How old should children be to be left alone?

[DisneyBride'03]

Back in 1980, I had my Own room at the Poly...Lagoon view...just so I can babysit my little cousin when my aunt and uncle went out in the evenings..dinner..luau...I was 13...
What were they thinking??!! lol..They started this whole Disney thing...
I think kids mature differently...some are more responsible than others...you know your kids best!!

 

[Sammie]

I think it comes down to maturity level. Some kids are very responsible at 10 and 11 and some not until they are older. Each kid has to be judged individually. I don't think you can lump them all together and come up with a pat answer.

Definitely, I would think a parent would be the best judge of thier own child.

Also are their legal considerations, that if something happens would the parent be charged with neglect for a leaving a child alone.

Would they know what to do in an emergency such a fire?
Would they know not to allow anyone in the room while alone including Disney employees.
Would they know for no reason except fire would they leave the room?
Are they used to be lefting alone at home, if not then never would I have them take the first trial run on vacation in a strange place.
Do you have cell phone contact, and will it work?
If there are siblings do they get alone well when left alone?

As my Dad used to say your old enough to be left alone until something happens then you are way too young.

Considering Disney won't rent a room to anyone under 18, I truly don't know about anyone younger.

 

[ChelleinNC]

We have learned that our 2 kids do better together when we aren't with them. They are a team when left alone, but tend to bicker when a parent is around for attention.
We left them alone at the resort for the 1st time last year. They had been staying home alone (together) for about 8 months prior. DD was almost 13, had been babysitting since she was 10. DS was 9 1/2. Rules were spelled out ahead of time, no leaving the resort and they must stay together at all times. We had an early tee time, they slept the first couple of hours we were gone. The rule was they were to call when they woke up, and they did. They grabbed breakfast, bought a small bucket (we were at BC) and then spent time building sandcastles together (I swear there is no way they would have done that together if we had been around!) and called to ask if they could go to the arcade and use some of the money leftover from breakfast. They had a blast that day. Did it again twice this summer (once while we were in signing the papers on our dvc purchase & once to play golf) and they thoroughly enjoyed exploring SSR on their own.
Now one night DD wasn't feeling well when we were at the Studios and wanted to go back to SSR by herself and we wouldn't let her. We weren't comfortable with that, however if we had been staying at BCV or BWV we wouldn't have minded her getting on the boat to go back. It was the bus issue that worried us.
I know kids that couldn't or wouldn't want to be left alone at 14 years old. My kids are very independent and responsible. In the end, I think it really comes down to the children involved and each parent knows their child best.

 

[Sammie]

We have learned that our 2 kids do better together when we aren't with them. They are a team when left alone, but tend to bicker when a parent is around for attention.
We left them alone at the resort for the 1st time last year. They had been staying home alone (together) for about 8 months prior. DD was almost 13, had been babysitting since she was 10. DS was 9 1/2. Rules were spelled out ahead of time, no leaving the resort and they must stay together at all times. We had an early tee time, they slept the first couple of hours we were gone. The rule was they were to call when they woke up, and they did. They grabbed breakfast, bought a small bucket (we were at BC) and then spent time building sandcastles together (I swear there is no way they would have done that together if we had been around!) and called to ask if they could go to the arcade and use some of the money leftover from breakfast. They had a blast that day. Did it again twice this summer (once while we were in signing the papers on our dvc purchase & once to play golf) and they thoroughly enjoyed exploring SSR on their own.
Now one night DD wasn't feeling well when we were at the Studios and wanted to go back to SSR by herself and we wouldn't let her. We weren't comfortable with that, however if we had been staying at BCV or BWV we wouldn't have minded her getting on the boat to go back. It was the bus issue that worried us.
I know kids that couldn't or wouldn't want to be left alone at 14 years old. My kids are very independent and responsible. In the end, I think it really comes down to the children involved and each parent knows their child best.

Obviously your kids are very mature, do they go out on outings alone at home like this?

We weren't comfortable with that, however if we had been staying at BCV or BWV we wouldn't have minded her getting on the boat to go back. It was the bus issue that worried

Why would the boat be safer, she would still be alone and walking back to the room alone?

 

[UConnJack]

Definitely a parental judgment call. For most kids I think 13 is definitely old enough (although some still aren't). Below that age, it really depends on how mature and responsible the child is, whether he or she is alone or with or responsible for a sibling, the child's own comfort level with the situation, and of course the parent's comfort level.

My 5 yd old DD is so responsible now that I am sometimes tempted to leave her at home to run to the corner store. Don't worry, I don't, but I am comfortable leaving her in the house alone while I am outside mowing the lawn. If she continues to mature like this, I can see being comfortable leaving her home alone for short periods when she is 9-11 years old. Alone in a hotel or DVC room, I probably wouldn't feel comfortable until 11 yrs old at least, but we'll see.

