How young is too young to get married?

[lovepurple]

I don't think it is the age that matters, it is the maturity level. I was 18 and DH was 19 when we got married. My son got married this past January and he is 21 and his wife is also 21. I think they both have good heads on their shoulders. My daughter is getting married Saturday and I think she is making a big mistake. She is 20 and her BF is 25 and they are both immature. They both will admit to that. But I can't make her decisions for her and I can only hope for the best.

 

[Amy&Dan]

You have really gotten some very good answers!

I'll concur that each couple is different.

Can you be too young/immature to be married? Of course.

Can you be too old and set in your ways to easily adapt to being married? Yep.

It works both ways.

For some unknown reason, my husband's cousin (who is 50 and never been married and not dated in decades that I know of) is very against marriage before age 30. She's always telling my kids (who are 13 and 15 for gosh sake) not to rush into marriage. And I always tell her the same thing. It just can't be that there is a magic age to get married. And I also add what my mom used to say that she was glad she and my dad married young. Because he died very young and had they waited, they would have less time to be together.

Bottom line, tell your parents that in the end, you will make your decisions, the good ones, the bad ones and the ones in between. And tell them to be thankful you and your bf are waiting to finish college. Not everyone does so they should be happy for that!

Live your life, you only get one.

 

[JoShan1719]

Success in marriage is not so much about one's age as it is one's attitude. What's your attitude about marriage? Is it a covenant (until death do us part) or a contract (where's my attorney)? Is it about me (I deserve to be happy) or the other person? Is it about "falling" in love or choosing to love? Is it about finding "Mr. Right" or accepting my fiance' for who they are?

How you answer these kind of questions will determine your success in marriage...not your age.

I think this was awesome advice! These are the things DH and I thought about before we got married. We were engaged after three years, and married on our fifth anniversary. We also lived together for four years. I know that option isn't for everyone but it was the best option for us. I wouldn't change a thing. We've gone through tough times, but we've done them together, as a team. We have a lot of changing to do still. I'd say to do what's best for you. You may want to consider waiting until your schooling is done, though. Even the cheapest wedding can be expensive.

 

[Arielle22]

I agree with this statement. I was 22 when I got married, I didn't think it was too young then and I still don't think it is too young. We just celebrated our 19th anniversary. I'm not really sure where you would put us statistically though as we got married early May and my birthday is May 23 so about 2 weeks after we got married I turned 23. I'm not sure if that puts us in the 70% category or 30% category for divorce (planning on the 0% category)!!

My wedding was 2 days before my 20th birthday and DH was 22. This year is our 25th.

My sister and her DH met when he was 16 and she was 18. They married when she was 30 and have now been married 7 years.

I tell our daughters (14 and 16) that I would like them to wait longer than we did. Not because I want them to date others or have grand adventures by themselves but I want them to finish college first. I went to college at night and it took me a long long time to get my degree.

 

[Explodo]

My honest answer?

30 years old.

This allows both parties to do the things they dream of doing BEFORE they become a unit and certain dreams and hopes are sacrificed. Learning how to be responsible, learning how to be selfless, Learning how to endure day to day life takes experience...not education(meaning those things can't be taught but have to be experienced). This takes time...30 years is about right.

 

[DisneyAngel83]

Honestly I believe its all about who you are personally and where you are in your life. DH and I got married when we had both graduated college. I was 22 and turned 23 the next month, he was 25 and turned 26 a couple months later. We got married right after some friends of ours and a year or more before most of our peers. We were definently ready... college was all the life experience we needed to get started and we have since kept steady jobs, bought a house, and started to build a business together.

On the flip side, friends who got married after us are now having kids, and we are probably a few more years away from that, emotionally and financially. I was never more ready to get married, but the next step is a little scarier to me for whatever reason.

My sister-in-law on the other hand who is less than year younger than me would like to get married, but is dating someone who at my age (27) has already been married and divorced and really doesn't seem to want that right now, so she is still not married, but then again, most of her friends are not married either.

Now we are 4 years later and I don't think we got married too young at all. We are gaining life experience together and we have luckily been very stable in our married life so far!