How much $$ do you give for wedding gifts?

[Crankyshank]

How much we give really depends on how well we know the couple. (ok and how much we like them). The least I've given was $75 (child of a friend of my parents) and the most $200 (best friend).

 

[Goobergal99]

It is pretty much a no no around here to give an actual gift at a wedding instead of a check or cash. I don't think I have ever seen anyone with anything other than an envelope and money at a reception or heard of anyone giving anything other than that for a wedding. Registries are for the engagement party and/or bridal shower around here.
As for covering your plate you can tell by the kind of place it is about how much it costs per plate and no reception hall is going to be under 75.00 a head in this area, and that is a cheap one!
I also had friends that would bring a blank check and depending on if it was an open bar or not that would decide how much they gave..if they had to pay for their own drinks the gift went down LOL.

Same here, most ppl register for shower gifts not wedding gifts. My cousin is deeply religious and didn't have an open bar at her wedding, come to think about it she didn't even have a DJ. So of course I have all these sterotypical irish uncles on my moms side of the family who didn't come to the wedding and the ones who did come had a cooler in the trunk of their cars. So then when it came time for my wedding my mom made sure the word was spread that there would be a premium open bar, so needless to say all the old uncles were their doing the jig

I was actually suprised to find out that open bars are not the norm in most areas of the country, because around here it is almost a gurantee. Of course I didn't even have a sip of alcohol at my wedding, nor did I eat an ounce of the food that everybody claimed was so great but how many brides actually do anyway?

 

[imsorry]

It does seem to be a regional/ethnic thing. We always feel that the bride and groom should go home from the wedding with a little nest egg after the wedding is paid for.

OT: My parents even gave money at wakes/funerals if the family took us out to eat.

 

[JoyG]

Oh no, I was just in a wedding last month and now I'm worried I didn't give her enough money based on what I'm reading here!

It was the wedding of a childhood friend on Long Island. I was a bridesmaid and I gave her $200. That is the most I've ever given at a wedding, but I also hadn't been to a wedding in more than 6 years!

She had it at a country club with excellent food. I don't know if that $200 covered the cost of the dinner for dh and myself. Hope she doesn't think I was being cheap.

 

[Sleeping~Beauty]

It is pretty much a no no around here to give an actual gift at a wedding instead of a check or cash. I don't think I have ever seen anyone with anything other than an envelope and money at a reception or heard of anyone giving anything other than that for a wedding. Registries are for the engagement party and/or bridal shower around here.
As for covering your plate you can tell by the kind of place it is about how much it costs per plate and no reception hall is going to be under 75.00 a head in this area, and that is a cheap one!

That's how it is here, too. You just don't show up with a gift (that would be tacky. I know others said that money was tacky, but I couldn't disagree more!)

It's not like the bride and groom tell you how much the place costs, most places average a certain amount.

I am also Italian and Irish, so this is part of it, too. But any wedding I've been to (and there has been many) have been this way.

I guess that I am surprised to read the negative dismay over this. It can be just as shocking to go to a wedding somewhere else. It doesn't make it wrong, it just makes it different from what you are accustomed to.

 

[arminnie]

It really is such a regional thing. I've been to some pretty fancy society weddings in New Orleans, Texas, Arkansas, Mississippi, and California.

It would almost always be a slap in the face to give money to the bride and groom. It would be an insinuation that the couple didn't have enough money to throw the wedding (insult number one) or that the guest didn't want to bother with getting a gift (insult number two).

I have given money to a second cousin that I knew did not have very much money. Not because they needed help to pay with the wedding, but I thought it could help them with their new house. Only because I was close to the parents did I feel comfortable doing this. And I have to admit that I was lazy and it was easier than going to the store.

 

[Forevryoung]

I'll jump on this one-

One of my closest friends is getting married in August in Atlanta. I am a bridesmaid. We just graduated college this past week and I start grad school in the fall so little money.

I'm from NY where we give money and I am prepared to do that but does anyone have a suggestion about an actual gift? I would like to spend $75 or so (besides the dress, shoes, bridal shower gift... I have to pay for my flight there $250 and at least one night in a hotel so $75 is all I can spend even though I love her dearly).

She keeps saying get her something off the registry but I feel silly doing that- I want to get her something meaningful. The happy couple move into an apartment after the wedding and are pretty much starting from scratch. Any ideas?

 

[arminnie]

She keeps saying get her something off the registry but I feel silly doing that- I want to get her something meaningful.

If they celebrate Christmas, a special sterling silver or crystal dated Christmas ornament might be nice. I've done that several times, and people seem to enjoy using it over the years.

 

[LisaB]

I usually give money and a gift. One of the last weddings we went to we gave 100 and a bottle of champagne. Since my husband had his digital camera we went home and printed out a picture of the bride and groom exchanging their vows.