How much do you help your middle schooler with homework?

[GaSleepingBeautyFan]

I have a 5th grader and a 9th grader.

It's very seldom that I have to help them with their homework. Occassionally my 5th grader will ask me to clarify something for her but other than that, I ask if they've gotten their homework done and that's it. I did learn to keep posterboard stocked at my house since my son is needing it alot more now.

I'm sure alot of the issue you have with the writing is that they teach the basics of an essay in your new district in 4th and 5th grade like our schools do. By the time you are in 6th, the teachers expect the kids to be able to do an essay in our district.

You may want to contact the teacher and ask if there are any materials that you could use that would help your son get up to speed on it.

I think you are helping out just the right amount. Good luck!

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

I'm sure alot of the issue you have with the writing is that they teach the basics of an essay in your new district in 4th and 5th grade like our schools do. By the time you are in 6th, the teachers expect the kids to be able to do an essay in our district.

They covered that too, but at a much less sophisticated level. Recently in science he's had a paper where he had to watch a movie about reptiles and write a 5 paragraph summary -- no problem, he can organize it into paragraphs about lizards, and snakes, and turtles, and write an introductory and summary paragraph. Or in social studies he had to write a paper explaining how the introduction of canals led to changes in the Mesopotamian society. He did fine with that. For both of those he needed some help with grammar, and some reminders to use more formal language, but the final draft he produced looked a lot like the rough draft.

But his English teacher keeps sending home assignments with way more detail. He's working on a 3 paragraph paper on illiteracy, some of the things he needs to include are "both a complete and formal definition of the topic, and a more causual definition" plus "direct quotes and statistics". On another paper he was supposed to write a 5 sentence paragraph that described how the organization he chose made a contribution to his school community, his neighborhood, and the broader community where he lives. That's a lot to try and organize into a short paragraph, and he really struggles.

I'm going to talk to her at PT conferences, so she knows how much help he's getting.

 

[KAMLEM]

I couldn't even tell you what my kids (freshman and junior) have for homework most nights. They are very independent and they know what they have to do. Once in a while they might have a question and I'm happy to help, but that's not often. I check their grades on-line and they always turn in their homework so I don't need to stay on top of them. That's pretty much how they were in middle school, too. That being said, I think every kid is different and I don't think there is anything wrong with a parent helping as long as they are not doing the homework.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

Never. One DD just graduated from college, one is a Jr, DS a Sr in HS.

I used a tutor for Spanish once for oldest DD (just couldn't grasp a concept) and one for Math for 2nd DD for several weeks (she'd freak out at the sight of a word problem...still got good grades, but not without a lot of anxiety, so I got a tutor to help her approach the problem) and a few Math tutor sessions for DS who LOVED Math (will major in Engineering ) but drew a blank with long division in 2nd grade (3rd?).

The reason I chose a tutor over helping them myself was 1) I didn't get past Spanish 3 in HS 2) I felt a trained educator was best and 3) I didn't want them to think it was too easy to just come to me without trying.

That doesn't mean DH and I were totally removed from their education. We did all the open houses, Parent Teacher conferences, discussed with the kids what they were doing in school, and they could come to us to discuss anything. And probably the biggest thing was teaching them to be responsible in general.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

Never.

Correction...I did glue letters on a poster board when she was going to be up all night otherwise. And after she got some sleep, I discussed (lectured?) not waiting until the last minute.

DH also cut the Titanic iceberg out of styrofoam for a diorama. But even then, I felt that DD should've just used a material she could deal with herself.

 

[punkin]

I help DD11 (7th grade) with her French. For some reason she has problems with foreign languages (and spelling in any language). She pretty much does everything else herself. She does like me to proof some of her English papers. This is a huge departure from my oldest who needed constant hand-holding.

Of course, DD earned almost solid Cs this quarter so maybe I should have been more hands on. On the other hand she's been on honor roll every semester so far. Maybe this quarter is an aberration.

 

[Pigeon]

We help. My 8th grader is taking an advanced science class this year. Dh teaches that same course at a different school. The teacher dd has this year is abominable. She won't allow the kids to ask questions, she's rude, she gives assignments with graphs and drawings that are illegible, she writes test questions and assignments that include so many grammatical mistakes as to be unintelligible, etc. But she has a Ph.D. and thinks she's the cat's jammies.

Dh is essentially teaching dd the science course himself. She's doing pretty well and all her peers are failing. He also will help a little with math if she asks for it. Both of us were science majors and want the kids to like science, so we're willing to do what it takes to not turn them off to it completely despite this teacher.

Other than that, we do nag a little to get her to not put things off, but don't specifically help with the work.