How to decide how much to push your child?

[gina2000]

I believe in pushing kids. We are losing the education battle and I believe that parents must take a active role so that the US can maintain market share in skilled job positions. Parents need to play an active role in their childrens' educational process and help their children understand the importance education holds in a global society. It's never too early to start.

YMMV.

 

[PollyannaMom]

I'd let him try the honors Social Studies, and this part of your post is why:

...Social Studies has always been an area of interest of his -- he asks lots of questions related to social studies, talks a lot about things like politics, is much more likely to read historical fiction than say a science book...

There's no reason an "on level" test in math should hold him back from excelling in a different subject that he's really interested in. After all, different grouping for different subjects is one of the reasons they change classes at that age.

 

[rie'smom]

It depends on your child. A couple of examples:

In school, I would have been the child who could be pushed and would have responded well while my brother would have hated it. My IQ is 141 his is 110. Once we got to college, I burned out. I quit college when I got married. My brother finished college and owns several insurance agencies. We're both happy in our lives.

My sons-older could have been pushed and younger would have rebelled. Son#1 graduated college and is now a lawyer.
Son #2 didn't finish college and is very successful in the oil and gas business.
They're both happy.

One of my friends in high school was pushed by his parents. He received lots of scholarship offers and took the best one. He flunked out after his second semester. He was burnt out from too much pushing during his undergraduate years. He ended up bagging groceries and has had many jobs below his ability throughout his adult life.

The reason I use these examples is to show that even if kids are not the type who respond well to "pushing", they can still be happy and successful. Sometimes those who are pushed and shouldn't be end up not reaching their potential.

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

It depends on your child. A couple of examples:

In school, I would have been the child who could be pushed and would have responded well while my brother would have hated it. My IQ is 141 his is 110. Once we got to college, I burned out. I quit college when I got married. My brother finished college and owns several insurance agencies. We're both happy in our lives.

My sons-older could have been pushed and younger would have rebelled. Son#1 graduated college and is now a lawyer.
Son #2 didn't finish college and is very successful in the oil and gas business.
They're both happy.

One of my friends in high school was pushed by his parents. He received lots of scholarship offers and took the best one. He flunked out after his second semester. He was burnt out from too much pushing during his undergraduate years. He ended up bagging groceries and has had many jobs below his ability throughout his adult life.

The reason I use these examples is to show that even if kids are not the type who respond well to "pushing", they can still be happy and successful. Sometimes those who are pushed and shouldn't be end up not reaching their potential.

I agree that different kids respond differently, and honestly, I don't know for my son yet. I do want to point out that my son is taking 7 classes. Only one is standardized so that every sixth grader takes it at the same level, and that is PE. For 5/6 other classes I'm definitely making the "no push" choice. I'm not getting him a tutor to retry the test for 7th grade math. I'm not pushing for honors English or Science, I'm not forcing him to take an instrument so he can go into bad or orchestra, I'm not having him take a foreign language (choice is foreign language or reading, with reading being cosidered the "on level" course). So, even if I do push him in this one class, in 6th grade where he can get a D and it doesn't even really count, I'm not sure that's the kind of pushing that produces burnt out kids.

 

[rie'smom]

I agree that different kids respond differently, and honestly, I don't know for my son yet. I do want to point out that my son is taking 7 classes. Only one is standardized so that every sixth grader takes it at the same level, and that is PE. For 5/6 other classes I'm definitely making the "no push" choice. I'm not getting him a tutor to retry the test for 7th grade math. I'm not pushing for honors English or Science, I'm not forcing him to take an instrument so he can go into bad or orchestra, I'm not having him take a foreign language (choice is foreign language or reading, with reading being cosidered the "on level" course). So, even if I do push him in this one class, in 6th grade where he can get a D and it doesn't even really count, I'm not sure that's the kind of pushing that produces burnt out kids.

How will it make him feel about himself if he doesn't get a good grade? The one class may indeed count if it messes with his self image. With some kids, getting one poor grade in a class negates all the good grades they get in other subjects.
Discuss it with him. The final decision doesn't have to rest with him but get his input. His attitude will help you to make your decision.

 

[Aristomommy]

I would consider my child's strengths, weaknesses and overall motivation. If there are some classes that are a particular strength and there is a motivation to study, I would push for an advanced level class. If you think he is easily frustrated, then maybe back off initially and then ask for more challenge after a few months. It is harder to move to a faster paced class in the middle of the year, since the beginning usually consists of review and assessments.

Do you know other parents already in the school district? You might ask them how the curriculum compares to your previous school and if there are areas where the old school is "behind" the new one.