How sick is too sick for a holiday party?

[Diznygrl]

the average duration of a cold is 7-10 days. On average an adult gets 2-3 colds a year. I don't know about you but I don't have enough sick time to cover 21-30 days a year for colds. That is not counting the 1-3 days that you are infected and contagious before you show symptoms. So yeah I do go around when I have just a cold. My life can't stop because of colds. If its a particularly bad one I may stay home for a day or two, or if I have a fever, if not its an extra box of tissues, some cold medicine, and tell people to stay out of my office if possible.

Well I do sympathize with having to go to work with a cold. Most people don't have a choice in the matter ("Show up or you're fired"), which is probably a big reason why people get so many colds a year in the first place...but that's another topic. However we're not talking about work or running important errands, but rather a Christmas party. You don't need to go to a party when you know you're sick and contagious. Period.

 

[jevs]

Too sick for school or work then too sick for parties.

 

[Gracie09]

Well I do sympathize with having to go to work with a cold. Most people don't have a choice in the matter ("Show up or you're fired"), which is probably a big reason why people get so many colds a year in the first place...but that's another topic. However we're not talking about work or running important errands, but rather a Christmas party. You don't need to go to a party when you know you're sick and contagious. Period.

It depends. Dh's Christmas party is pretty much a requirement. As in he will get a visit or phone call from the head guy the next morning if he no shows. Not the way you want to get attention. Large family gatherings I may see some of my extended family only once a year or every other. Sometimes people fly in just for the party so miss it and you may not see the people for the next year or two. People would rather see you a little sick than not see you. My small immediate family, if I told my mother I was missing Christmas due to a cold she would probably slap me upside the head through the phone and tell me to suck it up buttercup.
Colds for 95% of the world are a nuisance but not deadly. They are not incapacitating like a flu. You take some mucinex and move on with life.
Although I find it amusing I am getting flack about cold on a website where people report they are actively vomiting and still go to theme parks and on airplanes because they are on vacation and they paid a lot of money.

 

[Gracie09]

Well I do sympathize with having to go to work with a cold. Most people don't have a choice in the matter ("Show up or you're fired"), which is probably a big reason why people get so many colds a year in the first place...but that's another topic. However we're not talking about work or running important errands, but rather a Christmas party. You don't need to go to a party when you know you're sick and contagious. Period.

So you stay home for 7-10 days every time you have a cold? Or you child has a cold? You don't go to the store?or activities sport or otherwise? Or hair appointments or to the movies. And if you get a cold and pass it to your child you stay home for up to 20 days?

 

[PollyannaMom]

My SIL has four kids. If their family stayed home from holidays every time one of them had a little cold, we'd never see them!

That said, I think for more than that, you should. - We missed Christmas at the grandparents one year because DS had a stomach bug.

A lot of it, too, is measures to protect others. Hacking and coughing all over is different than an ossasional quiet cough in your elbow. And have a healthy person get your food for you!

 

[NHdisneylover]

Not enough information to give a complete answer.

Is this a large family gathering of cousins etc? A company event? A close group of family? Each has a different answer.

Large family - more than a cold I would probably stay home.
Company event - if I wouldn't go to work I wouldn't go, but those can be very political and missing can be an issue. I know DH's company its a pretty much mandatory to attend. So I would probably send him if I was sick.
My immediate family (siblings their kids parents)all go to my parents' house Christmas morning after opening presents at home. It would take something really bad for any of us to miss even if we spent a lot of the day sleeping in one of the bedrooms. It would be tantamount to not having Christmas at all.

That said, I am on week 7 of coughing. I have been to the doctor twice. Had a chest X-ray. Nothing contagious. I have an inhaler, allergy meds and just finished a Z-pac (to prevent bronchitis). I basically just have to wait it out. But I have horrible coughing fits that make me sound like I am going to expel a lung.

Have you seen an actualy lung specialist and had testing done?

I had similar things for decades, and finally got sent to a lung specialist who ran some tests: I have asthma and the man triggers are cold and hewavy air pollution---especially from fires (it was being near forrest fires for days which started the cough that was SO strong and would not even settle down at all for weeks after that finally got me sent for testing). I now take a steriod inhaler twice a day when the weather is cold and hardly ever cough---and I have so much mroe energy.

 

[QueenIsabella]

It really depends on the circumstances. For a day-trip, I would keep home a sick child, but maybe send the rest of the family. And it would depend on how sick, and who is going to be attending--my MIL is 85, even a small cold in my child can turn into something serious for her.

