How long before introducing new partner to children?

[pixiefairy]

Back when I was dating my DH..my eldest son was nearly 2. I had dated since my break up with my ex, but I didn't really involve my son in those dates. I didn't want to confuse him, as he was already being shuttled back and forth between my house and his dad's.

When I met my future DH, there was a very quick connection, and he was aware I had a son. Still, didn't involve him at first. After a few months of serious dating, I introduced them. My son about a month from turning 2, and when I introduced them, he yanked DH down to his level to "talk" to him. They bonded pretty quickly, and my inlaws took him in like he'd been there all along. The rest is history.

OP..if you have been dating for a year, I'd definitely introduce them at this point. Ultimately, it's your life and your decision to make, but I wish you well.

 

[Robbi]

Once again, it's a personal decision. As I posted my first date was us taking my son to a parade with future DH fully understanding the situation. If he had not agreed, there would have been no date. His agreeing to my statements showed me he considered my feelings. A lot of men would have not agreed and I would not have dated them.

Another example was my niece has a daughter. Her mother and her grandmother did not feel she should include her daughter in any activities with the guy she was dating.
This went on for 2 years. After the couple decided to get married, my great niece was included. There was a lot of resentment from both the boyfriend and my niece. A whole relationship had been established without the 3 parties who would end up together working out relationship fundamentals. They were married 5 years ago and the relationship has begun to get better w/in the last year.

Those who choose to date are not wrong and neither are those who choose not to date. We are all taking our families into consideration and each of us knows the best route for our own particular set of circumstances.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

It depends on the age of the children, I suppose.

But, if you have gotten to a point in a relationship that you are calling someone your "partner", you should introduce them at that point. Heck, you should introduce him/her to your children as soon as things "get serious".

 

[aaarcher86]

You do realize there is a middle ground between the two situations? There shouldn't be a revolving door of girl/boyfriends, however, I don't see anything wrong with introducing kids to a stable, long-time partner.

Amen!

 

[mariolatry]

You do realize there is a middle ground between the two situations? There shouldn't be a revolving door of girl/boyfriends, however, I don't see anything wrong with introducing kids to a stable, long-time partner.

You didn't read the part where I said he had two 10+ year partners?

The woman whom we referred to as his 2nd (common-law) wife was almost 11 years. The woman whom we referred to as his 3rd (common-law) wife was was 16 years, until he died.