Hucifer does the solo thing sort of. Alone and going home, 9/21

[PrincessV]

Hucifer? THIS...

If the Dad wasn't there and the lifeguards never saw him would you have let him drown? Would you have stood there watching as he went under and didn't come back up? Would you have been paralyzed for the 5 minutes or more that it would take for him to drown? OF COURSE NOT! You would called to the lifeguards to save him or done it yourself long before any permanent harm happened. His Dad's reaction was quicker because he already knew his son's swimming abilities and he didn't have to decide if he should leave it to the professionals or do it himself. Parental instict made him react instead of think.

...is exactly what I was trying to say and A&Bmama put it perfectly!

 

[glennbo123]

Hucifer? THIS...

...is exactly what I was trying to say and A&Bmama put it perfectly!

Yeah, me too!

 

[GreatBiscuit]

Yeah, me too!

Ditto.

 

[jordanyosh]

Ditto.

i concur

 

[Cap'n Keel]

Ditto.

Ah Hucifer - welcome to parenthood. We ain't perfect. My first kid, first day home, started choking. Mother-in-law grabbed the baby up and started literally running around in circles while the baby changed color. She had 5 kids. I grabbed him, flipped him, smacked his back and he threw up god knows what and was fine. People just react wrong or slow sometimes as they are actually panicking themselves inside. Some people pass out at the sight of blood. After raising five kids, one could tell me - Dad I cut off my arm - and now I'd just say you didn't throw it away did ya - arms cost money ya know. You learn. As to those life guards - their college kids. For the safety of Patrick - never trust their judgements. You'll find college aged kids are placed in many low paying jobs that concern safety. I have overrode them so many times it isn't funny. Logic says they didn't hear the boy or see an issue as he was still swimming. Then again, they aren't tuned to react as a parent should.
One of the worst safety issues at Disney - lightning. Do not wait until some silly doppler radar warning is relayed to clear the pool. If it looks like lightning/storm coming - get out of the water - doesn't matter if it's 1/2 mile away. Do you want your kid hit by the first bolt on the edge of the cloud?

 

[Peter Panic Attack]

No pics for this segment. Sorry. Actually, I’m not sorry. Sorry about not being sorry.

Apology for lack of regret accepted

Fortunately, the rain kept most pool-goers and potential oglers away

What? Potential oglers don’t like to get wet? Good to know.

The dad is holding his son and comforting him while the boy clings to his dad, sobbing.

We were camping in the mountains a couple of years ago during spring thaw when the streams were running fast. It’s was a pretty dangerous situation….we don’t let our kids hang around the water under those conditions. From our campsite, we heard a little girl screaming. When I got up to check, I saw the top of a little head just barely above a log stretched across the stream. This girl was like five or six and she had tried to cross the stream on her own. Halfway across, she had fallen in and was hanging on to the upstream side of the log. The current was so strong that it had sucked the rest of her body under the log. There was nobody else around so I jumped in and pulled her over to the far bank.

So why am I pouring salt in your wounds? Well…with all due respect to Paul Harvey…. here’s the rest of the story. I felt really bad for the girl’s dad. It should have been him jumping in after his little girl. If that had happened to my daughter….and I’d been off somewhere while a stranger saved my kid…I’d feel sick to my stomach every time I thought about it. For the rest of his life, the kid from your story gets to remember how his dad jumped into the pool fully-clothed to save him…which is awesome.

“Soom fuud nowlum foud. Dee End.”

[Click.]

The line was dead.

Wow....your little boy really knows how to make an exit. I probably would have went with "Muur" instead of "Soom"....but his way is better.

 

[__disneygirl]

Hucifer! I just got back from WDW and I'm all caught up now. You are a great writer. You made me feel like I was there with you in the pool. I have quick reflexes when it comes to kids b/c I watch my cousins all the time who are ages 9, 6, 7, 5, 1, and... one is being born literally within hours. Seriously. I'm excited. LOL. Anyway... most of these kids are over zealous and two of them will just run away without warning and I am quite a pro with taking off after them while trying to block the other's heads from smacking into corners of tables, potted plants, pots and pans, silverware, each other, various animals especially cats, and other things that could be possibly dangerous. So I have the same instincts when it comes to kids I don't know but I never know how to act. The other day I saw a kid playing on the escalator at the mall and I paused. I knew this child was in danger but I always feel odd and think... oh, they're just playing. A parent will come over in one second. Nothing will happen. I will look insane if I run over, scoop the kid up at freak out. It's no big. But then I think... WHAT IF this kid falls. And is severely injured and all I did was look? I would never be able to forgive myself. It would ruin my life probably. Luckily after a second more playing on the escalator what looked like the kid's brother picked him up and told him to not play on escalators. But it could have been so horrible. SO what I'm rambling on about here is this: I understand what you went through that day at the pool and you are not alone.

aaand I can't wait for more. Also please go on another trip. Thanks!

P.S. omg. OMG. I am so mad about not being able to buy a fake CM nametag. What is going on with Disney?!

