How to tell if someone is really in need?

[MulanUSAF]

Earlier this evening, I was picking up a pizza from a shopping center with a gas station when I was approached by an elderly woman who was semi-hysterical that she discovered she had lost her wallet and was begging for gas money so she can get to her destination about 4 hours away. She didn't look homeless or crazy and was in tears. I asked her if she wants me to call the cops for help and she said she has a cell phone, but just need some money for gas. So I gave her ten bucks and bid her a good day. She was walking toward the gas station when I pulled out of the parking lot.

When I got home, I told my mom about the incident and my mom thinks she was a fraud and I shouldn't have given her a dime. I figured she might be a fraud, but then again, she might really be in a tight situation and needed a little help.

Anyways, what would you have done if you were in my shoes? What would you look for to distinguish between a fraud or someone who really needs help?

 

[FireDancer]

I have a similar story. I was at a gas station and a man came up stating that he was out of gas and needed some cash to get back to Columbus (from Cleveland) and if I can spare any money he would appreciate it. I sensed it was a scam and didn't give him any cash. About a month later at a different gas station in town the exact same guy with the exact same story comes up and goes through the whole thing again.

I called him out on it this time and he just left.

I'm not sure if your case was real or not but I have come to trust my BS-meter.

 

[wdwmom0f3]

We had the same thing happen to us at a Cracker Barrel a few weeks ago. We actually didn't have any cash on us at the time (paying with debit card) so we couldn't help the couple. Once we got inside, we over heard someone else saying that it's probably a scam.

It's tough, because you really would like to help those in need, but you don't want to be taken advantage of either.

I am not sure what I will do in the future when approached by someone.

 

[Tinker'n'Fun]

Earlier this evening, I was picking up a pizza from a shopping center with a gas station when I was approached by an elderly woman who was semi-hysterical that she discovered she had lost her wallet and was begging for gas money so she can get to her destination about 4 hours away. She didn't look homeless or crazy and was in tears. I asked her if she wants me to call the cops for help and she said she has a cell phone, but just need some money for gas. So I gave her ten bucks and bid her a good day. She was walking toward the gas station when I pulled out of the parking lot.

When I got home, I told my mom about the incident and my mom thinks she was a fraud and I shouldn't have given her a dime. I figured she might be a fraud, but then again, she might really be in a tight situation and needed a little help.

Anyways, what would you have done if you were in my shoes? What would you look for to distinguish between a fraud or someone who really needs help?

If the $10.00 was not a hardship on yourself, then I think you did the right thing. It's tough now, people are really crafty and deceiving, but on the flip-side, so many are unexpectedly needy and don't know how to adjust and get the help they need.

If I were you I would sleep well tonight. You did what you think is a good thing. That's what matters.

 

[terri01p]

 

[pearlieq]

I don't think you can ever really know. You just look at the whole situation, make your best judgment, and then pray that your actions bring about some good somehow.

If $10 isn't something you're going to miss, I'd say it's a small price to pay for the chance to help someone. You're not only buying her some gas, but helping restore her faith that the world isn't as cold and scary as we hear it is sometimes.

 

[perkydizbride]

I work at a hospital in a pretty bad area.
I often stop for coffee on my way in, which is usually around 6:30pm.

One night a woman approached me in the store, asking to buy her a sandwich, so I did.

A few days later, she's outside, saying she has a proposition for me. Whatever it was, i told her I was late for work.

A few more days later, she was outside again, following me to my car.

I know I can't provide for all of those who need help - because if I did, who would pay my mortgage.. but seriously? She didn't even act like she recognized me.

I called the coffee shop on the 3rd meeting. I couldn't understand his accent, but I think he said he would ask her to stop bothering the customers.

I called the police as well. I didn't want a call back from the officer who would go to the shop in the future.. I just wanted to make a difference. I felt threatened by her with the way she followed me to my car.

How many other 'nice' people helped this woman, who seemingly would not be improving her bad luck any time soon if she was always 'working' at this coffee shop and not a different job.

 

[AllyBri]

There is a Borders Book Store in Orlando, we see the same woman asking for money (in the parking lot) to get back home. We have seen her about 6 times now.

The first time we gave her money, so the next time I see her, I said, you're still here? She says, I don't have enough money yet

 

[eduk8r26]

In my town there are always people standing on corners with a sign saying they are homeless. Sometimes they are well-dressed and clean, but always there. And it's always the same people. I wonder if they really are homeless.

