How old was your dd - bra?

[tink2]

Ok, dd8 and I went shopping today. She has been asking to wear a bra- ALL her friends wear one etc. etc. N- O I told her- you are 8 years old (3rd grade) and do not need one. Well, my mother was with us today and we were trying on shirts. One shirt was a cute one that was more fitted and was a thinner shirt. My mother said she needed one when she wore thinner shirts b/c you can see her nipples. Well, I broke down and bought one of those 'sports' bras made for younger girls. I told her she could only wear it with shirts that you could see her nipples through. We tried it on once we got home and I don't like it- you can see the bra under the shirt (duh- I know). I'm thinking of just getting one of the camisole type under shirts instead. Anyway, I just seem to think 8 is young for a bra. Now, dd and I are built differently. I was thin as a rail and didn't wear a bra until our middle school required one in 5th grade- I didn't need it then. She is average size- 50% weight and height. She is not fat by any means, but is definitely larger built than I was. How old was your dd when she started wearing a bra??? Am I just freaking out over nothing?

 

[daisyduck123]

My DD started wearing one at 10, because that's when she started 6th grade & was starting middle school. She also was very "mature" for her age....needed deodorant at age 6 and a half, had hair in all places at age 8yo, & got her period at 10yo.

I do think 8yo is too young for a girl that does not need one & agree that the camisole type one would be suitable. For what it's worth....I teach in an elementary school with over 600 students & don't think I've ever seen a 3rd grader in a bra. So I'm wondering if your DD is correct that all her friends wear them?

 

[tink2]

Thanks Daisy. Yes, I know a lot of her friends wear them- certainly not all. I've seen them. Some need something underneath, some just want to be mini-teenagers. She does need something- you can see her nipples through a few of her shirts, but I also don't like you to be able to see the bra. You can definitely see the development starting to come- no more completely flat. But, I do think I may try one of the camisole tops- saw one today in JCPenney- may go back and get that. I teach 2nd grade and girls are really starting to develop fast these days. Anyway, I just don't like the idea of this- where is my little princess in pig tails? Oh, she also told me today that none of her friends wear shirts with Tinkerbell or people like that.
Anyone else have any ideas??

 

[CastleCreations]

This thread is giving me heart palpitations. Geezzz...I need some Nitro...LOL...My 6 year old is just starting to need deoderant, and I can't imagine that bras may be in our future in just a few years. Oh my...I'm actually speechless....and that's a first for me....
I don't even want to think about that stuff yet....

 

[MomtoEmIs&Ow]

What I started with when I came across shirts like that with my daughter, was a fitted tank underneath the shirt. My daughter just 12, started to wear a 'trainer/sports' bra when she was about 10 1/2, probably closer to 11- When she started to get the 'nippley' look in most fitted T's. I can understand why you are having a hard time buying your daughter a bra. I have a really hard time too, with the fact that my little girl is growing up super fast I hope this helps.

Lee

 

[Longsx3]

Okay my answer probably won't be a popular one but here it goes: Why wouldn't you buy your daughter a bra? If she feels the need to wear one, even if it is because her friends are wearing them, them by golly I don't see the harm in buying the little "sport" bra type that looks appropraite. I think that as parents we have enough battles with our kids over keeping them safe and getting them well educated, I surely wouldn't argue with my child when she wants to wear a bra.

BTW When my DD was 8 she also wanted to wear a bra and didn't really need to it... faded after a while, now that she 11 and is needing to she doesn't want to wear one

 

[blana]

No DD, but I was in 4th grade when I started wearing a "training bra", more for my mental state than anything else.

 

[kacaju]

my oldest (will be 14 on Monday) wanted to wear one in 3rd grade. I let her, honestly I didn't see that it was a big deal. I bought her a few of the sports bras and she wore them for about 2 months. She quickly got tired of them and then started to wear them in the start of 5th grade because she needed to.
#2 DD is 11 1/2 and in 6th grade and only just started to need to wear one.
They all grow differently and if she is asking to wear one I'd let her.

 

[MrsPooh]

My oldest started wearing one in 3rd grade but she did actually kinda need it. My second started in about 5th grade and then mostly because of age rather than necessity.

 

[DVCLiz]

I agree with some previous posters - why on earth would you not let your 8 year old wear a sports bra if she wanted to? To me, it's just another form of underwear, not a one-way trip to being the next Britney Spears.

