How many kids do you have and would you do it again?

[leebee]

@QueenIsabella I appreciate the honesty of your last paragraph. I think we all know we have the days that would make my mom say, "NOW they tell me about birth control!" although most people I know won't admit to not always loving being a parent.

We have one child. I had DD when I was 37, and broke my pelvis during labor/delivery. I was older, broken, sick, and was 100% sure that I didn't want more kids. However... there I was, 42 and pregnant again. I couldn't believe I was pregnant, wasn't sure if I was ready for or wanted another child. When I miscarried, I wasn't upset. One was a terrific number for us, and DD is the person to whom I am probably closest. If we'd had a second child, I know I would have been fine, and TBH, some days I wonder what it would have been like to have a second, how that would have affected how DD grew and who she became, etc. However, one was it for us, and I don't for a second regret it. We could afford for me to stay home until she started third grade, and were able to also afford camps and ballet training, both of which wouldn't have happened for her if we''d had to stretch the money further. While we couldn't afford college when she went, we have made the loan payments (almost done!) so she's not carrying the burden. All in all, while I somedays wonder what having a second child would have been like, I am more than 100% happy with only having had one child, and yes, if I had it to do all over again, I'd have an only again. One was a good number for us!

 

[fla4fun]

Zero. And yes, I would do it again.

Same. I have never wanted children and am not sorry that I did not have any. I believe it is much better for the children to be born into families where they are truly wanted than to be born because their parents felt obligated or under societal pressure to have them.

 

[Smugpugmug]

Zero and would choose to have zero every single time.

 

[sheilafri]

In the younger years, the days can be long. But the years are short.

I love this sentiment. Too true.

 

[E&Cmom]

I have 2 age 20 and 17. Yes, would do it again. 2 was the number I wanted.

 

[brockash]

We have two kids, currently aged 3 and 6. We find ourselves going back and forth all the time as to whether to add a third.

It does feel like we are already in the thick of parenting young children and on days where we feel as though we are already at capacity, I can't imagine adding another human's needs into the mix. On the other hand, there has been nothing in life that has brought up greater joy than our children and the chaos might be a worthwhile tradeoff for a bigger family and more of what we love. I also come from a family of two myself and as an adult would love to have another sibling.

Most of the other parents I have talked to with 2 or three are at the same stage as us, with very young kids. I wish I could see into the future and what our family would look like either way. For those here who have 2 or 3 (or more, or less) - where are you in your family's life stage and how do you feel now? Any words of wisdom would be so appreciated!! Hoping to read some experiences and see what resonates.

We have 3, however the 3rd was not planned and I did seriously feel like I was just part of a circus when she was a baby lol. - Wouldn't trade her for the world though.

If I had to do it over again I do wish I had them closer together. - My DH is in the military and was deployed a lot in the beginning. They are now 23, 17, and 9. - In some ways that's great, but I don't feel like they've really grown up together which is a shame. Even though they all have the same parents, they've each had very different childhoods in some ways just because of where we've been in our lives.

 

[Dan Murphy]

Two here, Vince and Natalie. Now 46 and 43, both adopted as newborn infants. As said often above, would do it all over again. And now 5 grandkids.

 

[CAPSLOCK]

0 and would do it again in a heartbeat.

 

[DCLMP]

We have two kids, currently aged 3 and 6. We find ourselves going back and forth all the time as to whether to add a third.

It does feel like we are already in the thick of parenting young children and on days where we feel as though we are already at capacity, I can't imagine adding another human's needs into the mix. On the other hand, there has been nothing in life that has brought up greater joy than our children and the chaos might be a worthwhile tradeoff for a bigger family and more of what we love. I also come from a family of two myself and as an adult would love to have another sibling.

Most of the other parents I have talked to with 2 or three are at the same stage as us, with very young kids. I wish I could see into the future and what our family would look like either way. For those here who have 2 or 3 (or more, or less) - where are you in your family's life stage and how do you feel now? Any words of wisdom would be so appreciated!! Hoping to read some experiences and see what resonates.

I don’t think anyone at least from the responses I see regrets having kids. I’m sure if you have another you’ll be glad you did.

 

[mamamary]

2 kids. Boy and girl ages 27 and 25. Like others I wouldn’t change anything.

 

[Donalddidwhat…?!]