A little OT, but a couple years back, my DS10 was sent home from school with strep. The school happened to be having their big, school-wide carnival that afternoon. The nurse told me to give him tylenol and bring him! Um, no--sorry he has to miss out, really, but I'm ot dragging a kid with STREP around for a couple hours, getting exhausted and infecting half the school!

 

[Poohlove]

I agree that school rules apply and for me it would depend on the nature and severity of our symptoms and who was going to be there. If I can't chew with my mouth closed and it's a dinner party, I'm staying home. Any kind of stomach issuse, im staying home for sure. Since my parents have been caring for my grandmom if any of us even have a sniffle we stay home because I don't want her to end up sick.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Well I do sympathize with having to go to work with a cold. Most people don't have a choice in the matter ("Show up or you're fired"), which is probably a big reason why people get so many colds a year in the first place...but that's another topic. However we're not talking about work or running important errands, but rather a Christmas party. You don't need to go to a party when you know you're sick and contagious. Period.

I think it depends---is this a party with only local family who can get together a few times per year? Or is this far flung family who are lucky to get everyone in one place for a few hours every 2-3 years? The latter is the case with my family at times---and my mother in law wants nothing mroe to see all of her kids and grandkids in one spot on the very rare occassions that work and school and airfare costs all work to allow that---so in those cases, we're all much mroe likley to go in spite of being ill, and deal with any minor bugs we might catch as well. If my in laws reached a point where colds and whatnot were dangerous to their health, then that would change things, but if we are just talking about feelign like crap for a week--well, at this point that is a price which would be worth paying to make the get together possible.

 

[aprilchem]

OMG Gracie09 are we related? I get that exact same long term cough at least twice a winter, and literally cough until I throw up . The family knows that it's "just me" because I get it every year. So frustrating though! I hope you feel better by this weekend....

Terri

Have you seen an actualy lung specialist and had testing done?

I had similar things for decades, and finally got sent to a lung specialist who ran some tests: I have asthma and the man triggers are cold and hewavy air pollution---especially from fires (it was being near forrest fires for days which started the cough that was SO strong and would not even settle down at all for weeks after that finally got me sent for testing). I now take a steriod inhaler twice a day when the weather is cold and hardly ever cough---and I have so much mroe energy.

I was JUST going to type almost this exact message. I was recently (as in last week) diagnosed with asthma and given a steroid inhaler to use. I am 41 years old and the dr said I've probably had very mild asthma my whole life. Whenever I got a cough it seemed to last forever, and I would cough and cough until I threw up. I had no idea that was a symptom of asthma!

 

[design_mom]

I kind of follow school rules, too...

As a general rule, if I suspect someone is *contagious* then they won't go. However, if they're just not feeling their best, then it will depend on the circumstances. My dad has asthma which tends to move into pneumonia when he gets even a cold, so we try to be extra careful around him. But, on the other hand, I have a chronic issue that makes me feel terrible sometimes (and I "look sick"), but it isn't contagious. So, in those cases, I try to go even when I feel lousy. Otherwise, I'd miss a lot.

 

[nugov2]

If no fever and not miserable we go. Some holidays its only my kids when we go to my in laws and I did bring my daughter with strep (diagnosed that morning). She wanted to go, they wanted her there and no other adult attending is high risk. My daughter had a fever on Christmas once (she has bad luck being sick on holidays). I called everyone and told them, everyone still came even with kids. Nobody wanted to miss and felt the risk was worth the family time.

My son has cough variant asthma. He coughs all the time. It is like he has a cold from August to December.

I would never stay home from work with a cold (though I am a sahm right now). I was a teacher, so not worth the hassle of planning for a sub. I had to be really sick to miss a day. As a teacher I constantly had a cold, I would have missed a ton of work. I don't know anyone who stays home from work for a nasty cold. I don't think that is the norm to miss work for a cold, my experience is that your employer would be very annoyed.

 

[MrsDuck]

I think the school rule is a pretty safe one.

We typically cancel if it's anyone other than my parents. We tell my parents and if they still want to get together, we usually do.

 

[tarheelmjfan]

Depends for us, too.

Large family gathering on either side – I’d stay home for any little reason, so bring the cold germs on so I have an excuse not to have to go!

