How old is too old (regarding restrooms and kids)?

[MissRoseDarrensAngel]

My nephew is nearly 10 and looks about 12. He will be the only male in a group of 3 females - his grandmother, me - his aunt, and his 7 year old sister.

My mother is insistent on the fact that she will accompany my nephew and take him to the ladies' restrooms in the parks when he needs to use the facilities. He is perfectly capable of handling himself without help - I think its more because my mother thinks some bad person will hurt the child.

Should she accompany him and wait outside the stall for him in the ladies with stall door closed??

Or should she accompany him to the men's room and wait outside his stall there with stall door closed?

Or should she trust him enough to use the men's room alone?

 

[TinkInPink]

at 10 I would think if she waited outside the mens room door he would be old enough to go in, do his business and come out. And if for some reason he was taking too long she could yell in. etc.

 

[marlynnp]

He's too old. How embarrassing for the kid!
She should wait for him outside the entrance.

 

[natnelliesmom]

I agree that he's too old to go into the women's room! My goodness! I would feel a little funny about using the bathroom myself if there was an older boy in there!

Almost all of the restroom areas have a family restroom which is separate from the other larger bathrooms. If she is genuinely worried about him going alone into the big restroom- why not have him use the family room? Then you can all just wait for him outside and know right where he is.

We often use this room for my DD6. She likes to do things on her own- so we just let her go in and then wait outside.

-Sarah

 

[luvsJack]

I agree with the other posters, entirely too old for anyone to be "taking" him to the bathroom! I don't even go with dd every time she goes. Just waiting outside the door should be plenty.

 

[VBAndrea]

I think most tourist places would have family restrooms to use and that's what I would use. All the ones I've ever seen are one private bathroom so you could sent him in and wait outside and not worry about someone harming him in any way.

My ds is 7, and while I have let him use the Walmart's men's room with me waiting outside (or any shopping store for that matter), but when we recently stopped at a rest stop I made him come in the ladies room with me. I never would trust a rest stop. My dd asked why he had to come in the ladies room while we were entering and I told her there could be a stranger that could harm in the men's room and he needed to be with me for safety. Another women in the rest room heard and completely agreed.

I would just make sure nephew gets a good lecture about safety and to scream for help using the word "help" if anyone would try to harm him.

 

[mjkacmom]

A 10 year old does not belong in the ladies room. I start letting my boys starting around 6, depending upon where we are (no way I'm letting a little boy into the mens room at a train station). I recently saw this brought up in Dear Ann Landers, and her response was that once the child is uncomfortable, it's time.

 

[SmallWorld71]

What does he normally do in this kind of situation?
I can't imagine that he would be O.K. with this. While there are of course exceptions to every rule (child with special needs etc...) the vast majority of kids this age do not need an adult w/ them in the rest room. I frequently travel with just DS10 and DD6 so I understand your mother's fear. Since there are 2 adults, one of you can stand outside the men's room waiting for him to come out as PP mentioned, while someone is in the ladies' room with DD and then you can switch. Takes a little longer that way of course, but safety is always the top priority.

 

[maxiesmom]

I think most tourist places would have family restrooms to use and that's what I would use. All the ones I've ever seen are one private bathroom so you could sent him in and wait outside and not worry about someone harming him in any way.

Unfortunately Disney does not have family restrooms. They have companion restrooms which are for people who need assistance using the facilities.

I think that a 10 yr old boy is too old to be going into a womens restroom. Hopefully you can talk some sense into your mom.

 

[Hannathy]

I went to the parks alone with my son when he was 7 and there was no way even at 7 that he wanted to come in with me or heaven forbid me go in with him! (just wrong anyway-no way a woman belongs in the mens room any more than a man in the womens room)

He was fine. we just picked a bench to wait on each other after and had no problems. 3 years later I wouldn't even think of going with him, he doesn't even like it if I have to put a towel in the bathroom when he is in the shower with the curtain closed. a 10 yr old should be beginning to really want privacy from his Mom or Grandma!

 

[MissRoseDarrensAngel]

In most situations, he is with someone like his dad or grandfather who accompany will him to the men's room in a public setting.

In smaller places and if there is no male with him, and its someone like me or his mother, I'll wait outside of the door to allow him to do his business like movie theatres or Mcdonalds.

Hopefully my mother will understand... and what really irks me, is that she has pounded into his head that grandma will drag him into the ladies' room while at WDW, and he acts like all is ok with that. He is fairly responsible for a kid his age and I am sure he has been taught how to behave etc in a public bathroom by now...

What does he normally do in this kind of situation?
I can't imagine that he would be O.K. with this. While there are of course exceptions to every rule (child with special needs etc...) the vast majority of kids this age do not need an adult w/ them in the rest room. I frequently travel with just DS10 and DD6 so I understand your mother's fear. Since there are 2 adults, one of you can stand outside the men's room waiting for him to come out as PP mentioned, while someone is in the ladies' room with DD and then you can switch. Takes a little longer that way of course, but safety is always the top priority.

