How would you react if this was your ds? oops again

[The Edgington's]

My son was invited to a boy/girl bday party this past weekend. It was at a local pool. I decided to stay since it didn't look like there was adequate supervision for all of the kids (he's 6). After swimming I changed him in the women's locker room as I do not let him go into restrooms or locker rooms alone. He was playing with other boys in the hall waiting for cake time. One of the boys said to him "go into the girls locker room" he did and a mother of a 3 year old girl drug him out by the arm and yelled "tell your mom what you did" all the other parents and kids were there. He was humiliated while he told me and wanted to go home. I wanted to let her have it with both barrels but restrained because of the kids. After the fact it makes me sick to my stomach that I didn't at least pull her aside and let her know that was unacceptable. I talked to my bil who is a local sheriff and he said it would be considered assault especially if it had left a mark on his arm. He is easily talked into things and I know he shouldn't have done it but he's 6 and the girls were 6 and under. Plus he was just in there to change and there are no doors blocking the entrance. I've thought about calling the mother who's child had the party to try and find out who she is so I can ask her how she would feel if a stranger did that to her child. Am I over reacting?

Sorry this is so long, but it really upset me and is still bugging me days later. I feel I failed my son by not standing up for him and that to me is unacceptable.

 

[Thediskids]

I would feel the same as you. I have a very pursuadable 6 year old boy as well. She had no right to touch your son, she should have just asked him to leave nicely which is what I would have done if I was the mother and not made a big deal about it, this is how children learn from their mistakes, not being shamed and ambarrassed by them. And if she was still bothered just pulled you aside and say he made an unwelcomed appearance in the ladies room.

My heart aches for my kids when they get ambarrassed and have their feelings hurt.

 

[aplejax76]

That women was totally out of line!!!!!!!! She had NO RIGHT to touch your son. I do not think you are overeacting. That must have been awful for your son. I know if it was me I would try and contact this lady and tell her what she did was very wrong. Did she leave marks on your son? I understand that you did not want to make the situation worse at the time. Don't beat yourself up over it. I would try and talk to her now though.

 

[MrsPete]

One of the boys said to him "go into the girls locker room" he did and a mother of a 3 year old girl drug him out by the arm and yelled "tell your mom what you did" all the other parents and kids were there. He was humiliated while he told me and wanted to go home.

He walked into the ladies' room. He was wrong. He deserved to be led out of the room, but he did not deserve to be humiliated. I think way too much is being made of the "hands on my child" thing. He was led out of the room -- he was not spanked or hit in any way. Would you have objected if she'd taken his arm and directed him to the cake table?

You said that no adults were changing --what about children? Suppose a little girl in his class at school was naked at the time? That would change my opinion significantly!

It's too bad you didn't talk to the woman at the party. It's entirely possible that something else happened of which you're not aware -- or it's entirely possible that her perception of the situation was different. A little bit of unemotional communication can often smooth these things out altogether.

 

[39CINDERELLA]

He walked into the ladies' room. He was wrong. He deserved to be led out of the room, but he did not deserve to be humiliated. I think way too much is being made of the "hands on my child" thing. He was led out of the room -- he was not spanked or hit in any way. Would you have objected if she'd taken his arm and directed him to the cake table?

WOW-WHAT CAN YOU SAY TO A PERSON LIKE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[pamlet]

I think it was wrong for her to over react - your son probably would have skedaddled if she had just said sternly... "What are you doing in here... The boys room is next door"

I think she should have shooed him out - but that was over reacting.

By the way - I remember when my son was about 7 we were on our way to Disney driving through the night. I was driving and my husband was asleep. I stopped at a truck stop, and DS had to go to the bathroom as well. He argued with me about going into the ladies room. There were two ladies in there who reassured him that it was MUCH safer for him to be in there with me... I think we have to protect our little ones!