How old is too old (regarding restrooms and kids)?

[lntsmom]

This is one of those threads that really irks me.

My advice: the parent or guardian of this child needs to ignore how anyone else "feels". Too bad if they don't like the choices the parent/guardian makes. He's not their kid. We have a whole generation of young adults who have never come to realize that the world doesn't revolve around them and their feelings. I blame the whole "I'm Okay, You're Okay" movement of the 70's. We spent a lot of time building up self esteem in the children of the 70's and 80's- The term "Me Generation" didn't just happen. Unless you are in the position of being legally responsible for this child your opinion doesn't matter!

You are his aunt, not his mother. Where is his mother and why isn't she making the decision on this? If Grandma is raising the boy- or if she is his guardian for this trip- Grandma makes the call. Only the parent or guardian has any right to make this decision.

Everyone else needs to keep their mouths shut and mind their own business! I can't believe that you would want to start a war about parenting issues with your own mother...especially during a trip that should be devoid of power struggles if any of you want to enjoy it.

 

[TinaLala]

DH waits outside the women's bathroom when our DD10 has to go to the bathroom I understand your concern but I think if you wait outside and shout to him then it will be ok.

 

[princessmom29]

This is one of those threads that really irks me.

My advice: ignore how anyone else "feels". Too bad if they don't like it. He's not their kid. We have a whole generation of young adults who have never come to realize that the world doesn't revolve around them and their feelings. I blame the whole "I'm Okay, You're Okay" movement of the 70's. We spent a lot of time building up self esteem in the children of the 70's and 80's- The term "Me Generation" didn't just happen.

You are his aunt, not his mother. Where is his mother and why isn't she making the decision on this? If Grandma is raising the boy- or if she is his guardian for this trip- Grandma makes the call. Only the parent or guardian has any right to make this decision.

Everyone else needs to keep their mouths shut and mind their own business! I can't believe that you would want to start a war about parenting issues with your own mother...especially during a trip that should be devoid of power struggles if any of you want to enjoy it.

I sm sorry, but not if he is in the same restroom as my daughter!!!! My DD has the right do to be embarrased in the ladies room by a boy to old to be there. It is a question where one person's rights end and another's begin.

I also don't feel like I am donig anything wrong by fostering self esteem and self sufficiency in my daughter. I prefer to teach her to respect athority and think for herself that to obey implicitly without qusetion. Everyone has a right to their opinion and it's expression in this country and for me that includes children as long as they do it in a respectful manner. it does not necessairly mean that they get their way, but they do have the right to be heard, if they are doing it in an appropriate manner, i.e. not whining, yelling, or being rude.

 

[MiniGirl]

Unfortunately Disney does not have family restrooms. They have companion restrooms which are for people who need assistance using the facilities.

I think that a 10 yr old boy is too old to be going into a womens restroom. Hopefully you can talk some sense into your mom.

This comes up every time there is a restroom question on the DIS. Yes, these restrooms are for those with a special need. However, it is up to each individual (or family) to determine if they have a need. It is not up to you or I or anyone else to determine that. I see no problem with using these restrooms if it gives the adult peace of mind, saves the child from embarrassment, and also keeps other guests from feeling uncomfortable.

My in-laws care for several special needs adults and even they do not feel these restrooms are for the exclusive use of the physically challenged. Of course, they are always appreciative when others allow them to go ahead of them when this is the only stall/restroom available, but they do not feel it is their right.

And on a personal note..... on a recent trip to WDW, my dd (9) almost had an accident because there was a young boy about her age in the restroom. She felt so uncomfortable with him in there she would not go into a stall until he left. I have no idea what the other family's situation was, and am not passing judgment. I just think that we need to be aware of others around us, and how our actions affect them. In this situation, the family/companion restrooms are a good alternative and give the other women and young girls the privacy they are entitled to as well.

ETA: After reading the post above mine, I should add that one reason she was uncomfortable was because this young boy was looking in the stalls. She is very modest, and I see no problem with her not wanting anyone (male or female) watching her.