Small family gathering (immediate siblings and cousins) for my side or the MI part of DH’s side at either Thanksgiving or the last weekend before Christmas: We are going no matter what short of violent vomiting and needing to be in the hospital. We will just keep the sick kid/person away from everyone else.

Small family gathering for DH’s IL side: see #1

Work: cough/cold with no fever. Sigh. I go. With the Flu – no way

Friends: school rules.

I’m OK (and so is my family) for the sickies to attend the T-giving and weekend before Christmas parties. Both are steeped in an incredible amount of tradition and annually-planned events. Plus, since DH and I both have huge families, these two days/weekends are the “designated” days every year that everyone knows about, takes time off work for, and comes to no matter what. Nobody wants anyone to miss it, and we all would rather take our risk with a sick kid (or adult) in our midst than to have a sibling not show up. Its the only day of the year that my 4 sisters and 1 brother are absolutely going to all be in the same room hanging out together! Same on DH's MI side. And no more young babies anymore at the moment, no infirm people, and honestly when you come from families as big as ours, bringing germs to a family gathering in the winter goes with the territory. We wash our hands, keep our fingers out of the food, and don’t touch our faces.


Happy Holidays!! lol

This is us. We drive from Florida to North Carolina to spend Christmas with family. We're going to the party. I can't ever remember anyone missing our Christmas party, because they were sick. When you have a large family, odds are good someone there will be sick. No one cares.

My in-laws are a different story. They think someone with the sniffles is going to give them the plague. If we're sick, we just spend more time with my family.

 

[mummabear]

I was JUST going to type almost this exact message. I was recently (as in last week) diagnosed with asthma and given a steroid inhaler to use. I am 41 years old and the dr said I've probably had very mild asthma my whole life. Whenever I got a cough it seemed to last forever, and I would cough and cough until I threw up. I had no idea that was a symptom of asthma!

This is how DD7 is, we get the evil eye from people all winter from other parents who think I'm dragging around a sick kid

 

[Gracie09]

I was JUST going to type almost this exact message. I was recently (as in last week) diagnosed with asthma and given a steroid inhaler to use. I am 41 years old and the dr said I've probably had very mild asthma my whole life. Whenever I got a cough it seemed to last forever, and I would cough and cough until I threw up. I had no idea that was a symptom of asthma!

thank you all for your concern. This is not something that happens every winter. In fact it only happened one other time about 6 years ago. The doctor said there is a cold going around that included a prolonged cough. I am not contagious (I asked because we do have someone pregnant in my office and I would feel bad if she go sick on top of being 7 months pregnant with twins). I have an inhaler to use if I have issues.

 

[blana]

We pretty much follow school rules, too.

 

[Nancyg56]

If you consider yourself sick, don't go.

No one wants to be around someone that is sick. No one wants to get sick. I don't care if it is just a cold or if it is full blown bacterial pneumonia, stay home.

This is how I feel. I don't knowingly infect anyone and I prefer that folks who are ill do the same.

In regards to the Holiday party vs Disney, I read the stories of the folks with stomach virus etc going on vacation and it makes me furious. I do not think it is acceptable to infect people because you are on vacation.

 

[jazzyscoob]

We had a big family gathering one year for Christmas with my inlaws. FIL came after a night of vomiting because he and MIL didn't want to miss seeing all the grandkids together. He then passed on his stomach bug to 13 of us. His 8 month pregnant daughter ended up being hospitalized with dehydration and his 85 year old mother was very sick for days. Needless to say, we were all very angry they decided to come. I don't care how long it's been since I saw you, if you knowingly come sick to a gathering and spread it to us I'm not going to be happy about seeing you.

We stay home if sick.

 

[ols386]

One Christmas we had plans to go to in-laws house (out of state). I was sick and did not want to go, and told dh I didn't want to go and didn't want to infect everyone. He talked to his mom and told her the situation. She was pretty angry that we would even think of not going, even knowing that I was sick and contagious. So we went to the gathering, and since it was out of state, we stayed overnight for 3 nights.

It turned out that a day or so after we left, the others who stayed longer than we did, caught it, including my mother-in-law, and then she was mad that I had given it to them. The only ones who didn't get it were my two kids (approximately ages were around 8 and 10 at the time). How they escaped catching it, I'll never know, but everyone else at the gathering got sick. My symptoms were really bad sore throat, headache, and ears ached.

I would say don't go if you have any symptoms. Even a cold could be bad, like one poster mentioned that it turned into H1N1.