How much to give for nephew's wedding gift?

[leahjade]

This is our first in the family getting married - some info, don't see him very often - a couple times a year and we are average middle class folks! I just have no idea what the going rate is nowadays! I bought two shower gifts already and we were not able to attend the wedding.

 

[ruadisneyfan2]

This varies depending on what part of the country you're from. There have been very heated debates on here in the past just to warn you. Also cash vs. a gift item is a hot topic too. Many have very strong opinions on this.

I would give what you can comfortably afford and think if it were your child getting married, would your feelings be hurt if that's what your child received.

I truly believe it's the thought that counts and don't try to impress. jmho.

 

[powellrj]

It really depends on the area you live in. My DS got married last month and I think the average family gift was in the $75 range which is pretty common around here. I read in other threads where people give several hundred dollars to co-workers kids. I know most of the non-family gifts were in the $25-$50 range. It was just a normal church wedding with a reception at a community center. It wasn't a huge formal affair.

 

[tinkntraining]

I agree with the other posters -- you are going to get a wide variety of answers. I personally give my nephews/nieces $50 each plus a shower gift -- I have 22 total, so that's what I figured I can afford. I know it shouldn't matter -- but two of the most recent ones are already separated -- after 3 months of marriage!

 

[Kathi OD]

You really should be thinking about what your budget will allow and how many nephews/neices will be getting married in the future, as what you give to one, you pretty much have to give to the others. IMO, just because you don't see him often doesn't mean that he should get less of a gift than the ones you do see on a more regular basis.

None of my nephews or neices have gotten married yet, but when they do, I am sure that we will be giving somewhere in the $200 range. Our godchildren will get just a bit more, but that's a family tradition so the others will not be offended or hurt.

 

[Benducci]

I think it depends upon which part of the country you are hailing from - we just went to a cousin's wedding & gave them $200 & I also spent about $50 on a shower gift.
Give what you are comfortable with

 

[mskayjay]

It all depends on the relationship with that particular nephew, family dynamics, etc. My niece is getting married in October. Her combined shower/wedding gift will be a Kitchen Aid as it is something they really want and will appreciate for a long time. I figure by the time I buy a nice shower gift, wrapping, card, wedding gift, wrapping, card, the heck with it! One big gift!

Now when my brother's kids get married whom I barely know and have never ever even thanked us for any birthday or Christmas gifts in the last 10 years, forget it. They'll get a check for probably $100. That is going rate in our family for big events like this. Everyone is different.

 

[kelleigh1]

My husband's niece is getting married in September. (Yes, technically now that I'm married to him, she's my niece too, but she was 18 when I married him so it's hard for me to get used to.) I've spent about $100 on a shower gift and plan on giving $100 as a wedding gift. I think that's reasonable for us.

Honestly, she is the first to be getting married, but she's also the one who treats us the best. Her father is my husband's half-brother, and they didn't exactly grow up together. And we live in MA and they are in NJ, so we're not close. But when we're with them, we are treated very well. Hubby's other half-siblings only treat us well when they want something and some of their kids, I won't be doing anything for. The niece who is getting married made a point of telling my MIL that she really wanted hubby and I at her graduation party - so we made sure we went. And before the date was even set, she made sure to tell me that she really hoped we could get there for the wedding. So we do what we can.

Now my niece and nephew, to be honest, I'll probably do even more for them. But I lived with them when they were babies and I've had a hand in raising them. We are extremely close. I'm also my niece's godmother. And I forget what it's called, but my sister and BIL have made me financially responsible for the kids if something were to happen to them. As BIL is really their step-dad, obviously biological dad would get physical custody, but I would control their college funds, etc.

 

[leahjade]

Thanks for the replies - this is our first and oldest in either of our families so I had no idea what to give since my own kids are younger. I have no experience on what people give any more since the last wedding our family was over 20 years ago! My only recent weddings I have attended are just acquaintances and I don't want to be cheap.

