nurse.darcy
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Feb 16, 2007
such a great line!!!
when i first was informed that my marriage was over i was truly devastated. i have always been the man in my extended family where others had turned to for help and solace when they were experiencing troubled times, so when i was going through my breakup i was so amazed and gratified with the support i recieved from everyone. the support was so overwhelming that i truly started to realize, slowly of course, that i was a good person and i shouldnt be so down on life in general. when you receive incredible support form the ex-spouses own family you really start to feel better.
as the hurt passed i decided that i was not going to let this ruin my life. i almost let my depression cost me my long time job, so i woke up an realized i had to take control. i took what happened to me and placed it in its own little compartment, like darcy mentioned, and started to move on with my life.
then the anger started creeping into my life. any time i had felt anger like i was feeling the outcome was never ever any good. it usually made things much worse. anger clouds the rational mind like nothing else. so i refused to give in to it. i am better then that. this was a major realization for me. it was always easy to give into anger, it is harder not to give into anger.
i looked in the mirror and i liked the person i saw there. i still had the love of my sons, still had my job and my health was better then it has been in years. so it was now time to go out into the world and be me. it was odd that after giving my all for so many years and someone gives it back you usually dont feel good about yourself but i did feel good. people would ask me how much weight did i lose and i told them 35 pounds and 130 pounds. they look at me and say 165 pounds and i laugh and tell them i personally lost 35 pounds and i lost 130 pounds off of my back.
so after time i went out into the world and somehow, call it fate or just dumb luck, i met that special person. if i had given in to the anger and let it overtake me i would have never seen her there and would have missed out on what is becoming a very happy time in my life.
strangely i did ask my ex, if she was surprised at my reaction to her telling me she wanted a divorce. she said yes she was and was expecting me to react in a rather nasty and angry nature. i told her that after so many years she never really got to know me after all. i walked away from that smiling and i knew that by keeping my anger in check it changed how i felt and really socked her really good, much better then any angry outburst ever could have accomplished.
hate is just a wasted emotion. that emotion can definitly be used in much better ways
sorry if too long
Sweetheart, you have a beautiful way with words.