How much to give for a wedding gift for family of 5 attending

[krcit]

Wedding gifts are a regional thing. I'm on LI, NY and would not give less than $300 for a wedding. I would give that for a backyard wedding or a fancy catering hall so it's not about 'covering your plate'. It's just what is standard around here. I got married 17 years ago and the average gift was $150, quite a few couples gave $200. I usually decline weddings unless they are for close family or friends because frankly I can't afford to go to them all and if I don't even know the bride or groom, I'm not going, lol. DH has a large family and sometimes we get invited to 2cnd cousins weddings who we have nevrr met or met once.

OP, I would try to find out what an average gift is in your area and give accordingly. I agree with a pp that if this is an employee, you will be setting a precedent.

 

[AustinTink]

sorry but I would not give that much to a friend for their wedding. We have given my siblings $200 for their weddings plus helped out where we could. Most likely it would be closer to $100 for friends, I don't believe in "covering your plate". If they cannot afford such a big wedding, don't have one.

This is the sentiment where I come from. It's actually considered rude to give money. Almost like calling they bride and groom poor.

 

[golfgal]

At least $300 (and I'd up it if it was held here, but it's Orlando, not NYC). And for those who think $100 is high, I imagine it's hard to find a venue that inexpensive now.

Maybe in your area but around here you can find a very nice hall for $400-500 plus the cost of catering, which runs in the $15-25/plate range. Also, around here NO ONE considers their gift an admission ticket and a typical gift size for an friend is $25-50, maybe up to $100 for a CLOSE friend or family member.

 

[mjkacmom]

Maybe in your area but around here you can find a very nice hall for $400-500 plus the cost of catering, which runs in the $15-25/plate range. Also, around here NO ONE considers their gift an admission ticket and a typical gift size for an friend is $25-50, maybe up to $100 for a CLOSE friend or family member.

Yes, in my area, and I really don't know what they give in Orlando. I do understand things are cheaper in the midwest - I know there areas out there where you can purchase a free-standing home for under $300,000. I've just never seen one here.

 

[Queen2PrincessG]

$500 min unless it's a destination wedding I would give $400. Your adult children can contribute too.

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

Wow, I thought $50 was generous when we got married just over 9 years ago. That is about what we normally give. Our reception was mostly free, because a friend made and served all the food, including both cakes.

My fil and step mil gave us $400 and I was in shock that they gave us this much. Mil and step fil gave us a bride and groom beanie baby set and some silver candle sticks from a garage sale. Most of his family gave $25 to $50 and we were thrilled

Suzanne

 

[elgerber]

Maybe in your area but around here you can find a very nice hall for $400-500 plus the cost of catering, which runs in the $15-25/plate range. Also, around here NO ONE considers their gift an admission ticket and a typical gift size for an friend is $25-50, maybe up to $100 for a CLOSE friend or family member.

Wow, glad to hear you say this! I was starting to think I was just REALLY cheap!

 

[golfgal]

Wow, glad to hear you say this! I was starting to think I was just REALLY cheap!

I am also thinking of inviting all of these $500+ gifters to my kids' weddings sometime in the future

 

[indimom]

These threads are always amazing to this little midwest girl.
I would consider $100 a fantastic wedding gift. I'd say $50 is typical around here.

OP, I think what you normally give sounds like a nice amount. Since the bride is from your area, I'd stick with what is typical for your area.

Oh, and since it came up. My house was less than a 1/3 of the price quoted earlier. I love watching that "What you get for the money" show. Amazing how different it is from one end of the country to the other!

 

[luvsJack]

Seems to me it would be easier just to buy something. I really wonder how many brides and grooms spend their honeymoon think, "she really should have given more, there were 5 people in their party!" I sincerely hope not many!

Anyway, $500 for a friends wedding seems very extravagant!

The whole "cover your plate" thing just doesn't make a bit of sense to me.

Since she is an employee, I would say $100-$200 max.

Like someone else said, you have to remember when another employee gets married she will be likely to expect the same amount you give this one.

 

[elgerber]

I am also thinking of inviting all of these $500+ gifters to my kids' weddings sometime in the future

No kidding!! 30 guests and they can buy a car!

