how to get dh to consider disney

[Rebeccapaige!]

ok here's the scoop I took my girls to disney by myself in feb. we had a blast etc. they were perfect little girls, but how do i get dh see that a family vacation is a good thing? we've only been on one to Tenn. since our honeymoon 8 years ago. But as a kid I went on vacation mostly disney cuz my parents realized its where we wanted to go, anyhow we used to go almost every year and i'm not asking for that, but I want him to go with us, and not make me pay for everything myself! we make plenty of money and he always has enough to buy a four wheeler or motorcycle or go hunting fishing etc. but when it comes to a family vacation he doesn't have it even half of it? am I the only one out there? and how do I get him to see? suck it up and scrape every dime I make to pay for another trip? and take him and show him? how?
Becky, Paige and Hailey

 

[lmjacobs]

families that play together, stay together. that is why i'm no longer "together". my daughter and i love the trips, even when I was married we went alone. now we just go together - alone. great fun, great memories.

 

[mrsbornkuntry]

You said he likes to fish, maybe you could combine a Disney trip with a deep sea fishing trip? Try to meet him halfway, tell him about things to do in the area that he would like also and do it with him (without complaining, lol) and then just tell him you would really like him to do Disney with you. Tell him you'll chip in $XX.XX if he'll chip in $XX.XX and that way you both get what you want.

My DH was really great about our trip, he wanted to go, but he was also really patient with my shopping and extensive pre-trip research, etc. so before we went I bought him a ticket for the Richard Petty ride-along and gave it to him for a Christmas gift (our trip was over Christmas) and he was thrilled, it seemed to curb his impatience for the other stuff when he remembered that we were doing that, too.

 

[BelleBeautyandtheBeast]

My DH is not a fan of Disney. I took the kids alone twice before he went once. He still doesn't get it or like it. The kids and I went alone again in July. We are now planning a big family trip Nov. 06 with MIL, FIL, SIL, BIL & their 2 kids. DH really isn't that interested in going to Disney World. He told me to buy him a 2 day ticket while I am buying the rest of us 7 day tickets. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink.

I sat DH down and asked him why he didn't want to go to Disney World. His reasons were #1 it is too expensive, #2 it is too crowded, #3 it is too much walking. He wants a cheap vacation where he can sit around alone for a week. Although he will join us for the Nov. 06 trip he won't be going to the parks much. Oh well, it is his loss. The kids & I will still have fun!

 

[Disney Gator]

I agree with the poster that said to combine it with something else he will like. Deep sea fishing is great down here. There's also the Space Center, nice beaches. If your DH is a sports fan maybe find out if the Brewers or the Packers are playing a Florida team down here and go to a game while you're here? There are lots of things to do other than Disney, so maybe your DH will compromise and do WDW along with something else.

 

[DW mouser]

Just so you know that you are not alone, my husband doesn't care about DW either. He says it's way too expensive and he's right, but I still like it!! I have saved my own money and taken him and my son, daughter-in-law and their 3 kids, 3X and to DL 1X. We are going no where this year because I left it up to him for a change. Actually, I did that another time and we ended up going no where that year either!! All he likes to do is work and also buy 4-wheelers, ect. I look at memories with my grandkids and he just could care less, but, if I can come up with the money, he always goes with us!!! I sure wish he'd even chip in for his own plane ticket!! My son and family could never of afforded to go and even though I could use the money for other things, I still feel like when I'm dead and gone, my grandkids will have great memroies of Disney and grandma!!!

 

[Christy]

If someone hasn't been to Disney yet, I think some of their hesitation is doing something NEW. Some people are not comfortable going to a new place and experiencing new things-I think this is sad, but unfortunately a lot of people are like that.
Last year, I really pushed the trip to Disney, and I know my husband had a great time-we as a family had an amazing time. I started planning our trip in Jan. (for a Dec. trip), and it wasn't until about Sept. that he finally got involved. I did save a lot, and sometimes it seemed as though I was saving for the trip and he wasn't-but actually, eventhough I was saving away, he was taking care of the monthly bills (that I wasn't really contributing to).

