How old is to old for baby??

[magic kingdom park]

I don't know why but I think that I now want another baby, I have one who is 9, we thought and he may still be autistic, just not alot of the tendencies there and have gotten so much better as he has gotten older, however there is still something there that you know that he is just not like a normal kid, however I would not trade him for anything, this is one reason we did not have another child, but know I am feeling as if we may just want another, I am 36 and my husband will be 43 in Nov., the main thing I worry about is something being wrong with the baby, anyone got any advice I am open for opinons..

 

[*Belle*]

I would follow your heart. I had my DS at 41 and there is 8 yrs between the 2 boys. He's wonderful, healthy and the joy of our lives. (not to mention my little Disney buddy)

 

[tlmdisney]

While this is a decision that only you and your husband can make one thing to consider is that they are now finding a correleation between the age of the father and Autism in children. so it is not just the risk factors of your age but also your husbands. That being said many older couples have happy and healthy children so good luck on your decission

 

[highsmith]

My mom was 38 when she had my youngest sister. I was 16 at the time and I have a 12 year old sister too. My now 18 year old sister is perfect and has no issues. Her dad was 39 at the time. I think you just need to see if it works for YOUR family. My neighbor just had her first. She is 35, husband is 45.

 

[DisneyMomx7]

I was 42 when I had my last so I don't think its too late for you. BTW one of my older sons has Asperger's syndrome - which is on the autism spectrum but a "much milder" case. Has your son been checked for Asperger's?

 

[VirtuallyMe]

I was 42 when I had my last so I don't think its too late for you. BTW one of my older sons has Asperger's syndrome - which is on the autism spectrum but a "much milder" case. Has your son been checked for Asperger's?

My oldest also has Asperger's and I had him when I was 20... at 24 I had a daughter... at 29 another dd... and 36 had my youngest a ds....

The only one with any autistic spectrum tendancies is the oldest-

Many women are having children as they get older- so it probably won't even register with your child- because you are just as likely to be the same age as the other parents

And Autism- is a tricky thing- it doesn't really follow the same genetic patterns other disorders follow- and so isn't easy to predict. I know families where every child they had some form of autism or autistic tendancies and I know families where the autistic child was first, middle or last child- there is really no rhyme or reason.

Follow your heart- and have another if that is what you want and if you are financially able to- but do remember that as you get older it does get less likely that the woman will get pregnant as our eggs seem to have an expiration date

 

[MommyBoo!]

I have three kids - 11, 9 and 2. DH keeps waivering about having a fourth. I told him he has until I am 40 (we are both 38) and then that door closes and the door to the doctor (for him) opens. My midwife had her last one at 41.

I will say that this last pregnancy and birth was harder on me. I attribute that to 2 things - 1. I was out of shape. I am in better shape now and that should not be an issue, although the birth problem might be so I may end up with a Csection (that's a whole other thread). 2. She was bigger than the other two, only by a pound but I am a small person so it made a difference. My pediatrician told me that if I have another one, that baby will be even bigger.

We were both 36 when she was born and she was perfect in every way (although that halo is slipping a little now at 2 years ).

Good luck with your decision. Two friends of ours (each with 5 kids) always tell us, "You'll know when you are done."

 

[ilovejack02]

Go for it! My dad was 48 when he had me I LOVE being his baby, he still thinks of me as his baby, he is almost 81 and kicking. Loves to travel and just retired last yr. He and mom went to Costa Rica in Feb. and are planning for Greece soon. He says i kept him young! 36 is not that old for having a baby, yes there will be a few more tests involved but what you get in the end is wonderful. Go talk to your Dr. about what you can do before hand to prepare your body to have the healthiest baby possible.

 

[tacomaranch]

Do I dare? I had my last child at 45! Yikes! It was not an oooppps it was a OH MY GOD! My tubes had been tied and there was no way I was ready for a child. I snowboarded the entire 2nd and 3rd trimester and had the hardest and longest labor of the three. It was also the only one in the hospital, the others were all born at home.

