How would you handle this?

[andromedaslove]

Ok, here's my problem. My DH's godparents always send me emails. Usually, they are funny or sweet chain mail type things. However, recently I have gotten a few that leave a really bad taste in my mouth. One was bashing gays and the latest was bashing muslims. I don't really like getting them. I have already mentioned it to DH and we are gonna talk more about it later, but I was curious how you guys would handle it. They really are nice people, and I don't want to do anything to make them uncomfortable, but I hate when people send me political stuff like this.

I already have permission from DH to send out a polite email to his aunts telling them that I don't agree with their feelings on abortion and letting them know how uncomfortable those emails make me. Could I do the same thing here and not hurt anyone's feelings?

 

[DVC Jen]

Maybe you could simply tell them you would love to hear from THEM..but your email box is overflowing with forwards and chain emails so you are asking "everyone" to stop forwarding you things. Then remind them that you still would love to hear from them directly..just not the forwarded "pass this on" type of email.

 

[Beth76]

Can you just delete them? I got a very disturbing email from an old friend of mine that was essentially bashing gays. Had no idea that she felt like that. I wanted to email her back telling her not to send anything else like that but I decided to just let it go. She's not someone that I see in person anymore and I didn't really want to get into it with someone who obviously felt very different from me on the subject. Although, this was only a one-time thing. I suppose if it was a common occurrance I might feel differently.

Although honestly, I don't really see a problem with you telling them not to send them to you. It shouldn't hurt their feelings. It shouldn't be up to your husband either.

 

[andromedaslove]

It isn't really that its "UP" to my husband. I am perfectly capable of making a decision on my own. However, they are his godparents and he knows them much better than I do, and therefore can better gauge how they will react. Hence, why I want to discuss this with him first. Also, if I get his agreement (like the email to his aunts) then if they get upset it doesn't just fall back on me I have some back up, KWIM. I would expect the same thing from him if he were to have an issue with someone in my family.

 

[NMAmy]

I'd just delete them myself.

It's kind of a joke in my family--my mom, my sisters, and I are all great big Democrats. We find it rather hysterical when my aunt sends us Republican slanted forwards. I think she's trying to convert us. I love her but I hate the forwards. I just delete them.

 

[mickeyfan2]

I just delete them and let it go at that.

 

[andromedaslove]

See, that's where I run into trouble. I think I am the ONLY one in the family who isn't a great big Republican. I guess at times I feel like I am being bombarded with thier political views.

 

[swanmom]

MY FIL does this all the time. But, I can tell from the email heading whether the email has already been 'forwarded' or if it's an emaill he created and sent.
If it's 'forwarded' material, I just delete it. If it's from him directly, then I open it.....that way I don't miss any chatty or family news email but avoid the internet 'pass-arounds.' I did choose this instead of confronting him about the nature of some of his emails because he's 78 years old and that 'opinion horse' has already left the barn!

 

[lulugirl]

I would just delete them.

 

[minkydog]

since this is someone you all know and love, i would not send an email, but would approach them directly. Email is impersonal and can convey a feeling of animosity to the reciever. You can't express tone of voice or facial expression. Just take them aside next time you see them, and tell them that you love hearing from them, but that you don't enjoy gay jokes or racial jokes or political papers. If they continue, then know that your just on the "list" and delete it if you love these people.

 

[LiteBrite]

I don't think it's worth the potential hurt feelings. It's very easy to just delete an email, but it's not so easy to get a relationship back on the right track after somebody's been hurt (whether you meant to hurt them or not). Maybe nothing bad would happen if you told them, but it wouldn't be worth it to me to take the chance. Just ignore and delete the emails.

 

[disykat]

I have found if I just delete and never respond to forwards, people stop sending them.

 

[DVC Sadie]

Maybe you could simply tell them you would love to hear from THEM..but your email box is overflowing with forwards and chain emails so you are asking "everyone" to stop forwarding you things. Then remind them that you still would love to hear from them directly..just not the forwarded "pass this on" type of email.

ITA !! This is the kindest and gentlest way IMO.

 

[DLBDS]

Maybe you could simply tell them you would love to hear from THEM..but your email box is overflowing with forwards and chain emails so you are asking "everyone" to stop forwarding you things. Then remind them that you still would love to hear from them directly..just not the forwarded "pass this on" type of email.

This approach worked for me.

 

[disneymom3]

I have the other side of it. I am pretty conservative and while I am not very political, you could never call me a democrat. A friend of mine used to send me all this way liberal stuff in emails and I would just delete, but it irked me. (Especially cause I could have sworn she knew where I stood and I respected where she stood and left it alone.) Anyway, then last fall she sent me one that had to do with Biblical and political stuff mixed together. That one pushed me over the edge. I actually responded to her with how the things quoted were taken out of context etc. and then asked why on earth she would send me something like that. She apologized and I haven't gotten any more from her. Our friendship is just fine.

 

[Stitchfans]

I just delete them and let it go at that.

I agree with this. why start a problem or hard feelings?

 

[luvdzne]

Someone posted this on another thread, I thought it was cute, and gets the message out in a funny way. I have actually sent this to a friend of mine who everyday sends me at least 4 of them. I must say, she must have got the message because I haven't received any from her in over a week

www.softlab.ece.ntua.gr/~sivann/pub/swf/may02-smilepop-soapbox4.swf

 

[Disney Duck]

I would say something, personally. These e-mails are obviously bothering you enough to not just delete them. If you keep accepting them without saying anything, they will assume you agree with their views. Just send them a quick note saying letting them know in some way that these sorts of jokes offend you and you'd rather not receive them. You could say, "I love hearing from you but I'd rather not receive jokes like this." I guess I see dealing with things head on and honestly as more beneficial than ignoring the problem.