Of course, being overprotective can be detrimental to a kid's development of independence, so I am going to try to give her opportunities to be left alone as she grows up. Kids need to learn how and be comfortable with being on their own.

 

[ChelleinNC]

Obviously your kids are very mature, do they go out on outings alone at home like this?

At home they'll go around the neighborhood (decent size neighborhood) together or alone. There are still rules about checking in and letting us know where they are. DD is almost 14 now, has a cell phone and gets to go farther away/longer than her brother. She's allowed to go to the middle school football games as long as she's with a friend, has her phone charged... DS would like a cell phone, but at 10 1/2, I've told him that he's not gonna be far enough away from an adult (or his sister) to need one yet. It'll happen soon enough, he's only a year away from middle school.

DD has always been mature and independent, she was the one that told us we didn't need to walk her into preschool on the first day, and first sleep away camp at age 6 1/2 told us "you can leave now" as soon as she was checked in. DS is just a good kid. He's always been one to follow rules, and gets upset when others don't. They really do work good as a team when left together, of course as I said before if we're around they will definitely bicker and fight like brother & sister.

As far as why we felt better about the boat, it's because it's closer to the gate & rooms than the bus lots, can't get on the wrong boat, and we've stayed at BC so many times that we know she wouldn't get lost. This was our 1st stay at SSR, it was night time and you have to walk across the parking lots from the bus stop to the buildings.

 

[Mississippian]

in the uk its againt the law to leave a child home alone under the age of 14.You might have read a lot of reports about the Maccans who left there 3 children alone in portugal while they went for a meal.One went missing,what happend is subject to congeture,but a lot of people think they should at least be prosicuted for leving them unatended
Paulh

My understanding is that in some rural areas of the UK the age to drink in a pub is 16. Certainly that was the case when my wife went to a rural boarding school about 15 years ago. So the children go from not able to stay home alone to able to drink in a pub in two years. Fancy that!

 

[TinkGirl]

We started letting the kids stay in the room while my husband and I ran last summer when they were 9, 11, and 13. Granted, we were never gone more than an hour. This past trip my son (14) opted to stay in the room for some snacks and alone time when we were elsewhere on the resort. We still pick and choose our times--our biggest issue is FIGHTING! My daughter (youngest with two old brothers) can be a she-devil.

 

[squirrlygirl]

When my brother was 11, he set our house on fire. When my uncles were 9&10, they set their house on fire. While it might be genetic it still gives me pause. My kid's sitter (14, red-cross certified) left my kids alone to go to the neighbor's house (out of ear-shot, we're a country sub). She figured my son was old enough to watch the younger ones (If that's the case, why did I hire her?) The nursery worker at our church "forgot" and left my 3-yr. old alone in the nursery (she was 17). Point being that kids do stupid things because they don't think of the consequences.

I don't think there's any need to push the envelope on how young you start giving your children that kind of independence. My oldest gets more freedom as he earns it, and so far we've taken steps backwards twice. He's 11 1/2. I don't care if he's 14 before he's allowed to leave the sub; he has to be ready. I would never give him freedom he's not ready for just to make my life a little easier. And if I'm not sure if he's ready, I wouldn't be giving a trial run at a resort.

But that's my kids and my experiences.

 

[wilma-bride]

in the uk its againt the law to leave a child home alone under the age of 14.You might have read a lot of reports about the Maccans who left there 3 children alone in portugal while they went for a meal.One went missing,what happend is subject to congeture,but a lot of people think they should at least be prosicuted for leving them unatended
Paulh

I'm afraid you're wrong about UK law Paul (see below)

What does the law say?

English law does not specify an age when a child can be left unsupervised. However, parents may be prosecuted for neglect if they leave a child alone “in a manner which is likely to cause unnecessary suffering or injury to health” (Children and Young Persons Act, 1933).

The National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (NSPCC) advises that no child should be left alone under the age of twelve, or overnight under the age of sixteen. Even a short stretch without a parent or another adult around can be distressing and lonely for a young child. Most eight to thirteen year olds, even if they feel happy about being left, may not be ready to cope in an emergency.

As for the McCanns, it's a completely different scenario - their kids were only tiny (all toddlers) and should never have been left alone. I believe what people are talking about here are teenagers.

My understanding is that in some rural areas of the UK the age to drink in a pub is 16. Certainly that was the case when my wife went to a rural boarding school about 15 years ago. So the children go from not able to stay home alone to able to drink in a pub in two years. Fancy that!

