How much longer does this have to go on for Maddy???

[Stepharoonie!]

I'm asking because I am BEYOND $%^&*(# angry with my ex. I picked my daughter up this evening, and to start off, she's got a red (turning black/blue) bump underneath her left eye. I asked her how she got it, she won't tell me. She gets very "squirmy" and changes the subject. She flat out refused to hug or kiss him goodbye tonight. I had to walk her over and ask her several times to at least hug him. She finally did, dragging her feet, finger in her mouth, staring at the ground. He finally drove off in his BRAND NEW EXPLORER. He had a 96 Blazer 2 weeks ago that his father gave him, but he said it needed $1,000 worth of repairs. He said it bought a "used car at Carmax". Well, he made sure to hide the Explorer last week by parking behind the building, and tried to this week by parking behind a semi truck. He keeps saying he has no money, but he just got a BRAND NEW apartment (in a new complex), a BRAND NEW car, supports his unemployed girlfriend, and who else knows what he does??

She spent the evening VERY happy, playing with my bf and I. She was very clingy to us, but also very loving. She kept asking me not to leave her. She told us several times that she didn't want to go back to her daddy, and that she wants to stay with her mommy. She started to cry in the car and beg me to "always stay with Madison". It broke my heart to hear her like that.

When I was getting her ready for bed, I took off her shirt and gasped, scaring my bf. I turned her around to show him, and she was horribly sunburned on her back. It's a bright, almost wagon red.

It took me a moment to realize that she had gone to a "pool party" with her father on SUNDAY. Can you imagine how awful this must have been for her the rest of the week, with it still being THIS red?! She was very picky about her back the entire evening, and I never though to lift up her shirt and look at it. Poor baby, there is NO WAY she had any sunscreen on her back at all.

I took pictures of everything to add to my stack of others for the case. His lawyer wants to ask for "joint custody". BULL. I'm going for full custody, no ifs, ands, or buts. Nobody deserves to have a wonderful child like this if they're not willing to love and take care of her.

UGH! UGH! UGH!!!!!! I just want this OVER with and have Madison with me where she belongs. My heart continues to break for her, it's just not fair.

Sorry for the long post...just REALLY needed to vent

 

[olena]

Poor Maddy! I'm sorry you have to endure all this, Steph. I especially feel for Maddy.

I hope the full custody goes your way. She shouldn't be subjected to such disregard.

 

[Snow_White]

Oh my...poor Maddy Here is a very gentle hug for you and your sweet little girl

Jennifer

 

[Pop Daddy]

sometimes kids get sunburned even if parents are good. Dont let her hear you talk about him, she will play both of you

 

[LScot]

Stephanie,
This is just heartbreaking. I feel so badly for you and for Madison. I will be praying for you both. I hope something happens quickly. I cannot believe he let that baby burn like that. I can't believe he didn't warn you about it. This is very upsetting to me. I can't imagine how you, as her mom, must feel.

 

[antbritt]

Stepharoonie

I am so sorry for your Daughter to have to be treated so poorly some people just do not get it when they have something so precious in thier lives!! What a shame. I hope you get full custody and maybe his visitations hould be supervised since as a grown amn he does not understand that u dont take a child ut into the sun ( IN FL No less ) without sunscreen.
Hang in there The truth will prevail!!! And he will get what he deserves!!! Unfortunate for the kids they can't pick thier parents!!
And sometimes they get ripped off ..... Lucky for Maddie at least she has 1 great parent!

 

[LScot]

PD, I agree that mddy shouldn't hear negative things about her dad but, really, it looks as if NO sunscreen was used and she was out in the sun too long (I know FL sun is hot) and if sunscreen was used, it was out of date and no good. Never take a chance on sunscreen with your babies skin. Buy new every year.

 

[Broken8ball]

No child deserves to have to suffer what maddy is going through now. I hope you get full custody and your ex has to pay through the nose. It is criminal to leave a child in that state for that many days.

I have my own kids and it broke my heart to see that picture. Not to say I have never forgot the sunscreen myself once or twice but I always took care to put lotion/aloe on their burns as soon as I realized the situation.

 

[missyc]

Listen to your daughter. Trust your instincts, but LISTEN to what she is saying when she tells you not to leave her with him. I think that is the most important thing. The sunburn is the least of my concerns.
Good luck

 

[FroggyinArk]

Steph.. you have our prayers and best wishes, when i met dw and secret, secrets father was still trying to be in picture,, she got fed up with him,, and started calling me daddy,, it took us 6 years, but she got to choose her daddy,, and i'm sure that miss maddy will make a choice like that too. kids know who loves and cares for them, and if your bf is the one,, maddy will let him know and believe me,, once they do,, you never want to let them go. secret is now officially my daughter, adoption was final last year in june, and one day maddy will be able to hve the satisfaction that her father is out of her life and her daddy has taken over. Rememer any man can be a father, but it takes some one really special to be dad. give maddy extra hugs from us, and you remember,, she will always be your baby. no matter what man is in her life.

 

[piglet too]

Oh the poor little girl! Her back looks so painful, but I think that is the least of her worries right now. I hope this will help them see that you should have full custody!