P.P.S. I cracked up at the whole thing with the buzzer. You are a hoot...Hucifer. Hucifer the hoot. Whoa, i'm tired. Anyway go on another Disney trip! Bye!

 

[marvali]

No TR update since Monday???? Whazzup wid dat????

I NEED my Hucifix!

 

[hucifer]

It's just not fair, is it?

No it isn't.

You went swimming in the rain?

Actually, it just finished raining. It was overcast and looked dreary, but no rain. So it looked ominous, which kept most of the pool people away.

Ewww. What is up with Disney and these bizarre pools? Clowns and lizards vomiting up small children.

I never thought about it that way.

Don't be so hard on yourself, pal. I think most people kind of have that moment of denial when they think that something bad couldn't possibly be happening and it takes a moment to sink in.

Yep, that's pretty much what was happening to me...in slow motion. That poor boy.

Yeah, I am, too. I mean, it's right there in their job name--LIFE GUARD. They're supposed to be guarding lives.

That's what I thought!

Oh, honey. It all worked out okay in the end. And now if, heaven forbid, something should happen again, I'll bet you remember this instead of stupid advice from Parent magazine.

Ain't that the truth.

I love that conversation. Caitlin used to end phone conversations by saying, "Okay, I'm done talking now." Click.

Don't you just love 'em?

Well, sure. That scarf can't stop the rays of the sun, you know.

My girls didn't burn, so the scarf did work a little.

It's just not a hucifer trip report until you make me tear up, is it now?

If I could make just one person cry...then I've done my job.

Wow, thats crazy! I have grown up around water my entire life. I have done lifeguarding at every type of pool there is. I have even been certified to work a beach. We were trained in the rip currents. I never took the beach job, I just wanted to know what to do if I ever saw something happen there. Even though I havent been a lifeguard for a few years I have still been in the unfortunate situation a few times and had to grab children out of the water. Once we were at the wave pool and an 8 year old went down. I got her up and the lifeguards on duty took over for me. My kids are 8 and 3 now and I have made it a point to teach them to swim. For AJ its mostly getting back to the top and floating or dog paddling. Kat is a pro. I am not "downing" you in any way. I have spent my life being trained to just jump in and think later. It is a hard situation to be in and anyone would freeze!!! I had a similar situation a few years back at a restaraunt. Having the CPR training and all of the other training I have had would you believe that I froze at Chili's one night while a toddler was choking? I had never actually seen someone choking before let alone a child. Everything I had ever learned was gone, I just stared. Luckily someone at another table jumped up and took control. The baby was ok and went on to enjoy his chicken tenders and fries like nothing had happened but, it could have been tragic. It is hard to react during a crisis. The lifeguards should have been doing their jobs. That's why they are there!

I am so sorry that your pool day didn't go as planned. You are no-less of a person because you froze. It happens. Please don't be too hard on yourself for it.....we all still love you here!

I remember seeing a woman choking at a cafeteria once. I didn't know what was happening until I saw a man trying to help her. Once I saw that, everything went into slow motion. Eventually the chunk of food did go down (not out), and she was fine. But she was lucky that he had reacted so quickly.

Thanks for your reply.

Thanks for the next installment! I would let you swim with my kids. Don't be so hard on yourself.

Thanks.

I'm still thinking about this last installment, and it brought back a memory from a conversation I had while in high school. I was talking with a guy I played basketball with, he was about 6' 6" and I was nearing 6' tall. I don't know how we got on the subject, but he said "if you were drowning, I wouldn't jump in to save you." And I, of course, was like "wha?" And he said that he was taking lifeguard training and that if they felt like the drowning person would wrestle them in the water and jeopardize their safety, they shouldn't get in the water with the person -- they should use a floation device or pole or something. He went on to say "you're not that big, but I know you're a lot tougher than you look, so that's a compliment." So, I was like, "oh okay, since you put it that way." And he was right -- I'd totally kick his butt if he was between me and oxygen.

But Glenn, I was touching the bottom. I totally could have helped that boy if my mind wasn't getting in the way.

I can't believe the lifeguards just stood there. I can kind of understand you, and I'm sure less time passed than you thought. But the lifeguards? That's why lifeguard or no, I'm ready to jump in after my kids.

Whether I'm supposed to or not.

Sounds like a dramtic ending of the day for you.

If you knew how close those lifeguards were to us, you would be shaking your head...it was unreal. Mere feet from us. And this poor boy is yelling "help!" You can't get more obvious than that. I was very glad the day was over!

What the ding dang dong is this? An apology from PPA! And to Hucifer no less???? There goes that pedestal.......

Wait a minute???? It is totally acceptable to dine, imbibe and ride various Disney modes of transport sans clothing, but you put on a bathing suit to go to the POOL???

I have my standards.

I'm sure if Russell had only known, he would have been there for ya!

You know, for as creepy as that guy is, he sure knows how to play Survivor.

I bet you were expecting SOOO much more.......you drunken lady of leisure.....

I think I was waiting for it to be fun. Riding down a wet tongue? I mean, come on!

OH, and I STILL can't believe you took a bus from DHS to Epcot......sheeesh!