 

[GRUMPY PIRATE]

Reminds me of the last trip. DW and I were taking a restroom break at Epcot, as we split up heading for the different entrences, a women asked me if I would check on her son "bob" , so as I walked in I called out "bob" your mom is waiting for you" I could hear several men give a chuckle, and then a boys voice from a stall said "Tell her i'm BUSY!" which caused a few more laughs.
I finished and left. Told the lady that he was still busy.

As I was waiting for DW, I saw "bob" (about 12 or so) come out and meet up with mom. "Bob" was upset that mom had checked on him!

there are enough dads and granddads around that it should be no problem for him to use the facilities.

if nothing else, if you see a dad taking his boy in, he might "assist" in watching over him while using the facility.

 

[sonnesolsun]

Unfortunately Disney does not have family restrooms. .

We just got back from Disney and they have Family restrooms all over the parks. They are readlily available and if your mom insists, I would just use those for him!

Have a great trip!!!

 

[Zeebs]

I have a three year old who asks me WHY every time he has to come into a ladies room with me. I hate to imagine what he will be like in a couple of years time.

I don't feel uncomfortable if there are boys in the changing room, so I don't really care either way. But I would have thought at 10 he would be able to look after himself.

I also don't buy into there is someone ready to pounce in every bathroom, swimming pool, beach etc. I will be teaching my children about stranger danger and we don't have secrets in our house etc. I will not let the small few turn a beautiful world into one of hate and fear for my children.

Kirsten

 

[TinkInPink]

You're wrong! Your daughter has the right to step out and wait. You have the right to keep her locked up at home, away from anything and anyone who might not wish to allow you to be the all-powerful-ruler-of-the-universe.

You do not have the right to tell another parent- any other parent- how to raise their children.

Don't be ridiculous- this is not an issue of a boy being in a women's bathroom alone. He is traveling with a group of women.

If your daughter is so emotionally fragile that seeing a 10 year old boy in a girls bathroom would cause her distress you might want to consider counseling.

Sorry But I have to disagree. I at 17 would not like to see a 10 year old BOY in the WOMAN'S restroom. That isn't emotional fragility but a basic right to privacy. It wouldn't be the girls job to step out and wait she is doing nothing wrong. By using a female restroom I am following the societal rules that are established by that handy dandy sign on the door. the boy isn't. I'm perfectly fine with toddlers and very young boys (up to 5 or so) but 10 is just too old.

Also, Unless traveling in a group of women means he transforms into a girl , he is still a boy in the woman's restroom.

 

[Hannathy]

You're wrong! Your daughter has the right to step out and wait. You have the right to keep her locked up at home, away from anything and anyone who might not wish to allow you to be the all-powerful-ruler-of-the-universe.

You do not have the right to tell another parent- any other parent- how to raise their children.

Don't be ridiculous- this is not an issue of a boy being in a women's bathroom alone. He is traveling with a group of women.

If your daughter is so emotionally fragile that seeing a 10 year old boy in a girls bathroom would cause her distress you might want to consider counseling.

Wow just Wow! kettle meet pot. you are doing exactly what you told her not to, how to parent. and the same could be said for the boy if he is too immature at 10 (without special needs) to go to the bathroom himself then I would also suggest counseling for that child and the parent if it is just a matter of not letting them grow up.

 

[stella27]

You're wrong! Your daughter has the right to step out and wait. You have the right to keep her locked up at home, away from anything and anyone who might not wish to allow you to be the all-powerful-ruler-of-the-universe.

You do not have the right to tell another parent- any other parent- how to raise their children.

Don't be ridiculous- this is not an issue of a boy being in a women's bathroom alone. He is traveling with a group of women.

If your daughter is so emotionally fragile that seeing a 10 year old boy in a girls bathroom would cause her distress you might want to consider counseling.

Goodness, why so hostile? I don't use the restroom when there are 10 year old boys in the room, and I don't think I need counseling. For this reason, anyway.

 

[livndisney]

We just got back from Disney and they have Family restrooms all over the parks. They are readlily available and if your mom insists, I would just use those for him!

Have a great trip!!!

