How would you take this

sasywtch

DIS Veteran
Joined
May 16, 2008
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2,523
Bad, bad day at work today and yesterday. 52 years old and broke down crying in front of people today.
I got an email from my lead yesterday and would like to know if I'm being too sensitive or how the normal person would take this...

Me (after some back/forth on some applications), do you want me to follow up or do you?
Lead-Since you have already previously talked with her, please follow thru with the request that xxx (ex manager) asked you to do awhile back.

This is a person who doesn't like being wrong, won't admit to being wrong, doing anything wrong and likes to take a dig every once in awhile.
I'm not going to say anymore as I'd like just off the top opinions on her comment to me.
 
Bad, bad day at work today and yesterday. 52 years old and broke down crying in front of people today.
I got an email from my lead yesterday and would like to know if I'm being too sensitive or how the normal person would take this...

Me (after some back/forth on some applications), do you want me to follow up or do you?
Lead-Since you have already previously talked with her, please follow thru with the request that xxx (ex manager) asked you to do awhile back.

This is a person who doesn't like being wrong, won't admit to being wrong, doing anything wrong and likes to take a dig every once in awhile.
I'm not going to say anymore as I'd like just off the top opinions on her comment to me.

not sure how I would take it, but it seems a lot is missing in order to make an informed decision. But it does seem like she is coming off as saying that if you had done what was requested of you before hand, that what happened may not have occurred :confused3. That is what I take from it, :hug:
 
Things in writing can be so hard to interpret sometimes!

Could she be saying "Yes, since you've already initiated contact go ahead and follow through. XXX put it on your plate and I'm fine with having it stay there. - ?"
 
If this was earlier in the day, I'd wait awhile before responding but since it's 11pm and I'm suppose to be at work at 7am, guess I'd better go to sleep. I think I'm going to be having an awful day at work tomorrow.

What you said is exactly how I took it and I believe, how she meant it.
This happens quite often. Blames me for having something on my desk and then finds it on hers and then says....I found it (as if it was outside or something;)

What happened was a year ago while doing my work, I found some descrepencies with a lot of work being submitted from a certain area of the country. I started doing some investigating and things were really not right to where some licenses may be taken away in another state. (with the knowledge of xmanager and lead) When my big boss found out I was doing this, she told my xmanager to give it all to the lead as my position didn't call for this. I admit, I was a little put off, sucked it up but what can one do so I wrote up in detail to the lead and cc'd xmanager what I found, what I did and my last line was..
"This is where I was informed that you and xx(ex manager) would handle. I did not get ahold of xxxx at xxx hospital to send a letter."
This was May 13, 2009


That was what my lead was refering to when she said, that xmanager asked you to do awhile back. (April 20, 2010)
Seems to me that the big boss had me turn this all over to her last year and SHE didn't follow through. Another suck it up. Her digs are starting to get at me. She likes people who follow her like puppy dogs, don't question, take the "cause I said so" answers. If I'm calling someone back or sending them a letter denying their license, I like to know the law that I'm refering to and not a "cause I said so". Do you know how much fun it is to work for the state, deny someone licensure, they ask why and you say, "it's Board policy" but you don't know exactly what law it is because you are going after the "cause I said so" mantra of your lead? ***the lead isn't a supervisor or manager position, she makes about $100 more a month than I do. I don't know if anyone read my response in the administrative aid/secretary day today (or whatever it's called) but this is the same person who yelled at me today for adding a comma to make a letter correct. I had the audacity (?sp) to ask a coworker who has a BA in english if a second comma should go in there as I was thinking it would. She refused to sign it because she hadn't put the second comma in there and only wanted the one. (i created the letter, gave it to her to proof since I put her signature on it and she added a ,however, (normally I don't do letters for someone but this was a training thing for me and it was the above reference letter and the manager thought it best that it have the lead's signature on it).

My manager would have said, good job Sasy for finding that mistake as she would rather her letters go out correctly. The lead would rather something go out wrong that say "good job" to someone. No offense to anyone but I'd rather work with men.
 

OR, it could mean, 'since you are already involved in this one, you take it.'
 
The comment definitely sounded snarky but I can't think of a correct response to make the person see they could have handled the situation better. I think it was probably everything rolled into one that made you extra sensitive to this comment. Nothing wrong with that, nobody likes being belittled.
 
I don't know all the "other stuff" going on but from just that email line I would say it's just someone being a jerk. It wouldn't upset me. Her/His problem.
I am sorry it upset you and like I said, I don't know all the history with the person.

By the way I am a big believer in Feelings can't be wrong or right. You felt upset and while they may have thought overreaction- they are not in your shoes. Your feelings are not wrong. (perhaps how you express them can be- but not the feeling itself)
Don't beat yourself up. It's over. :hug:
 
Personally, I'm a big believer in following orders from a superior. Especially if:
  • The orders are in writing
  • The orders come from an incompetent, snarky superior
  • I know the orders are wrong and I have evidence that I informed the superior that they were wrong
It takes patience, but if anyone were to try to blame me for something going out wrong, I now have my evidence that I tried but was overruled. Managers can now talk to the dimwit who insisted that I do it their way.

If your lead is saying "cause I said so", then that's your reason for turning someone down: "My lead license-giver, Shirley Jones, informed me that you can't be licensed. If you'd like to discuss the matter with Shirley Jones, her number is...."

OP, do what you can to not make it personal. I know the feeling of wanting to do a great job and the chagrin that comes with being overruled on that desire. However, I also know the feeling of being proven right after waiting for six months to a year.

It takes patience but eventually the snarky know-it-all gets theirs.
 






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