I almost wrote that too!!

To the corner... BOTH of you!

 

[hucifer]

I know you like sarcasm, but to be sarcastic you need something sarcasm-able to work with. Hard to find it in this last update.

Ahh Hucifer , I agree with others about not being so hard on yourself. We never know how we'll react in a situation until it happens. And since I'm being all sweet and stuff, I love Patrick's toddler talk.

I keep telling myself that next time, I will react appropriately and swiftly.

Okay, I know it's already been said, but please don't beat yourself up. We truly don't know just how we'll react in that situation, or how our reaction might affect the outcome. And what you'd read was absolutely correct; had you tried to rescue the boy, he could easily have dragged you under and there'd have been two people in need of rescue instead of one. You just never know; you did what was right for you, in that specific situation, at that time. One more:

However, my toes were touching the bottom...so I wasn't in danger. Which makes me feel crappier, you know?

If the Dad wasn't there and the lifeguards never saw him would you have let him drown? Would you have stood there watching as he went under and didn't come back up? Would you have been paralyzed for the 5 minutes or more that it would take for him to drown? OF COURSE NOT! You would called to the lifeguards to save him or done it yourself long before any permanent harm happened. His Dad's reaction was quicker because he already knew his son's swimming abilities and he didn't have to decide if he should leave it to the professionals or do it himself. Parental instict made him react instead of think.

Wow! you're absolutely right. Thanks so much, A&Bmama. That is exactly what I needed to read.

Very well said!

Hucifer? THIS...


...is exactly what I was trying to say and A&Bmama put it perfectly!

Yeah, me too!

Ditto.

i concur

I agree with all of you.

Ah Hucifer - welcome to parenthood. We ain't perfect. My first kid, first day home, started choking. Mother-in-law grabbed the baby up and started literally running around in circles while the baby changed color. She had 5 kids. I grabbed him, flipped him, smacked his back and he threw up god knows what and was fine. People just react wrong or slow sometimes as they are actually panicking themselves inside. Some people pass out at the sight of blood. After raising five kids, one could tell me - Dad I cut off my arm - and now I'd just say you didn't throw it away did ya - arms cost money ya know. You learn. As to those life guards - their college kids. For the safety of Patrick - never trust their judgements. You'll find college aged kids are placed in many low paying jobs that concern safety. I have overrode them so many times it isn't funny. Logic says they didn't hear the boy or see an issue as he was still swimming. Then again, they aren't tuned to react as a parent should.
One of the worst safety issues at Disney - lightning. Do not wait until some silly doppler radar warning is relayed to clear the pool. If it looks like lightning/storm coming - get out of the water - doesn't matter if it's 1/2 mile away. Do you want your kid hit by the first bolt on the edge of the cloud?

OMG...your son was a few days old and already choking? I probably would have reacted like your mom.

Apology for lack of regret accepted

Oh good.

What? Potential oglers don’t like to get wet? Good to know.

Apparently not. There were none around at that time. I just assumed it was because of the weather.

We were camping in the mountains a couple of years ago during spring thaw when the streams were running fast. It’s was a pretty dangerous situation….we don’t let our kids hang around the water under those conditions. From our campsite, we heard a little girl screaming. When I got up to check, I saw the top of a little head just barely above a log stretched across the stream. This girl was like five or six and she had tried to cross the stream on her own. Halfway across, she had fallen in and was hanging on to the upstream side of the log. The current was so strong that it had sucked the rest of her body under the log. There was nobody else around so I jumped in and pulled her over to the far bank.

So why am I pouring salt in your wounds? Well…with all due respect to Paul Harvey…. here’s the rest of the story. I felt really bad for the girl’s dad. It should have been him jumping in after his little girl. If that had happened to my daughter….and I’d been off somewhere while a stranger saved my kid…I’d feel sick to my stomach every time I thought about it. For the rest of his life, the kid from your story gets to remember how his dad jumped into the pool fully-clothed to save him…which is awesome.

Actually, I get that. I really do.

Wow....your little boy really knows how to make an exit. I probably would have went with "Muur" instead of "Soom"....but his way is better.

Oh, you speak Toddler? Impressive.

Hucifer! I just got back from WDW and I'm all caught up now. You are a great writer. You made me feel like I was there with you in the pool. I have quick reflexes when it comes to kids b/c I watch my cousins all the time who are ages 9, 6, 7, 5, 1, and... one is being born literally within hours. Seriously. I'm excited. LOL. Anyway... most of these kids are over zealous and two of them will just run away without warning and I am quite a pro with taking off after them while trying to block the other's heads from smacking into corners of tables, potted plants, pots and pans, silverware, each other, various animals especially cats, and other things that could be possibly dangerous. So I have the same instincts when it comes to kids I don't know but I never know how to act. The other day I saw a kid playing on the escalator at the mall and I paused. I knew this child was in danger but I always feel odd and think... oh, they're just playing. A parent will come over in one second. Nothing will happen. I will look insane if I run over, scoop the kid up at freak out. It's no big. But then I think... WHAT IF this kid falls. And is severely injured and all I did was look? I would never be able to forgive myself. It would ruin my life probably. Luckily after a second more playing on the escalator what looked like the kid's brother picked him up and told him to not play on escalators. But it could have been so horrible. SO what I'm rambling on about here is this: I understand what you went through that day at the pool and you are not alone.

