How to convince your family that planning is important.

[mickey520]

Hi All, I used disboards extensively for planning my family's first trip to WDW in 2017 but am just getting into posting for our next trip. We are going back in January on a multi-generational trip (me, my wife, DS7, DD4, grandma, grandpa and great-grandma - for her 93rd birthday).

I'm having a little bit of trouble convincing some of the party that planning is important. We've had them share their must-do attractions, but they haven't given much input beyond that. It's an 8-day trip with 7 park days, so we do have quite a bit of time, but grandma, grandpa and GG have never been to WDW before and they don't seem to have a sense of the scale and planning necessary to make sure we all have a good time!

Do any of you have a preferred method for getting your extended family involved in the planning? We've tried showing them videos, and a spreadsheet with all the attractions. We even took them shopping for new Disney gear. We subscribed to Touring Plans this time around and I showed them that...which I think actually hurt my case - their impression seemed to be "why does it have to be so complicated".

Any recommendations would be great!

 

[Unvoiced_Apollo]

In addition to the attractions, what is it that you would like planned?

What do you have now in the plans and what's missing so far?

 

[Jadyreen1282]

My solution to these non-believer family members is to just leave them home. They will be nothing but complainers about the plans once they are done. Joking of course... No I'm not really joking.

 

[loves to dive]

I'm going to go against the grain and here and say don't over plan it. We will be there in 2 weeks, my son and I go often, like twice a year but hubby hasn't been since there were only 2 parks. We will only be there for 5 days, staying at Fort Wilderness since we travel with our dog. I have bought tickets and got our MBs and that is it. Zero fast passes and zero ADRs. In all fairness, when my son and I go we rarely make FPs any sooner than night before and make ADRs when walking around in the afternoon. I've asked hubby if there are any rides he wants to ride and he says, not really since he hasn't been there in so long. We are just going to go with the flow. We will walk around the park and if he sees something he thinks he might want to ride, we'll see if we can get a FP for later or another day, we have park hoppers. Or we will stand in line, which is pretty much what my son and I do, we don't like to have something planned and then decide we want to do something else.

 

[sparkle78]

When traveling with lots of different ages, we plan like this: 11 am first fast pass together say on pirates , then explore Adventureland together, have lunch. Then to fantasyland where half of group may do 7 dwarves and others dumbo with plan to meet at 3 pm for ice cream and popcorn. Then split up to explore park more or head back to resort to rest. Then dinner reservation at 7 pm. This lets
People decide if they want to sleep in or join us at 8 am in the parks. With everyone else arriving by 11 am. ( likewise for the afternoon break ). If they really don’t care to pick out rides or restaurants. - you do it. But don’t expect them to attend every. One. Chose which ones you definitely want them to join you.

 

[yorkieteacher]

I would NOT try to keep four generations together 24/7-you decide what everyone would most likely all enjoy and get fast passes for those rides that need it. I can't see 93 year old grannie on FOP or even Slinky Dog or 7DMT. I would let them see a tamer attraction (maybe with your four year old) while you fast passed those if you are interested. I wouldn't try to have everybody rope drop either unless it's a 9am opening time. Let the grands meet you for a later breakfast in the park, tour until lunch then a more touring after lunch, let them go back for a break at the resort, then meet for dinner. You and you wife and kids can then have a little time to just yourselves. We just did a three generation trip, and although we rope dropped at 7am, three nuclear families separated after lunch until about 5 that afternoon. We did our own thing, had down time, and basically made sure we didn't drive each other crazy from too much togetherness! And we are all active grands-

 

[buzznina]

First, they will probably be overwhelmed with the crowds and I cannot imagine them wanting to do a bunch of rides per day, and you got their must do attractions, fill it in with shows or parades. I would do up a plan that you think they would like and show it to them.
Personally, we only plan the park days, our 3 FP's and "maybe" 1 or 2 ADR's during a 7-8 day stay. We found less planning led to much more relaxing vacations for us.

 

[stinkpickle]

My solution to these non-believer family members is to just leave them home...

You beat me to it.

 

[DisneyWishes14]

We just took my friend and her DS11 for their very, first trip in July. I bought them both the Birnbaum books (adult and kids version) and, while they came up with some ideas from skimming the books, my friend, in particular, was really overwhelmed by everything. So, I then just asked her a few, pointed questions - are there any must-do rides or attractions you would like to do? Do you have a favorite Disney movie? What kind of food do you like? Do you like sit-down meals or quick service? Are you interested in fireworks or nighttime shows? From that, I garnered her son was a big Star Wars fan, big water park fan, loves thrill rides and was a picky eater. I also discovered my friend loves dessert and fireworks. I also discovered they were not early risers, so I planned our park arrival days accordingly. I then planned everything from there and then presented her with an itinerary once I was done. Once on-site, we added or subtracted things as we went along. We had a fantastic time. I would consider putting a loose itinerary together yourself and then presenting it to them.

