How many presents do your children get?

[golfgal]

Some of the best parenting advice I ever got was "just because you can doesn't mean you should".

 

[Chelley00]

My kids get 4 presents each

A thing you want
A thing you need
A thing you wear
A thing you read

They also each get 3-4 smaller presents in their stockings.


I couldn't imagine buying 10-15 presents for each of our 4 kids. I'd go broke! The way we do helps me to keep track that they all get the same amount of gifts, and I don't go overboard (because I would!) They also all get presents from grandparents and uncles/aunts, so they get more than the 4.

 

[Holly]

Some of the best parenting advice I ever got was "just because you can doesn't mean you should".

 

[Ppufi]

I always got a lot as a kid. We didn't eat out or get things during the year besides clothing, so it was a big deal. Of course, nothing was ever more than $30. Now we get a few things that we really need and a couple we want, mostly because it gets so hard to find stuff you "want" as a teen without it being so pricey.

 

[marcyinPA]

Listen to your DH. Your kids are smart enough to understand. It doesn't have to be exactly even.

Thanks for the reality check! You are right, and so is my DH. It's just that mommy guilt that overtakes me and makes my brain stop working properly!

 

[drag n' fly]

I dont keep track of numbers. I have a budget set for each kid. I spend the exact same amount on each kid. Some might have more gifts than others (the older might have more expensive but less gifts) but I spent the same amount on all three kids.

 

[tiggerlover]

I don't count gifts, I stick to a dollar amount (I usually go over too) and see what we end up with. As kids get older the gifts are more expensive so there are less under the tree than when they are younger and the gifts aren't as costly.

 

[Katy Belle]

I spend the same amount on each kid, but different # of gifts.

DS15 has 3 gifts, rock band keyboard, a video game, an ornament and an envelope with $50 from us/santa.


DS13 is getting several books, maybe 6, a video game, a controler,a rip stick, a clock,an ornament and a cool box/trunk. Not sure how many will be wrapped together, or what the final count will be.

DS10, is getting a drum set, a bug maker,and several small things.

They each get about 5 gifts from other people too.

 

[scootch]

My kids are more like the 15. They don't have any grandparents though, so I think I tend to overbuy due to that. I really don't set out to buy a certain number, but moreso just get what I think they will play with or want. Not everything is hugely expensive either. Thankfully with no house, no car payment and no debt, everything is paid for. I do agree with the Some of the best parenting advice I ever got was "just because you can doesn't mean you should". There are some things they may want(like American Girl's Julie's Locker) that no matter how badly they want it, I would not spend that much for it. Somehow even with getting most of what they want and living a life most kids would only dream of, they are very grounded and very giving individuals. We have had some huge losses in life(grandparent deaths, 21 year old neice dying) so I think that keeps us all grounded on what is really important in life.

 

[Longsx3]

That is really sad, but large Christmas don't necessarily equate to the entitled behavior that you witnessed. My DD(14) is an only and has always had large Christmas', although she typically only asks for 1 or 2 items, tonight I told her that her grandmother felt bad because she would not have a gift under the tree from her, she gave her cleats at the beginning of soccer season, DD said that is okay I appreciate the cleats but if it will make her feel better you can wrap a box, I like boxes.

We spent last Christmas at Disney last year. We share a boat with the most entitled brat ever. He was at Disney. It was Christmas and all he could talk about was all the crap he was expecting to get once he got home. I can't even begin to tell you how ugly this child sounded. No appreciation, all expectation. My kids and I discussed what we had heard from this kid and we decided that we needed to make some changes. Aside from one meaningful gift per child and the kids shopping for each other, no other gifts under the tree. Instead, we've used that money to go DO things. Christmas festivals, a concert. Day trips out of town. Outreach with our church. The kids actually love it. on Christmas eve, were all helping out with childcare at our church, then going to the service. Christmas day, we'll just have a nice meal and enjoy being together as a family. Presents won't play a big role this year.