It is hard sometimes to know whether or not to react. The boy on the escalators was fortunate that someone stopped him before he hurt himself.

aaand I can't wait for more. Also please go on another trip. Thanks!

LOL. No trips planned for a few years. Sorry about that.

P.S. omg. OMG. I am so mad about not being able to buy a fake CM nametag. What is going on with Disney?!

I know! I'm so mad that Patrick will never get one!

P.P.S. I cracked up at the whole thing with the buzzer. You are a hoot...Hucifer. Hucifer the hoot. Whoa, i'm tired. Anyway go on another Disney trip! Bye!

I thought buzzers were well known to everyone. Apparently not.

No TR update since Monday???? Whazzup wid dat????

I NEED my Hucifix!

I'm updating soon! I'm sorry I was away for so long...I know it's okay, but it feels so wrong. I will update in the next day...please forgive me, Marvin K.

 

[glennbo123]

But Glenn, I was touching the bottom. I totally could have helped that boy if my mind wasn't getting in the way.

The perils of being so big-brained.

I have my standards.

Huh, I learned something today!

You know, for as creepy as that guy is, he sure knows how to play Survivor.

As much as I didn't like him, I started to root for him the last time he played. I thought he got robbed at the end -- he really was the best player, by far. Too bad for him nobody liked him. Now this season, he totally schooled Boston Rob, and snookered J.T. He may have met his match in Parvati though.

To the corner... BOTH of you!

She meant different corners Marvin....go find your own!

 

[marvali]

I have my standards.

I think I was waiting for it to be fun. Riding down a wet tongue? I mean, come on!

I mighta thunk it, but I ain't dumb enough to say it.....

To the corner... BOTH of you!

You'd like that wouldn't ya!!!!!

I agree with all of you.

Suck up......

I'm updating soon! I'm sorry I was away for so long...I know it's okay, but it feels so wrong. I will update in the next day...please forgive me, Marvin K.

I don't have to take this.....I'm going home!

The perils of being so big-brained.

You saw all of that in the picture at Sci-Fi????

Huh, I learned something today!

Ohhh, that's gonna leave a mark!!

As much as I didn't like him, I started to root for him the last time he played. I thought he got robbed at the end -- he really was the best player, by far. Too bad for him nobody liked him. Now this season, he totally schooled Boston Rob, and snookered J.T. He may have met his match in Parvati though.

Unfortunately, I think you are right. This weeks episode should prove very interesting. I don't like the guy at all, and have been pulling against him now both times, but if he can pull off his Houdini act this week and make it through Tribal Council, I may just have to start pulling for him!

She meant different corners Marvin....go find your own!

 

[hucifer]

The perils of being so big-brained.

It's a curse, really.

As much as I didn't like him, I started to root for him the last time he played. I thought he got robbed at the end -- he really was the best player, by far. Too bad for him nobody liked him. Now this season, he totally schooled Boston Rob, and snookered J.T. He may have met his match in Parvati though.

Ugh, I HATE Parvati. She thinks she's so adorable. And yes, Russell was robbed because the jury was bitter. I hate bitter juries.

She meant different corners Marvin....go find your own!

And no giggling this time!

I mighta thunk it, but I ain't dumb enough to say it.....

I like to taunt the mods once in a while.

I don't have to take this.....I'm going home!

You can go by car, you can go by rail. You can stamp yourself and go by mail.

Unfortunately, I think you are right. This weeks episode should prove very interesting. I don't like the guy at all, and have been pulling against him now both times, but if he can pull off his Houdini act this week and make it through Tribal Council, I may just have to start pulling for him!

I've been pulling for him since last season. It's about time you joined us.

 

[hucifer]

pics are posted yet because the pics are home and I only post from work. Pretty much. Except I'm kididng, Tim. Ha ha.

Quoting you: I slip on my bathing suit

It’s about time you decided to put something on.

I didn't want to be inappropriate.

Quoting you: …look well my friends because this sort of thing only happens once a millennium.

Ummm, we can’t look. No pictures.

Right. My bad.

Quoting NMAmy: It's just not fair, is it?

If women experienced shrinkage they would probably never get out of the pool.

Except to pee.

Quoting NMAmy: TOTALLY understandable.

Enabler.

Supporter.

Quoting NMAmy: You went swimming in the rain?

Some people will do anything to avoid the ooglers (and the people who stare).

I have self-esteem issues.

Quoting ComeReadMYTripReport: Ewww. What is up with Disney and these bizarre pools? Clowns and lizards vomiting up small children.

As it should be.

I'm still trying to figure out how you arrived at that nickname.