 

[rwdavis2]

Not to be snarky,but why are you taking them? Do they really want to go? Will they have the stamina for all day? Half a day?

Given all the set it up to do what you want and what the older folks might be able to handle.

 

[Ariel620]

My extended family doesn’t like the planning either, but they always seem very happy I planned for them (which I am very happy to do). So maybe ask if they have any thoughts or if they would rather you handle it (as long as you don’t mind)

 

[DuskKodesh]

If it's someone's 93rd Bday maybe be a little lenient in the understanding that you're just not going to have that much longer with them and that family time might be the focus of the trip. It's hard planning with family, but rewarding. Plan out a few trial days in the park then some down time and run those plans by your family? See what they like in the trial plans so you know what to focus on. It would give you a good start to the conversation. Also show them dining options, let them know that some places are very hard to get the closer to your date you get.

 

[Bjkandma]

Don't stress about it. If you are planning a few table service meals, book for the entire party. On the day of, if some don't want to attend, you will not be charged a no show fee.

Remember this is a vacation! Take it as a wonderful opportunity to enjoy time with extended family. You have a chance to create many lasting magical memories!

As a grandma myself, I don't care what I do or don't do. I don't stress about how much it costs (yes, it's very expensive). What do I enjoy, watching the Disney magic through the eyes of my grandchildren! Everything else is a bonus!

So stop, grab an ice cream, and remember you are creating magical memories for all! Enjoy your vacation!!!

 

[mthds]

If they have never been and don’t know what all is there to do then plan for them. They won’t know what they are missing if you don’t plan something.

They will just enjoy the trip with what you have planned. And accept the fact that they will not recognize or appreciate all of the time you put into the planning. Like an earlier poster said focus on making memories with the generations of your family, not on what you should or shouldn’t be doing in the parks. I lost 3 family members in last 9 months. Don’t take this time for granted. What I wouldn’t give to just sit on a bench in Magic Kingdom and people watch and talk with my mom.

 

[HuskieJohn]

IMO having more than one person planning things is not needed.
Really the only convincing comes in when you have a plan of rope dropping for a specific top tier ride and tell your family you need to leave the room at 5:15am for EMH at AK for FOP.

However with a 93yr old GG and Grandparents you will have to gauge their stamina to do that. I know that when my eldest Grandparent was alive at 82 he would not have been able to do WDW more than a 4-6 hours every other day, even in a wheel chair. Now on the other side my wifes GG that was 92 was in better shape but still I do not believe she could have done any better.

The other thing to consider is that if the the Grandparents or GG are done for the day and your family is not, then are Gparents/GG good to get back to their rooms on their own (assuming you are staying onsite) or will you need to help them making sure they get on the correct bus/monorail/skyliner? I guess if you get them a Minnie Van that would be the best option but that would be expensive.



That being said get everyone's MUST dos and figure out things you are willing to skip. Any time you have left you can fill in with doing the must dos over again or doing the so so items once.

Just make sure you have the proper pace set for your plan along with number of breaks. At 7 park days you have a ton of time to do whatever.

Since you are a TP member you seem to be ride focused and I doubt
My suggestion is you and your family Rope Drop till 10:30/11am, go pick them up to have lunch together and be in the park to use your 3FP+ with the G/Gparents for the remainder of the afternoon/evening.

 

[DisLiss]

I'd worry less about them trying to slot certain attractions into every moment of the day and instead try to get a feel for how they all like to vacation in general. You need to see if everyone has similar expectations, because if you all head in with different ones, there's bound to be issues. And given you're already hearing negative feedback about how complicated it seems, n my guess is that you're going to need to compromise on your usual park touring ways for this one trip.

It's the little things that can throw you... things you never even think about, and that's what I would be asking.

*Do you want to sleep in in the morning?
*What time do you like to head to bed?
*Do you want a mid-day break?
*When do you like to eat meals?
*Do you want mostly or all sit down meals? Do you want mostly counter service?
*How long do like to spend over a meal?

(And beware! For people who have never been to Disney, or haven't been in decades, or haven't been with kids, etc., etc., they may find that reality doesn't sync up with their expectations and they may need more down time then even they thought they would when you were planning. So you might also want to establish ahead of time what will happen if suddenly a few of your party change their minds. Will you all alter your plans, or just the few? When and where will the few meet back up with you? That kind of thing.)

