How sick is too sick for a holiday party?

[yoopermom]

My DH is a bit of a curmudgeon and terrified of getting sick, and wouldn't you know it, it seems like every major holiday *someone* in the family is at the party sounding like death warmed over. I tell him to just stay on the other side of the room, but if he does get sick in the week thereafter (whether by coincidence or not), he always says he's never attending another holiday party.

(I don't totally blame him because we spent a week at my DM's when DS was about 3, there were ten people in the house for Christmas week, a violent stomach bug went through the entire house, and let's just say that I was VERY grateful there were three bathrooms....)

When DS was little, we used to go by "school rules" aka if it was just a cold, or if he had been on antibiotics long enough to no longer be contagious, we'd go to the party, but if he was running a fever, feeling too miserable to enjoy it, vomiting, etc, we just gave up and stayed home.

So, how sick is too sick to spend the holiday with other people? Does it matter who or how many?

Terri

 

[Canooknic]

Anything more than a basic cough/cold is a no-no for us

 

[Gracie09]

Not enough information to give a complete answer.

Is this a large family gathering of cousins etc? A company event? A close group of family? Each has a different answer.

Large family - more than a cold I would probably stay home.
Company event - if I wouldn't go to work I wouldn't go, but those can be very political and missing can be an issue. I know DH's company its a pretty much mandatory to attend. So I would probably send him if I was sick.
My immediate family (siblings their kids parents)all go to my parents' house Christmas morning after opening presents at home. It would take something really bad for any of us to miss even if we spent a lot of the day sleeping in one of the bedrooms. It would be tantamount to not having Christmas at all.

That said, I am on week 7 of coughing. I have been to the doctor twice. Had a chest X-ray. Nothing contagious. I have an inhaler, allergy meds and just finished a Z-pac (to prevent bronchitis). I basically just have to wait it out. But I have horrible coughing fits that make me sound like I am going to expel a lung.

 

[pryncess527]

I've continued to follow school rules, even as an adult with no children.

 

[Poohforyou]

Even if it's just a cold, stay home. The healthy ones can go if they want to.

 

[yoopermom]

OMG Gracie09 are we related? I get that exact same long term cough at least twice a winter, and literally cough until I throw up . The family knows that it's "just me" because I get it every year. So frustrating though! I hope you feel better by this weekend....

Terri

 

[quandrea]

Even if it's just a cold, stay home. The healthy ones can go if they want to.

I agree with this. For some people it's "just a cold" but for others that cold can manifest as something much worse. Dh has asthma and there is no such thing as just a cold. Every bug he catches results in congestion, coughing and inflammation that can last weeks. He too dreads the holiday season and people who attend functions while ill. As an asthmatic he is also the most vulnerable to catching said colds.

 

[MataHari22]

Even if it's just a cold, stay home. The healthy ones can go if they want to.

I agree with this. For some people it's "just a cold" but for others that cold can manifest as something much worse. Dh has asthma and there is no such thing as just a cold. Every bug he catches results in congestion, coughing and inflammation that can last weeks. He too dreads the holiday season and people who attend functions while ill. As an asthmatic he is also the most vulnerable to catching said colds.

I agree, too.

 

[HannaBelle]

I say keep your germy selves at home! Ain't nobody got time for that...

And with that being said, several years ago my mother hosted Thanksgiving with a "little cold". She ended up with H1N1, gave it to my brother and I, my SIL on the other side of the family caught. She came over to see me when I did not go to the in laws b/c I was contagious. My SIL then went car shopping b/c she really felt fine. Who knows who she infected!

It was a terrible Christmas, but everyone in our family was healthy by New Year's!

Sick people need to stay home. Period. I send people home from work when they show up sickly.

 

[Lilacs4Me]

Depends for us, too.

Large family gathering on either side – I’d stay home for any little reason, so bring the cold germs on so I have an excuse not to have to go!

Small family gathering (immediate siblings and cousins) for my side or the MI part of DH’s side at either Thanksgiving or the last weekend before Christmas: We are going no matter what short of violent vomiting and needing to be in the hospital. We will just keep the sick kid/person away from everyone else.