As for the whole pool incident I will just say the following: I nearly drowned as a kid. I think I was about 6 or 7. We were at the beach and the undertow pulled me into the ocean. And in similar fashion no one realized what was happening as each time I was pulled in further. It was a family friend who jumped in fully clothed (watch and all) and saved me. My point is, these things happen in a split second. And even though you played it through your mind and thought you had time to react it was probably a blink of an eye so don’t beat yourself up. As long as it had a happy ending that is all that matters.

Lou

Was that...words of encouragement? Niceness? From LOU?

 

[hucifer]

Part 1. If it weren’t for the millions of tour groups, this park would be empty


I’m sure, gentle reader, that you do not care what kind of a wakeup call I had this morning. (At least, I hope not because I didn’t write it down and have no earthly idea what it was.) Just know that it WASN’T the classic Mickey wakeup call. And that makes me very angry, earthling, very angry indeed. Makes me want to shoot the phone with my explosive space modulator. Or start a Bring Back Mickey Calls petition. Or write an angrily written letter to the CEO.

I have a big bowl of oatmeal, a big cup of coffee, a big morning constitutional, and I’m ready to go. I rip out the Animal Kingdom touring plan and walk out the door.

I walk over to the main building. No Official Port Orleans French Quarter Door Openers this morning. No personal serenading. Dammit.

Then I walk to the bus stop. Sure, there are other guests here. But when the Animal Kingdom bus comes, I am the only one getting on. And when I step inside, I am the only one on the bus (besides the driver of course).

AK bus driver goes to Riverside today. That in itself bears mentioning because it seems completely arbitrary whether or not the French Quarter busses make it to Riverside. So this driver has Riverside on his route today. He goes to the first stop, opens the doors, and waits. No one gets on. He takes off. Go to the next Riverside stop: repeat. Go to the third stop: no one is there. Go to the final Riverside bus stop: doors open, we wait, doors close, and we’re off to Animal Kingdom – me and my personal driver. On a big honking bus. Is this a sign of a light crowd park day? One can only hope.

No one to blame for the smell but myself.​

I read once that a good rule of thumb is to visit a park the day after it has Extra Magic Hours. The psychology being that people aren’t going to visit a park two days in a row. Let me tell you I have tested this theory, with some mixed results. But overall I do think it is a good idea.

After rope drop, I immediately hang left toward the lockers. I have dressy clothes for dinner with me and I really don’t feel like carrying them around with me all day. I pay the hundred dollar deposit or whatever it costs these days, find my locker, and toss my stuff inside. Then I walk with the rest of the masses over to Expedition Everest. I’m pretty excited about this ride for two reasons: One, I’m a roller coaster junkie. And b), the last time I was here, EE was open but I was pregnant and therefore unable to ride. It absolutely killed me to stand there and watch hundreds of roller coaster riders zoom past me, screaming in joyous terror, while I waited 45 minutes for my mom and sister to ride the thing. I do remember showing some poor woman next to me pictures of my unborn baby to pass the time.

Well, THIS was my time. Touring plan in hand, I walk to the FastPass machines (which were not stocked with idiot guests, happily enough) and get my FastPass. That’s when I run into a man who is holding the Unofficial Guide touring plan in his hand too. I make a comment about it and he tells me that his family has been using it for their vacation and so far they haven’t waited in line for more than twenty minutes. That was good news, I thought. And, as if mocking the Touring Plan Gods, I figure what the heck, and I jump into line with the rest of the park. I’m pulling a Toy Story Mania again…getting a FastPass and jumping in line. But, unlike Toy Story, this line was literally five minutes. The next thing I knew I was getting into a train car and buckling my belt.

Now, I have ridden many a roller coaster in my day. So it takes a lot to surprise or impress me. Because of reading countless spoilers, I knew what to expect…until the thing shot backwards and up. It was a sensation I have never, ever experienced before. It was exhilarating! I was whooping and laughing and loving every backwards moment of it.

So I do what any red-blooded American would do. As soon as I get off, I get right back in line again. And – I kid you not – the line is once again five minutes long. It’s deceiving, really, when you see scores of tourists piling into the building. You think this thing would fill up quickly. But five minutes later and I’m back in a train car and ready for some monster-loving. This is THE day for going to Animal Kingdom, it seems.

Once my second journey to the Himalayas is over, I notice that the standby line creeps up to twenty minutes, so I decide not to push my luck a third time. I do have a FastPass, after all. And that would be three rides in one day. Not a bad way to make up for lost time, says I.

I consulted my touring plans. If you have small children, ride TriceraTop Spin in Dinoland. I indeed DO have a small child, but since he isn’t with me I decide to skip this step. Proceed to Dinosaur, the next step says. Okay, if you insist.

Before I step foot in Dinoland, let me say that this is the first day of experiencing Brazilian tour groups. You cannot miss them. At all. Now, they are not the loud and obnoxious brats I’ve been reading about. In fact, they all seemed very polite and organized. But you cannot miss them because they all wear the same t-shirt. Each group has their own dedicated Shirt Of The Day, usually with the Disney name on it, along with some Portuguese writing. The leader usually has a leader flag for everyone to follow. And holy crap, they have some large groups! Some as large as 60, 70, maybe 80 people or more. All in the same shirt. You really can’t miss them. Did I mention that you can't miss them? Today, they were taking over Animal Kingdom. I must have seen five or six different groups.