 

[spare+a_pair]

Sorry, but I'm in the minority here. I havea 9 1/2 year old who still comes into the Ladies room with me. There is NO WAY I am letting him go in by himself yet at a public place that I can not monitor. Molestation can happen very quickly. We have heard of several cases - in our area - of young boys (7-11) going into restrooms and being "touched" by older males. Sorry, that's not a chance I'm willing to take.

My son isn't embarrased. I have explained to him that it is for his safety. No one else should feel uncomfortable either. Everything that you are doing in there is behind a closed door. It's not like you are standing at a urinal in a mens room with everything hanging out. He does not bend down and look under the walls, he just takes care of his buisiness and we leave.

 

[LWatson]

Unfortunately Disney does not have family restrooms. They have companion restrooms which are for people who need assistance using the facilities.

I think that a 10 yr old boy is too old to be going into a womens restroom. Hopefully you can talk some sense into your mom.

There are family restrooms at Disney. We used them when we were there last time (If I remember right there is one right by Splash Mountain). They have the Adult and child pics on them, and we werent the only family using them. They have changing tables and if I remember right child size toilets in them.

 

[CLR4321]

I think that is embarrassing for a kid that old to be going into the ladies room, not only that, it can be embarrassing for girls and ladies who are in the bathroom with him. I think that idea should be dropped. There are 2 other options. Have him go to the rest room alone in the men's and talk to him about what to do...to just hurry in, do his business and get out (washing his hands first of course). Also, there are companion rest rooms at WDW. They are all over, normally anywhere there is a standard rest room you will find the companion ones. These are intended for people with wheel chairs who may have someone who comes in with them to help them. Anyone can use them, and they are helpful in cases like yours. They are just single bathrooms. You could wait outside for him if him using the men's room doesn't work for you.

 

[princessmom29]

He needs to use the restroom by himself as do all normal 10 year olds. They need their privacy just as much as and adult and if they have been taught not to let strangers near them they will be fine. At disney I have never been in a restroom with less than 10 people in it at a time. If someone approaches him all he has to do is speak up. I think it is completely ridiculous to think he cannot go into a bathroom by himself. My 5 year old DD gets her own stall in the restroom, and DH is confident sending her in by herself at walmart, target ect. She knows to go in, do her business and come out.

 

[abcboys]

My oldest is 10 and no way would he be caught dead in the ladies room!! How embarrasing...my middle is 7 and he can come in with me if he wants or he can go to the mens room with big brother...it's really his call. I think 10 is too old to go to the ladies room....but I am not a scared and paranoid mother.

 

[stella27]

Sorry, but I'm in the minority here. I havea 9 1/2 year old who still comes into the Ladies room with me. There is NO WAY I am letting him go in by himself yet at a public place that I can not monitor. Molestation can happen very quickly. We have heard of several cases - in our area - of young boys (7-11) going into restrooms and being "touched" by older males. Sorry, that's not a chance I'm willing to take.

My son isn't embarrased. I have explained to him that it is for his safety. No one else should feel uncomfortable either. Everything that you are doing in there is behind a closed door. It's not like you are standing at a urinal in a mens room with everything hanging out. He does not bend down and look under the walls, he just takes care of his buisiness and we leave.

I would feel uncomfortable if you brought your 9 yo into a ladies' restroom. I know that you are concerned with his safety, but I think it's rude to do to other ladies. Molestation can happen quickly, but by age 9 your son should know how to watch out for that and how to alert someone for help - or how to stand up for himself in a public restroom. I *know* that there are creeps everywhere, but in a crowded restroom, a pervert wouldn't have much of a chance to molest your son with a whole bunch of ther men around.

And to the OP: I cringe at the thought and hope that your nephew's mom will stand up for her son and his dignity.

 

[abcboys]

I would feel uncomfortable if you brought your 9 yo into a ladies' restroom. I know that you are concerned with his safety, but I think it's rude to do to other ladies. Molestation can happen quickly, but by age 9 your son should know how to watch out for that and how to alert someone for help - or how to stand up for himself in a public restroom. I *know* that there are creeps everywhere, but in a crowded restroom, a pervert wouldn't have much of a chance to molest your son with a whole bunch of ther men around.

And to the OP: I cringe at the thought and hope that your nephew's mom will stand up for her son and his dignity.

I agree. Busier restrooms with lots of dads coming and going are not going to stand by while your child gets molested Teach your childrens what is and is not appropriate for the bathroom and what to do if something odd happens. I have 3 boys and have NEVER had anything remotely strange go on.

 

[vgrandy]

My son is 10 and has refused to go into the women's restroom since he was 8 or 9. We used the companion restrooms around WDW with no problem.

 

[3boymthr]

Yep, My DSs don't want to use the ladies room, even the 7 yo. The oldest definitely always goes to the men's room by himself. No way would he or I feel comfortable with him in a ladies room. All my DSs got to the men's room, unless we are in a bad location like a rest area and I only have one of them with me. Usually if the location is bad then I'll find a family rest room.

WDW definitely has family restrooms - The men's room at Pinnochios VH was closed for repairs when were there and all the men had to use that.