how often do you visit the cemetery?

[suzimar57]

as a child, we'd go visit "grandma" at the cemetary every other week, it seemed (my father's mother) - by my teens, that stopped - now that all the grandparents are gone, and we've moved away, no more cemetary vigils - my parents have already said they want to be cremated

 

[TnTsParty]

I don't.

I'd avoid wakes if I could, too. I don't see the point in honoring someone's dead shell.

I don't see the wake so much as an honoring of someones dead shell but as more of a way for those who are still living to accept, adjust, whatever to the person's death. They always say the funeral and services related to that are for the people still alive and not for the one who has died. That is they way I look at it anyway. It also can be looked at as a time for family and friends to get together and honor the person's life and what they meant in life.

 

[meandmytwogirls]

I don't.

I'd avoid wakes if I could, too. I don't see the point in honoring someone's dead shell.

I agree, I see not point in visiting an empty shell.

 

[4nana]

I don't see the wake so much as an honoring of someones dead shell but as more of a way for those who are still living to accept, adjust, whatever to the person's death. They always say the funeral and services related to that are for the people still alive and not for the one who has died. That is they way I look at it anyway. It also can be looked at as a time for family and friends to get together and honor the person's life and what they meant in life.

Thank you TnTsParty, you said it oh so well . Sadly we lost my SonIL's Mom (my good friend) last month. Her wake (also known here as ~ prayers) was actually a celebration of her life, that truly touched the hearts of her family and many friends throughout her life. To each his own, but we would've have thought of missing it.

 

[freckles and boo]

I don't see the wake so much as an honoring of someones dead shell but as more of a way for those who are still living to accept, adjust, whatever to the person's death. They always say the funeral and services related to that are for the people still alive and not for the one who has died. That is they way I look at it anyway. It also can be looked at as a time for family and friends to get together and honor the person's life and what they meant in life.

Absolutely. I don't even believe in God or an afterlife, but I do think that death rituals are very important no matter what your belief system. I feel that we are "alive" as long as we are remembered. For some people grieving and remembrance includes the funeral, the viewing, the visits to the cemetery, etc. We go to the graves because it brings comfort to my husband but I also get an emotional kick in the butt when I think about how most humans lovingly say good-bye. I personally want to be cremated but I would love a little plaque of some sort somewhere to say "I was here!".

 

[auntie]

I quite agree...Some wakes are terribly sad..especially when it's unexpected or someone especially young. Some are actually almost festive and celebration of someone's life. It really all depends on the circumstances involved. In any case...while attending isn't always pleasant..it is a way to provide comfort and show support for those friends and loved ones that are living.

 

[jacos11]

Yes you may not go to the cemetery but your future relatives can come and pay their respect and find out things about the loved one they may or may not know.

My father died when I was 19 and for about the next 10 years I would go to the cemetery about once a month. I live about an hour away from where he is buried and I only make it there once a year now. I use it as place to help me explain to my son why I have a daddy but he cannot see him except in pictures.

 

[agnes!]

I like to think that when I'm gone someone will remember me so I try to remember those who have come before me.

Sometimes I'll visit a cemetery, sometimes I'll do research on my ancestors' lives (including researching those I knew well when they were alive like my dad or my mother's father), but I try to remember them. For instance on every Memorial Day I go to a nearby National Cemetery and read some of the names from the markers aloud. By doing do I feel that I honor their sacrifice and am remembering that those who died during the Civil War or WWII or whenever were *people* not just casualty counts.

My mother likes to visit family graves so I often go with her. We recently paid to have some family grave-sites shored up and restored. The one in the worst shape was not even from her side of the family. It's the family headstone for my paternal great grandparents and my great-aunt & her husband.

My dad's grave-site is really far away. I've only been to see it once since the funeral.

agnes!

 

[Morganpics]

I find a lot of comfort visiting my parents and grandparents graves. The cemetery is a very beautiful, peaceful place. American flags and fire department flags on many graves. I seem to be the "chosen" family member to put flowers out in the spring and wreaths on for the winter. I live 2 hours away and stop there whenever I go through. For me, it is a matter of respect for all those who have died.

I have other family members who never go to the cemetery and that is fine with me.