The legal age for drinking alcohol here in the UK is 18 - there are no exceptions to this, although I do know that some publicans years ago were perhaps not as strict about the law as others but not so much now.

Personally, last year we left our two DDs (12 and 13 at the time) in the hotel room (not at WDW) while we went to dinner. They were left with specific instructions not to leave the hotel, although they were allowed to go down to the lobby to get something to eat. They were both in bed when we got back, having pigged out on junk food all night We also allowed them to go to the pool by themselves one morning while we went shopping - again, they were told to be either at the pool or in the room but nowhere else.

At home, they occasionally look after their younger brother (he is nearly 5) but only when he is in bed and asleep and never for more than a couple of hours. They are pretty trustworthy and I am confident that they would know how to cope in most, if not all, emergency situations but I would definitely not feel happy about them staying on their own overnight or anything like that. I'm not even sure if I would let them go off to the parks on their own yet (although they are asking if they might be allowed to do that when we are at WDW in April).

 

[Mississippian]

The legal age for drinking alcohol here in the UK is 18 - there are no exceptions to this, although I do know that some publicans years ago were perhaps not as strict about the law as others but not so much now.

My wife attended Atlantic College in Wales, which was a sixth-form school serving kids from all over the place. It may have been just the on-campus pub that was allowed to serve 16-year-olds on the grounds that "there was nothing else to do", but they did have a legel exception to the law. I'm not sure what the rules were in the nearby village of Glamorgan. It may well have been 18.

Most of the European students were 16 and 17. The Americans were a year older because our educational system is so sorry and thus our students tend to be way behind the Europeans (of course, European colleges are pretty lousy compared to American ones, so I guess we catch up).

This was in the mid 1990s. Not sure what the rules are now.

 

[Sammie]

At home they'll go around the neighborhood (decent size neighborhood) together or alone. There are still rules about checking in and letting us know where they are. DD is almost 14 now, has a cell phone and gets to go farther away/longer than her brother. She's allowed to go to the middle school football games as long as she's with a friend, has her phone charged... DS would like a cell phone, but at 10 1/2, I've told him that he's not gonna be far enough away from an adult (or his sister) to need one yet. It'll happen soon enough, he's only a year away from middle school.

DD has always been mature and independent, she was the one that told us we didn't need to walk her into preschool on the first day, and first sleep away camp at age 6 1/2 told us "you can leave now" as soon as she was checked in. DS is just a good kid. He's always been one to follow rules, and gets upset when others don't. They really do work good as a team when left together, of course as I said before if we're around they will definitely bicker and fight like brother & sister.

As far as why we felt better about the boat, it's because it's closer to the gate & rooms than the bus lots, can't get on the wrong boat, and we've stayed at BC so many times that we know she wouldn't get lost. This was our 1st stay at SSR, it was night time and you have to walk across the parking lots from the bus stop to the buildings.

Your children sound very responsible, and I don't think you have any reason not to find them trustworthy to do as you have asked. But are you not concerned about the people they may encounter while alone?

In your area they are around people they know at Disney, too many strangers for my comfort.

 

[DiznEeyore]

When we were at the Poly this past May, we left ds (14) in the room for a couple of hours while we did laundry (he'd sprained his ankle and just hung out in bed w/his ankle on ice). We had two-way radios to keep in touch.

We also left him asleep in the room while we took the monorail to the GF to do our Photopass CD. He knew we were leaving, and again, we had the two-ways. We were gone a little over 90 minutes.

No problems either time.

Next time we'll all have cell phones -- I think I prefer those to two-ways.

 

[gracelrm]

Our DD 14 has been fine to stay by herself for about 3 years for short amounts of time. Our DS11 might stay on his own for 30 minutes or so (while I run to the store or something) but he usually calls and asks how much longer until I get home. He's a little freaked out by being alone. Our three kids don't really do well together with DD14 in charge, but we have left them for very short amounts of time with very specific directions and rules while at WDW. They are usually exhausted from a day in the park or swimming and are happy to lay on the bed to watch some TV. It works for us, but only under certain circumstances. Sometimes we notice that one DS is in a foul mood - so we never leave them together if he's having a "bad" day. I think you have to make your decision based upon your own children AND how things are going for that particular day.

 

[buzz5985]

When my DS turned 10 - I started little training sessions with him. I started with 10 minute trips to get milk. Then 20 minute trips, etc. He is now close to 11 and I will comfortably leave him at home for 60 minutes. If he was in Disney - I would not have this same level of comfort.

I don't think there are predetors roaming the halls of Disney waiting for an unsuspecting child to open the door. I just think he would get too lonely. At home he has his XBox - which he can use without counting towards his weekly limit - if I'm not home. I know that's cheesy. But it works.

