How to tell if someone is really in need?

[bumbershoot]

I figure there's no good way to tell, so if you want to give something to someone, go for it, and don't think much more about it. Well, unless you see that they are always there, always giving the same story, etc. Hubby is very generous with people, but if he's not recognized the second or third time he gives something, and if the person's story should have changed but hasn't ("I need gas to get home"), he won't give anymore, and will tell them they need a new story.

How to tell? People in need do not beg strangers for gas money to get somewhere.

What do people in need of gas do, then?

Unless her wallet was stolen she most likely had a credit card or debit card that she could have used to purchase gas.

...she discovered she had lost her wallet

If you've lost your wallet and that's where you keep your cards, then you don't have other cards.


Sure, "I need gas to get xyz" is a common scam, but that doesn't mean ALL people who say it are scammers. Some of them have to be real.

I once saw a panhandler at an intersection with a sign that simply said that he was a drunk and needed to buy wine. It was very sad and refreshingly honest all at the same time.

There's a guy in Seattle who has had a variation of that for a couple years now. We'll even give him money sometimes, b/c at least he's honest. Or has come up with a good hook.

If I want to give the money I do. What they do with it after is none of my concern. If they do buy food because they're hungry, great. If they buy drugs or alcohol, that's on them. I've never been homeless or lived on the streets, so I'm not going to judge people who do and how they learn to deal with their situation. I just thank God I'm not in their shoes, give them the money and move along. And I don't feel stupid for having tried to help someone. My heart is in the right place, so to me, that's what matters most.

That's where I've gotten to. I used to be very stingy with this sort of thing, and felt the need to curtail my husband from being generous. But I've noticed that we do better when we are a bit more generous with things like this.

We do it simply because we are humans and they are humans, and any of us could run into problems.



While on a road trip recently, after the big and unseasonal snows in this area, there was a man at an exit with a little dog in his jacket. He did look down on his luck, and his sign read "just hungry". Since we were on a road trip we had food. So I quickly got a bunch of cookies (the Trader Joes chocolate covered "dunkers", YUM) and a banana or two, wrapped them in a napkin, and we handed them out to him (the exit took a long time and we hadn't gotten up to him yet, so he walked down to our car). He was SO grateful.

When we got up to him, he was eating a cookie, and gave us the thumbs up sign.

DS is just sad, still, that we didn't have any dog food for the little dog.