How sick is too sick for a holiday party?

[bethbuchall]

I was JUST going to type almost this exact message. I was recently (as in last week) diagnosed with asthma and given a steroid inhaler to use. I am 41 years old and the dr said I've probably had very mild asthma my whole life. Whenever I got a cough it seemed to last forever, and I would cough and cough until I threw up. I had no idea that was a symptom of asthma!

Have you seen an actualy lung specialist and had testing done?

I had similar things for decades, and finally got sent to a lung specialist who ran some tests: I have asthma and the man triggers are cold and hewavy air pollution---especially from fires (it was being near forrest fires for days which started the cough that was SO strong and would not even settle down at all for weeks after that finally got me sent for testing). I now take a steriod inhaler twice a day when the weather is cold and hardly ever cough---and I have so much mroe energy.

You both have given me something to think about. I get a horrible cough every winter, and cold does seem to be a trigger. If I go for a run in the cold, I seem ok while I'm actually running, but afterwards I cannot stop coughing. And there are days that I cough until I vomit even without running.

 

[penn19]

One year I had just given birth 3 days before thanksgiving and I was informed that my BIL was sick. Cold/flu like symptoms. So I declined to go to the annual get together. My MIL freaked out. Was not thrilled with me not wanting to go. So my DH took a couple of my kids and left me and my newborn at home. I was ok with it at the time but now when I think about it,not cool.

 

[scrapquitler]

So, how sick is too sick to spend the holiday with other people? Does it matter who or how many?

Terri

Active Vomiting, fever or diarrhea means you should stay home. If it's just a cold, it's okay to go. The exception would be if someone immune compromised was going to be there, then if one of us had a cold, we'd probably keep that person home.

 

[Aliceacc]

I'm a high school teacher.

I'm in a classroom with a good 200 kids a day, and a good 650 kids each day during my lunch supervision.

And there are always a good number either coming down sick, getting over being sick, or in school sick but there because they have a test they don't want to miss, or a game, or a practice, or because they're going for the Perfect Attendance award in June.

Realistically, I can't avoid all those germs.

So I don't sweat germs or sick people. I do what's reasonable (to me) to avoid getting ill-- I try to eat well, keep my hands clean, and all the rest. And I do my best not to pass any germs on to others.

But I wouldn't avoid any social situation out of fear of getting sick. If I feel too miserable to go, I stay home.

 

[Nancyg56]

One Christmas we had plans to go to in-laws house (out of state). I was sick and did not want to go, and told dh I didn't want to go and didn't want to infect everyone. He talked to his mom and told her the situation. She was pretty angry that we would even think of not going, even knowing that I was sick and contagious. So we went to the gathering, and since it was out of state, we stayed overnight for 3 nights.

It turned out that a day or so after we left, the others who stayed longer than we did, caught it, including my mother-in-law, and then she was mad that I had given it to them. The only ones who didn't get it were my two kids (approximately ages were around 8 and 10 at the time). How they escaped catching it, I'll never know, but everyone else at the gathering got sick. My symptoms were really bad sore throat, headache, and ears ached.

I would say don't go if you have any symptoms. Even a cold could be bad, like one poster mentioned that it turned into H1N1.

My son in law has now started refusing to go to family events on his side unless his Mom can gaurantee that his sisters kids will not be there if they are sick. Every holiday gathering she takes them, no matter what they have going in in their runny little noses, and every time he ends up sick as a dog shortly after. He ends up out of work and so he and my daughter have finally put their foot down. This year, he and DD took his Mom out to breakfast for thanksgiving, and are just avoiding that situation altogether.

Your MIL did no one any favors guilting you into visiting.

I'm a high school teacher.

I'm in a classroom with a good 200 kids a day, and a good 650 kids each day during my lunch supervision.

And there are always a good number either coming down sick, getting over being sick, or in school sick but there because they have a test they don't want to miss, or a game, or a practice, or because they're going for the Perfect Attendance award in June.

Realistically, I can't avoid all those germs.

So I don't sweat germs or sick people. I do what's reasonable (to me) to avoid getting ill-- I try to eat well, keep my hands clean, and all the rest. And I do my best not to pass any germs on to others.

But I wouldn't avoid any social situation out of fear of getting sick. If I feel too miserable to go, I stay home.

I worked in a school system for a few years, and I also could not avoid all the germs that kids and their parents bring into the building. I did avoid bringing them to other people though. If I was sick with a cold, I went to work. They all had it too. I just kept my wipes and sanitizer with me. I chose not to go to gatherings sick though. I chose to work in an enclosed space with kids who touched everything, but my family did not.

 

[Aliceacc]

Honestly, I'm practically never sick. I think all those years of teaching have built up my immunities.

I would not avoid a family gathering-- or any gathering-- out of fear of becoming sick. If that were a high priority, I would have chosen a different profession.

I would not go to a family gathering sick, or bring a sick child. My nephew's son has CF-- there's no way I would knowingly expose him to anything. And mom is 86-- she doesn't need any extra germs either.