 

[SunFloridaDisney]

We have 4 kids, youngest 2 in high school. When they were little we spent about the same on each child, some would get more presents due to the bigger ticket items.

The last few years have been very challenging financially. We explained that the amount we can spend would go way down this year. They will each get about 4 items, and mostly all things they need. Mostly clothing. I know some people think that's not fun, but my kids are very glad to get new jeans or a shirt or hoodie, because they don't have much. They have to buy most of their own things with money from their part-time jobs, so anything they get is a treat.


They also get some money from my parents, but DH's parents have passed. They don't get anything else from aunts and uncles or anyone else.

The kids also get small items for each other, that is always fun to see what each gets.

Our main emphasis is on family time spent together, going to church together, and enjoying board games and meals. DH and I are both off work for the entire week, and it is the one time of year we get to all enjoy being together without everyone working.

Merry Christmas everyone!

 

[Mama Mouse]

Like every year, this year I said I was going to put my foot down. I was going to reel it in! I was NOT going to go overboard. By golly our child must learn to appreciate things! I will not buy a million things!

Ha.

And like every year, I got completely carried away, shopping over a two month period and just generally going completely, well, overboard.

He's getting:
Couple of craft kits (on sale for $2 each, originally $30 each!)
paper jamz drums
paper jamz guitar
bakugan dragonoid thingy
spongebob snuggie
green bay snuggie (yes, two snuggies due to hubby who doesn't listen!!), Rush Hour game
Lego Darth Vader clock
Percy Jackson book
Neverending Story book
How to Train your dragon book
Soft blanket (he loves these and it was only $3 on Black Friday)
Car charger kit for his DS
Goonies never say die Tshirt
3 small star wars lego sets
Ghostbusters game for DS
Goonies dvd
3 Caballeros dvd
round Disney puzzle
New version of Charlie and the Chocolate factory (dvd)

He has a stocking stuffed with some small matchbox cars, silly bandz, couple pieces of candy, goldfish crackers and some skins for the wii remotes.

Santa is bringing an Xbox 360 and Kinect, Magic Kingdom board game and a stuffed dog from the Grinch.

So 23 wrapped gifts and three that will be from Santa. All the gifts from us are wrapped and under the tree.

Yeah, we spent a crap ton of money even though I was completely adamant that we would NOT spend that much this year! In my defense, dh dragged home a couple things that were definitely not discussed and, as you can see, he also dragged home an expensive Packers Snuggie after I told him I bought the spongebob one that ds asked for. He totally forgot!

AND he also bought the super expensive xbox and kinect, which ds will LOVE but still. The price had me !! After some scoffing, though, I let it go. DH grew up very, very poor. He's got some big issues with how their feelings and the work situation was dealt with (no real dedication to working, etc.) as he grew up and that translates into how he parents our son. He bends over backwards to NOT be like that and it gives him so much joy to see DS on Christmas morning. It's not something I'm willing to take away from him.

Ds will get other gifts, too, from family so he'll wind up one spoiled, happy kid, I'm sure.

The good thing is, ds, while being a normal 7 year old, still says thank you and MEANS it and he is always so excited and appreciative. We take him every year to pull an angel off the tree to buy for. He always picks someone his age and gender and that really affects him. He's a very thoughtful, sensitive kid. We also go through his toys several times a year and pass things on to my niece and nephew who aren't as well off as we are. He helps pick gifts for them at holidays and is, generally, a very thoughtful kid. This year we have noticed an increase in the "I wants" and the "I'm getting" and "I can't wait until I gets" and just a general negative attitude but it's developmentally appropriate at this age and we're working through it. He's certainly no Dudley Dursley!

 

[Mrs. Darcy]

I used to get 5 or 6 gifts from "Santa" and 2 or 3 from my parents when I was a kid. I have a feeling when I have kids I'm going to go overboard like you Mama Mouse! I can see myself with a Toys R us wagon filled to overflowing!

