How much $$ do you give for wedding gifts?

[disneychick05]

We have several weddings coming up and I am not sure how much $$ to give as a gift. I think it probably depends on the relationship of whoever is getting married to the person giving the gift. We got married 5 years ago and looking back, gifts were pretty cheap compared to what we have been giving lately.

We are going to my cousin's wedding who is the same age as me. I never see him and when we got married his parents gave the gift for him, I guess since he was still living at home. I feel like I don't need to give him as much as I would give to one of my close friends who we see and talk to frequently. Any ideas?? I'd love to hear what other people give...thanks!

 

[Papa Deuce]

All depends.... we have given $100, we have given $500.

 

[Goobergal99]

This is totally going to be a regional answer because I discovered that many ppl in other areas of the country don't give cash gifts. I was flamed on a wedding planning website for asking this very same question

I try and at least cover my plate (it's a NE custom) which up hear can often mean giving $150 per couple or more.

However I will say that to my surprise at our wedding we had absolutely no physical gifts at all and our 115 guests gave a total of $8000 to us on our wedding day. Now I will say that I had family from Sicily there that gave us alot (like $500 per couple) but some of the ppl I sort of thought would have a hard time affording coming really gave us alot.

 

[aprilgail2]

In this area its usually a minimum of 100 a head for non family depending on where the reception is..the nicer the place the bigger the gift around here. Family of course is more...

 

[disneynutt1225]

In this area its usually a minimum of 100 a head for non family depending on where the reception is..the nicer the place the bigger the gift around here. Family of course is more...

Yep, that's the norm around here. Of course, YMMV.

 

[Sugardimples]

We give $100 to those are are close to, $50 to not so close, $25 to those we hardly know but who for some reason sent us an invitation. I feel no need to tie my gift to the cost of the wedding; we give what we feel we can afford.

 

[MAKmom]

DH & I always give a $100.00. We have been married 13 years is a $100.00 still a $100.00?

 

[golfgal]

I agree that this is a very regional thing. Around here $20 for a couple you don't know well, $50 for someone closer, $100 for a close relative. I usually try to buy something off a registry though.

 

[emilymad]

I always give a $100 unless they are good friends and then I would give more. I have heard of the custom to cover your meal but even $150 a couple wouldn't cover a lot of weddings any more.

 

[mickeyfan2]

We give a minimum of $100 and go up from there. We also send money even if we cannot attend.

 

[Lynn CC]

We had a family wedding last weekend, my cousins daughter who we havent' seen for years, but they are still cousins! Nice sit-down dinner 3 of us were invited (DS who is 19). $250

We have a wedding coming up with DH's golf buddies son (we never met the son), but were going to a nice sit-down. $150.

I don't know if that's cheap or not? I'm hoping it's enough!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

We never give less than $100 if we are attending the reception. I think that is pretty standard.

 

[Bob Slydell]

It depends on who it is, but usually it's between $100 and $200.

 

[Cthia]

We give enough to cover the meal which we figure is about $50 a plate for each of us.

We have a weekend to attend this weekend. My BIL is getting married, we are giving him more since he is family.

For my wedding the average gift was $50. It didn't matter to us, we were happy they were there to share in our day.

 

[Sleeping~Beauty]

Where I live, people give to cover at least the cost of their plate. So mininum for a couple is now about $200, more for close family/friends and bridal party.

I have learned that this is really a regional thing. I was so surprised at how informal other areas are with weddings.

 

[KarenAylwood]

I don't give money because up until a few months ago I was just a poor student. I now have a job, but it's not an incredibly good paying one. I'd say that once I get on my feet I'd spend $75-100 on a gift off the registry- I don't like giving straight money, although I know that's the norm some places. If it was someone really close to me (like a best friend) I'd spend $100 on a gift on top of whatever I was spending on her to begin with (aka, shower, bachelorette party, dress, etc).

When I was a poor college student I would spend no less than $40 but sometimes as much as $75 depending on the closeness of the person to me.

 

[DaisyD]

We never base it on how much the couple is spending on the reception. It isn't our choice how much money they decide to waste! LOL! We base it on how close we are to the couple. If we barely know them then we don't even attend. Distant family might get $50-$100. This would be second cousins and the like. Closer family start at $200 and go up to $500 depending on who it is. We went to two friends last year. One had a BBQ and one had an elabrate wedding. We gave them both the same amount of $100.

 

[goodeats]

At our wedding two years ago most people gave gifts off the registries (some gave gifts not on the registries, and I will never do that unless I know the person really well). A lot of DH's relatives from back East gave checks, and some of my closer family gave checks (like Grandma, Aunts & Uncles) along with a wrapped gift. Very nice.

Since we are still young we don't give cash or checks, I just don't feel it's appropriate to give someone in my same age range cash. I would give a gift card if there was nothing affordable on the registry. In general we spend between $75 and $100 off the registry plus a $30 shower gift.

I have to admit now that I have had my wedding and see what people gave me it's hard not to take that into account when their wedding comes up.

 

[RachaelRol]

At least $150. I don't worry about covering the plate because its what we can afford and not what they spent. I know here in NJ/NY area its very common to cover the plate, and its also common for elaborate bridal registries. I always spend at least $ 50 to 75 on the shower too. So IMO, we're pretty generous.

I actually know people who write down the dollar amounts that were given to them atthier weddings then reciprocate that same amount. DH and I did not do that. We spent about 25K on our wedding at received about $6500 in cash gifts plus a couple non cash gifts. We were okay with this as we did not expect to "make money" on our wedding. I'll tell you, you'd be amazed at people who are upset they didn't at least break even or come out ahead.

Hello, don't spend it if you can't afford to lose it!!!!

 

[imsorry]

Well, we try to cover the per plate cost. Most weddings we go to that means $250-$300. When my cousins daugher got married we gave $500 because I heard the wedding cost something like $95,000 (country club wedding).

Of course, it goes way up for immediate family. When my sister's daughter got married, I gave her $2500. When my nephew eloped, I gave them $1,000.
I don't have children of my own, so I try to be good the the nieces and nephews.