Small family gathering for DH’s IL side: see #1

Work: cough/cold with no fever. Sigh. I go. With the Flu – no way

Friends: school rules.

I’m OK (and so is my family) for the sickies to attend the T-giving and weekend before Christmas parties. Both are steeped in an incredible amount of tradition and annually-planned events. Plus, since DH and I both have huge families, these two days/weekends are the “designated” days every year that everyone knows about, takes time off work for, and comes to no matter what. Nobody wants anyone to miss it, and we all would rather take our risk with a sick kid (or adult) in our midst than to have a sibling not show up. Its the only day of the year that my 4 sisters and 1 brother are absolutely going to all be in the same room hanging out together! Same on DH's MI side. And no more young babies anymore at the moment, no infirm people, and honestly when you come from families as big as ours, bringing germs to a family gathering in the winter goes with the territory. We wash our hands, keep our fingers out of the food, and don’t touch our faces.


Happy Holidays!! lol

 

[LilyWDW]

If I wouldn't go to work, then I wouldn't go to the party.

Of course, it all depends on if I want to go at all. May just use that "illness" as an excuse if I need to.

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

If you consider yourself sick, don't go.

No one wants to be around someone that is sick. No one wants to get sick. I don't care if it is just a cold or if it is full blown bacterial pneumonia, stay home.

 

[JoanneAZ]

IMO, if you're sick, stay home. Even "just a cold" is contagious for 24 hours before symptoms start and then another 5 to 7 days after symptoms start. "Just a cold" is not a desirable holiday gift.

 

[gotomu212]

I'm a big baby when I'm sick so I'm the first to stay home if I don't feel well. Who wants to go to a party when they feel like crap?

 

[GaSleepingBeautyFan]

I stay home if I'm sick - cough, cold, whatever. I don't want to pass it on to anyone. But I have that luxury - I work at home.

I get that horrible, coughing up a lung cough sometimes too and try to stay home as much as possible during it.

Last year, we were at our friends party and there was a 3 week old baby there. Several of peoples kids were coughing and sneezing away. It was an apartment so it's not like there was a place to get away from the sick kids.
So the folks with the baby left fast. And so did we even though we'd driven an hour to get there because none of us wanted to catch what they had.

 

[Diznygrl]

So people really think it's ok to go around infecting others when it's "just" a cold?? I don't care what kind of illness it is, being sick sucks and I don't want it. Stay home.

 

[Jennasis]

I wound up with the flu one year at Thanksgiving. So I stayed home all day while DH went out to dinner with his family. He brought me home a plate. Frankly it was the best Thanksgiving ever! I didn't have to be around his family...the violent muscle cramps, nausea, etc were much more fun to be with.

 

[Mizzoufan]

Our family rule If we are to sick to go to work or school we stay home

 

[Gracie09]

So people really think it's ok to go around infecting others when it's "just" a cold?? I don't care what kind of illness it is, being sick sucks and I don't want it. Stay home.

the average duration of a cold is 7-10 days. On average an adult gets 2-3 colds a year. I don't know about you but I don't have enough sick time to cover 21-30 days a year for colds. That is not counting the 1-3 days that you are infected and contagious before you show symptoms. So yeah I do go around when I have just a cold. My life can't stop because of colds. If its a particularly bad one I may stay home for a day or two, or if I have a fever, if not its an extra box of tissues, some cold medicine, and tell people to stay out of my office if possible.

 

[wenrob]

It depends. There's five of us and illness tends to roll from one to another over the course of ten days or so. So, the first person gets it, the next will get it 2-3 days later and so on. I can manage to escape it two out of four times and DH because of his hours can escape it probably 3 out of 4 times but generally all three kids get whatever it is every time. With it staggered like that I will not go anywhere near someone who is immune compromised for at least two weeks even if I think I'm in the clear. My Dad is very frail and my stepmom has to take care of him, I'd never forgive myself if I got either sick.

If child A has been sick but is past five days in and children b and c are showing no symptoms and we're going to be around generally healthy people I will let the people we are visiting know that one had been sick but the rest of us seem in the clear and let them make the call. My sister does the same. I wish others did as well. "Just a cold" still sucks and I'd rather avoid it if I can.