANES.

I'm guessing there was no need to run to the store for that ingredient.

Whaaaaaaaa?

Thank goodness you didn't mix those two things up.

Who says I didn't? But only for a second.

Sounds complicated

To the average idiot, yes. But not to us genius menthol folks.

Sounds complicated

(see above)

I choose not to run…

A Seinfeld reference! You do love me.

It was the guy from "Ghost" wasn't it?

We just wanted a name that didn't rhyme with a body part.

I bet you’re attorney made you put that in….because talk about your false advertising.

He strongly suggested it, yes.

Which Patrick, your son or the starfish?

Okay, now you're just playing dumb. Everyone knows the starfish doesn't play the camper game.

Who are you trying to kid? Nobody goes to the Expo Center with pure intentions.

Let's be honest. Ain't nuthin' pure about me and Dan.

See what I mean….pure intentions my Aunt Tilly's ashcan.

Aunt Tilly does have some nice cans.

It’s called a “cruel irony”…..like my dependence on your trip report.

Now an Emperor's New Groove quote. It's like you're in my head or something.

Stalker.

Okay after that intro how can I NOT join in!!!!

Honestly, I really don't know. But lots of people don't. It boggles the mind, it does.
Welcome!

Yes Dan needs to come over and give his 5 dollars worth.

I'd even listen to seven dollars' worth.

Oh and hey - I love jedijill's comment... she probably right..

She nailed it.

 

[FauntleroyFAN07]

got a message from glenn, saying i needed to check something out.

turns out it is a trip planned to camp in disney.

you are going to love it.

Okay after that intro how can I NOT join in!!!!

Yes Dan needs to come over and give his 5 dollars worth.


Oh and hey - I love jedijill's comment... she probably right..

geeze 5 bucks worth, i might need to make change for her.

but then again it could be invaluable info i give.

i do accept good advice payments in forms of disney gift cards.

i have grown up camping all over the country.

I have been to disney camping many times, that is the only way we went to disney as i was growing up. and we have camped there as recent as 2010.

so feel free to ask me anything, well about camping that is

and here is my TR link from when we camped there in 2010. if you want to read more about it on your own.

when are you going next year?

we are going in august.

 

[marvali]

I had to hurry before he turned eighteen. Just eleven years short. Made it!

Wow, you HAVE been out of that Disney loop for a while! Guess you have yet to price those tickets to see that you are considered an adult at 10 when it comes to Disney (maybe that has something to do with Peter Pan syndrome......in reverse maybe?). So no matter how childish you act, no children's discount on your ticket either young(er than me......thanks for pointing that out Glenn ) lady!

Wait.............I said lady.............

We play this little game, our family. We call it the Camper Game. Whenever we start up the car, our points start back to zero. Along the way to our destination (school, church, city dump, prison, etc.), we point out all the campers that we see. If you see a camper first and call it, you get a point.

You do realize if you program everyone's mind like that what is bound to happen........

Whoever gets the most points by the time we get to the adult bookstore or grandma's house is the winner.

Hmmm, is there a common theme that caused you to lump those two together like that?

And no, we didn't name him after the damned starfish.

It's not too late to start telling people you did, seeing as how bitter you seem to be about that oversight.

What the heck does this have to do with Disney World? you may ask. Ah, be patient, gentle reader. And get used to my digressions. They usually serve a purpose to set up the story. Not always, though, I gotta be honest.

No way! I'm sure a few of us would remember if THAT ever happened!

But a camper? I can definitely do one of those...combining my love of outdoors with the amenities of the indoors. Mama like. I know, I know, you damn tent purists out there are saying it isn't real camping. Those of you can bite me. I'll show you where.

Okay, okay! This is a family board...........you can infer such places and activities, but you can't post pictures here!

So we rushed back over to my aunt's house and took a look at it. The camper was clean and well designed. We liked it. But we had to discuss things.

[Dan and I, whispering in a tight huddle]
Me: If we buy this, we'll have to buy a truck to haul it with.
Dan: I'm not driving a truck. I don't like trucks. I like my car. A truck won't even fit in our garage.
Me: We'd have to store it in our driveway all the time. I will have to learn to back up without hitting it.
Dan: You know how much trucks cost?
Me: Do you know how bad I am at backing up?

We turn to my aunt. "This isnt going to work."

Oh I know what's coming here. Passing on the great deal usually ends up biting you in the end! I hope when Dan comes to his senses this option is still available!

It sounded like a fantastic idea. We had every incentive to follow that plan. I swear to the Disney deities this is true. We were just looking. We just went to get ideas. We only wanted to see what options there were. Honest engine.