Okay, I’ll step into Dinoland now.

So I’m approaching the Dinosaur building when I see a woman taking a picture of her family in front of the Dinosaur statue.

Hold up, let me say something else first.

Since this is my first solo adventure, one thing I promised myself before I even stepped on the airplane in Michigan was that I would enjoy Disney in a different way. Since I was alone, I could come and go on my schedule. But it was also the chance to stop a lot along the way. Notice the details. Talk to the cast members. Be extra kind to the guests…which included offering to take group photos. Lots of group photos. But only if they had a simple point-and-shoot camera. No cameras with complicated aperture features or f-stops or telephoto lenses or doohickies or whachamacallits or anything. By Day 7 I had offered to take countless family photos and wasn’t turned down once. I really enjoyed doing that, and I did it every chance I could. (Funny enough, no one ever reciprocated the offer.)

So I’m walking toward Dinosaur and I see a woman taking a picture of her family. I step in, excuse myself, and offer to take a picture of the entire family.

“I guess,” she says, sighing. Like posing won’t be too much of a bother. Like it would be my privilege to do so. She hands me the camera and walks over to the rest of her group in front of the statue.

But I don’t let her strange flippant attitude ruin my mood. I have everyone remove their shoes and step in the fountain (ancient European tradition, you know), and I get ready to take the shot.

This is when karma bites me on the butt. In exchange for bothering this poor woman and her tired family, an entire Brazilian tour group in orange t-shirts walks right by me as I’m holding the camera up to my face. All ten thousand of them walk into the Dinosaur building.

I snap the picture, watch the mob of tourists cram themselves in the building like stuffing into a Thanksgiving turkey, then hand the camera back over to her. She mumbles a “thanks,” like she doesn’t really mean it, and I follow the orange t-shirts through the doorway.

In line, I pull out my trusty notepad and hotel pen and angrily scribble in it. Stupid lousy woman…like it was my job to take her freaking picture…why I ought to send her an angrily written letter or something… Then my cheap hotel pen sputters and dies right there in the middle of a sentence. Crap. I can’t even finish my vent now.

I put away my notepad and toss the pen in the nearest trash receptacle. Now I can’t even vent about the not being able to vent. Then I wait in line behind sea of orange.



Coming up: Part 2. Lone Ride Nazi Slays Entire Crowd Single-Handedly. Story at 11.

 

[creativeamanda]

That was great! I can't, however, believe for the life of me that that lady acted like she did. If you had offered it to me, I assure you I would say thank you and mean it.

As far as the bus ride goes--it all looks to familiar, does it not. Except it doesn't seem like you ended up with what I ended up with, lol.

Great update--I'm looking forward to more.

 

[glennbo123]

I’m sure, gentle reader, that you do not care what kind of a wakeup call I had this morning.

Well, now that you mention it.

And that makes me very angry, earthling, very angry indeed. Makes me want to shoot the phone with my explosive space modulator.

Where's the kaboom? There was supposed to be an earth-shattering kaboom!

Or start a Bring Back Mickey Calls petition. Or write an angrily written letter to the CEO.

That'll teach 'em.

I have a big bowl of oatmeal, a big cup of coffee, a big morning constitutional, and I’m ready to go.

Just a "regular" day, I guess.

I walk over to the main building. No Official Port Orleans French Quarter Door Openers this morning. No personal serenading. Dammit.

They were probably busy singing "Never My Love" and "Cherish" over at Port Orleans Riverside.

And when I step inside, I am the only one on the bus (besides the driver of course).

Whew, you had me worried there for a sec. I thought it was like a doom buggy or something.

I do remember showing some poor woman next to me pictures of my unborn baby to pass the time.

Oh yeah! I read about that in some woman's TR! That was hilarious!

Because of reading countless spoilers, I knew what to expect…until the thing shot backwards and up. It was a sensation I have never, ever experienced before. It was exhilarating! I was whooping and laughing and loving every backwards moment of it.

I have to agree with you here. It seemed to pick up speed as it went up, maybe that depended upon which car you're in, but I did not expect that.

This is when karma bites me on the butt. In exchange for bothering this poor woman and her tired family, an entire Brazilian tour group in orange t-shirts walks right by me as I’m holding the camera up to my face. All ten thousand of them walk into the Dinosaur building.

Ohhhhhhhhh nuts.

Then my cheap hotel pen sputters and dies right there in the middle of a sentence. Crap. I can’t even finish my vent now.

I think they're designed to last as long as the 3-sheet hotel notepads.

I put away my notepad and toss the pen in the nearest trash receptacle.

I'm glad to read that you're not a litterbug.

Coming up: Part 2. Lone Ride Nazi Slays Entire Crowd Single-Handedly. Story at 11.

Oh good -- a happy ending! I can't wait to read it!

