How much leeway to give teens...?

[imomtojd]

We're lucky enough to be "living the magic" in two weeks, and a topic I haven't seen discussed much is how much freedom to give teens. DS is 15 and I know he'll want to hang out as much as possible with other teens so my questions are: do you make them eat with you at night, what kind of curfew, how much should they check-in with you...? Any other thoughts would be very welcome.

Lisa

 

[ScouterJT]

My DS15 on Wonder in April did not have a curfew. He had to meet us for dinner. He knew all the usual rules about drugs/alcohol applied. He was not to go into anyone else's stateroom or have anyone else in our stateroom.

Other than that, he was on his own. He found a couple of friends and hung out with them -- in Aloft, or going to movie, or hanging around up on deck.

He is a night owl -- stayed out until 2am (which made waking him up for his CC excursion -- Wild Side and Disembarkation a challenge -- he stayed on board Nassau Day and watched ESPN in the stateroom all morning).

 

[AAOSAM2]

When we went last our dd was 14 and we let her have run of the ship. We did require that she have dinner with us and made sure she checked in every hour or two. The only port she could get off the ship was Castaway Cay unless she was with us. She spent a lot of time playing basketball which you can see on the TV so we could at least keep an eye on her. She made friends and she still keeps in contact with them so this is a great experience for them. GOOD LUCK and Hope you have a great time.

 

[Peggy Jean]

We've done 2 cruises with our teens, first time they were 14 and 15, second time 16 and 17. We did pretty much the same as others have stated, no one in our room, they could not go in anyone elses room, and they did have to eat dinner with us. Only other restriction we put on them was use of KTTW card, since they had charging privileges. They were able to charge smoothies, snacks, etc. but we did ask them to confer with us on purchases over $10. We felt that was reasonable and they had no problems with that.

This July will be out 3rd DC and they will be DS19 and DD18. Should add a whole new dimension to the vacation.

 

[ivanova]

With our DD we required her to have dinner with us every night and to do one family activity every day (could've been an excursion or a round of Bingo).

When she was 14 we required her to be back in the room within 1/2 an hour of the teen club closing. When she was 15 1/2 we didn't set a curfew.

We also required (both times) that she leave notes in the room or voice mails on the room phone, advising us of where she was going so we always knew where she was. This was more for emergency purposes (i.e. if the ship were being evacuated, I wanted to be able to tell crew members where she was if she didn't show up at the evacuation site).

 

[disp4so]

my son was 16 when we went. The first night he stayed out late and I got worried and found him on deck just shootn the breeze with some other kids. After that I just told him he could come back when he wanted as long as he got up for the activies (excursions) we had planned.

He ate meals with us most of the time, but that was his choice. I figure its there vacation to, so let them do what they want within reason.

My son actually teared up when we left the ship, he had the time of his life.

I hope your kids do to !!

Sherri

 

[profdsny]

Agree with all the others. Our teen was allowed a late night, but had to have dinner w/us. We saw her a few times during the day. Only time she went off shp was at Castaway, and that was with the teen excursion. I'd do it again this way.

 

[Mmouse1964]

We have sailed twice before, but this will be the first time with a teenager. We are used to being paged, just so we would know where our DD was headed. I worry more about her wandering around the halls alone. I'm an overprotective mom (especially after the bad press some cruises receive)

We have the same rules as mentioned above, and I hope she clicks with some kids so they can hang out as a group. I'm still debating about giving DD10 check out privs.

We eat together as a family, no one in cabin, leave notes so we know each others plans...and just pray for the best

 

[Castillo Mom]

I too plan on having them meet us for dinner every night with the exception of the night we go to Palo. Our 18 year old will be joining us that night but my other two sons (14 and 16) will have their choice of where to dine that evening.

As for curfew, I'm not giving them one as long as they check in with me every couple of hours. They also know to make the right choices as to who it's ok to hang out with. While wer're in port they'll be with me and their aunts/uncles.

 

[imomtojd]

I want him to have a vacation of a lifetime, but I don't want to be worrying about him all the time - so I think all your suggestions are great. I do want him to eat with us most of the time, esp. the first three nights when we go in the restaurants for the first time. I will also request that he check in and let us know (phone message or note) where he is within reason.

So how do you handle bed/wake up? I'm definately going to be fast asleep by the time he comes in - and we won't be sleeping but so late with DS, 8. Did you just get ready in the morning and pull his sheet over his head? We won't be overly loud, but we do have to get ready in the morning.

As usual - all of you are awesome. This board has made our year of waiting so exciting.

Lisa Only 9 more days till be feel the Magic.

 

[PoohJen]

When DS was 12 he could sign self out of Lab if he had the CMs beep us w/ a text message of his destination. This year he'll be 13 (almost 14); we'll have beepers b/c our younger sons will be in the Lab, but I don't expect the Stack can beep me w/ his plans? I'm sure he'll be thrilled if I make him bring a radio! Maybe he can grab a house phone and periodically leave messages on our room phone?

Our rules worked great for us last time, and will be repeated this time:

- dinner and show with family every night (setting this expectation was helpful - didn't get any complaints) -I wouldn't force this rule on every family; it's just that I know otherwise I would NEVER see him!!! This is the "family time" in our "family" vacation.

