How old were your kids when you first left them home alone?

[ronandannette]

We started leaving the singleton alone when she was 11. Errands only, we aren't the going out type. If we were to have a night out, I would leave her w/ grandma who is right next door.

We had an only too; a boy. He started being home alone briefly after school at aged 10 and by 12 we stopped getting babysitters for evening outings. He was actually a little miffed when we did because he always saw our regulars as companions/playmates and he really enjoyed their company.

 

[martikus]

10 alone. 12 if watching a sibling. And that’s for short outings of a hour or less. 13+ for regular nights of babysitting

 

[brockash]

My oldest will be 9 in less than a month and my youngest will be 7 in December. Both girls. Oldest is pretty responsible, rules follower, good head on her shoulders for her age.

We are trying to figure out what age would be appropriate to leave them home alone for like a short grocery trip or something. Curious to know what age is appropriate to try this? We are not thinking of leaving the 6 year old home alone by herself!! we are referring to the 9 year old watching her.

Thanks!

My oldest was middle of 4th grade... my middle was 3rd grade (she was home by herself for about an hr after school 1 day a week,) and my youngest isn't there yet.

Now, all of those times we lived on a military base and while obviously doesn't mean there's no crime; it did make me feel better, because I didn't feel great about it.

They were always fine, but I'm having a hard time imaging my youngest staying home by herself next yr. at all (she's a 2nd grader now.)

 

[mom2rtk]

Definitely depends on the kid. But generally around age 10, (not responsible for a sibling and no longer than about 30 minutes for an errand).

 

[Ellie008]

10 by themselves for short periods. The dynamic between the siblings would make a big difference in when or IF I would let the older sibling babysit. Definitely at least 13 to babysit. Even then, being siblings could see them get into fights with no adult there to moderate it.

 

[mjkacmom]

My oldest was 10, for under 2 hours (she was looked to miss her brother‘s games). She started staying home with siblings around 12, sometimes with me saying “your in charge” if I didn’t want to schlep kids on short errands, or as an actual sitter (so she got $10 an hour to stay home, she was always given a choice). Fortunately her siblings listened to her, I once had #2 watch the littles when he was 13 or so to ho yo a school open house (oldest was home but had a lot of homework), I ended up having to call her to come down from her attic bedroom because her brother didn’t command the same respect.

 

[barb969]

1 girl started age 7 for less than a half hour. Gradualy increased. She loved being a lone. She was mad she wasn’t a latchkey child.

Times have really changed. I was babysitting for neighbors at night at the age of 12.

 

[PollyannaMom]

It was very gradual with DS.

A five-minute run to the neighbor's house - 5 or 6.
Being home a little before me after school - 3rd or 4th grade.
DH and I being out at night - I think it was 12?

I think the key is just to start small, and let your kids build up their confidence, and you your comfort level, in steps.

 

[disneydreamer1980]

In my state kids can’t be left alone til age 11, can’t watch other kids alone til age 13. I pretty much stick to those ages because they seem reasonable, but only for short periods of time.

 

[Drewsdad]

11

 

[PollyannaMom]

I'm not a fan of setting the cutoffs by law, as each situation is so very different, and details matter - length of the errand, how reachable you are, time of day...

Our town had a ridiculous rule that kids needed an adult to get them off the bus until 4th grade! (even though in my neighborhood they had been walking alone the same distance to each other's houses since the summer between 1st and 2nd). One mom had to fight to get her 3rd grader released to his own older sister - who was in high school and well past the cutoff to "babysit" him.

 

[wenrob]

Do you recall if it was commonplace to come home to an empty house in the 60s? I read an interesting article once that argued 80s kids were the most neglected generation. Prior to then, most women didn’t work outside the home, so kids had supervision at home. By the 80s, women had moved into the workforce en masse, but childcare infrastructure hadn’t yet been established so kids were left home alone to fend for themselves. By the 90s, women were still working but they had more options for daycares and after-school programs to send their kids to, so kids weren’t home alone anymore.

My brother and I were talking about this the other day. We largely raised ourselves. Once I came home to the house having been robbed. Another time my mom took her visitation with me and my sister so we could watch my little brothers while her and my stepdad went out of town. I was thirteen! Most people tell these stories like they’re some kind of badge of honor but it was absolutely straight up neglect. With four younger siblings I’ve been “raising kids” since I was a kid. DH had the same experience.

