How many presents do your children get?

[GoldieSaysMeep]

Goldie, I know you didn't ask for or expect these gifts from your parents, so this is not a judgement on you.

But, speaking only for myself, there is no way I'd be able to sit there and open 80 (!!) gifts, when I knew so many people (including children) had nothing.
I would be embarrassed at the ridiculous excessiveness of it all.

That sounds pretty judgemental to me. What would you like us to do? Donate all our gifts? We've had people actually say we should just donate everything we get to the homeless etc. Do you know how badly that would hurt my mom's feelings?

Sorry but I just can not stand the attitude that because some people have nothing, those who are fortunate should feel bad or embarrassed or like they should give up all luxuries. It's infuriating and judging a well off person for having excess is just as bad and judgemental as judging a poor person for having nothing.

 

[princesshannahsmom]

If I say I have no idea is that a bad thing? DD (14 and yes an only) usually has a big Christmas, probably because she has never had a long list of items that she wants so I go overboard. This year is probably smaller than most because the camp she wants to attend next summer is pricey, so she understands that is part of her Christmas. Her to big gifts are a laptop and a leather jacket, I got amazing deals on both!

DD rarely makes a list. When she does, it is very short, and mostly contains practical items and a few "fun" wants. Probably another reason I go overboard!

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

4 Kids...

1 "BIG" gift--(basically their "wow" present)
3 sibling gifts (they each buy for their siblings--however this gift is $35 of whatever said sibling selected. So in most cases it is more than one gift

Then there is the other stuff that I have not inventoried as they are still stashed
3 items that I can think of right away and then 1 or 2 additional items plus a book.

So I'm at 9 plus the extras that each sibling bought as stated above.

This doesn't include gifts that came to us from other people. Our tree looks like Santa already came.

 

[princesshannahsmom]

Goldie, I know you didn't ask for or expect these gifts from your parents, so this is not a judgement on you.

But, speaking only for myself, there is no way I'd be able to sit there and open 80 (!!) gifts, when I knew so many people (including children) had nothing.

I would be embarrassed at the ridiculous excessiveness of it all.

That sounds terribly judgmental of you.

I don't know about Goldie and her family, but I know that each year, all three of us pick an angel and we all three pick an elderly person at a nursing home (with little or no family) and get gifts for them as well. I make a small monetary donation to our local rescue mission as well as DD participating in multiple canned food drives for school and other activities. So, while we may indeed be going "over the top" we make sure that DD learns and knows what a pleasure it is to help other people.

 

[SaraJayne]

That sounds terribly judgmental of you.

I don't know about Goldie and her family, but I know that each year, all three of us pick an angel and we all three pick an elderly person at a nursing home (with little or no family) and get gifts for them as well. I make a small monetary donation to our local rescue mission as well as DD participating in multiple canned food drives for school and other activities. So, while we may indeed be going "over the top" we make sure that DD learns and knows what a pleasure it is to help other people.

That's wonderful of you and you are teaching your daughter a wonderful lesson.

 

[SaraJayne]

That sounds pretty judgemental to me. What would you like us to do? Donate all our gifts? We've had people actually say we should just donate everything we get to the homeless etc. Do you know how badly that would hurt my mom's feelings?

Sorry but I just can not stand the attitude that because some people have nothing, those who are fortunate should feel bad or embarrassed or like they should give up all luxuries. It's infuriating and judging a well off person for having excess is just as bad and judgemental as judging a poor person for having nothing.

Once you receive a gift, it is yours to do with as you wish.

No, I don't think you should donate everything, but those 80 gifts (year after year) have to go somewhere. How do you find room for everything? And no one said you should give up "all luxuries". Don't put words in my mouth, please.

As someone that was considered "poor" as a child, I've never judged those that have nothing. Because I've been there as a child that had no choice in the matter.

Do you feel 80 gifts per person is excessive? And I ask that as a sincere question.

 

[bethy]

I am the poster whose kids only get 3 gifts each Christmas and we could afford to give much, MUCH more. Some of that MUCH more goes to charity. In the form of large checks strategically given throughout the year. Some of it goes DIRECTLY to people in need. And even to people who are not in great need but could use a little blessing in their lives like we all could.