 

[Chris]

I'm just lost in the part where he doesn't help pay for his children's vacation either?
My husband was the only one working for the past 10 years, but it was *OUR* money, not his. If I needed or wanted something I bought it.

 

[fam4jc]

There are tons of great things to do at Disney! does he know about DiveQuest? Or the Richard Petty Driving experience? You can fish, golf, waterski or veg at the pool. My DH didn't care a bunch for Disney at first either. He went b/c it was close to NASA and he felt he had to take the kids... now he really likes it after staying in a delux resort and going on dive quest. We are going back for our 10th anniversary trip. We are both working extra to pay for the trip. It is very hard. I feel for you. Maybe just ask him to help pay for the trip with XX dollars and then you give him a surprise activity while in WDW. If I was you I would choose my resort based upon what you think he will like the best... AKL, does he love animals? POR for the fishing? CR because it is cool? WL for the Northwest woodsy feel? see what I mean? Your kids will be happy anyplace if they are like mine. It is me and my dh that the resort makes a big difference.

I hope it goes well!

 

[tlbwriter]

we make plenty of money and he always has enough to buy a four wheeler or motorcycle or go hunting fishing etc. but when it comes to a family vacation he doesn't have it even half of it? am I the only one out there? and how do I get him to see? suck it up and scrape every dime I make to pay for another trip? and take him and show him?

Do I understand correctly that you both work, and both tend to pay for your own expenses? If so, it might be hard to convince him to spend "his" money on a trip he doesn't want to take. However, he should be responsible for his children's vacations. I would set up a budget and plan for *both* of you to contribute to a vacation fund for the kids.

 

[jltwdw]

I know it is hard for some people to understand, but there are other families out there that deal with seperate $$. I don't particularly like it, but after I've come to the conclustion I'm just not going to change DH and "his" $$. We both have full time jobs, but each of our $$ is our own. He gives me $$ for household bills, but if I want to do extras, like vacation, then I have to pay for it (although he usually will slide me a few extra hundreds before we are out the door!). He calls me a "Professional Vacationer", but he doesn't think he is even though he snowmobiles for several extended weekends of the winter months! DH and I Honeymooned at WDW in '93 and he GOT Disney then, but after our 3rd trip he lost the magic. He hasn't been back since '00, although me and the kids have been several times. I'm going solo w/ds7 (I also have ds's 2, 17, 19) in May, and DH considered going and although I gave lip-service to how much I'd like him to go with us, in the back of my mind I was screaming "NOOOOOOO". He wouldn't enjoy it, would spend alot of time flea-marketing, and would just plain screw up our PS and plans. He is warm blooded and likes the winter, I'm cold blooded and like the summer. He would just sweat alot, complain, and then later say it was a waste of $$. So, my suggestion? Buck-up and go without him. Enjoy yourself and your kids and instill in them the enjoyment of family vacation, even if dad isn't there.

 

[Mitzi]

I agree, leave him home...
My DH would not go back to DW for nothing, it's not his thing which is fine with me just don't tell me that I can't go..Now the money we both work but my money is mine and his is mine. He He That's what he says.. I'm taking DD (who will be 36) next week for her college graduation gift and my two grandkids which was part of their Xmas gift..DH went to Disney in 1993 for a week took youngest son, hotter that blue blazes in June.. DH can't take that much heat so we settle for a week in the spring in the Outer Banks and a week in the fall..I like that also.. DH also doesn't like to cruise which I have been on two, he stays home and fishes which is fine with me.. So you are not alone but don't let that stop you from enjoying the company of your children or grandchildren on a magical trip..

 

[angeleigh]

Do I understand correctly that you both work, and both tend to pay for your own expenses? If so, it might be hard to convince him to spend "his" money on a trip he doesn't want to take. However, he should be responsible for his children's vacations. I would set up a budget and plan for *both* of you to contribute to a vacation fund for the kids

This seems like a very reasonable assessment to me. We both work and and maintain our own finances more or less- each being allocated specific bills ,etc. We do not tell each other what to do with what is left of our money. But the children are a joint responsibility so that is always a "joint" expense. So far as Disney goes - husband went once 15 years ago and has no interest in going back at all - his opinion is why pay that amount of money to stand in lines for days on end when you could be fishing by yourself? We do a family vacation with all of us but when it came to the Disney trip for me and the girls - we are going and leaving Dad home with the infant. Everybody is happy with this arrangement - he is glad the kids get to do something they really want (and he is contributing a very large percentage of the cost) , and thrilled that he gets to save his precious few vacation days for something more to his liking.