- curfew was a little early (not much); if he wanted to stay out for another hour, he had to come check in with us and ask.

- no going into anyone's rooms or having anyone in our room!!!!

- there was never an expectation that he could be alone on the ship (so don't any of you put that idea in his head! }

I liked that a prior poster said "return w/in XX minutes of club closing. I think I'll try that.

I found DS really valued the "freedom" and didn't abuse it, for fear it would be yanked!

 

[Flagger]

How much freedom do you give at home? The ship shouldn't be any different, IMHO.

 

[abitjaded]

ignore

 

[abitjaded]

Anyone out there who can comment on 13yo boys? On our last cruise DS was 11 and met up with a very nice boy whose parents (whom we met on the DIS) granted him a lot of freedom, compared to what I would grant. Therefore we allowed DS sign out priviledges and the two kids seemed to have a good time together, just kicking around the ship and doing activities with the clubs when they involved computer game stuff. I'm not enamored of the idea of a 13yo doing a lot of hanging out with the high school age kids in the Stack. Not just because of the age thing, but because my DS is still pretty innocent, gets his feelings hurt easily over the "girl thing", even though he has female friends, and his circle of friends at home is pretty restricted by our rules. (We don't know the parents, no dice. At least I don't think I have to ask the question on board: "Do you keep guns in your home?") I would love to hear from families whose kids participated in the 13-14 yo activities.

Carla

 

[BTSEN5]

This July will be out 3rd DC and they will be DS19 and DD18. Should add a whole new dimension to the vacation.

What cruise will you be going on in July? We will be on the Magic July 15-22. I am worried about my 18 year old meeting people. I have not heard much about older teens on the ship.....they are considered adults, but my son just turned 18. Do they have plenty to do?

 

[nordkin]

We always gave our kids curfews and enforced them. True they are on a ship and can only go so far, but you are still with peope you do not know and they can get into trouble. We always get a stateroom aft on deck two and all three cruises we have been on I have gone out to the stairs at 2 or 3 in the morning and asked the teens to find another place to hang out as the noise they were making was keeping us awake. They always complied, but I should not have had to do this. Please remember when they are not in your stateroom, they are somewhere and could be bothering other passengers.

We always gave the kids an hour or so more than they had at home and they appreciated it, but no curfew, no way. If you were at WDW would you allow them no curfew?

 

[BTSEN5]

We always get a stateroom aft on deck two and all three cruises we have been on I have gone out to the stairs at 2 or 3 in the morning and asked the teens to find another place to hang out as the noise they were making was keeping us awake.

This is exactly where we are at on our July Cruise. We are one stateroom from the end, so we will be right there by the elevators. Two or 3 in the morning is too late for them to be out running around a ship anyway. I don't believe anything is open after midnight from what I have read. I am sure the workers are cleaning up the ship etc. They don't need a bunch of teens running around either.

 

[Peggy Jean]

What cruise will you be going on in July? We will be on the Magic July 15-22. I am worried about my 18 year old meeting people. I have not heard much about older teens on the ship.....they are considered adults, but my son just turned 18. Do they have plenty to do?

We're on the July 22-29, Just after your cruise. You'll notice from my timeline that both of mine will be 18 and over. I am looking forward to this as they will be allowed to use the fitness center, go to the spa and go to the "adult" cabaret shows, swim in the adult pool, etc... Last time DD then 16 wasn't much into the teen scene, this was pre "Stack" area, then it was something else and unfortunately most of the teens on our cruise were younger teens, so she wasn't much into that scene. She ended up hanging around with DH and me, which was fine, but you know. So with having more of the ship available to them I hope they'll relax and enjoy the trip. I know I will.

 

[debloco]

When we cruised in March '04 with our DD (14) and one of her friends (15), they had to meet us for dinner each night except for the night we went to Palo.

And after discovering what a riot Bingo is on a Disney ship on that cruise, I made everyone play final Jackpot Bingo!

They had a great time and we didn't worry about them. There were a couple of times when we tried to leave them messages on their voicemail and heard that it was FULL!

 

[linnied]

Ok ...... After reading all of this I have a few questions.

1. What time are things open until? I though everything shut down at Midnight. Why must anyone be wondering around after 12:30 AM if nothing is going on - especially teenagers.

2. When you say "house phone" what are you refering too?

3. How do the pagers work and can the teens have one too?

4. When you say you tried to leave messages on their voice mail - again what are you referring too. I thought the cell phone didnt work on board either?

I will be on the July 8 - 15 Magic with a 14 turning 15 on board dd, and we are traveling with my bro who has a 13 ds. She will have strick instructions not to go anywhere alone, or with anyone I do not know. Just like at home. She is to tell me when she is leaving one place and arriving at another - we are planning on taking 2 way radios for this purpose. She will have dinner and shows with the family and shore excursions as well. She will have a curfew for sure, I just dont know what time it will be. I am one that will not sleep until she is in, and since she will not be allowed to wonder by herself, I will have to escort her to the cabin when she seperates from her cousin, unless db is willing to do so, therefore I want to get some sleep as the days will be very busy and active. I am thinking a few min after midnight when everything shuts down. I will plan on meeting her and my nephew somewhere, walk him to his room and then we will call it a night. I guess I can alternate with db on that one.