 

[Disneychix]

In my parts of the world (Western NY) depending on lifestyle I think average would be about $150 for a family member's wedding. How many people are going to the wedding? Just you and DH or are there kids?

 

[leahjade]

we can't attend the wedding so I'm sending a check. And we live in rural Pennsylvania if that helps.

 

[shortbun]

We have a really small family. I have one neice and two nephews. We give them all birthday and Christmas presents as well as sometimes contribute to activities they are having. We gave our neice $100 and a full suite of good towels to take to college for a HS graduation gift this year. Again-she's our only neice. Next year, I intend to to the same thing for my nephew as he is headed off to college. My neice applied the cash we gave her to the purchase of her new laptop for school. I knew she wouldn't spend it on pizza and beer, lol! I guess it depends on your ability to give, how many children in the family and what the needs of the children are. The other factor would be the relationship with the neice or nephew. Non family members are treated differently. I gave the girl across the street $50 when she graduated. She had been our babysitter for years and we had attended all her plays and concerts so we knew her well. Wedding gifts are a weird issue but I'll be living up to the graduation gift precedent with my neice and nephews.

 

[wall*e2008]

We give nieces, nephews and close friend's children all the same gift. For high school, college or graduate graduation (with or without a party) $100. For the bridal shower a gift in the $100 range. For the wedding a check for $300.

 

[Shelly F - Ohio]

My nephew is getting married in Feb. He makes good money so I thought instead of giving him money I want to send a gift basket to the hotel he will be staying at during his honeymoon. Like a gift basket with munches, small bottle of wine and 2 glasses, things of that nature.

 

[Kitzka]

We are going to My cousin in law (actaully it's DH's cousin's eldest daughter) wedding in 2 weeks. We will be driving to pittsburgh (6 hours from us in NJ) staying 2 nigths in a hotel and providing a gift. These cousins were at my wedding and are close to my husband's parents and sister (but not my DH personally). We wil prob give $150 in a giftcard and maybe an item off the registry as we were not invited to the shower.

Lara

 

[momtoBrandon&Jacob]

I always thought the norm was $100-$150 per person attending the wedding. Weddings are so expensive nowadays it's nice to give a little back to the bride and groom.

 

[Justish]

Do they have a registry?

(I know I know... controversy on registry...)

But you may want to ask if they have specific needs for their newly wed home! Appliances and stuff are OH SO IMPORTANT and a good blender or a breadmaker or something equally as useful can be CHEAPER but worth more to the bride and groom than actual cash.

I know when I get married I'll prefer stuff to cash as most of the time the people buying the stuff for me will be much more skilled in shopping for appliances than I am and will know what last the longest and what is the best value!

Just a thought...

~Ally

 

[Crystal824]

I live in PA. We got married last year. The average gift was about $150.00 per couple from family. Of course, we got a couple of $200.00 and $250.00 gifts as well. From nonfamily members, the average gift was about $75.00 per couple.

 

[kelleigh1]

This thread made me think of something that some of you might find interesting.

My parents didn't give us anything for our wedding. (We paid for our own wedding in Jamaica and my inlaws paid for a reception after we got back.) And they never gave me anything for my high school graduation either. My birthday is Saturday - think I'll get anything for that.

 

[VAN]

I come from humble beginnings ... and from a large family. Hence I have 45 nieces/nephews.

I've just upped the HS Graduation gift to $30 and the wedding gift to $50 cash. Shower gift $20.

My godchildren get double.

It doesn't sound like much, but I'm a big believer in what you do for one you do for all. Stay within your budget too. If you can't do as much as you'd like, volunteer to help decorate the hall, help with something, etc.

I'm a big believer in cash for a wedding gift ... I know when we got married I had been on my own for several years. What I needed were the big ticket items (washer/dryer, LR furniture, etc) ... the money was great so I could pool it and purchase some of the bigger ticket items.