How old was your dd - bra?

[SeeDisney]

My DD begged and begged for a bra last year in the third grade cuz all of her friends were wearing them too, "just to wear" not cuz their developed. It was just a status thing.

Well I got her a bra, so she wore it about a week or two and she hardly ever wore it again.

I KNEW THAT TOO!!! But I got for her cuz it was important to her to be like her friends. Wonder if her friends are still wearing bras now at 4th grade.

 

[StitchandPooh'sMom]

I will buy the book too- what topics does it cover? I haven't talked to her about her period yet and don't think either of us are ready for that one- baby steps for mom here!!!

The Care and Keeping of You does talk about periods, but not in a scary way. It is generally about body care (hair, skin, using deodorant, nutrition) and feelings (moodiness). It does not talk about sex at all. DH freaked about the book too (can't see his little girl growing up), but he read it when DD8 wasn't looking (since it is ony for girls, Mom!) and agreed that he thought it would be very useful for her.

Check out this thread:

http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=1519093&referrerid=&highlight=bra

 

[My2Cinderellas]

Right now DD9 is in 4th grade and does not own a bra yet. She has not asked for one and I don't think she needs it just yet, but will soon. she has several of the camis with a shelf bra which worked well this past summer. I do think that next spring we will get a few of the sports bras for under thin tees. Sooner if she asks for them.

I gave her the Care and Keeping of You book for her 9th birthday this summer. She has read it several times, and every now and again will ask questions about something. Right away she asked for deoderant, and we bought some cetaphil face wash to get that habit started. my mom bought her a special face cloth/mitt to use. This week we were in Target in the personal hygiene aisle and she was reading the tampon boxes, which started a little conversation to reinforce period info and discuss pads and tampons.

 

[Rex Rules]

For heaven's sake - it is just another piece of clothing. If it makes your daughter feel better and more confident, what is the big deal??

 

[DVCLiz]

My DD13 DID start her period for the first time at WDW last summer. Luckily she was back at the villa with her 18 year old sister. I was the one standing in line (OK, it was POTC instead of IASW or Dumbo!)

It worked out just fine. As a matter of fact, it was the perfect way for that to happen for her - big sis right there to help with the process, and mom waiting for her to come and have a fun day at the MK.

 

[mommytobug]

My dd is 8. She HAD to wear deodorant at age 7 and HAS to wear a bra with most shirts now. My heart just breaks. My dd is very tall and very thin. It has nothing to do with her weight, she is developing in all areas too early.

 

[TheDizMom]

My DD is 6 and last year she got 2 underwear sets from my mother that had undies and a sort of camisole with it. The top is designed like a basic camisole but it only covers the top of her torso like a bikini top. She loves them and calls them her BRA . I figure it makes her happy and doesn't look like a bra (1 is Hello Kitty, the other Tink ) at all. There is no padding or cup or anything like that. Try one of those (it may be what you were describing) and if it can be seen under the shirt it's no big deal.

 

[Karel]

My dd is 8. She HAD to wear deodorant at age 7 and HAS to wear a bra with most shirts now. My heart just breaks. My dd is very tall and very thin. It has nothing to do with her weight, she is developing in all areas too early.

My almost 14 year old is the complete opposite. She is thin and short and only wears something under certain shirts. I don't even think she needs deodorant.

I don't know if anyone at school has said anything to her. I'm pretty sure she wouldn't care if they did.

 

[deedeetoo]

My dd9 decided that she needed a bra this year. I bought her 2 of the sport variety at Target. I think she wore each one of them twice and hasn't touched them since.

But on a scarier note. One of her friends (age 9, 4th grade) just got her period. This girl is a bit taller than my dd but not particularly big for her age and not very much developed. I was really surprised by this.

 

[Va-bear]

For heaven's sake - it is just another piece of clothing. If it makes your daughter feel better and more confident, what is the big deal??

Yes, really, the confidence at that age is SO important! I developed very young and wore one by the time I was 9, but probably needed it at 8. I remember wishing and wishing I had the nerve to ask my mom for one- the boys made fun of me a lot.... - but was too embarrassed. I think she finally realized I was always walking w/ my arms crossed and got me one. Be glad she is able to ask you and not be embarrassed, encourage that closeness, it may come in handy later in life, and she will appreciate it a lot.

 

[dansamy]

O. M. G. You guys are scaring the begeezus outta me! How will I know when my DD7 needs deodorant? I think I can figure out the bra thing and the period thing and the shaving thing. What determines when one needs deodorant?

 

[Va-bear]

O. M. G. You guys are scaring the begeezus outta me! How will I know when my DD7 needs deodorant? I think I can figure out the bra thing and the period thing and the shaving thing. What determines when one needs deodorant?

Thank goodness I wasn't the only one thinking this!! My DS8 suddenly has hair all over his legs he is growing up! But, so far, he hasn't stunk - guess that will be the clue?!

 

[dansamy]

But, so far, he hasn't stunk - guess that will be the clue?!

That would work...if I had a sense of smell...

(I really can't smell much of anything unless it is completely overwhelming.)

 

[disneymarie]

My 12 year old, to be needs one so bad and refuses to wear one. I told her she will be teased one day and be upset.

I bought silky thin can barely see...Joe Boxer, one black w/white trim white with blk trim...
Threw them in a corner.
She does not want to grow up I think...she feels gorwing up losing childhood, nearing death everyday. Anxiety/panic and night panics.