 

[PrincessV]

I read once that a good rule of thumb is to visit a park the day after it has Extra Magic Hours. The psychology being that people aren’t going to visit a park two days in a row. Let me tell you I have tested this theory, with some mixed results. But overall I do think it is a good idea.

I have to say, I often forget about this little gem. But I, too, have seen it work some magic!

One, I’m a roller coaster junkie.

I'm sorry, time out. From one junkie to another - have you been over here to Busch Gardens Tampa yet? You really must. Kumba, Montu... Gwazi! It's a coaster lover's paradise!

Sorry, back to your trip...

But five minutes later and I’m back in a train car and ready for some monster-loving. This is THE day for going to Animal Kingdom, it seems.

And holy crap, they have some large groups! Some as large as 60, 70, maybe 80 people or more.

What always amazes me is this: they nearly all, nearly always look happy. In that big, cumbersome, slow-moving group. Doesn't just one of them want to make a break for it, go it alone, pull a Toy Story Mania?

 

[All7OfUs]

I’m sure, gentle reader, that you do not care what kind of a wakeup call I had this morning. (At least, I hope not because I didn’t write it down and have no earthly idea what it was.) Just know that it WASN’T the classic Mickey wakeup call. And that makes me very angry, earthling, very angry indeed. Makes me want to shoot the phone with my explosive space modulator.

Isn't anything better than a screaming toddler waking you up?

If not, I hear throwing it across the room works.

I have a big bowl of oatmeal, a big cup of coffee, a big morning constitutional, and I’m ready to go. I rip out the Animal Kingdom touring plan and walk out the door.

"Little" just won't do in Disney. Especially after BIG buffets.

I walk over to the main building. No Official Port Orleans French Quarter Door Openers this morning. No personal serenading. Dammit.

Just about ruined the morning, did it?

Then I walk to the bus stop. Sure, there are other guests here. But when the Animal Kingdom bus comes, I am the only one getting on. And when I step inside, I am the only one on the bus (besides the driver of course).

I thought maybe you might say it was new attraction- Disney Busses. Negotiate the roads and see how lost you can get. Most guests guests won't even come close to Hucifer's high score.

I read once that a good rule of thumb is to visit a park the day after it has Extra Magic Hours. The psychology being that people aren’t going to visit a park two days in a row. Let me tell you I have tested this theory, with some mixed results. But overall I do think it is a good idea.

hmmmm..... maybe, but I try to hit EVERY EMH, then get too lazy to hop.

b), the last time I was here, EE was open but I was pregnant and therefore unable to ride.

So glad you could have THIS one all to yourself!!!

It absolutely killed me to stand there and watch hundreds of roller coaster riders zoom past me, screaming in joyous terror, while I waited 45 minutes for my mom and sister to ride the thing. I do remember showing some poor woman next to me pictures of my unborn baby to pass the time.

You SAT there while they rode. I'd have been like, "See ya later!". They should have paid you to shop while they rode!

Well, THIS was my time. The next thing I knew I was getting into a train car and buckling my belt.

That it was! WAHOO! Ever wonder how a steam train with no steam goes that fast, though?

It was a sensation I have never, ever experienced before. It was exhilarating! I was whooping and laughing and loving every backwards moment of it.

Out of context, that might sound pretty wild indeed!

Not a bad way to make up for lost time, says I.

Definitely NOT! 3 times is a pretty good showing!

I indeed DO have a small child, but since he isn’t with me I decide to skip this step. Proceed to Dinosaur, the next step says. Okay, if you insist.

So, now instead of the fam guiding your moves, you're letting a book?!

Now, they are not the loud and obnoxious brats I’ve been reading about. In fact, they all seemed very polite and organized.

Glad to hear this! I've only read horror stories.

Okay, I’ll step into Dinoland now.

I'm sorry. I'll follow, but I'm sorry.

So I’m approaching the Dinosaur building when I see a woman taking a picture of her family in front of the Dinosaur statue.

I'm sure this is going somewhere....

Hold up, let me say something else first.

Ok, here it comes...

Since this is my first solo adventure, one thing I promised myself before I even stepped on the airplane in Michigan was that I would enjoy Disney in a different way. Since I was alone, I could come and go on my schedule. But it was also the chance to stop a lot along the way. Notice the details. Talk to the cast members. Be extra kind to the guests…which included offering to take group photos.

YOu should definitely read my Trip Tenets and our Constitution... We put it in writing!

But only if they had a simple point-and-shoot camera. No cameras with complicated aperture features or f-stops or telephoto lenses or doohickies or whachamacallits or anything.

Ooooohh, I'm impressed! camera,a;lkae;h, features, a;eka;fasndlskerlk, lenses, aweohsdknsu.

“I guess,” she says, sighing. Like posing won’t be too much of a bother. Like it would be my privilege to do so. She hands me the camera and walks over to the rest of her group in front of the statue.

did you remind her she's in Disney? Did you kindly suggest she get snack to curb the crabbies? or smack her upside the head?

But I don’t let her strange flippant attitude ruin my mood. I have everyone remove their shoes and step in the fountain (ancient European tradition, you know), and I get ready to take the shot.

