How sad is it to be the "ugly" sister (long)

[caitycaity]

I know that looks aren't what truly matters, but it got me thinking how difficult it must be to grow up feeling like the "ugly" sister.

i'm the ugly sister. to be honest, it really did have a big impact on me growing up. to a certain extent it still does.

now in a 10/12, but this time last year I was in a size 18/20.

that is awesome!!! i was a 10/12 in college until my junior year in college. now i'm an 18/20.

i think that taller girls who ARE NOT FAT have big mental issues about being different when they are younger. this was my deal. i was always told by people that i was "big" as a child. i was tall but NOT fat. a lot of it was because i was tall and felt gawky. i associated being tall and having a big shoe size with being fat. i wish i could be "fat" again.

 

[snoopy]

Caity, I have seen you and met you, and I can say for sure you are definately not ugly. I think you are very cute with great hair and a great smile.

 

[caitycaity]

thanks snoopy.

my sister definitely got more in the look department though. she's a natural blonde with really beautiful curly hair and her ****s are significantly bigger.

when we were younger, i used to tell her that she was adopted - that is how not alike we look.

ETA: oops, i didn't realize that that was a bad word! i'm sure you can figure out what i meant.

 

[snoopy]

Ahh, big ****s are not all they are cracked up to be, let me tell ya. I never had them until I gained weight when I quit smoking, and let me tell you, I am COMPLETELY over them. I want my size B's back.

 

[Crankyshank]

I think Peggy from KotH is cute

I definitely don't look like either one of my siblings. My sister is blonde and thin with small bones and medium skin and lighter brown eyes. My brother has lighter brown hair, medium skin, different features and medium build. I'm.. well.. there's not petite about me and never has been. dark hair, dark brown eyes, olive skin. I always felt like I belonged to a different family.

I don't have a picture of the 3 of us together but see for yourselves.

My brother:

My sister

me, DH, and piglet

 

[SnoWhite]

I don't have any siblings, but I was always the "chubby" friend. I did always get the "you have such a beautiful face" line, and "if only she could lose some weight". The smallest I remember being in my adult life was a 12, and for me that is small. I'm 5'10, and I don't know that I could be much less than that. However, I'm not that now. After a car accident and brain tumor surgery, I gained a lot of weight. I still get the "she has such a pretty face" line though. UGH.

However, I do agree that this makes you hone in on other aspects of your personality more. I have always been smart. I went to college, got good grades, etc. I also really got to know who I am. I'm very outgoing, very talkative and very friendly. I always had a ton of friends in school, and even hung out with the "popular" kids. I never really felt bad about the way I looked because I was blessed with a wonderful family and friends who told me that I looked great the way I was. I think that this has really helped my self-esteem. And even though I'd love to get back into that size 12, if I don't, then it really won't bother me that much! I'm pretty happy with who I am.

Lisa

 

[caitycaity]

you and your sister have the exact same (good looking!) smile, cs.

i will have to find a picture of my sister and scan it. i don't know that i have any of her electronically.

 

[caitycaity]

The smallest I remember being in my adult life was a 12, and for me that is small.

i can relate to you on this one. the smallest i have ever been was a 10/12 - and that was at the healthy weight for my height (i'm also 5'10" - i have wide hip bones too). i was looking through old pictures the other day and wearing a 10/12 - i looked GOOD! it's funny because i always felt "fat".

 

[Crankyshank]

Thanks C2
I got the ****s for both of us and believe me, it's not a blessing
I look back at pictures of me when I was a size 11/12 and I was skinny. I've got large bones and could starve myself and not get smaller than a 10. And back then I thought I was enormous.

 

[snoopy]

Jenn, I do see a resemblence between you and your sister.

Here is my sister, the only one I have scanned, its her glamour shot:

As I said, it totally sucked being related to her from a looks standpoint, but she's a good sis overall.

 

[snoopy]

Originally posted by caitycaity
i can relate to you on this one. the smallest i have ever been was a 10/12 - and that was at the healthy weight for my height (i'm also 5'10" - i have wide hip bones too). i was looking through old pictures the other day and wearing a 10/12 - i looked GOOD! it's funny because i always felt "fat".

I'm another one who hasn't been smaller than a 10, at least in my adult life. And when I was a 10, I was 125 pounds (at 5'10"). I'm not really overweight, but I'm a big girl, and if I were a size 6 or 8 I would look skeletal.

 

[KimR]

wow, snoopy, you are right, she is beautiful! How old is she in that picture? - she looks about 18 or thereabouts. To be perfectly honest, though, I've seen pictures of you and I think you are just as pretty as she is, don't sell yourself short!

 

[caitycaity]

i think you and your sis look a lot alike, snoopy!

 

[snoopy]

She was about 24 or so in that pic, I guess? We had them done about 8 years ago, she is now 32.

We do have some similiarities, and have the same coloring, but she has good hair and I got stuck with this baby fine crap. But whatever. As I said, I got over her being the cute one for the most part (although will never quite get over my lack of good hair).

 

[missypie]

[Please ignore.]

 

[Michie]

It somewhat disturbs me that people think they are in a position to label others/themselves as ugly. I truly believe that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. If somebody was to tell me that I was the ugly one of my family, I think I would smack that person with my purse. Honestly, I just don't understand how a person thinks they have the authority to decide if somebody is ugly. That is a very mean and vile thing to do. Just the world ugly, to me that means offensive. I cannot imagine telling or labeling somebody that just their appearance was offensive to me.Very hard for me to understand

 

[sharbear]

According to my sister I was both the ugly sister and the dumb one. Funny, I don't remember it that way. I was shy, skinny with braces and very thick glasses. It was not a great combination.

Time has been good to me, I think. I'm still not so fat, I got contacts and nice straight teeth. I like to think that I'm aging well! I have also been known to hold up my end of the conversation.

I think that my sister says these things because she isn't confident in her appearance and her intellegence. As kids she had more boyfriends (I looked about 12 until I was maybe 25!) and she is better as math than I am. But it's been a long time and I'm happy with who I am. I have two great kids who look a lot like I did and a DH who loves me.

Now I don't feel any jealously to my sister (she has a very fine life, a big house decorated to the nines, two kids and all that). But sometimes I feel like the ugly SIL. My SIL is thin, athletic, a DH who's a doctor. Their children are all gifted, they have two homes that each cost at least 3 times as much as mine. They go on great trips and both of their parents live in town and they have babysitter's all the time. My SIL looks very young also. Maybe I can try to find what I have that she doesn't. But that is hard sometimes.

 

[ZachnElli]

I have a different twist. My mom grew up knowing she was suppose to be the boy. They already had 2 girls. She's never gotten over it.

 

[Mimi Q]

I have a sister and I have never thought about which one of us was the "ugly" one. Thanks for the thread. Now you've got me wondering.