How Should I Put This to my Boss?

[Jodi1980]

Our department is having a holiday reception on a Friday night (6 pm). I am not interested in going-no big reason-just not interested. According to a co-worker, he said he was mandatory that we have to go-it's not during normal duty hours so I don't believe he can make us go. How should I tell him nicely that I don't plan to be there???

 

[KathyFP]

Why do you think that he wants everyone there???

 

[Jodi1980]

Well, I am part of the staff and the reception is for our ROTC cadets so I guess it's to show support.

 

[KathyFP]

Sometimes understanding the motive can help to frame how to tailor the conversation.

Is there a real reason why you don't want to be there?

 

[Disney Ella]

If you don't go, will he think you're not a team player? It sounds like it is just an extension of your work day that day and not a social event. Could you just make a quick appearance and leave?

 

[Jodi1980]

Not really. It does make for a long day and I guess I like doing things I want to do and not being told to do something (I'm divorced so I already do what I want which I love!)

 

[GeorgeG]

You should find out a little more about this. If your department is small, your absence would possibly have more impact. Is there going to be some sort of special presentation or something like that? Asking your boss the right questions just might get you the answer your looking for without specifically asking if you have to be there.

Years ago I worked for a large company that gave a huge Christmas party at an area resort hotel. The party was an all day event and took place on what would normally be the last working day before Christmas and was from morning until well into the evening. This was a huge event. To make sure everyone attended, they would hand out the Christmas bonus at the party (and they were pretty substantial) so if you decided to just take the day off and not go, you didn't get your bonus until after Christmas.

Of course, as times changed they still had the party but gave out the bonus the day before, then the party got smaller (and more optional) and, well you can probably guess how those things go.

This could well be one of those "win the battle and lose the war" issues where you work, so get a better feel for what's really expected before making any decision.

 

[FreshTressa]

How important is it to you that you not go?

Is it important enough to risk offending your boss, perhaps impacting future raises etc and his attitude towards you as a good employee?

I agree that you should not be required to go, but I know at DH's company, even though it is not required, it does reflect in bonuses, promotions and pay raises.

 

[mudnuri]

I can't believe nobody mentioned this yet...

if your boss is stating that it is REQUIRED for you to attend, he is REQUIRED to pay you for your time.....if it is after hours- and over the 40 hour work week, your intitled to the 1 1/2 your normal hourly rate...if your salary..well, it should return to you as comp time..

I NEVER attend office parties...never been passed up for promotions, as it is right now I'm a "department head"...

Brandy

 

[GailT]

Originally posted by Jodi1980
Our department is having a holiday reception on a Friday night (6 pm). I am not interested in going-no big reason-just not interested. According to a co-worker, he said he was mandatory that we have to go-it's not during normal duty hours so I don't believe he can make us go. How should I tell him nicely that I don't plan to be there???

Just call him at 5:30 and tell him you have the runs and prefer your own bathroom

 

[CEDmom]

What about the "I'm so sorry I won't be able to make this I would have so enjoyed socializing with everyone but unfortunately I have a prior committment".

 

[Serena]

How about asking your boss if it's mandatory or not. Tell him you need to know because you will have to try to cancel your other plans.

 

[Ronda93]

It sounds like the PMS. In college I never thought about who the admin staff worked for in the Military Science dept. I suppose they were employed by the university, but they clearly worked for the PMS.

What's the function? Branching?

At this point the boss didn't say it was mandatory, you've just heard that from a co-worker? How long have you had this job? Are you close to the cadets? It's your call, but if the reception is to honor the cadets I'd consider it before making a stand.

$.02,
Ronda

 

[Micca]

Doesn't anybody else sometimes have to do something for their job they don't really want to do? Is a party the worst possible thing? I don't blame you for not wanting to go, but if you think there might be repercussions down the road, go for an hour or two, and take off. Is there just the slightest chance that you might have a good time? Food? Drink? Gifts? Good luck

 

[Pebblszzz]

I'm with Micca.

Is it really worth fretting over for days on end, when you can just suffer for 2-3 hours by going, and just get it over with?

I'd go if it were me, but I'm just that way. I do what I can to keep the peace, as long as I don't feel I'm over-compromising.

What's a few hours out of your life if it will help keep the peace 5 days a week?

Something to think about...

(fyi: I don't look forward to our party either, but what the heck, I'm going - I might have to suffer for a few hours, or I might just even have fun and make a new friend or two)

Besides, maybe they'll be passing out goodies (gifts, Christmas Bonus, etc) that you'd miss out on by not going!

 

[Dan Murphy]

I do think that in many jobs that times come up, typically infrequently, like this, where one is asked to step up to the plate and do a little extra, on an almost expected basis, even though it may be outside the job description. Do your time, smile and I bet you even have a decent time there.

 

[believe]

With DH and I on opposite shifts I have turned down some mandatory meetings. I did go to a dinner this past week.....I also counted it as overtime.

 

[swea_pea1]

I work for a company that has a monthly after-hours event. As a Manager, I am expected to be there (although not required), and since I am an exempt employee there is no overtime to consider. I'm certain that even though my presence isn't required, a frequent absence would be seen as a negative when it comes to raises, bonuses, etc.

I go to every one, unless I am on vacation and then I just say I am out of town. I always, always have two drinks and then I go. I just show my face and never get any questions on why I leave early. I just say good-bye to the folks I happen to be hanging with and *poof*. If the right people have seen you there, then that's all you need.

 

[trip]

If you are close to any of the ROTC cadets they would probably like to see you at the party. It's always fun to get together with college students in a more casual event. You wouldn't have to stay long - just long enough to put in an appearance. Who knows you may have fun and end up staying longer!