*Do you expect all of us to eat together every meal? Once a day? A few times over the course of the trip?
*Do you picture yourself moving from one park of the park to another based only on hitting certain rides, even if it means backtracking or leaving a land before you've seen it all? OR do you picture yourself taking a slow walk through each land, one at a time, in some sort of order, trying to see most of it and try one or two rides/attractions/etc. per land?
*Does everyone picture you all staying together in a big group while in the parks? If not, how will you all stay in touch with one another if anyone has something come up that alters when they can meet back up with the rest of the group.

These are the types of questions that even my little family of 4 try to go over before any trip, after learning the hard way that we didn't have the same expectations as the kids got older. As the planner, prepper, packer, I really wanted a bit of relaxation built into my day...wherever we were headed. While my kids & husband never wanted to stop until they physically dropped. And at theme parks, one of my kids would be super interested in criss-crossing the park for certain rides, while the other wanted to check out specific non-food things and I just wanted to stop "wasting time" (in my opinion) backtracking all day.


My guess is that the two older generations in your group will have a good time just being there. They will enjoy seeing things they've never seen before, and since they have no idea what ride or attraction is one they'll love, they will be happy to just try whichever ones they get a chance to try. (And really, given that crowds can surprise us, even with touring plans; rides can go down; weather can interfere; and people can change their minds, getting too attached to a specific plan can possibly work against you anyway.

I hope you all have a wonderful time, no matter how you decide to approach your trip and the planning of it!

 

[mickey520]

Thank you all. You've made me feel much better about life! haha

What do you have now in the plans and what's missing so far?

I guess that's my biggest question of them. I had them all rank their "must do", "could go either way" and "can't/won't do" attractions. I guess unsurprisingly most attractions ended up in the "could go either way" section.

When traveling with lots of different ages, we plan like this: 11 am first fast pass together say on pirates , then explore Adventureland together, have lunch. Then to fantasyland where half of group may do 7 dwarves and others dumbo with plan to meet at 3 pm for ice cream and popcorn. Then split up to explore park more or head back to resort to rest. Then dinner reservation at 7 pm. This lets
People decide if they want to sleep in or join us at 8 am in the parks. With everyone else arriving by 11 am. ( likewise for the afternoon break ). If they really don’t care to pick out rides or restaurants. - you do it. But don’t expect them to attend every. One. Chose which ones you definitely want them to join you.

This is a great recommendation! We knew we would have to split people up but we were struggling with the best method with rope-drop vs. not, etc. We will absolutely be doing it this way!

Not to be snarky,but why are you taking them? Do they really want to go? Will they have the stamina for all day? Half a day?

Fair question. Grandma and grandpa are incredibly active (marathon runners and all that). GG has a more active social calendar than I do. Obviously at 93 she won't have the stamina for full rope-drop to fireworks days but we're staying at Yacht Club so it's pretty convenient to head back to the hotel for naps and breaks, at least from DHS and EP. They absolutely want to go, and are generally very excited about the trip, they just haven't gotten on board with the planning part.

they may find that reality doesn't sync up with their expectations

That's my concern. If everyone really doesn't care what we do/don't do, then I'm all for me and my wife planning the whole thing. I just want them to have a sense of reality.

Again, thank you all for your recommendations!

 

[mickey520]

I lost 3 family members in last 9 months. Don’t take this time for granted. What I wouldn’t give to just sit on a bench in Magic Kingdom and people watch and talk with my mom.

By the way, this made me tear up. It's so true, and definitely a point taken to heart.

 

[MickeyWaffles]

I would just plan it for them, since they haven’t been there before. It’s so overwhelming for people when they don’t even know what they’re even really planning for.

We usually go with 3 generations (8-12 people) but we have all been there many times. None of us like to plan anything beyond our 3 pre-booked FP and some ADRs. Not everyone goes at the same pace. We don’t have a strict plan. Flexibility is key with that many people. Sometimes someone wants to sit and watch the parade and someone else wants to wait for a ride. We split up. Don’t stress about staying together the entire time.

I would not overwhelm them with details and just book what you think would be fun.

 

[BalooFan]

Do any of you have a preferred method for getting your extended family involved in the planning?

I have done what you are doing, asking which attractions they are most interested in and planning accordingly. I did the same with dining. I then took care of all of the planning and didn’t share the plans with them until the last minute to not give them opportunity to complain! Some people just aren’t into planning and that’s all right because, quite frankly, some just wouldn’t be any good at it anyway.

With a multigenerational family, I always had a lot of unscheduled or loosely-scheduled time planned to give individuals the opportunity to rest if they chose, while the rest of the group toured. With my strategy of not sharing plans with them, this still gave them the opportunity to do whatever they want and split up if they want.

With regard to dining, I might schedule a TS lunch in the parks before anyone was too tired or a TS dinner at or near our resort so the young (or young at heart) folks could tour in the evening and the old and/or tired folks could relax at the resort.