[We walk hand-in-hand into the Expo Center. Wide-eyed. Innocent. With the purest of intentions.]

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo............................................

[We stumble out of the Expo Center. Wide-eyed. Dazed. Travel trailer keys in hand.]

In the middle of the night, he jerks in his sleep and suddenly bolts upright. "We need a towing vehicle!"

Didn't I warn you? Didn't...... I........ warn........ you..................

This is what the devil drives.​

Dan, in his best Geraldine voice...........
The hucifer made me do it!!!

(Why yes, we ARE made of money. Why do you ask?)

STILL????

Okay, you're with me so far? Because here is where all that buildup leads:

Me: [twirling my hair with my finger, looking as sweet as possible]

(THAT worked? And he still fell for it??? Talk about your proverbial making lemonade out of lemons........)

You know...ahem...just thinking out loud here...hee hee...we have lots of places to explore with that new travel trailer of ours.


Me: Oh! Get this. Hee hee. I hear that--ahem--Disney World has campgrounds.
Dan: Really.
Me: And Patrick is the perfect age next year.
Dan: [silence]
Me: For Disney World, I mean.
Dan: [silence]
Me: ...I'm just sayin.
Dan: [long pause] Actually, that sounds like a good idea.

See Dan, I warned you! All part of the hucifer evil plan!

Yes Dan camped at Disney and he seemed to enjoy the Campground !! Just a little tip I hear the campground during Christmas is extremely well decorated !!!

Just watch out for those flashers hanging out near the bath houses!!!

That's Dan your co-worker, not Dan, Hucifer's husband....you're going to confuse our poor Hucifer.

Rosie, that's Dan the DIS Donald Duck fan!............you're going to confuse our poor glennbo.

On the plus side, you can take your resort room photos ahead of time and won't have to worry about anyone rushing in and messing the room up first.

I'm also going to have a few adults situations and maybe some occasional nudity.

Didn't I already warn you about this???

Is that how most fires are started? I thought the only symptom was blindness.

You talking about your occasional nudity reference again???

We just wanted a name that didn't rhyme with a body part.

Hat rack, as in head.................??? (okay, I guess that's a stretch, even for a hucifer TR/PTR)

Let's be honest. Ain't nuthin' pure about me and Dan.

Speaking of intuitively obvious to the least casual of observers........................

Aunt Tilly does have some nice cans.

got a message from glenn, saying i needed to check something out.

Okay, guess he wasn't as confused as he seemed to be.

geeze 5 bucks worth, i might need to make change for her.

Only if she expects advice with no spelling errors......................

but then again it could be invaluable info i give.

You already put a value on it...........quit trying to scam poor hucifer!

and here is my TR link from when we camped there in 2010. if you want to read more about it on your own.

Just beware of flashers.....................

 

[englishrose47]

That's Dan your co-worker, not Dan, Hucifer's husband....you're going to confuse our poor Hucifer.

Notthat Dan, Dan as in Candi's Dan !!! Father of Parker and oelle !! Man Glenn you have been away to much !!! or maybe there are toooooo many Dan's !!!!

 

[englishrose47]

Rosie, that's Dan the DIS Donald Duck fan!............you're going to confuse our poor glennbo.







.....................

I did not say CO WORKER I said Dan , geeeeez you and Glenn , both misinterpretating what I say !!

 

[marvali]

I did not say CO WORKER I said Dan , geeeeez you and Glenn , both misinterpretating what I say !!

Apparently you are misinterpreting what I said. If you notice I quoted Glenn, then basically used his same words to make fun of him for creating more confusion instead of clarifying it for hucifer.

I know exactly which Dan you were referring to.

 

[glennbo123]

All right, all right, I messed up and thought that Rosie was talking about co-worker Dan, not Disboarder Dan (FauntleroyFAN07). But either way, I was only looking out for our beloved PTR writer here, who (whom?) I was afraid would get this person confused with her hubby Dan.

I think we just need another chapter from Hucifer.

 

[Poolrat]

Is this always going to be THIS confusing???? I'm on pain meds over here so maybe I'm just more confused than normal.


Nah- I'm not confused... not yet.

 

[Peter Panic Attack]

Vomiting is the body's natural way of purging out bad things.

Well, it’s a little late for that news. Do you have any idea how much I’ve shelled out over the years for therapy?

To think that all this time I could have gotten “Great-grampa Garfield” out of my head by eating a bunch of broccoli.

I'm also going to have a few adults situations and maybe some occasional nudity.