 

[StitchandPooh'sMom]

Okay my answer probably won't be a popular one but here it goes: Why wouldn't you buy your daughter a bra? If she feels the need to wear one, even if it is because her friends are wearing them, them by golly I don't see the harm in buying the little "sport" bra type that looks appropraite. I think that as parents we have enough battles with our kids over keeping them safe and getting them well educated, I surely wouldn't argue with my child when she wants to wear a bra.

I agree completely! My DD is 8, and she said she wanted to get a bra this summer. She is starting to develop ever so slightly, and she could definitely use a bra under some shirts, while under others she doesn't need one. I have also seen her cross her arms over her chest - it tells me that she is self concious. I bought her some sport bras at Target. She doesn't wear them very often, but she has them if she wants them. She also mentioned wanting to shave her legs this summer. It freaked my DH out, but I bought her an electric razor. She hasn't used it yet, but she knows I am not opposed to her trying if she feels she needs it. She does wear deodorant. She is very active, and there is no reason to deny her the ability to feel confident about herself.

Girls do grow up faster these days, and other girls can be mean. Respectfully to the OP, I think you are "freaking out over nothing" . It sounds like your DD is aware of her changing body and wants to fit in and feel good about herself. If a bra would improve her self confidence and help her feel better about her body, why would you deny it to her? I'm sure you don't want her to grow up too fast, but she either asked because she wants to fit in with the other girls (which could be a problem if she asks to get a tattoo or a belly ring , but not a bra), or she feels uncomfortable about her body.

If you haven't gotten the American Girl book The Care and Keeping of You, I would recommend it. It might help your DD and you feel more comfortable with the changes she is experiencing.

Sending hugs your way!

 

[StitchandPooh'sMom]

Oh, she also told me today that none of her friends wear shirts with Tinkerbell or people like that.
Anyone else have any ideas??

This is what broke my heart, not the bra issue! My DD8 will still wear her Stitch shirts to school, but not Tinkerbell and certainly not a Princess shirt! My DD4 will never be allowed to give up Disney - she is my last hope!

 

[trayletha]

I got my DD one when she was 7 (but almost 8). One of the cami/sport type, she really wanted one and definitely did not need one. Same story "everyone else had one", she wore it a couple of times, realized it was hot and uncomfortable and put it away. She is almost nine and I've made her wear it a couple of times under light/thin shirts but other than that never see it.

 

[teresajoy]

Arminda got her first bra when she was about 2. She loved bras, and was always looking at them. I imagine becasue of the lace and pretty colors. She wore it every once in awhile around the house (under her clothes). It was the teeny tiniest bra I had ever seen. Arminda is 9 now and the bra is too small, so she lets Lydia wear it!

I can sympathize with you though about your daughter growing up and wanting a bra to fit in and feel confident. That is a different story than why Arminda wanted tha pretty little bra at 2.

That said, I took Arminda bra shopping this summer, just before school started. She had asked if I could get her some bras. At first I was like you. "My baby wants a bra!" It was different than the little pretty bra she had, she wanted one becasue she was growing up! But, after a little thought, I realized it really isn't a big deal. She only needs one if she is wearing a thin shirt. At first she wore one every day, no matter what, but now, they rarely leave her drawer.

to you OP, it can be hard seeing our little princesss grow up!

ETA: She tried to talk me into getting her an underwire. Probably becasue that's what I wear, but I told her they aren't very comfortable and avoided that one! I mean, WHY would a 30A need an underwire??????

 

[TreslovesWDW]

I know this is a hard thing...having your little girls grow up I mean. My DD just turned 10 she really did not ask me to buy her any bras but I think she needs to wear one. She does have nipples that show through her shirts and little shape of breasts. I felt that I did not want anyone to say anything to her. I was in 7th grade and still did not wear one and a friend said to me one day you should wear a bra. I had nipples but not really any breast. Now 2 years ago my DD 10 wanted me to buy them and I freaked but did buy them the 2 piece undies and bra with out any padding , just the shape of a bra but flat and my DD 4 or 5 at the time wanted them too. Her size came with the sports bra. They really never wore them , just wanted to have it I guess. Now I did make them wear tank top undershirts and that works well. But this month I bought DD10 sports bras for under white shirts and she can still where undrshirts for darker shirts. Two of her friends and cousin the same age just started to wear a bra this past month also. While DD 7 still only wears undershirts I think she may need a bra as much as my 10 year old but I am going to give it another year, she is a little heavier than DD10. I don't want anyone looking at my girls and wonder why I would let them wear shirts that let their nipples show, it is best to be covered up. Girls really do start to develop earlier now. Good luck

 

[Whosemom]

I just had my 12 yo get one. She has that nipply lok under a couple shirts. She is proving to be a good judge of when she needs it. My 8 yo is a little heavy and looks developed although its just chunkiness. But she said maybe she needed one, too, so we made a fun "girls day out" out of the momentous occassion of the purchase. I tend to make things into a celebration.