 

[Mama Mouse]

That is really sad, but large Christmas don't necessarily equate to the entitled behavior that you witnessed. My DD(14) is an only and has always had large Christmas', although she typically only asks for 1 or 2 items, tonight I told her that her grandmother felt bad because she would not have a gift under the tree from her, she gave her cleats at the beginning of soccer season, DD said that is okay I appreciate the cleats but if it will make her feel better you can wrap a box, I like boxes.

I agree.

I was an only for 21 years and Christmas was HUGE for me. My Mom and Dad absolutely went overboard! I certainly don't feel entitled at all! I'm BIG on work ethics-working HARD for what you have. Working to achieve and not coasting through life type stuff. In our family we value relationships, education, work ethic...those types of things and we are trying to teach our son about those values every single day. We also teach by modeling and living what we preach.

I like to think I'm a very compassionate person. I'm in a helping profession. I have the capacity to be making much more money but it's not worth it to me. I feel like I have the most impact where I am and my son knows more and more about that as he grows older. He also sees my husband's career and is beginning to see all that dh puts into it.

Now I certainly went through my phases as a child. I'm sure I acted like a brat more than once and maybe at times felt entitled but that was as a CHILD and luckily morals and values led me another direction. You can get a lot of stuff under the tree and not turn out to be a wicked spoiled brat. It doesn't all boil down to what's under the tree on Christmas morning.

 

[GoldieSaysMeep]

Some of the best parenting advice I ever got was "just because you can doesn't mean you should".

Why not? Do you (or anyone) assume that all kids that get lots of gifts are going to be snotty little brats like that kid in the boat with AmazingGrace? Boat Boy was a brat, plain and simple.

But then again, Boat Boy---well, he's also a child and a child who was probably excited about his upcoming parade of gifts. I would probably be too if I was like, 9. So who knows what he'll be like as an adult. I know I changed a lot between age 9 and age 34 as far as knowing what is appropriate to say.

Does this apply to the adults on your list too? Should a spouse not get their spouse a lot of gifts if they can afford it? Why not? I can and do get my DH a lot of gifts. It doesn't break the bank and these items bring him joy. This year, from me alone, he is getting:

~a weekend away in a little town we like at Christmas (this is his big gift from me every year)
~a new hockey helmet (this is his other big gift…mostly because I worry about his safety when he plays)
~a bruins fleece pullover
~a bruins water bottle
~a nice bruins leather wallet
~a pac man wall clock
~a set of pac man shot glasses (which was the only thing he asked me for)
~a $40 gift card to a music store
~a bruins bottle open & wine stopper
~a Hickory Farms jalapeno and cheddar cheese (which I game him already)
~assorted candy
~and I will make dinner of his choosing on the day after Christmas

There's probably a few other things too, which I am forgetting. Is that "too much"? Does he need all these things? No. But they make him happy.

I also can and do get a lot of for my cousins and nieces. My cousins are foster children whose lives have been hell up to now and because I can, I get them a lot of gifts for Christmas because it makes them happy and I enjoy seeing them smile and laugh.

Last time I checked, most children like toys. Doesn't mean that they are evil and rotten and selfish and materialistic--- as clearly demonstrated by the numerous examples here of kids who get tons of gifts but also give to charity.

I am truly befuddled by the attitude that a lot of people seem to take that there is something inherently evil about spending money, that they have worked for and earned, on those they love because it brings them (the giver and givee) happiness.

When I encounter those with that attitude, I assume they are either very self righteous or they are very jealous.

I also find it ironic when people complain about people (esp. kids) "bragging" about their gifts (which I find that to many people "bragging" simply means "talking about when asked"), but then proceed to go on about how much they donate to charity instead of gifts. I don't know if anyone here has done that, but I have encountered it in "real life" (I live next to a very wealthy town and we share a mall…lol) where people will make general statements about "well off" people buying their kids a lot for Christmas instead of donating to charity and then go on a 10 minute "look at how generous I am" type rant about how much they donated, or how their kids only get one gift because they are being taught to donate the rest to the needy. I wonder if these people realize they are "bragging" just as much. Just in a different way. It's like "great, you are soooo much better than all the rest of us who enjoy gifts. Good for you."

