How to explain to a 3 year old about putting cat down...

[leahannpen]

We need to put our cat to sleep. She is very ill. How do we explain to a 3 year old that the cat is going away and won't come back?

 

[liznboys]

We believe in God and Heaven here, so to explain death to my kids I tell them that it was his/her time to go to Heaven and meet God. I had to explain to my 4 yr old why we weren't going to see his great grandmother, and only his great grandfather last weekend, and this is what I told him. We visited her grave also, and he asked what a cemetary was. I didn't want to make it seem scary so I did my best to present it in a factual yet "gentle" manner.

I'm sorry about your kitty!!

 

[EsmeraldaX]

I would tell her the truth, tell her that the cat is very sick and in lots of pain and that sometimes, people have to make very hard choices to help the animal stop it's suffering and get to Heaven (if you are not religious you could use a different place).

Encourage her to express her sadness and maybe even sit together and talk about the cat and good memories. Maybe put together a scrapbook of photos and stories about the cat. Try and have her focus more on the past good times with the cat than the future without him.

I know it's very hard to lose a beloved pet.

Dan Murphy - can you post the link to that wonderful rainbow Bridge site?

 

[Robinrs]

This is so difficult....

Do you have any beliefs that involve what happens in the afterlife? Maybe talking to your child from that prospective can help.

I remember explaining to Michael when we lost our first cat, Raven. I had to put her to sleep while Michael stayed with my parents for the afternoon. The hardest part was keeping myself from falling apart. I had her for 15 years. I had to stay strong for him, though, and sitting down telling him about the Rainbow Bridge and letting him know we will see her again calmed his fears considerably.

The one thing wonderful about children is they bounce back so much better than we do. Let them cry and remember your cat fondly, they'll be okay. I hope you'll be okay, too.

God bless and I'm so sorry,

Robinrs

 

[Big V]

So sorry Leah.

 

[Stimpy]

I'm so sorry about your cat. I know what a hard time this is.

We had to do this when DS was 3 also. Stimpy got liver cancer all of a sudden and after numerous tests, treatments and operations, we finally decided he had enough. We explained that he was very sick and we tried to help him as much as we could. The best thing we could do was let him go to Heaven now where he can play again, chase bugs (his favorite activity) take naps in the sun etc. When discussing what he would do in Heaven, we let DS say what things he thought Stimpy would be doing. I also read him the Rainbow Bridge poem. He was really good about it.

In the months following, he would ask when Stimpy was coming home and we had to remind him that he wasn't. DS actually took it all much better than I did!

It's sad to say but this also helped DS when both my grandparents passed away. He had a better understanding of what was going on, which helped with all the other confusion going on a the time.

 

[clutter]

When I took our dog in, I told my dd (4 at the time) that I came home, found her very sick, took her to the vets, and she died there. We had already been talking about Lucy being very, very old and very, very sick, and that she would be dying soon.

Good luck, it's hard to lose a pet.

 

[danacara]

Honestly, I think I'd tell the three year old that the cat went to live with his cat family in the woods or something. I don't think I'd venture near the topic of death, because little kids can get scared about things they can't understand and they don't usually tell adults how bad they feel. So I'd probably tell a fib and pray for forgiveness. That's just me.

 

[Dan Murphy]

's Leah, so very sorry, so sad.

 

[leahannpen]

Originally posted by Stimpy
We explained that he was very sick and we tried to help him as much as we could. The best thing we could do was let him go to Heaven now where he can play again.

I like this idea. I don't know ... this is just something I've never dealt with before. Justin knows Peanut is sick as she gets sick all over the house, but to explain death is so hard. I'm sure he won't understand the concept, but I guess all we can do is try.

What is the Rainbow Bridge poem? I've never heard of it.

Thanks for the info and support!

 

[Robinrs]

Here is the Rainbow Bridge. I remember crying my eyes out the first time I read it after Raven died. Dan usually posts it and it still gives me the chills....

God bless, honey. I know how hard this is.

 

[MHopkins2]

I can't help with the how to break it question, but I wanted to say I'm sorry for you and your kitty. Thank you for having the courage and compassion to do the right thing!

 

[luvwinnie]

I am so sorry about your beloved Kitty.

 

[leahannpen]

Originally posted by Robinrs
Here is the Rainbow Bridge. I remember crying my eyes out the first time I read it after Raven died.

Wow! Definate tear jerker! Thanks for the link...I think I needed that, actually.

Thanks all, for your concern.

 

[princess lovers mom]

sorry about your kitty..just 2 more thoughts.....we had to put our cat to sleep last year when 1 DD was 3 and the other 7....told them in essence that kitty was very sick and mommy was going to take her to the Dr. to get checked and she might not come home with me if the Dr. couldn't fix her...when I didn't bring her home we explained that the cat had cancer that we could not fix and she was now in heaven with other kittys...they both seemed to take it just fine...this year i had a cancer scare and had to have surgery (tuned out to be benign), but my DH told me that while I was in the hospital my 8yo DD was so upset as she thought I might not come home just like our kitty! they often do not forget what you say....

when I was 3-4 yrs old our dog was put to sleep and I remember that my Mom told me that the dog went to live at a farm because he was too old and sick for us to care for and he would like it better on the farm.....it wasn't until i was in my late teens that I realized the "farm" was the country vet and he was put to sleep.....

 

[goofy4tink]

I'm so sorry you have to go through this. But thanks for being such a responsible pet owner. I would just say that the cat is really sick and we hope the doctor can help but that sometimes he can't. Let your child know that his pet has gone to heaven (kitty or otherwise) to be with all the other pets that got so sick. If you tell him that the cat just disappeared then the wait for the cat's return will commence!! I know...been there, waited. Kids are really good at bouncing back. My 10 y/o explained about dying to her pedi at the age of 4. When he said..."Oh, you must have been a beautiful star in heaven waiting for you mom to get you." her reply was..."Ah no. Heaven is where you go when you get old or sick and you die. Not before you're born silly." We had lost several dear friends at that point and it really was just easier to explain to her what had happened. And she knows that being a responsible pet owner means that someday you may have to take your pet for that last 'one way trip'. Just a part of life with an animal.

 

[helenabear]

I have nothing to add... just so very very sorry you are going through this

 

[minnie56]

I cannot offer suggestions of what to say to your daughter...

I am just so sorry that your furbaby is so ill...poor kitty.

 

[goofy4wdw59]

A few days ago, we had to take our almost 18 yr-old cat in to be put to sleep. DH & I picked her out as a little kitten from a pet store. DH had to do it--I couldn't. It was hard on him--he held her while she passed away. She was suffering and it was the right thing to do.
I waited until DD asked where the cat was, and I hadn't planned what I was going to say. I told my DD & DS the cat was very old and sick and went to the pet hospital and died--she wouldn't be coming back. They asked if she would be going to heaven, and I said yes...she would be so much happier there and that we might see her someday.
I read the "Rainbow Bridge" and liked that.

 

[Lisa F]

When I was really little and one of our cats died, my parents told me that she went off to get married and live with her husband and that we wouldn't see her again. It wasn't until years later that I put 2 and 2 together and realized that Bubble had died. I agree that you should be careful giving out TMI to a 3 year old for fear of completely terrorizing them should mommy or daddy have to go to the hospital... there's already enough fear that they might not come home without giving them a real reason to think that.