No, Disney does not have Family restrooms. They have limited companion restrooms as marked in the Guide for Disabilites.

from Disneyworld.com:

RESTROOMS
Most restrooms throughout the Walt Disney World® Resort have facilities designed for access by Guests using wheelchairs. Companion-assisted restroom facilities are located at all First Aid locations, as well as at: Magic Kingdom® Park Lower level of Cinderella's Royal Table Mickey's Toontown Fair Next to Space Mountain® Pirates of the Caribbean Splash Mountain Transportation and Ticket Center East Gate

The moderator on the disabilities board has written several posts about the limited number of these restrooms. And how difficult (if not impossible) it may be for wheelchair users to use the "handicapped" stall in the mainstream restrooms making these restrooms the ONLY toilets in the park the disabled can use.

 

[minniem]

Sorry, but I'm in the minority here. I havea 9 1/2 year old who still comes into the Ladies room with me. There is NO WAY I am letting him go in by himself yet at a public place that I can not monitor. Molestation can happen very quickly. We have heard of several cases - in our area - of young boys (7-11) going into restrooms and being "touched" by older males. Sorry, that's not a chance I'm willing to take.

My son isn't embarrased. I have explained to him that it is for his safety. No one else should feel uncomfortable either. Everything that you are doing in there is behind a closed door. It's not like you are standing at a urinal in a mens room with everything hanging out. He does not bend down and look under the walls, he just takes care of his buisiness and we leave.

I have to agree. I have a DS who just turned 7 and I still make him go to the women's room with me when we are out. There are crazy people out there and maybe I'm over protective, but children only have their innocence for so long. My son sometimes questions why he has to go in with me and I just tell him it's so I know he's safe since I don't know who's in the men's room.

That being said, when ever we are out with my DH, he takes him into the men's room with him. If there is a family room and I'm by myself I take him in there vs. the women's room. But it's like this poster said, everything in a women's room is done behind a closed door unlike a men's room.

Now my DH doesn't like to go out with my DD (4) by himself b/c he does not feel comfortable taking her to the men's room. But I have no problem taking my kids in with me, it's for their own safety in a public amusement park.

I don't know how I'll feel in 2 years when he's 9, but now at 7 I'm just not comfortable with it.

 

[mrsbornkuntry]

I don't understand the problem with a boy in the women's restroom, I have seen boys patiently waiting for an adult over by the paper towel holders, I didn't give them a long enough glance to even think about how old they are. Maybe it's because I have boys, but it doesn't bother me or my daughter at all. Then again, I also have never seen a boy over toddler/preschool age walking around looking under the stalls. I have seen older girls doing it, though. I would feel bad that he had to wait in those lines at the bathrooms when the men's room would probably be much faster, though.

That being said, 10 really is old enough to go in the men's room alone. There are places that I get a bad "feeling" and decide he either has to wait for dad, go with me, or I open the door an inch and yell things like "I'm ready to go when you are" so anyone in there knows he's being watched. But I didn't feel that way at WDW at all and he would take his brothers with him usually.

 

[minniem]

Sorry, but I'm in the minority here. I havea 9 1/2 year old who still comes into the Ladies room with me. There is NO WAY I am letting him go in by himself yet at a public place that I can not monitor. Molestation can happen very quickly. We have heard of several cases - in our area - of young boys (7-11) going into restrooms and being "touched" by older males. Sorry, that's not a chance I'm willing to take.

My son isn't embarrased. I have explained to him that it is for his safety. No one else should feel uncomfortable either. Everything that you are doing in there is behind a closed door. It's not like you are standing at a urinal in a mens room with everything hanging out. He does not bend down and look under the walls, he just takes care of his buisiness and we leave.

I have to agree. I have a DS who just turned 7 and I still make him go to the women's room with me when we are out. There are crazy people out there and maybe I'm over protective, but children only have their innocence for so long. My son sometimes questions why he has to go in with me and I just tell him it's so I know he's safe since I don't know who's in the men's room.

That being said, when ever we are out with my DH, he takes him into the men's room with him. If there is a family room and I'm by myself I take him in there vs. the women's room. But it's like this poster said, everything in a women's room is done behind a closed door unlike a men's room.