So, search your heart, pray to God and you will know what is right for you. We can all tell you what we would do, but my dear, the decision if for you alone.

Wishing you the best, April

 

[maddi]

I'm a member of this club.

My eldest is 26 and my youngest will be turning Six while we are at Disney in a few short days.

It's kinda a family tradition, though none of us planned it. My Grandmother had her youngest when I was little( my uncle is 1.5 years younger than me).

My Parents became pregnant when I had my Daughter (my brother is 7 months younger than my daughter.

I had my youngest a few short months before my grandson was born (there's three months between them).

REGRETS? Not a one.
WHAT'S IT LIKE BEING A NEW MOM AGAIn AFTER 40? More relaxed,
enjoying so much more and yes, at times wore out more.
WOULD I CHANGE ANYTHING? Yes, I'd like to have another one, but DH says
no way...lol.
HOW WAS THE PREGANCY? It was the simpliest ever! No morning sickness, no labor pains, a breeze. The Dr. did a couple of extra test but other than that it was a normal healthy pregancy

Best advice, go with your heart, you know your lifestyle(yes it does change some...I forgot about lugging all the baby gear), how your family is, and whatever your decision is, you know it is the right one for you.

And if you do decide to have another baby, I hope She/He brings you as much pleasure as our has brought into our family.

PS If anyone has a suggestion on how to get Dh to change his mind, I'm all ears...lol

 

[DaisyD]

I had my last at 38. She was most wanted and tried for for years! We wanted our kids to be 6 years apart but it didn't work that way. My kids are now 23, 18, and 7. I have never regretted having a third child later in life but would have regretted not doing it. I say if you want on to go for it as time is ticking away!

 

[allysmom1218]

I have a 22 yr old DS, a 20 yr old DD and a DD who is 2. I said when I remarried in 1999 that the baby factory was closed, but after seeing my DH around my neice and nephew, I started thing about having a baby more and more. I was 39 when I had my DD and my DH was 26. I really thought it would take a few months for me to get pregnant, but boy was I wrong. I got pregnant after trying for 1 month. I wanted to try to have the baby before I turned 40 because of the added risk. I turned 39 and then the next month I had my DD. I really do enjoy having a baby around the house again and my older kids really love her. My DS moved out of the house about a year after I had my DD (he moved about an hour and a half away) but he comes home to visit about once a month because he misses his Lil' Sis. I never thought he would get so attatched to her.

I know this is a decision that only you and your DH came make, I advise that you think really hard about it, and if it's meant to be, than it will happen. I never thought I'd get pregnant so fast, but it was meant to be. You know that old saying "God works in mysterious ways". GOOD LUCK!!!!

 

[WantToGoNow]

I was 18 when I had my first child and 39 when I had my last. My children are 22, 5 and 2 now (we also had 2 losses - one before ds5 and one between him and dd2). After the last, I decided that I was finished having children because of my age -- the last one was hard - I was exhausted all the time. After I had my tubes tied on my older dd's 21st birthday, I started regretting the decision. If I had to do over, I probably would have one more.

 

[mom2my3kids]

You know I always wanted kids young, I was 20 when I had my daughter, I was 24 when I had my middle son. Then I got a surprise gift from heaven and I was 30 when I delivered him. I used to always say I would not have babies in my 30's but I take that back. I think I have more patience with my youngest and if it weren't for money I would have another and I am 33 now and the fact I had a tubal. So I say follow your heart and if you want another baby I would go for it.

 

[Bugsmom73]

I would say go for it. We are in a similar boat with DS, he may be on the autism spectrum.

 

[fakereadhed]

I had DS at your age and DH and I have both noticed we are much better parents this time around. Much more relaxed and we're having so much fun cherishing the little things we've missed not having a little one around.

There are no guarantees on the health of any child you have, no matter what your age. My oldest DD(born in my mid-twenties) is neurotypical, but has Juveline Rheumatoid Arthritis(in remission now at 13). My younger DD(18 mo. younger) has NLD/Aspergers. I do have to say that I wish for everyone who has a more challenging kid to have a typical one to help you see that it is not you. Everyone could use a little of that!