But for myself and my immediate family, it's not something we worry about.

 

[Nancyg56]

Honestly, I'm practically never sick. I think all those years of teaching have built up my immunities.

I would not avoid a family gathering-- or any gathering-- out of fear of becoming sick. If that were a high priority, I would have chosen a different profession.

I would not go to a family gathering sick, or bring a sick child. My nephew's son has CF-- there's no way I would knowingly expose him to anything. And mom is 86-- she doesn't need any extra germs either.

But for myself and my immediate family, it's not something we worry about.

I dont get sick much either, but when I do it is usually a doozy. I got pretty sensitive to who was in my home sick a few years ago when my DH was recovering from pulmonary embolisms, he almost died in surgery. HE came home and ended up with pneumonia. So now, I tell them all: if you are sick: stay home. I love the family but Buddy seemed to come down with everything after that.

 

[yoopermom]

In an ironic conclusion to our discussion....

My MIL is still working at WalMart in her mid70s (which could be a whole nother thread), and we missed her at the Thanksgiving party because of her work schedule.

On Saturday, she (and DFIL) were invited over for a birthday party for my DS (the only grandchild for all these grandparents, so he's just a little spoiled ....) She calls to say they're going to be a little late because she just got back from urgent care, she's "terribly sick" but "doesn't want to miss" DS's party. My DH begs her not to come, but she's coming, and that's that.

So she shows up (wearing a mask, at least), and my DH (her DS) won't even *speak* to her because he's so angry that she came when she was so sick. She knew that he had to go to work the next day (and has NO days off to speak of) and that I have two HUGE job interviews in the next week. Conversation was a little bit stilted!

So now we're just waiting to see if any of us get it.....

Never a dull moment!

Terri

 

[Nancyg56]

In an ironic conclusion to our discussion....

My MIL is still working at WalMart in her mid70s (which could be a whole nother thread), and we missed her at the Thanksgiving party because of her work schedule.

On Saturday, she (and DFIL) were invited over for a birthday party for my DS (the only grandchild for all these grandparents, so he's just a little spoiled ....) She calls to say they're going to be a little late because she just got back from urgent care, she's "terribly sick" but "doesn't want to miss" DS's party. My DH begs her not to come, but she's coming, and that's that.

So she shows up (wearing a mask, at least), and my DH (her DS) won't even *speak* to her because he's so angry that she came when she was so sick. She knew that he had to go to work the next day (and has NO days off to speak of) and that I have two HUGE job interviews in the next week. Conversation was a little bit stilted!

So now we're just waiting to see if any of us get it.....

Never a dull moment!

Terri

YIKES!

 

[Kitty 34]

My DH is a bit of a curmudgeon and terrified of getting sick, and wouldn't you know it, it seems like every major holiday *someone* in the family is at the party sounding like death warmed over. I tell him to just stay on the other side of the room, but if he does get sick in the week thereafter (whether by coincidence or not), he always says he's never attending another holiday party.

(I don't totally blame him because we spent a week at my DM's when DS was about 3, there were ten people in the house for Christmas week, a violent stomach bug went through the entire house, and let's just say that I was VERY grateful there were three bathrooms....)

When DS was little, we used to go by "school rules" aka if it was just a cold, or if he had been on antibiotics long enough to no longer be contagious, we'd go to the party, but if he was running a fever, feeling too miserable to enjoy it, vomiting, etc, we just gave up and stayed home.

So, how sick is too sick to spend the holiday with other people? Does it matter who or how many?

Terri

I spent Thanksgiving by myself in the hospital with a sever lung infection. For me, that was too sick.

 

[Aliceacc]

I thought of this thread last night.

I have Christmas Party scheduled for this Saturday night-- my mom, sisters, and a bunch of my friends get together at my house for a gift exchange.

But my 16 year old has been in bed since Sunday with the flu.

So I'm going to have to reschedule. Even if she were well enough for a houseful of company by Saturday night, I'm not really comfortable inviting my near and dear into the house until I've had the chance to Lysol all the germs away.

I have to look at a calendar today and figure out when to have it, then get in contact with everyone.

 

[NHdisneylover]

You both have given me something to think about. I get a horrible cough every winter, and cold does seem to be a trigger. If I go for a run in the cold, I seem ok while I'm actually running, but afterwards I cannot stop coughing. And there are days that I cough until I vomit even without running.

I learned recently that coughing shortly AFTER finishing exercise is classic exercise induced asthma and quite common (becuase I would cough and cough after getting to the store on my bike, but be fine on the ride there and brought it up to my lung specialist). I hope you get checked out and can be treated so that you feel much better and lose teh never ending cough

 

[I loveStitchnippyjon]

DH and I were both on the tail-end of colds this Thanksgiving. My DD was hosting dinner, but we decided to pass on going because there would be several babies from her DH's family there. I'd hate myself if I made a little baby sick!