@olliesmom …
The very short version of us below…!
My wife and I are the parents of 3 grown children.
2 daughters, with a special needs son in between.
Without going into great detail, DS was born at 1lb. 4oz., and spent 4.5 months in the NICU.
They are ages 29, 31 and 33. We would definitely do it all over again, and can’t imagine our lives without any one of them. We have truly been blessed…!!!
Both my wife and I come from 4 sibling families.
We initially planned to have 4 children, but after our youngest DD was born, and with having a special needs DS, we decided it would be best to love the heck out of and care for the 3 we already had…!!!
We now have 2 young granddaughters, ages 2-and-a-half and 5-and-a-half , and also can’t imagine life without either of those precious young ladies…!!!
Oldest DD and SonIL are stopping at 2, as both pregnancies were pretty rough for DD. As DD put it “I don’t do pregnancy well…!!!”…!!!!!
And yes, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t sometimes wonder about that 4th child, and how things might have been…….

Anyway, whatever y’all decide, it’ll be for the best…!!!

 

[Nicnicnic.nic]

4yo (almost 5yo) and 2yo (recent 2yo). I'm definitely done just don't want to add more stress and a third would start to take financial and other resources away from my first two. But they are really good together and love to play together and have a strong bond so even though it's tiring at times I'm glad they are close enough in age but also my older one can help with the younger and understands why rules are different for him so I'm also glad they are not too close in age. When I first had my second child I thought about having more but now I very much know I don't want to.

 

[maxaroni]

I have one, 24 year old son. Would have loved more but had terrible fertility issues. I’m so fortunate to be a mother. I always envy people who are able to say, I think we want another child, and it just happens. Infertility is heartbreaking.

Same. My DS31 just had a baby boy 5/24, we are now grandparents!

 

[Boopuff]

We knew we only wanted a maximum of 2 children (no matter what sex) We have two daughters and never tried for the "boy'. We figured with two kids each parent gets one to watch. Dinner reservations are easy for a table of 4.

 

[Donalddidwhat…?!]

Same. My DS31 just had a baby boy 5/24, we are now grandparents!

Congrats, enjoy every moment, and don’t blink…!!!
Time to start planning a WDW trip with him…!
We’re goin’ on our second family trip to WDW with our 2 young granddaughters at the end of June/early July, and if it’s even half as good as the first trip with them, it’ll be awesome…!!!

 

[disneydreamer1980]

We have 5 kids, 4 girls and1 boy (the youngest). I love our big family, wouldn’t change it for the world. DH wanted more than 5 though and I had to cut him off after our youngest was born and I finally got my boy lol. Life’s never boring with all these kids (although it is loud, crazy and chaotic) and we always joke that having a bunch of kids increases our chance of having one that’ll take good care of us when we’re older lol.

 

[Dan Murphy]

Same. My DS31 just had a baby boy 5/24, we are now grandparents!

Congratulations on your new, 2 day old grandson! The best! Welcome to the club.

 

[disykat]

I have two boys and they are 2.5 years apart. It was a great time frame and a great family size. Ideally I had wanted to have had a third 2 years later, but it didn't happen.

My mom had 3 kids in 3 years and it was probably a bit much. though it was fun as a kid. My dream scenario was 3 kids in 5 years. I didn't start until my 30's and I wanted to be done by 36 or so.

 

[QueenIsabella]

We knew we only wanted a maximum of 2 children (no matter what sex) We have two daughters and never tried for the "boy'. We figured with two kids each parent gets one to watch. Dinner reservations are easy for a table of 4.

It's definitely true that the world is built for families of four! Once you add a third child, things get more complicated. You might need a bigger vehicle, hotel reservations are trickier, even restaurants are tougher to navigate. Not saying it's not worth it, but it's the reality of larger families.

Added bonus for us, DD28 is engaged, so we bring what's-his-name with us on vacation. Oh, and we're pitching in towards the wedding.

 

[bluezy]

We have five kids ranging in age from 19-38. I wouldn't change a thing...not the large age range, not the almost 10-year gap between #2 & #3....nothing. Yes, we needed to buy a larger car; we needed a bigger house; going out to eat at a restaurant often meant a long wait (we did a lot of take-out because it was easier. ); and trips to Disney World were not cheap. There were a lot of crazy times where I would drive over 75 miles a day to multiple practices, lessons, etc. and never get more than 5 miles away from home. My car knew how to get to the high school and back without me even touching the steering wheel. I did laundry almost every day for years on end. There were many years that my husband traveled on business and I'd be handling all of the "kid" duties by myself for 2-3 weeks straight every few months (along with some shorter trips in between those long trips). Even when he wasn't traveling, he worked long hours and often only got home in time to help with bedtime. Life has been crazy the last 35+ years but I wouldn't change it for the world. The biggest reward is seeing the kids have all grown into accomplished and successful human beings. And watching all 5 kids and their spouses/SO's sitting together at our house or at a restaurant and seeing how much they truly love being together just makes my heart happy.

(Side note: We are fortunate that I was able to quit my job 26 years ago and stay at home with the kids. That made our lives much easier, but I know not everyone is in that position. We might not have 5 kids if I had to work outside of the home.)