Now my DH doesn't like to go out with my DD (4) by himself b/c he does not feel comfortable taking her to the men's room. But I have no problem taking my kids in with me, it's for their own safety in a public amusement park.

I don't know how I'll feel in 2 years when he's 9, but now at 7 I'm just not comfortable with it.

 

[kevschickee]

This is one of those threads that really irks me.

My advice: the parent or guardian of this child needs to ignore how anyone else "feels". Too bad if they don't like the choices the parent/guardian makes. He's not their kid. We have a whole generation of young adults who have never come to realize that the world doesn't revolve around them and their feelings. I blame the whole "I'm Okay, You're Okay" movement of the 70's. We spent a lot of time building up self esteem in the children of the 70's and 80's- The term "Me Generation" didn't just happen. Unless you are in the position of being legally responsible for this child your opinion doesn't matter!

You are his aunt, not his mother. Where is his mother and why isn't she making the decision on this? If Grandma is raising the boy- or if she is his guardian for this trip- Grandma makes the call. Only the parent or guardian has any right to make this decision.

Everyone else needs to keep their mouths shut and mind their own business! I can't believe that you would want to start a war about parenting issues with your own mother...especially during a trip that should be devoid of power struggles if any of you want to enjoy it.

Wow that is just awful. No people shouldn't have to keep their mouths shut esp if they think something is wrong.

I sm sorry, but not if he is in the same restroom as my daughter!!!! My DD has the right do to be embarrased in the ladies room by a boy to old to be there. It is a question where one person's rights end and another's begin.

I also don't feel like I am donig anything wrong by fostering self esteem and self sufficiency in my daughter. I prefer to teach her to respect athority and think for herself that to obey implicitly without qusetion. Everyone has a right to their opinion and it's expression in this country and for me that includes children as long as they do it in a respectful manner. it does not necessairly mean that they get their way, but they do have the right to be heard, if they are doing it in an appropriate manner, i.e. not whining, yelling, or being rude.

You're wrong! Your daughter has the right to step out and wait. You have the right to keep her locked up at home, away from anything and anyone who might not wish to allow you to be the all-powerful-ruler-of-the-universe.

You do not have the right to tell another parent- any other parent- how to raise their children.

Don't be ridiculous- this is not an issue of a boy being in a women's bathroom alone. He is traveling with a group of women.

If your daughter is so emotionally fragile that seeing a 10 year old boy in a girls bathroom would cause her distress you might want to consider counseling.

How about the little girl seeing a boy in the bathroom embarrases her? She doesn't need couseling she is a little girl. You are rude. Also why should she step out? She is in the girls room for good sakes.

Sorry But I have to disagree. I at 17 would not like to see a 10 year old BOY in the WOMAN'S restroom. That isn't emotional fragility but a basic right to privacy. It wouldn't be the girls job to step out and wait she is doing nothing wrong. By using a female restroom I am following the societal rules that are established by that handy dandy sign on the door. the boy isn't. I'm perfectly fine with toddlers and very young boys (up to 5 or so) but 10 is just too old.

Also, Unless traveling in a group of women means he transforms into a girl , he is still a boy in the woman's restroom.

I agree with you

Wow just Wow! kettle meet pot. you are doing exactly what you told her not to, how to parent. and the same could be said for the boy if he is too immature at 10 (without special needs) to go to the bathroom himself then I would also suggest counseling for that child and the parent if it is just a matter of not letting them grow up.

 

[wickywinn]

No, Disney does not have Family restrooms. They have limited companion restrooms as marked in the Guide for Disabilites.

from Disneyworld.com:

RESTROOMS
Most restrooms throughout the Walt Disney World® Resort have facilities designed for access by Guests using wheelchairs. Companion-assisted restroom facilities are located at all First Aid locations, as well as at: Magic Kingdom® Park Lower level of Cinderella's Royal Table Mickey's Toontown Fair Next to Space Mountain® Pirates of the Caribbean Splash Mountain Transportation and Ticket Center East Gate

The moderator on the disabilities board has written several posts about the limited number of these restrooms. And how difficult (if not impossible) it may be for wheelchair users to use the "handicapped" stall in the mainstream restrooms making these restrooms the ONLY toilets in the park the disabled can use.