OMG, I suppose we COULD be celebrating another milestone with our December WDW trip. Can you think of anything more awful than your first period starting in the middle of IASW.

 

[tink2]

Thanks everyone. I feel better about it today. We will keep the bras- I bought the plain white sports type- and I may buy her a cami top and let her choose (though I'm sure it will be the bra at first). I just didn't want to be one of those parents that is pushing or allowing things too fast with her- I am a teacher and see little girls doing way too many grown up things way too fast and I didn't want to be like that. Now that an above poster mentioned it, dd has crossed her arms over her chest- when she was about to get in the shower and didn't have a shirt on and I came in the bathroom. UUGGHH! Parenting is hard sometimes- and I know I'm only getting started with this stuff! It just is all happening so much younger than when I was little. Anyway, thanks for all the advice. I will buy the book too- what topics does it cover? I haven't talked to her about her period yet and don't think either of us are ready for that one- baby steps for mom here!!!

 

[MinnieTink]

My DD started wearing a bra last year at the age of 10. She really didn't need it at the time. She really didn't even want one. She was told by some girls that it was 'weird to be around' her because she didn't wear one. So that day, she came out of school all upset, and off to Target we went for bras!

 

[teresajoy]

Thanks everyone. I feel better about it today. We will keep the bras- I bought the plain white sports type- and I may buy her a cami top and let her choose (though I'm sure it will be the bra at first). I just didn't want to be one of those parents that is pushing or allowing things too fast with her- I am a teacher and see little girls doing way too many grown up things way too fast and I didn't want to be like that. Now that an above poster mentioned it, dd has crossed her arms over her chest- when she was about to get in the shower and didn't have a shirt on and I came in the bathroom. UUGGHH! Parenting is hard sometimes- and I know I'm only getting started with this stuff! It just is all happening so much younger than when I was little. Anyway, thanks for all the advice. I will buy the book too- what topics does it cover? I haven't talked to her about her period yet and don't think either of us are ready for that one- baby steps for mom here!!!

Why can't they just stay little?

I realized the other day, that I should have "the period talk" with Arminda, before she get suprised by it! I told her why she would have it and what to expcet, and then I asked her if she had any questions. Her reply was, "That is so gross, can we talk about something else now?" I don't know why, but I thought that was funny. I didn't try to make it sound gross or disgusting, just a matter of fact thing tht would happen, but maybe I didn't do such a good job! Being a Mom is HARD!

 

[tink2]

Originally Posted by tink2
Oh, she also told me today that none of her friends wear shirts with Tinkerbell or people like that.
Anyone else have any ideas??

This is what broke my heart, not the bra issue! My DD8 will still wear her Stitch shirts to school, but not Tinkerbell and certainly not a Princess shirt! My DD4 will never be allowed to give up Disney - she is my last hope!

I know- this killed me too! She only wears Tink shirts to school and loves Tink- just picked out new Tink pjs yesterday over High School Musical ones - but she must be thinking it isn't cool. All of her Tink shirts are 'cool'- not babyish. She certainly doesn't want a princess one anymore- not to wear to school anyway- maybe for our WDW trip. Sad thing is, ds6 in first grade, doesn't want to wear his Woody and Buzz shirt to school- and he has LOVED them since he was 2 and still does, but must not think they are 'cool' either. He will wear a Mickey Mouse shirt and Pirates (of course), but something has it in his head that Woody and Buzz aren't cool. My children still love all things Disney- they stilll love to watch all the movies and even Winnie the Pooh- but they certainly wouldn't wear a Pooh shirt to school.

OMG, I suppose we COULD be celebrating another milestone with our December WDW trip. Can you think of anything more awful than your first period starting in the middle of IASW.

Dear Lord, you will give me nightmares!!! At least I shouldn't have to worry about that for a while or during our upcoming trip! I will say a prayer that you will get through your vacation without that one- can you imagine riding Dumbo and that happening...