I can only type this info b/c I am anonymous on this message board. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you don't have to be poor to feel that the wealthy would do better to give unto others and NOT routing it through the government first (that is a different - and I believe forbidden topic -on the Dis.) I am one who does struggle whenever I spend a bunch of money on a pair of boots when others in the world have no shoes or food.

 

[GoldieSaysMeep]

Do you feel 80 gifts per person is excessive? And I ask that as a sincere question.

No, I really don't.

Because my parents sincerely enjoying doing this for their kids and in laws and grandkids. And occasionally our friends.

Nor do I feel that there's anything wrong with no gifts if that's how some families do things. Or limiting how many gifts.

I would feel it was excessive if the gift giver was going broke doing it, or if they hated doing it and were only doing it because they felt obligated. Neither of these is the case with my parents.

 

[GoldieSaysMeep]

I am the poster whose kids only get 3 gifts each Christmas and we could afford to give much, MUCH more. Some of that MUCH more goes to charity. In the form of large checks strategically given throughout the year. Some of it goes DIRECTLY to people in need. And even to people who are not in great need but could use a little blessing in their lives like we all could.

I can only type this info b/c I am anonymous on this message board. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you don't have to be poor to feel that the wealthy would do better to give unto others and NOT routing it through the government first (that is a different - and I believe forbidden topic -on the Dis.) I am one who does struggle whenever I spend a bunch of money on a pair of boots when others in the world have no shoes or food.

Well, quite frankly, I don't. My parents worked their butts off to get to where they are, and so did I. If I want to buy something for myself or my loved ones, I'm going to and no one is going to make me feel guilty about it. We don't feel "obligated" to donate to charity, either. But we do donate, because it feels good to help people need. Not because we "struggle" with not doing so.

What is with this attitude that people with wealth need to feel bad? You have no idea what my parents childhoods were like, but believe me they were not like mine. Some people act as if people like my parents never donate to charity or do anything except go out and buy stuff.

I was always taught that judging the person with a new outfit every day is just as bad as judging the person who wears the same outfit everyday.

 

[bethy]

We worked very hard and managed our finances very carefully to get to where we are, too. Lots of people work hard and that is awesome.

And yes, your money is yours to do with as you please.

 

[PUZZLDY5]

Before this thread turns ugly... moving on

We spend the same amount of money on each kid. Weather they get one thing of 30 things one kid doesn't feel left out in the least because they know our rules. Of corse they are older now so "Santa" doesn't visit our house anymore so everything is wrapped and under the tree. They also buy for each other too.

 

[SaraJayne]

No, I really don't.

Because my parents sincerely enjoying doing this for their kids and in laws and grandkids. And occasionally our friends.

Nor do I feel that there's anything wrong with no gifts if that's how some families do things. Or limiting how many gifts.

I would feel it was excessive if the gift giver was going broke doing it, or if they hated doing it and were only doing it because they felt obligated. Neither of these is the case with my parents.

Thank you for answering.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

No idea - I stay out of my wife's way this time of year.

 

[KadysMom]

DD9 is getting from us:

Nintendo NES
Mario for NES
Toy Story 3 Hamm Plush toy
Hex Bugs thing
PacMan 3 for DS
Sonic Rivals for PSP
2 sets of Bath and Body Works lotions
$25 gift card to Target
$10 gift card to Target
$25 gift card to Build A Bear
IPOD Touch

from Santa:
Toy Story 3 Slinky Dog Plush Toy
Toy Story 3 Slinky Dog Pull Toy
Loopz Game
Zoobles Sets
Squinkies Sets
Nurf Gun

My husband thinks I am insane for going over board. I dont think I have. But she gets lots of presents from our family, so she will have alot...

 

[Freyja]

My kids always just get one gift each from us and that´s the way it is usually is around here. They will also get gifts from their siblings, grandparents, aunts and uncles.

 

[southern_redhead]

8- Jeff Dunham Tshirt

WHERE did you find a Jeff Dunham shirt? I've never seen one, but I bet DH would love it

It may seem like a small number but they still get presents from grandparents, aunts and uncles. We try not to materialize the holiday too much. It's hard tho. Every year there is always something else I want to purchase for them but I have to stop myself or I buy it and save it for another holiday.