Autistic kids don't do well with change, and pregnancy/new baby is a biggie. DD didn't want him, didn't want to bring him home-actually wished him dead, but now thinks he's great. We just let her vent her feelings and gave her reassurance without judging what she was feeling. It was hard to hear her talk that way without reacting to it, but it turned out fine. She just did not see one thing that he could add to her life and believe me it is ALL about her. Now he makes her laugh on a daily basis and that's all it takes to make it worth it for her.

Best of luck with whatever you decide.

 

[belle&beast]

I think that only you and your husband can decide what is best for your family, but if you are wondering about it, then you probably will not feel complete without another child. I know I am done and it feels right, if it doesn't for you, then maybe you aren't done...

I am going to come at this from a different perspective, no flames, just offering a personal story. I have a friend that is an only child and she is very lonely as an adult. Her father has passed away and her mother has MS, it has affected her memory which is really hard on her. I also am a speech pathologist in the public school system and have found lots of parents of children with special needs have more children than they initially planned because they want to be sure their child with special needs will have a large number of family members on whom he/she can rely.

 

[robinb]

I am 36 and my husband will be 43 in Nov., the main thing I worry about is something being wrong with the baby, anyone got any advice I am open for opinons..

I was 38 when I had my one-and-only, so I don't think 36 is too old at all! I had a Chorionic villus sampling (CVS) at about 10 weeks to test for a hundreds of genetic disorders and chromosomal abnormalities. And yes, I would have terminated the pregnancy if the test detected anything serious.

 

[mom_of_5]

I don't know why but I think that I now want another baby, I have one who is 9, we thought and he may still be autistic, just not alot of the tendencies there and have gotten so much better as he has gotten older, however there is still something there that you know that he is just not like a normal kid, however I would not trade him for anything, this is one reason we did not have another child, but know I am feeling as if we may just want another, I am 36 and my husband will be 43 in Nov., the main thing I worry about is something being wrong with the baby, anyone got any advice I am open for opinons..

I just wanted to tell you that you are not too old for kids as long as you are healthy, the doctors will try to scare you with genetic couseling but if you are over 35 I think it is they consider you higher risk. I have 5 kids myself I was pregnant and nursing for 10 years (27-37). DH was 33-43. The last one they "counseled" us and gave us all the statistics but I was not worried.
I do also have a child that has autism, the oldest. I had a normal pregnancy and delivery and he developed fine untill 2 then he just shut down. He is considered High Functioning/Asperger's Syndrome and him as well as DH and I have worked very hard over the last 9 years to get his behaviors under control. He attends regular school in a regular classroom with minor adjustments. My other children have all been fine, some small speech problems but no autism. I have known other families that one or two of their other kids have autism but I think this is rare. Your doctor may be able to give you statistics about that.
I hope this helps you in your process.

 

[mom_of_5]

I think that only you and your husband can decide what is best for your family, but if you are wondering about it, then you probably will not feel complete without another child. I know I am done and it feels right, if it doesn't for you, then maybe you aren't done...

I am going to come at this from a different perspective, no flames, just offering a personal story. I have a friend that is an only child and she is very lonely as an adult. Her father has passed away and her mother has MS, it has affected her memory which is really hard on her. I also am a speech pathologist in the public school system and have found lots of parents of children with special needs have more children than they initially planned because they want to be sure their child with special needs will have a large number of family members on whom he/she can rely.

I know this may be a generalization from you, but I knew from the time I got married that I wanted about 4 kids, number 5 was the biggest suprise. It never even entered my mind to have more kids to help support my child with autism, nor did I think I could "make the mistake better". I think it is a bit harsh to judge a families personal choice as to how many kids they have with or without special needs children involed. If anything having more kids has just made my life more challenging having to worry about DS's outbursts and lack of understanding while juggling the other kids. But that is what makes my life interesting and fullfilling.
I am not trying to attack you personally I just wanted to point out that many may not see this to be true at all.