 

[dakcp2001]

I got hit up in the Target parking lot by 4 people before I made it to my car today. They were all in their teens, all selling Fiddle Faddle for some vague fundraiser for the needy and all extremely aggressive. I said no TY to the first 3 then when I asked for some credentials & the name of the organization with the fourth, the teen ran away.I called the police who informed me they had been chasing this family away for days but they keep showing up. I stayed and watched, they were selling Fiddle Faddle for 8 bucks a box and didnt have any way to make change, so many people ended up getting 1 box for a 10 or 2 for a 20. Um no thanks! The police told me they were making a killing.

 

[perkydizbride]

Gotta get me some fiddle faddle and set myself up then!

Geez louise!

 

[meloneyb21]

There is a Borders Book Store in Orlando, we see the same woman asking for money (in the parking lot) to get back home. We have seen her about 6 times now.

The first time we gave her money, so the next time I see her, I said, you're still here? She says, I don't have enough money yet

 

[bgirldeb]

My husband was approached at a gas station here last week by a threatening guy asking for money to help him get back to Tampa (we're in a suburb). He said he only had 1.50 and needed to get to Tampa. When DH honestly told him he didn't have any cash the guy got angry with him.

 

[SandrA9810]

It's a popular scam.

See their car is out of gas down the street... so you can't just add a few bucks to a pump inside (pay the attendant directly).

There's a few "regulars" that would ask for money outside of the Race Trac on 192 next to Walmart, with the same sob story. I always paid with my debit card for everything. It was rare to have cash on me, so no one ever got my money "the first time". I think after 2 or 3 times they stopped asking me.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Earlier this evening, I was picking up a pizza from a shopping center with a gas station when I was approached by an elderly woman who was semi-hysterical that she discovered she had lost her wallet and was begging for gas money so she can get to her destination about 4 hours away. She didn't look homeless or crazy and was in tears. I asked her if she wants me to call the cops for help and she said she has a cell phone, but just need some money for gas. So I gave her ten bucks and bid her a good day. She was walking toward the gas station when I pulled out of the parking lot.

When I got home, I told my mom about the incident and my mom thinks she was a fraud and I shouldn't have given her a dime. I figured she might be a fraud, but then again, she might really be in a tight situation and needed a little help.

Anyways, what would you have done if you were in my shoes? What would you look for to distinguish between a fraud or someone who really needs help?

Laughed at her and said nice scam.

How to tell? People in need do not beg strangers for gas money to get somewhere.

 

[MichelleVW]

Laughed at her and said nice scam.

How to tell? People in need do not beg strangers for gas money to get somewhere.

Exactly...especially if she had a cell phone.

 

[Pluto 2]

it was defintely a scam. if it was real the lady would of ask for your address to send the money back to you. she could of ask for your address and it could still be a scam of course. but since she didnt ask it was defintely a scam.

 

[Disney Ella]

It can be hard to tell if someone really needs help and if you ignore them, you wonder if you've become too cynical.

When I worked in Baltimore, a man approached me, told me he had been mugged and asked for money. He had blood on one side of his face and I had seen another man get mugged in that same area a few months before. I only had a $1, which I gave to him, and he said at least it would get him on the bus. (That's what the bus cost then.) Of course, I guess he could have put fake blood on himself, but it looked real to me.

About 20 years ago, DH and I used to take the train to see friends who lived in NYC. One Saturday morning, we were walking through Penn Station and saw a young women, neatly groomed, dressed in a suit, holding a suitcase and begging people to give her money because she said she'd been mugged. She seemed sincere, but DH and I were still suspicious. Two months later, there she was again with the same story.

 

[MarkBarbieri]

I usually offer to help. I'll call someone for them. I'll help change a tire. Stuff like that. What I never ever do is give anyone cash. Once that becomes clear, they never need any more help from me.

 

[punkin]

Laughed at her and said nice scam.

How to tell? People in need do not beg strangers for gas money to get somewhere.

When I was a teen (many, many years ago) I came up $.03 short for my subway fare home. I asked people standing in line (very embarrassing) and one lady gave me a nickel. So yes it does happen. I guess I wasn't technically "in need" in the sense of being poor, but I sure felt grateful that lady took pity on a dumb teen who misplaced her fare home and couldn't scrounge up quite enough from her pockets.