What a great way to make off with some shoes! You could hock them in Dinoland. Or use them on Whack-a-Mole. maybe they wouldn't charge you $2.50 a game if you bring your own shoe?

This is when karma bites me on the butt.

Ouch!

I put away my notepad and toss the pen in the nearest trash receptacle. Now I can’t even vent about the not being able to vent. Then I wait in line behind sea of orange.

Next time, better bring a 6 pack of pens- just for venting.

 

[NMAmy]

Supporter.

An Amy is faithful, 100%. (Just carrying on the Dr. Seuss theme there.)

I'm still trying to figure out how you arrived at that nickname.

Me, too.

Was that...words of encouragement? Niceness? From LOU?

Shh...don't spread it around but Lou has a heart of gold.

Or write an angrily written letter to the CEO.

That'll teach 'em.

I have a big bowl of oatmeal, a big cup of coffee, a big morning constitutional, and I’m ready to go.

TMI, pal.

I rip out the Animal Kingdom touring plan and walk out the door.

Oh, for pete's sake. She's got a touring plan. Have I taught you nothing?

No Official Port Orleans French Quarter Door Openers this morning.

Hold the phone here. Someone runs around opening doors for you at Port Orleans? That is such a sweet deal! Well, when it's actually happening.

Then I walk to the bus stop. Sure, there are other guests here. But when the Animal Kingdom bus comes, I am the only one getting on. And when I step inside, I am the only one on the bus (besides the driver of course).

Weird. That always makes me nervous. Like I'm going to get there and someone's going to say, "Park's closed. Moose out front should've told ya."

He goes to the first stop, opens the doors, and waits. No one gets on. He takes off. Go to the next Riverside stop: repeat. Go to the third stop: no one is there. Go to the final Riverside bus stop: doors open, we wait, doors close, and we’re off to Animal Kingdom – me and my personal driver. On a big honking bus.

I'm picturing people at the bus stop whispering to the bus driver, "Hey, is that naked lady on the bus again? No, we're good, we'll catch the next one."

No one to blame for the smell but myself.[/CENTER]

I have dressy clothes for dinner with me and I really don’t feel like carrying them around with me all day.

Well, now I'm quite curious as to where you're eating dinner that requires a costume change into fancy duds.

I do remember showing some poor woman next to me pictures of my unborn baby to pass the time.

That’s when I run into a man who is holding the Unofficial Guide touring plan in his hand too. I make a comment about it and he tells me that his family has been using it for their vacation and so far they haven’t waited in line for more than twenty minutes. That was good news, I thought.

Ah, there are more like you.

And, as if mocking the Touring Plan Gods, I figure what the heck, and I jump into line with the rest of the park. I’m pulling a Toy Story Mania again…getting a FastPass and jumping in line.

That's just crazy talk, deviating from the plan is madness, madness, I tell you!

But, unlike Toy Story, this line was literally five minutes. The next thing I knew I was getting into a train car and buckling my belt.

Or, lots and lots of fun! Imagine that.

…until the thing shot backwards and up. It was a sensation I have never, ever experienced before. It was exhilarating! I was whooping and laughing and loving every backwards moment of it.

I love it but it's the only rollercoaster that makes me dizzy.

So I do what any red-blooded American would do. As soon as I get off, I get right back in line again.

I do envy you for being able to do that!

I consulted my touring plans.

Sigh. And the Born to Be Wild Music scratches to a halt.

“I guess,” she says, sighing. Like posing won’t be too much of a bother. Like it would be my privilege to do so.

I've run into some people like that. It's as though they're doing me a huge favor by indulging my weird picture taking habits. I rate them right up there with people who look at you like you're a shady aluminum siding salesman when you're trying to give them a free fast pass. It's FREE. I promise! No catch!

I have everyone remove their shoes and step in the fountain (ancient European tradition, you know),

Maybe she thought you were planning on stealing their shoes.

This is when karma bites me on the butt. In exchange for bothering this poor woman and her tired family, an entire Brazilian tour group in orange t-shirts walks right by me as I’m holding the camera up to my face. All ten thousand of them walk into the Dinosaur building.

That'll teach you.

I snap the picture, watch the mob of tourists cram themselves in the building like stuffing into a Thanksgiving turkey, then hand the camera back over to her. She mumbles a “thanks,” like she doesn’t really mean it, and I follow the orange t-shirts through the doorway.

Sigh. Wendy, Wendy, Wendy. When a tour group shows up, you ditch your touring plan--just for a little bit, really, you can have it back soon--and ride Primeval Whirl or something while you're waiting for Dinosaur to clear out.

In line, I pull out my trusty notepad and hotel pen and angrily scribble in it. Stupid lousy woman…like it was my job to take her freaking picture…why I ought to send her an angrily written letter or something… Then my cheap hotel pen sputters and dies right there in the middle of a sentence. Crap. I can’t even finish my vent now.

Oh, that's frustrating.

Coming up: Part 2. Lone Ride Nazi Slays Entire Crowd Single-Handedly. Story at 11.

Were they all wearing orange shirts?