Great-grandpa Garfield frowns upon nudity

Is that how most fires are started? I thought the only symptom was blindness.

Great-grandpa Garfield frowns upon…...blindness

Who says I didn't? But only for a second.

Remind me not to borrow your cellphone

To the average idiot, yes. But not to us genius menthol folks.

You’re a member of menthol? I’m impressed. I couldn’t get in….but I think that reading your TR is making me more smarter.

Aunt Tilly does have some nice cans.

That’s because they’re old….and they just don’t make em like they used to.

 

[FauntleroyFAN07]

Notthat Dan, Dan as in Candi's Dan !!! Father of Parker and oelle !! Man Glenn you have been away to much !!! or maybe there are toooooo many Dan's !!!!

i knew you were talking about me rosie...glenn was confused.

All right, all right, I messed up and thought that Rosie was talking about co-worker Dan, not Disboarder Dan (FauntleroyFAN07). But either way, I was only looking out for our beloved PTR writer here, who (whom?) I was afraid would get this person confused with her hubby Dan.

I think we just need another chapter from Hucifer.

glenn confused miss rosie, in her age? how mean. or maybe rosie confused glenn in his old age...either way someone is confused

 

[norybell]

And soon the benevolent Disney deities will see my predicament from above, take pity on me, and blow that damn cloud away. Then they will drench my plans with a bucket of pixie dust and a squirt of plucky Mickey enthusiasm because that's what they do. They fix things.

The Disney Deities, thinking things over. They want to know whether or not Dan is making burgers on that grill. And, if so, whether or not they're veggie burgers. Much may hinge on these answers.

[August 2006, standing in my bathroom with a used pregnancy stick in my left hand, my flip cell phone in my right]
Me: Darling, I'm going to make reservations for our child's first trip to Disney World. Shall I dial the Disney Reservation line myself, or will you?

My silly, anti-WDW DH tried telling me, while I was pregnant, that he wouldn't let me raise our boy as a WDW lover. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

And the aforementioned little boy is about to wake up from his nap, meaning I can't make all the witty responses to your post that I had planned, but I will say:

Fort Wilderness! That is going to be amazing, I bet. Even though my only experiences with the place are childhood visits to Hoop-de-Do (hazy memories by now), and a single walk through the Fort one recent-ish January. And even though I have never, like never ever, been camping. It looked like a really fun place to stay.

(Actually, I totally fantasize about staying in one of the cabins there and finishing my book.)

Maybe you should start practicing your towel animals now.

 

[GreatBiscuit]

The Disney Deities, thinking things over. They want to know whether or not Dan is making burgers on that grill. And, if so, whether or not they're veggie burgers. Much may hinge on these answers.

Maybe you should start practicing your towel animals now.

Step 1. Goto: Amazon.com. Step 2. Search for "The Lost Art of Towel Origami". Step 3. Invite your friends over and prepare to be a rock star.

 

[norybell]

GB, I totally want to change my user name to NoryTheStoryBell now!

 

[hucifer]

turns out it is a trip planned to camp in disney.

you are going to love it.

I hope so! I have my trepidations about this trip.

but then again it could be invaluable info i give.

Appreciated.

i do accept good advice payments in forms of disney gift cards.

Noted.

I have been to disney camping many times, that is the only way we went to disney as i was growing up. and we have camped there as recent as 2010.

so feel free to ask me anything, well about camping that is

Ooh, you are so going to regret offering that.

and here is my TR link from when we camped there in 2010. if you want to read more about it on your own.

Thank you! I started reading, but I see I'm going to need some time on that one. Maybe during work hours...

when are you going next year?
we are going in august.

We are going August 18-30. Any chance you might run us over in your golf cart?

Wait.............I said lady.............

What were you thinking?

No way! I'm sure a few of us would remember if THAT ever happened!

I'm sure it must have happened once or twice, marv.

Okay, okay! This is a family board...........you can infer such places and activities, but you can't post pictures here!

And I thought this was a progressive site.

Dan, in his best Geraldine voice...........
The hucifer made me do it!!!

I didn't make him do anything he wasn't already willing to do himself.

See Dan, I warned you! All part of the hucifer evil plan!

I think he's on to me by now.

Just watch out for those flashers hanging out near the bath houses!!!

Ooh, something I should know about?

Rosie, that's Dan the DIS Donald Duck fan!............you're going to confuse our poor glennbo.

Too late.

You talking about your occasional nudity reference again???

It's what I do.

Just beware of flashers.....................

Seriously, I'm very intrigued now.