I think older DD was around 13 just because I was always home with her sibs. I did not leave her with the younger kids until she was 15-16 maybe but that comes from being the oldest myself. When I did I treated it more like a babysitting transaction.

The younger two were 9-10 and I started with very short trips until they were comfortable.

 

[tzolkin]

10 by themselves for short periods. The dynamic between the siblings would make a big difference in when or IF I would let the older sibling babysit. Definitely at least 13 to babysit. Even then, being siblings could see them get into fights with no adult there to moderate it.

I think the dynamic definitely makes a difference. My kids have never fought— not when alone, not on long car trips, truly never. I have had no concerns with leaving them home together. My husband and I have even travelled outside of the country and they have been fine.

(I do realize this is the Dis and I’m opening myself up to the sarcastic “Dis parent of perfect kids” stereotype. I definitely do not think my kids are perfect. They have plenty of flaws, but fighting with each other is truly not one of them. I actually find it very odd that they don’t ever argue and have never had any real conflict. My siblings and I fought horribly, teased each other, and were even physically violent.)

Times have really changed. I was babysitting for neighbors at night at the age of 12.

Yes. I was babysitting infants and toddlers when I was 10. So I certainly believe that the average well behaved 10 year old should be capable of taking care of themselves for an hour.

Our town had a ridiculous rule that kids needed an adult to get them off the bus until 4th grade! (even though in my neighborhood they had been walking alone the same distance to each other's houses since the summer being 1st and 2nd). One mom had to fight to get her 3rd grader released to his own older sister - who was in high school and well past the cutoff to "babysit" him.

Ours was the same, but was 3rd grade I think. They would not allow the child off the bus unless they physically saw the parent. So if you were in the bathroom or changing a diaper or something the bus would be out there honking.

 

[AppleDumpling]

In general, 11-12, but agree it depends on the child and the circumstances (so many variables). DS didn’t like being alone for more than a short time until about 11. OP, you know your own children’s maturity and responsibility level and how the siblings interact. I’d also say if either of them are uncomfortable with the arrangement, then wait awhile longer.

Times have really changed. I was babysitting for neighbors at night at the age of 12.

So true. By 11, I was babysitting for infants, toddlers, and preschoolers.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

My brother and I were talking about this the other day. We largely raised ourselves. Once I came home to the house having been robbed. Another time my mom took her visitation with me and my sister so we could watch my little brothers while her and my stepdad went out of town. I was thirteen! Most people tell these stories like they’re some kind of badge of honor but it was absolutely straight up neglect. With four younger siblings I’ve been “raising kids” since I was a kid. DH had the same experience.

I think older DD was around 13 just because I was always home with her sibs. I did not leave her with the younger kids until she was 15-16 maybe but that comes from being the oldest myself. When I did I treated it more like a babysitting transaction.

The younger two were 9-10 and I started with very short trips until they were comfortable.

Your story made me remember another crazy example. My mother had a medical emergency when I was five that required an ambulance come to the house to take her to the hospital. The paramedics loaded her up and then drove off leaving me standing there in the driveway like, “Uh, now what?” It wasn’t an oversight, either. My mother was conscious and talking and they all knew I was there. I guess they just all agreed leaving a five year alone in that situation was better than having her ride along to the hospital? Very strange times indeed.

 

[mjkacmom]

I think the dynamic definitely makes a difference. My kids have never fought— not when alone, not on long car trips, truly never. I have had no concerns with leaving them home together. My husband and I have even travelled outside of the country and they have been fine.

(I do realize this is the Dis and I’m opening myself up to the sarcastic “Dis parent of perfect kids” stereotype. I definitely do not think my kids are perfect. They have plenty of flaws, but fighting with each other is truly not one of them. I actually find it very odd that they don’t ever argue and have never had any real conflict. My siblings and I fought horribly, teased each other, and were even physically violent.)


Yes. I was babysitting infants and toddlers when I was 10. So I certainly believe that the average well behaved 10 year old should be capable of taking care of themselves for an hour.



Ours was the same, but was 3rd grade I think. They would not allow the child off the bus unless they physically saw the parent. So if you were in the bathroom or changing a diaper or something the bus would be out there honking.

My kids don’t fight or argue either, it’s pretty weird and others definitely comment on it. My husband’s sister’s kids were the same, and I thought they were weird too. My sister and I had full on cat fights.

 

[dez1978]

Me too! & my brother was watching me at night when he was 10 & I was 6. The 80's were so much simpler! I don't even feel comfortable leaving them in the car for a few minutes to pick up a call ahead pizza. My kids would be fine, but I get paranoid that someone would call the police on us!