 

[whgrn]

It definitely is a regional thing--in the Northeast you'd give more than in the Midwest or the South. But $500 seems extreme. I agree with the pps who said your kids should do their own gifts. They could all go in together, but certainly they wouldn't be expected to give as much as you and your DH (unless they are very well paid already in their jobs!)

As far as being rude to give money for a wedding--I always believed that too. When I got married 16 years ago, I was shocked at all the people in my husband's family who gave money. NO ONE in my family did. Now, everyone just about gives cash. I'd much rather do that than give something that is unwanted. And bridal registries often don't help because the prices of the things on the list may be more than I want to spend (like $150/place setting for china).

 

[Miz Diz]

I'm getting married and all of you $150-$500 gift givers are invited.

 

[Swank]

It is simple.. don't write the check till after you see the reception. Leave the envelope open and then give what you may seem appropriate according to the food, decor ect.



I actually know somebody who does this.

 

[golfgal]

It is simple.. don't write the check till after you see the reception. Leave the envelope open and then give what you may seem appropriate according to the food, decor ect.



I actually know somebody who does this.

 

[jrmasm]

It is simple.. don't write the check till after you see the reception. Leave the envelope open and then give what you may seem appropriate according to the food, decor ect.



I actually know somebody who does this.

I've considered taking my gift back at weddings with cash bars.

 

[bellebud]

I am also just amazed at how much people give for wedding presents. Around here a very generous gift would be $100, maybe $200. Also, your gift isn't your admission fee to the wedding. I don't know of ANYONE that looks at it that way. It is just such an odd concept-something I had never heard of until DIS.

I agree that your DD should provide their own gifts.

I've always 'known' it to be this way. I live an hour outside of NYC, and it's been the norm here from when I got married (19 years ago), that you cover your plate at least. I've never heard of anyone NOT knowing that.

If I were OP, without hesitation I'd give $500 for 5 adults. Being the person's boss, I actually think it would look lovely (and almost appropriate) for you to give more than others might give. Not like you're trying to look like a big shot. But, if you're afraid of it coming off that way, simply divide the $500 into envelopes... $200 from you and dh, and each adult kid gets the couple their own card w/ $100 in each one.

(I have employees btw, and we'd definitely give 'more' than the expected gift if invited to one of their weddings).

 

[babyrich]

I love these boards cause it really goes to show how different things are depending on where you are. I live in Northeast NJ, right near Manhattan. I usually average $150-$200/person, so if my DH and I went to a wedding we would give $300-400. This is just normal here, expensive, yes, but normal.

We got married 5 years ago, we had a small wedding with family and close friends and my friends averaged about $350/couple. Some family members didnt give anything cause they couldnt afford to. Heck, my in laws gave us several thousand dollars. Ok, my DH is an only child, so its not like they have other kids waiting for the same amount.

 

[Pikester]

Found an interesting site.

Not sure how much cash to give for a wedding gift? Here is a Monetary Gift Calculator:

http://www.theweddingenvelope.com/calculator.php

 

[snapppyd]

I've always 'known' it to be this way. I live an hour outside of NYC, and it's been the norm here from when I got married (19 years ago), that you cover your plate at least. I've never heard of anyone NOT knowing that.

If I were OP, without hesitation I'd give $500 for 5 adults. Being the person's boss, I actually think it would look lovely (and almost appropriate) for you to give more than others might give. Not like you're trying to look like a big shot. But, if you're afraid of it coming off that way, simply divide the $500 into envelopes... $200 from you and dh, and each adult kid gets the couple their own card w/ $100 in each one.

(I have employees btw, and we'd definitely give 'more' than the expected gift if invited to one of their weddings).

I love these boards cause it really goes to show how different things are depending on where you are. I live in Northeast NJ, right near Manhattan. I usually average $150-$200/person, so if my DH and I went to a wedding we would give $300-400. This is just normal here, expensive, yes, but normal.

We got married 5 years ago, we had a small wedding with family and close friends and my friends averaged about $350/couple. Some family members didnt give anything cause they couldnt afford to. Heck, my in laws gave us several thousand dollars. Ok, my DH is an only child, so its not like they have other kids waiting for the same amount.

I'm from New York and we have always given money, and always "covered our plate". Wedding showers are for toasters, weddings are cash gifts.