Also, you have no idea if that family whose kids get 127 gifts is also teaching them to donate to the needy and you have no idea if those kids are going to grow up bratty like Boat Boy or like the most generous non-profit worker you ever met. You have no idea if that kid who gets 2 gifts is going to grow up into a selfish, rotten adult. I'm sure plenty do. I'm sure plenty don't.

 

[U2_rocks!]

For me it's more a case of not being able to even think about that many things to give another person, including my own kids! I know my kids well, and I have no trouble finding anywhere between 10 and 20 things they would like all at once. I would seriously have trouble with 80 things - I would have to resort to a lot of things that they might find "just OK", but not be that excited about. And also, I know what happens to the 10 - 20 things they get now - they just cannot enjoy them all. Maybe over the course of the year they rediscover some of their Christmas presents, but I know that so many new things all on one day can be overwhelming. And when I see that they barely have the capacity to truly enjoy 20 things, it just seems that 40, 60 or 80 is overkill, and just plain unnecessary. For me it's not so much the money - if I had all the money in the world I'd still buy relatively few things - but I'd be able to increase the budget significantly for those few things. Maybe kids who are used to getting a lot of presents are able to appreciate them all, I don't know. I can only speak from my own experience, which is where my opinions about "excess" come from.

DH and I don't exchange gifts anymore because we truly can't think of things to buy each other within our gift budget. Even if we had unlimited funds, I'm not sure I could find many presents for DH! His wishes are usually quite technical, and difficult for me to choose on my own. Right now he wants a new boat engine, but we can't afford it. Even if we could, I wouldn't have a clue what to buy! Both of us feel that, because we share our money, it doesn't make sense to buy each other things unless they are a surprise. i.e. I wouldn't buy a highly technical gift for DH that he would have to choose himself in order to get the right one - that ruins the spirit of it. Instead we buy what we need for ourselves and the house throughout the year, and keep the Christmas and birthday gift budget for the kids and others not in our household. Neither of us is so attached to the idea of opening gifts that we are willing to choose our own gifts for our spouse to wrap. My sister-in-law feels completely differently about this, so I know it's a personal thing. Some people just like unwrapping presents, and there's nothing wrong with that either.

 

[DawnM]

I haven't wrapped yet. I am still sick in bed.

I think they will get about 10 each. But that includes smaller gifts like a giant candy bar for their stocking, a small box of candy, etc....

Mostly they are getting shared gifts....Wii games, a ping pong table, that sort of thing.

Dawn

 

[RunDanceSkate]

How it works at our house:

Mom (me) buys and wraps 1 gift per child (2 kids) (usually $50 to 100)
Dad buys and wraps 1 gift per child (usually $50 to 100)
Mom/Dad/Sibing together buy and wrap 1 gift per child ($ depends on budget)
Sibling buys and wraps 1 gift for sibling ($25 to 50)
Santa (Sinterklauss) brings 1 gift plus fills stocking with candies/nuts/ects

Total per child 5 gifts

DD buys and wraps 1 gift per parent ($25 to 50)
DS buys and wraps 1 gift per parent ($25 to 50)
DD/DS/Spouse together buy and wrap 1 gift for other parent ($ depends on budget)
Spouse buys and wraps 1 gift for spouse (usually $50 to 100)
Santa fills stocking with candies/nuts/ects

Total per parent 4 gifts

The combined gift takes alot of work getting everyone to agree, but it is usually the best one.

Each present is presented by the giver to the receiver and everyone pays attention to the opening. Each gift is valued and chosen with care, even the wrapping is geared to the receipient.