This is always my concern too. I don't think anything would happen to my kids inthe 5 mins I might be inside little ceasers, but I do always worry that some nosy nelly will decide it's her business to get involved and start a problem. We live in a pretty small town and it's pretty safe. In 20 years, I've never heard of a car being stolen from the gas station or grocery store here while ppl were inside. It's always from their homes. My car can be left running, while I take the keys and lock it, so the air/heat can be running, windows up, car locked and my kids have their ipad so they can call me if something is wrong and I'm in the store. They are now 7 & 10 so I don't worry as much as I used to.

My 10 year old is a worrier and refuses to be alone anywhere. He won't go outside alone (we live in the county), if we come home he won't go inside by himself while the rest of us are getting things out of the car. Both kids are playing football this year and practices are in different places and I told him there would be times when maybe he had to get a ride home from another parent and come inside while I was getting his brother. He absolutely refuses to do it. My 7 year old on the other hand, absolutely does not care about being alone. He'll go out to play by himself, has no problem being inside alone. A couple of times I've left him home alone for about 15 min to run to get the 10 yr old from practice. But the doors are all locked and he knows not to go outside or unlock the doors for any reason while he's alone, and he can call/text/facetime me if he needs to. I also have a couple blink cameras in the house so I can check in on him if I should need to. I totally think I could leave him home for a couple of hours by himself and he'd be fine. I won't yet, but I could. I could not leave both of them home together yet, because separately they are awesome, together, I have no doubt one of them would be bleeding in 10 mins lol

 

[wenrob]

I think the dynamic definitely makes a difference. My kids have never fought— not when alone, not on long car trips, truly never. I have had no concerns with leaving them home together. My husband and I have even travelled outside of the country and they have been fine.

(I do realize this is the Dis and I’m opening myself up to the sarcastic “Dis parent of perfect kids” stereotype. I definitely do not think my kids are perfect. They have plenty of flaws, but fighting with each other is truly not one of them. I actually find it very odd that they don’t ever argue and have never had any real conflict. My siblings and I fought horribly, teased each other, and were even physically violent.)


Yes. I was babysitting infants and toddlers when I was 10. So I certainly believe that the average well behaved 10 year old should be capable of taking care of themselves for an hour.



Ours was the same, but was 3rd grade I think. They would not allow the child off the bus unless they physically saw the parent. So if you were in the bathroom or changing a diaper or something the bus would be out there honking.

My kids do not fight either. With my siblings it was knock down, drag out fighting all the time.

Your story made me remember another crazy example. My mother had a medical emergency when I was five that required an ambulance come to the house to take her to the hospital. The paramedics loaded her up and then drove off leaving me standing there in the driveway like, “Uh, now what?” It wasn’t an oversight, either. My mother was conscious and talking and they all knew I was there. I guess they just all agreed leaving a five year alone in that situation was better than having her ride along to the hospital? Very strange times indeed.

I think about all the things that could have happened. Oy. Actually there were things that *did* happen but it’s only years later that I think, “What the hell were they thinking?!”

 

[dez1978]

I think the dynamic definitely makes a difference. My kids have never fought— not when alone, not on long car trips, truly never. I have had no concerns with leaving them home together.

What is it like to have unicorns? lol I can't imagine. My boys sometimes start fighting within 5 mins of them being up. They fight like it's their sole goal in life to make me drink. There have been times they have had to eat dinner one at a time because they can't quit fighting. For some reason, I thought it would be a good idea to allow them to start wrestling a couple of years ago, so thats added some skill to the fighting, which really, has been super awesome. (can you sense the sarcasm?) At this point, I'm fairly certain the only way the fighting will ever end is when #2 finally stops crying when he's mad and snaps. and punches #1 in the face and kicks his butt. And it's coming any day now. #2 has about 25 lbs on #1 and is about the same height, so he will have no problem winning when he decides to do it lol. And because I'm obviously mom of the year, I am going to laugh when it happens, bc I have been telling #1 he needs to be nicer to #2 bc he's not always going to be the bigger brother lol.


I was staying home alone for about an hour after school in 3rd grade and all day the summer between 3 and 4th grade. so all day around age 8-9. I could never see kids doing that now. I miss the 80's lol. I don't know what I did all day since we had 3 channels and lived out in the middle of nowhere so there werent other kids to play with.

 

[CdnCarrie]

Illegal here under age of 10. 12 to babysit,