Janis

 

[eliza61]

This post is so ironic. I finally felt safe to leave my sons at home by themselves for a little while when they hit ~13 yrs. Now that they are older teenage boys with hormones raging and girlfriends that look like mini-beyonce's I don't want to leave them home alone anymore!

 

[Sammie]

The only thing that bothers me on threads likes these that sometimes I get the impression that some feel Disney is safer than other places such as major cities. This is a very wrong impression.

At any given day there are over 100,000 people on the Disney property and that does not include the parks. Everyone needs to remember that not everyone there is a good, kind person just because it is Disney.

Crime happens every day at Disney things are stolen from guests, drug deals are made, people get into domestic problems and have fights, guns are siezed, Disney just does a very good job of not revealing that.

And yes pediophiles have been arrested at Disney and some of these crimes are committed by Disney employees. My nieces who were 15 and where with a group of 6 which included older boys, were propositioned by a Disney CM in the MK. I can only imagine what might have happend if this person had approached a younger female. Yes they reported it immediately and yes he was fired.

This is not to say that they don't do a good job with security because they do, but it is not the safe haven some think it to be.

 

[crisi]

The only thing that bothers me on threads likes these that sometimes I get the impression that some feel Disney is safer than other places such as major cities. This is a very wrong impression.

At any given day there are over 100,000 people on the Disney property and that does not include the parks. Everyone needs to remember that not everyone there is a good, kind person just because it is Disney.

Crime happens every day at Disney things are stolen from guests, drug deals are made, people get into domestic problems and have fights, guns are siezed, Disney just does a very good job of not revealing that.

And yes pediophiles have been arrested at Disney and some of these crimes are committed by Disney employees. My nieces who were 15 and where with a group of 6 which included older boys, were propositioned by a Disney CM in the MK. I can only imagine what might have happend if this person had approached a younger female. Yes they reported it immediately and yes he was fired.

This is not to say that they don't do a good job with security because they do, but it is not the safe haven some think it to be.

But Disney is also VERY populated...there is almost no where you can be alone out in public. If your kids know not to talk to strangers (even CMs if they are asking them to "come with them") and know how to yell "NO, STOP, HELP" and know that if they are approached they should walk into the nearest store (not like there aren't a zillion of them) and immediately report it - there isn't a lot of danger. It really comes down to "do you trust your kids or not." If you don't trust your kids to not talk to strangers, to blindly go off with someone, or to not yell if they are touched, they shouldn't be alone at WDW. If your kids have basic safety skills - which presumably, they need to learn at sometime so they don't turn 18 and wander off to be sexually assaulted by the first person who asks them to step into an empty room - they are as safe at Disney as anywhere.

That said, I also would be more comfortable letting kids go back at night to the BW or BC rather than SSR - due to the populated area issue.

The impression I'm left with of the "other side" is that people shelter their kids so much that they don't bother to teach them to be streetwise. Streetwise is an important life skill.

 

[Sammie]

But Disney is also VERY populated...there is almost no where you can be alone out in public. If your kids know not to talk to strangers (even CMs if they are asking them to "come with them") and know how to yell "NO, STOP, HELP" and know that if they are approached they should walk into the nearest store (not like there aren't a zillion of them) and immediately report it - there isn't a lot of danger. It really comes down to "do you trust your kids or not." If you don't trust your kids to not talk to strangers, to blindly go off with someone, or to not yell if they are touched, they shouldn't be alone at WDW. If your kids have basic safety skills - which presumably, they need to learn at sometime so they don't turn 18 and wander off to be sexually assaulted by the first person who asks them to step into an empty room - they are as safe at Disney as anywhere.

That said, I also would be more comfortable letting kids go back at night to the BW or BC rather than SSR - due to the populated area issue.

The impression I'm left with of the "other side" is that people shelter their kids so much that they don't bother to teach them to be streetwise. Streetwise is an important life skill.

I totally agree. I have friends however that would never let their child have this much freedom anywhere except Disney. They are not streetwise at home, according to thier parents due to too much crime. However for some reason they think that at Disney crime does not exist. They are very naive.

 

[crisi]

Those folks are naive. Disney is a pretty safe neighborhood, but even in pretty safe neighborhoods kids need to be taught not to talk to strangers, not to hang out with the bad kids, and to walk away if anything makes you uncomfortable. I'd let me kids be alone at Disney long before I'd let them be alone in a lot of other places, but that just means that other places are "less safe."

(There is no way my underage kids are going to DTD solo until their late teens - and then ONLY in the afternoon - nightime at Pleasure Island is a grown up event. Letting my young teens spend a few hours at Epcot or MK alone, that I'll do - or I hope to, they are responsible enough now to let me think they'll be ready for it - but that could change).