That is one thing to keep in mind, as well. I don't know what everyone's situation is but for my kids - they get one gift each from my mom. Granted it is a $50 gift but it is one thing to unwrap (please don't find me ungrateful, that isn't it - this was more to address the "all that stuff to unwrap" feeling.) DH's dad usually gives a small amount of money to each and something like Pj's or the like, IMO a good grandparent gift as well. His mother went more overboard. We did Christmas at her house yesterday. The kids got $50 of presents (DD a sleeping bag, Zhu Zhu ball, ZZ stroller ... youngest DS a Hotwheels track with case and cars, ZZ ball, ZZ motorcycle. The bigger boys got cash, a nerf toy, and one other small item.) They unwrapped more there than I would have expected but they were very appreciative of it. I have no brothers or sisters, DH has a brother and sister but they don't give gifts for holidays or birthdays. Occasionally my aunt and uncle send a token gift but not always (the kids have only met them a time or two so we don't ever expect anything from them.)

So, anyway, that basically means what is under our tree from us is what they get. It isn't like they are getting 15 or 16 presents here and then 5 or 6 gifts from each set of grandparents (usually, MIL was an exception this year) and a gift from each from several aunts or uncles.

And, there is also the fact that my kids don't get "gift" items through the year. They each get a pretty big birthday (again, we are basically all that buys for them. They get 2 more presents - one from my mom, one from my MIL - and we don't do parties every year.) I have a friend who does less for her kids for Christmas and birthdays but buys them each a toy everytime they go to the store. I figure it either balances out OR my kids actually still get less overall

DS (4) has about 15, SD (16) has about 10.

She's hard to shop for. She gives no indication on what she wants for Christmas. The 4 year olf wants everything.

Price wise, they are about even. Let's not even go there.

I will NOT go there. I am a stepmom, I'm sure some people would say "Your kids are getting 16 gifts and your stepson is getting 12?!" BUT most years he gets a gift or two from his mom as well as gifts from his mom's parents and (until this year) his stepdad's parents. Also, from his mother's sister so... he got the same amount or more than our kids just from more sources This year his mom is apparently not doing anything for him so we will get him a few more gifts from us.

It's annoying and hurtful. One of DH friends found out last year because he saw the new (huge) stack of PS3 games and he's made a few rather snide comments this year. It comes off as petty and childish on his part, IMO.

I have to say, NOT a "friend" in the true sense of the word. Especially since you say your DH was less fortunate at a child. How about being happy for his good fortune NOW? That was straight, uncut jealousy. I hope your DH let it roll off.

 

[Angelhalo]

Goldie, I know you didn't ask for or expect these gifts from your parents, so this is not a judgement on you.

But, speaking only for myself, there is no way I'd be able to sit there and open 80 (!!) gifts, when I knew so many people (including children) had nothing.

I would be embarrassed at the ridiculous excessiveness of it all.

Some of us who get lots of gifts also GIVE lots of gifts, not only to our friends and family, but also to the needy. For every gift I give to a family member, I match it with at least one charity donation.

 

[nana2tots]

After seeing everyone's post i'm kinda embaressed to post, but since the girl's mom is not here we,( nana and papa) has spoiled them, we alone give them around 25 gifts a piece, not counting from their Dad, which he dosen't give that much because he just dosen't get into Christmas like we do, this was Sandi's best time of the year, so forgive me !!!!!!!!!!

 

[MommaMouse411]

oh geez my kids are babies (2yrs old and 8months)...I think I counted 25 gifts for the 2yr old and I'm going to meet someone from craigslist tomorrow on another toy that will cost a pretty penny but still wayyyy cheaper than buying it new...but I bought alot of them at the consignment shops so I didn't spend alot of money...they are little so they don't know the difference from used or new!!

 

[Angelhalo]

After seeing everyone's post i'm kinda embaressed to post, but since the girl's mom is not here we,( nana and papa) has spoiled them, we alone give them around 25 gifts a piece, not counting from their Dad, which he dosen't give that much because he just dosen't get into Christmas like we do, this was Sandi's best time of the year, so forgive me !!!!!!!!!!

Don't be embarrased! You aren't alone and there is nothing to feel bad about! It's your money and your life. Some of us just enjoy a big Christmas! i can't imagine it any other way