 

[pplasky]

I am so glad my DH would do anything, so long as he is spending time with us. While he is not as fond of Disney as I am, and my kids love all of our vacations, he always goes. I don't get the whole his money, my money thing, but if the kids are going, he should at least be helping with the expense. Maybe you should try and make him understand that the kids will only be young for a short period of time, and he will probably regret not going later. Maybe alternate picking family vacations, Disney this year, his choice next year. Good luck trying to convince him.

 

[ceecee]

I am so glad my DH is a Disney addict like DD and I. I say go without him as well! I think he should pay for the girls part (or part of it). I don't understand the whole seperate $ concept either. My SIL & BIL do that and basically she controls hims with it. (made him a budget and he had to cut out his internet service). He makes more $ than she does, but she inherited $ and that is hers alone. My girlfriend vacationed alone (with girlfriends, her mom, her aunt and then her kids) her husband took his three weeks to hunt and fish (he fished in tournaments) and he considered that his vacation. They are no longer "together" either. If you're happy with going with just your girls then it will work out fine. Still, he should pay part for the kids!!!

 

[jeancbpugh]

ok here's the scoop I took my girls to disney by myself in feb. we had a blast etc. they were perfect little girls, but how do i get dh see that a family vacation is a good thing? we've only been on one to Tenn. since our honeymoon 8 years ago. But as a kid I went on vacation mostly disney cuz my parents realized its where we wanted to go, anyhow we used to go almost every year and i'm not asking for that, but I want him to go with us, and not make me pay for everything myself! we make plenty of money and he always has enough to buy a four wheeler or motorcycle or go hunting fishing etc. but when it comes to a family vacation he doesn't have it even half of it? am I the only one out there? and how do I get him to see? suck it up and scrape every dime I make to pay for another trip? and take him and show him? how?
Becky, Paige and Hailey

Is it just Disney he doesn't like, or is he unwilling to go on or pay for any family vacation? those are two very different problems....

 

[disneysteve]

What's the point of getting married if the two people will continue to lead seperate lives, taking seperate vacations, keeping seperate bank accounts and having seperate goals for the future? My wife and I got married to merge our lives and go forward as a couple, and then as a family once DD came along. For the record, we've been happily married for nearly 13 years and have been friends for nearly 25.

I'd also ask the same question as jeancbpugh: If the OP's husband just isn't interested in going to Disney, that's fine, but if he totally doesn't see the point in spending vacations with his wife and children, that's a huge problem that probably warrants professional input.

 

[MAKMOM41]

How about telling your husband its a week with your kids with out work & phone calls & all the every day distrations. No home repairs or homework. Does he spend alot of quality time with you kid? If not tell him here is his chance. And if he does coach thier teams & do homework with them, he has a chance to hace a magic time with them. DISNEY is a the best family vacation. What does he want to do for his family vacation?

 

[disneysteve]

DISNEY is the best family vacation. What does he want to do for his family vacation?

I know we all think this, but believe it or not, lots of people don't. Disney isn't right for everyone. I know folks who would never give up their outdoor adventures, camping in National parks, hiking in the mountains and seeing the beauty of nature to be stuck spending a week surrounded by everything artificial and man-made and crowded.

So I think your second question is a good one, which we already raised. Is it just Disney he doesn't want to do? What's his idea of a great family vacation?

 

[aka-mad4themouse]

Excellent point, Steve!

The OP really needs to determine if it's Disney that her DH is against or just the whole idea of a family vacation in general. If it's just WDW, then she'll need to compromise and try someplace that her DH might enjoy. Then, he might be more willing to try a short WDW vacation. After all, marriage is about compromising all the time. You have to give a little to get a little in return. Hence, I tolerate a week at the Jersey Shore every summer (his idea of a family vacation) in order to get my Disney fix on a regular basis. (Although I think we'll have to skip Muppets 3D next time. DH says he could act in it, he's seen it so many times.)