How to help?

[aprilvaca04]

I'm looking for some different ideas of ways to help some family friends. The husband just passed away at a young age unexpectedly(massive heartattack)
They have 3 children. Everyone is being so generous with food, food gift cards etc. I am looking for any other ideas that people may have. We all just want to find ways to help that are practical. My mind is just mush at this point so any ideas would be greatly appreciated.

 

[mumom95]

I don't know if they have other family around, but if they don't, offering to take the kids for a few hours might be nice.

A woman in our neighborhood's husband passed away a few years ago, and she had two daughters. She was being so strong for those girls, holding it all in and showing the girls it would be ok. A friend of mine offered to take the girls to the local amusement park with her family for a few hours during the day one weekend about a month after the father had passed away. The mother told us later that with the girls gone, she finally got to sit on her bed and just cry for hours, something she had wanted to do but didn't because she didn't want the girls to see her like that. Apparently it really helped her cope.

 

[NotUrsula]

Take the kids somewhere. The zoo, or even the Library. The mom probably has an enormous amount of paperwork to sort through and condolences to answer, and it is much easier to do those things when the kids are not there.

Also, it helps to get the kids' mind off their loss, if even for an hour or so. My dad died when I was 12, and 37 years later I still remember how grateful I was that an aunt and uncle took me to the beach a couple of days after the funeral. I just needed to be a kid and forget for a very little while.

 

[lucyanna girl]

Be there. Not just now but later, after the funeral when all the crowd has died down. She will need friends then more than ever. Then you can take her out to eat, keep the children, help her with Christmas shopping, rake the lawn, prepare the house for winter, cook, talk about her husband if she wants to. The list is endless.

I'm so sorry,

Penny

 

[laurie31]

Be there. Not just now but later, after the funeral when all the crowd has died down. She will need friends then more than ever. Then you can take her out to eat, keep the children, help her with Christmas shopping, rake the lawn, prepare the house for winter, cook, talk about her husband if she wants to. The list is endless.

I'm so sorry,

Penny

I second this whole post!

And I'm not some helpless female, and I'm not suggesting your friend is, but there are things my husband does that I never think about, because HE does them, you know? Things like routine car maintenance, changing the furnace filters, even the income taxes. (DH minored in math and I pretty much hate it, so he does our tax stuff).

Find out what her husband did, whether it was spraying for bugs or buying the groceries, and help with that.

She will need friends like you

 

[aprilvaca04]

Thanks everyone You all have awesome ideas, some of which we are doing already. It's been really tough, I worry about each person in the family in a different way. Our families are very close. She does have some family pretty close by but doesn't see them on a daily basis like she does us. My husband ahs been awesome helping her with ''man'' things already and onbe of the children is a boy so they have done some''guy'' things and have more planned.

 

[aprilvaca04]

Be there. Not just now but later, after the funeral when all the crowd has died down. She will need friends then more than ever. Then you can take her out to eat, keep the children, help her with Christmas shopping, rake the lawn, prepare the house for winter, cook, talk about her husband if she wants to. The list is endless.

I'm so sorry,

Penny

This is a huge concern for her, she worries about being lonely when everybody gets back into their everyday life

 

[darlak]

The upcoming holidays will be an especially hard time. Is she financially going to be able to buy Christmas for her kids? Even if she is, the holidays will still be difficult. If I were in her shoes, I would hope to have a friend like you who was trying so hard to think of ways to help.

 

[aprilvaca04]

The upcoming holidays will be an especially hard time. Is she financially going to be able to buy Christmas for her kids? Even if she is, the holidays will still be difficult. If I were in her shoes, I would hope to have a friend like you who was trying so hard to think of ways to help.

aww thanks...I really am trying it's soooo sad