Even her bathing suit is too too small. Refused a new Speedo, three from Sears and JC Penny....Many from Kohl's...
I hope before she was my size she decideds to wear one. Mom would allow me before 8th grade, I was a 34 B
dianne

 

[Amy&Dan]

My daughter who is thin and not really developing started wearing one last year as a fourth grader. It was a nipple thing not a **** thing. Wow, that sounds weird! But in some shirts you could see the outline of her nipples and that was that. Most all of her classmates started wearing them in 3rd or 4th grades. I simply called them undershirts because dd seemed at first to be upset I got her one. Altough it was just the girl sport bra type thing. I bought her some of those and a few camisole type cotton undershirts and let her choose.

To me there can be no set age, I have known girls as young as second grade who wore them and others (like myself) who got one for junior high because it was too humiliating not to wear one!

As hard as it is, you have to throw out those preconceived notions of what other girls, yourself, your sister, etc., did/are doing. Its all about the individual girl. I think if your dd is ready, then the time has come!

Oh and for deodorant, use your nostrils and also look for sweat stains on white clothing. I say 10 is the latest you should wait for that, I know when I volunteered in my kid's 4th grade classes, it frequently stunk! But never smelled a thing in the years before that. I would rather err on the side of caution with that one. I would be mortified if somebody every thought my child smelled bad.

Oh and I have to vouch for the Care and Keeping of You. That book really helped my daughter and me come to terms with what lies ahead! And they have several other books about friends, self image etc. They are all really helpful for girls that age. The whole series was recommended by my pediatrician, I wish they had something like that when I was her age. Beats finding out all the wrong info from word of mouth from other girls. Which no matter how hard we moms try, the rumor mill is always working overtime!

 

[digman6]

Well I can tell you at our school , when kids hit 4th grade they get a sample of deodrant and have the health subject of body changes and sex etc etc. Its not real indepth but enough to go here we go down that road of questions. Dh told our son after there chat, if you don't want to have kids keep it in your pants! He said ,OK its staying there!

So my dd who is 8 wants deodarant and I know she wants it because her brother uses it, but he is in 5thgrade and sweats enough for 10 people!
I told her she did not need any yet really, she said ok .

there is no set rule of a magic number in age.... for those things.

My dd8 is a skinny rail and I am fairly certain she will be small chested , considering thats the genes in the family. I am more worried on being picked on for being small chested then I am about a trainng bra. she does not want to wear one she thinks it sounds uncomfortable!

I say if it makes her feel better let her wear one, get her a chamisle and let her rotate around. the goal is to cover up a bit basiclly if she not truley needing a actual bra then use both.

I watch a little girl in 1st grade and she needs a training bra for sure she does not wear one. she is as developed as some 5th grader girls.

 

[badblackpug]

I'm going to go against the grain here. I understand what the OP is talking about when she worries that kids are growing up too fast. A bra indicates some type of maturity and sexual development. I think that is the appeal of these young children wearing bras. It makes them feel older, or it makes them think they appear older. I think that everything should come in due time. If there is really no need for support, then nipple show through can be managed with a plain camisole undershirt. I really think that children should be allowed to remain children as long as possible. I woud not have bought or allowed my 3rd grader to wear, a bra if she didn't need it. I would explain to her that there is a time for everything and we will cross that bridge when we come to it.

That being said, my oldest wore a bra at 10. She needed it. My next one (who turned 10 in August) remains undeveloped and bra-less. All the girls here wear them once they hit 6th grade, because they dress for P.E., but most need them by then.

 

[daisyduck123]

O. M. G. You guys are scaring the begeezus outta me! How will I know when my DD7 needs deodorant? I think I can figure out the bra thing and the period thing and the shaving thing. What determines when one needs deodorant?

I noticed it on my DD6 (she's 13 now) when I was standing next to her.
(This is also a child who had underarm & a LOT of "hair down there" by 8yo.

One day, it was just, all of the sudden, WHAM!!
She smelled just like any adult who was not wearing deodorant....and this was less than an hour after she's gotten out of the bath. I bought her some the next day. I could always tell when there was a day that she hadn't put it on....she would smell RIPE!

 

[ksumn1]

My DD will be 9 in November, and we went 2 weeks ago to get her a bra. She needs it under thin shirts, and will need one all the time before too long. We bought one of the thin ones with a little lace on it, and one with a teeny bit of padding with a front closure. Much easier for her to put on. We also bought deodorant because she told me that she smelled after PE class, and she thought she needed it. We've already talked about periods, and she's asking when she can shave her legs. I don't think she's ready for leg shaving yet.

I also bought the Care and Keeping of You book for her (after reading a similar thread a couple of months ago) and it's very informative. Really helps open the lines of communication. But be forewarned, it does show how to insert a tampon, so make sure you discuss that issue before you get the book. I had glossed over it, and DD's exact comment was "THAT thing goes THERE? EWW!"

It's so hard seeing them grow up so quickly. It really sends home the notion that she's not a little girl anymore. But my DM wasn't too forthcoming with me (I was clueless what to do when I started my period, and about sex too) and I'm determined to be open and honest with my girls.

 

[luvmy2sams]

DD8 is in 3rd grade this year, and we purchased a bunch of camisoles and those sport-type bras before school started. She's a dancer with a dancer's body, so it's not like she needed the support yet.

DH and I talked about these "milestones" and decided that when DD asked for a bra, to shave her legs, etc. that we'd let her. For us it's an issue of her confidence and self-esteem. She asked about bras when we were doing the back-to-school shopping, so we stocked up. Honestly, she'll go weeks without wearing anything. She just likes knowing that the option is there for her.