 

[gshoemate]

Poor Maddy, that looks terrible. You know what urks me....he didn't even mention it to you so you could take care of it, so you could make sure not to touch her back or play to hard with her. He showed no consideration for her.......how sad is that. My thoughts will be with you and I hope you get full custody.

 

[themepark]

I am so sorry you and Maddy are going through this. You are in my thoughts and prayers. I can't stand to see a child hurt. I agree with missyc...Listen to Maddy. She sounds so scared. Sometimes kids don't know what to say or maybe are too scared to say it, but their actions speak volumes. Maddy is precious. Thank goodness she has a wonderful mommy.

 

[Stepharoonie!]

Originally posted by Pop Daddy
sometimes kids get sunburned even if parents are good. Dont let her hear you talk about him, she will play both of you

I NEVER NEVER say ANYTHING bad about her father anywhere around her. He says horrible things about me and my bf to her every single day, but I never once even say a bad thing about him to her. It's not right, and it's not fair to play a game like that with a child's mind.

Keep in mind...she went to this pool party on Sunday. That was 4 whole days ago. Can you imagine how horrible her back must have been those 4 days, especially with it STILL being this red???

He *refused* to let me speak to her the entire week, with the exception of one 30 second phone call. He always says she doesn't want to talk to me, which is a lie. He never lets her call me. He turns his cell phone off regularly so I can't get in touch with him, and he refuses to give me his new home phone number because then I'm "stalking him" (his words, not mine). He told me to ask his lawyer for his new address and phone number.

I hope to God this is over soon, because Maddy is really suffering so much through this. Over here, she gets love, attention, cuddles, everything she could ever possibly want or need. Over there, I doubt she gets 10% of that. I don't even think he fed her anything today. I asked her what she had for breakfast and lunch, and she said she didn't have anything. She ate a ton of food once she got here, and was still asking for more when I was putting her to bed.

I know it's wrong to wish bad things on people, but sometimes I really want to wish bad things on him. I cry an awful lot for my daughter

 

[kild]

What scum! People like that make me sick. I agree that this should be investigated further. THere is a reason she doesn't want to be around him and why she wouldn't hug him.
I don't wish anything on the scum, but a good **** kicking is due to that boy.

 

[Madi100]

I'm so sorry that you are having to go through this. My parents are divorced, and it was horrible. I have two good parents who weren't very good at divorce. It's so hard when you don't get to be there to see the other side of things. A person that you once loved enough to have a child with, is now you worst enemy. I love my DH very much, and I have no intentions of every being away from him. But, if we were to divorce, he'd be a hard one to deal with. Luckily, he loves our children very much, and he'd never do anything to harm them. I wish that Maddy's dad realized that his behavior (not letting her call, acting like you are bad, etc.) only is hurting her and the relationship that she will have with him.

It's a good thing you are documenting everything and taking pictures.

 

[browneyes]

Why is he playing games like this with you and with her? How is he able to play games like that?

You might want to take her to the dr to help her discomfort and for further documentation. Did she ever say what happened to her eye?

My guess is that it was cloudy on Sunday and he didn't think about sunscreen because the sun wasn't out. He had to hear her discomfort all week though. For him to ignore her discomfort was just stupid and insensitive.

I agree with Jason though. Don't let her hear you talk about him. Even if you think she's asleep.

for little Maddy.

 

[iNTeNSeBLue98]

;( I'm sorry your baby is so badly sunburned. As long as she's not blistered she should be ok. DD had a really bad burn like that a few years ago while at the P.A.L. They went to the pool for the day, she had sunscreen with her, but the heat made her feel ill and she napped on her towel without reapplying. Lesson learned.


Good luck with your custody fight Steph. Sound like it could be messy, but I it seems like you've got your fight in order.

 

[MelessaG]

This makes me sick, Steph. I know you don't know me well, but I've been reading any of your threads about your ex-DH closely because they remind me of my sister's ex-DH problems-which ultimately worked out in her favor too, so hang in there.
I can't add any better advice than what you already have received here-I just wanted you to know I was pulling for you too.
That poor baby-I'm glad you are going for full custody. (and we never bad-mouth ex-BIL in front of my nieces either)

 

[AZKathy]

I have not read the replies, so forgive me if I am repeating. Pictures won't mean a hill of beans because they will say you have put make up on your daughter and took the pictures. Take her into your pediatrician tomorrow morning to have it LEGALLY documented by her doctor. You need to have the eye injury and the back documented. Pictures will not help when it comes to severing any of his parental rights.

I know this because of one of my best friends went through this. She was helping raise her nephew's son. She took pictures of injuries the boy would come over to her home with and had a lot of evidence against the boy's father and she finally brought everything to the authorities. She took the risk of never seeing her great-nephew who she basically raised on her own to get him away from his father and it backfired on her. To make a very long story short, all the pictures were not looked at twice since she could have done that herself with makeup. She needed to take the boy in right then and there to the ED or called the authorities right then, not months later.

Anyway, get Maddy into your pediatrician to get proper documentation for this, okay?