Yes, they are designed so that those who are wheelchair bound have access. Access does not mean exclusive use. It does not give certain folks the right to make the assumption that they are for their sole use- and that means families too - and get upset when parents use them with children or vice versa, which I have seen. Companion bathrooms/family restrooms = the same thing. It is for the use of people who need an alternative. Both wheelchair bound and mother with son, father with daughter, etc. Yes, they need more of these bathrooms but they are not strictly for those wheelchair bound. If they were it would say so. And they would not have a picture of a family along with the wheelchair accessible symbol. I use them with my DS7 and DS4 when available. When not, I wait my turn. I do the same when my sister needs to use the bathroom. Wait our turn at the door until it is available. And guess what? She hasn't complained yet.

My sister is completely confined to a wheelchair btw, paralyzed entirely on her left side, so please no one accuse me of being insensitive...not directed at person who originally wrote this just in general mind you.

 

[Schmeck]

But when you have other alternatives, as in using the standard ladies' restroom, it is very selfish to use one of the companion restrooms. People just need to remember that they are not really 'family restrooms' and that for some people, they are the only restroom they can use in the park, and they are few and far between. I admit that it is a tough balancing act.

When it comes to access, just remember that it might be the only access someone has to a restroom.

 

[livndisney]

Yes, they are designed so that those who are wheelchair bound have access. Access does not mean exclusive use. It does not give certain folks the right to make the assumption that they are for their sole use- and that means families too - and get upset when parents use them with children or vice versa, which I have seen. Companion bathrooms/family restrooms = the same thing. It is for the use of people who need an alternative. Both wheelchair bound and mother with son, father with daughter, etc. Yes, they need more of these bathrooms but they are not strictly for those wheelchair bound. If they were it would say so. And they would not have a picture of a family along with the wheelchair accessible symbol. I use them with my DS7 and DS4 when available. When not, I wait my turn. I do the same when my sister needs to use the bathroom. Wait our turn at the door until it is available. And guess what? She hasn't complained yet.

My sister is completely confined to a wheelchair btw, paralyzed entirely on her left side, so please no one accuse me of being insensitive...not directed at person who originally wrote this just in general mind you.

I respectfully disagree. The signs on the companion restroom do not have a family symbol. This is not the symbol on the companion restrooms. http://www.exitsignwarehouse.com/product/ESW-ADA-F.html
They have a wheel chair symbol and a male and female symbol.

Since Disney lists these restrooms in the guide for disabilites, I think there intent is clear. Although I do know many people prefer to use them just because it is "easier" for them personally. (Not directed at anyone, just in general)

To quote Sue the Disabilities Moderator:

"For some people, the Companion Restrooms are the only 4-6 toilets in the park that they are able to use.
So, speaking for people who have no other choice, I only ask that people think of what options they might have besides using the Companion Restrooms. If there are other options you can use, we would appreciate if you would choose another option and leave the Companion Restrooms for the people who have no other choices and can only use those 4-6 toilets."

 

[sk!mom]

He needs to use the restroom by himself as do all normal 10 year olds. They need their privacy just as much as and adult and if they have been taught not to let strangers near them they will be fine. At disney I have never been in a restroom with less than 10 people in it at a time. If someone approaches him all he has to do is speak up. I think it is completely ridiculous to think he cannot go into a bathroom by himself. My 5 year old DD gets her own stall in the restroom, and DH is confident sending her in by herself at walmart, target ect. She knows to go in, do her business and come out.

ITA... The restrooms are so crowded at WDW that a typical 10 year old should be fine alone. He goes in, does his business, and hollers if there's a problem.

 

[kevschickee]

ITA... The restrooms are so crowded at WDW that a typical 10 year old should be fine alone. He goes in, does his business, and hollers if there's a problem.

I agree. There is no reason why he can't go alone. I am an over protective mom but I would be ok with my child going potty at 10 by herself