The kids and I went last Saturday to pick up DH's gift and we can hardly wait until he opens it. We have been thinking about it for months and second guessing if it is the right gift. Once we decided, getting it was an adventure. I had to be at work for 1pm. The person who sells the item was at a craft show which opened at 10am, the kids didn't want to give up their Sat to go, but they talked it over and decided to that it was important to come with me. We got there looked around, found our vendor and he didn't have what we wanted with him. He called his wife, she agreed to meet us at the house, where we got to meet and play with a great dog, see the workshop and chat with the artist (the wife). We chose our unique piece, (there were several similar ones, each with pros and cons) and I still made it to work on time. I didn't have time to run the kids home though so they bused.

It also happened to be the same day that DH was trying to get home from Sweden, got stuck in England due to snow. Was told that he would not get home before Dec 26th. Luckily he was able to take a round about way home, on 2 other airlines, and arrived home yesterday, only 3 days later then planned.

This gift already has a lot of memories associated with it.

 

[princesshannahsmom]

I am truly befuddled by the attitude that a lot of people seem to take that there is something inherently evil about spending money, that they have worked for and earned, on those they love because it brings them (the giver and givee) happiness.

When I encounter those with that attitude, I assume they are either very self righteous or they are very jealous.

I also find it ironic when people complain about people (esp. kids) "bragging" about their gifts (which I find that to many people "bragging" simply means "talking about when asked"), but then proceed to go on about how much they donate to charity instead of gifts. I don't know if anyone here has done that, but I have encountered it in "real life" (I live next to a very wealthy town and we share a mall…lol) where people will make general statements about "well off" people buying their kids a lot for Christmas instead of donating to charity and then go on a 10 minute "look at how generous I am" type rant about how much they donated, or how their kids only get one gift because they are being taught to donate the rest to the needy. I wonder if these people realize they are "bragging" just as much. Just in a different way. It's like "great, you are soooo much better than all the rest of us who enjoy gifts. Good for you."

Also, you have no idea if that family whose kids get 127 gifts is also teaching them to donate to the needy and you have no idea if those kids are going to grow up bratty like Boat Boy or like the most generous non-profit worker you ever met. You have no idea if that kid who gets 2 gifts is going to grow up into a selfish, rotten adult. I'm sure plenty do. I'm sure plenty don't.

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU 100 times over.

My DD is one of the most giving, caring, thoughtful children I know. That includes many friends of hers who aren't as fortunate as she is. The number of gifts she gets at Christmas does not equate to an entitled mentality. As I said, she NEVER asks for much, and what she does ask for, she typically NEEDS.

As I said, we don't have a lot, we really don't, but we don't eat out (some, but very little), she doesn't get things throughout the year, our cars are paid for and we don't have ANY credit card debt. So, Christmas is our time to use what we haven't used for other "fun stuff" throughout the year.

My DH grew up VERY poor and went some years with nothing but a pair of jeans or a coat for Christmas. It brings him GREAT joy to see my daughter's face and to hear her many thank you's on Christmas day. I won't take that away from him EVER, because he also works really hard to keep DD grounded and greatful. That to me is more important than wondering if someone will think I am wrong for "spoiling" my precious gift of a daughter.

 

[luvsJack]

I enjoy spoiling my dd too, but not just at Christmas. She gets things all through the year and a big birthday. I just don't want an overload of "things' to take away from the real celebration to Christmas.

With that said, she is getting 8-10 gifts. I spend $100 each on the adult children so their numbers vary on what they wanted. For dgd I spend less than $100 but she gets about 7 gifts. (that will have to go down a few next year as there will be TWO dgds :love)

DH grew up poor also, but he doesn't really remember what he did or didn't get for Christmas, just more about the big family get togethers and the fun things they DID. He likes a "big" Christmas but likes doing things all year too.
Part of what I don't spend on Christmas will be spent doing something special on NYE, a mini-vacation during Spring Break, a long weekend this summer at the beach and WDW next Thanksgiving (well thats the date we have set for now, we have changed it three times!)