How involved were your parents in your education?

[DizBelle]

I have no recollection whatsoever of either of my parents every sitting down with me to do homework or ever asking about school. At some point (I think starting in junior high) they rewarded me with $10 for every A on my report card.

 

[disfan07]

They asked about things but that was about it. My brother and I would occassionally ask for help but our dad is an electrical engineer... and he thinks like an engineer.

We would try to get help from him but we could NEVER understand the weird ways he would explain things to us. We did not inherit his engineer mind!
It always ended up frustrating all of us more than it helped so we gave up.

hahah...omg, i could have written that. I am dealing with that right now with my dad. I'm in college and I signed up for calculus last semester but i was struggling after like the 3rd week so i asked my dad to help....yeah...well he knew HOW to do everything, he just didnt know how to EXPLAIN anything so i was more confused afte rtalking to him than before I asked for help....hence the reason i dropped calucus...lol

He has a BS in Electrical Engineering, an MS in Engineering and a PhD in Phsycis but he can't explain anythign to anyone who is not an engineer or a science geek....and i so did not inherit his science or math skills...which is why i'm majoring in psychology and not science or engineering

 

[golfgal]

hahah...omg, i could have written that. I am dealing with that right now with my dad. I'm in college and I signed up for calculus last semester but i was struggling after like the 3rd week so i asked my dad to help....yeah...well he knew HOW to do everything, he just didnt know how to EXPLAIN anything so i was more confused afte rtalking to him than before I asked for help....hence the reason i dropped calucus...lol

He has a BS in Electrical Engineering, an MS in Engineering and a PhD in Phsycis but he can't explain anythign to anyone who is not an engineer or a science geek....and i so did not inherit his science or math skills...which is why i'm majoring in psychology and not science or engineering

My Dad was the same way-I usually would start with the phrase "Dad, tell me what time it is NOT how the clock works" before I asked for help with homework. He was a chemist.

 

[castleview]

My parents had long time marital issues that effected me and made junior high and high school more of a survival routine than an educational experience. So I was definitely not a great student. However, my mom was a math teacher and my dad was a principal. They both knew the system, and made sure the school was not cutting any corners. For instance, my school heavily pushed pre-algebra on incoming freshman. My mom's comment "I don't think so - she'll take Algebra I".

They screamed for blood if bad grades came home, getting in trouble with a teacher was not even thought about, and if you were breathing you were going to school.

Overall, I'm thankful for their knowledge and emphasis on education. But I could have done without them being in a miserable situation. It really effected my social life and my choices.

 

[EllaM]

In gradeschool I once asked my PhD dad how to do a word problem that included a long division equation. 4 pages of notes and an hour later the one thing I learned was not to ask Dad for math help. He knew so much it was a natural language for him while it was all Greek to me. I wasn't a complete math idiot I just didn't intrinsically "get it". I had to work at it just to get a C. His smarts made me feel more stupid.

My parents did the usual stuff. I'm a natural reader so my mom was forever getting me books to read. I adored Golden books when I was small. She'd ask me to read aloud to her. And if I stumbled on a word, my parents would help me pronounce it. They'd even define it for me. They were forever correcting our English in idle conversation. It was quite a thing to be able to correct theirs.

They went to Parent-Teacher conferences, joined PTO. We'd do homework in front of them so they knew it was done. If we got stuck they'd offer help. My mom was forever helping us with building projects though she never thought she was very smart. (She was extremely smart but not degreed.)

They always went to our sports games and piano recitals. One thing that was different is that sports did not dominate our lives. It was something we'd sign up for during the Spring and do on Saturdays or a couple weeknights. We weren't running around all over the place. My siblings all played baseball so we'd go the event as a family. Same for piano. Mostly I remember spending a lot of time at home playing in the backyard with neighbor kids. My mom would be inside looking out the window now and then to see we were still there.

One time my mom became my favorite school hero. I was supposed to do an oral report and through forgetfullness and negligence hadn't done the required research. I was so afraid of being publicly embarrassed I tried to hide from school that day. Instead of making me face that humiliation she called in sick for me and took me to the library. I spent all day preparing myself and went in to give an A presentation the next day. I was so grateful she didn't punish me for that but instead helped me cover myself. It was like she was saying she knew we were all human and needed a chance to make up for our mistakes. Needless to say I got much better at remembering my assignments after that.

So I guess in all my parents just acted as tutors and advisors helping when we needed it and encouraging us to do stuff as a family. We never got grounded. We craved my parents' praise so just knowing we disappointed them or worried them was enough to get us to behave. Well maybe a few times we got sent to our rooms for the night when they'd had enough of our youthful wildness. 4 kids were hard to take after a while.

 

[joyjoy]

The schoool I went to was K-12 all on the same campus. My dad taught in the high school, then was asst. Principal, then Principal when I was a senior. My mom taught 1st or 2nd grade there the whole time I was in school. They knew every move we made, hand-picked our teachers, checked homework and took us to the public library every Saturday and several days a week during the summer. They could not have been more involved. Of course, we weren't crazy about it at the time, but realize now that we were actually very fortunate.

 

[gina2000]

I am not so shortsighted as to maintain that my parents left me on my own to cope and deal with life's everyday problems. My parents provided me with the confidence and knowledge that I could always go to them whenever I needed help. They guided me when I needed it and offered protection when I was out of my element. They discussed my options and opportunities with me. They left me to make my own decisions but never without the knowledge that I could come to them for help or guidance.

I think parents need to help and guide. I think that is part of a parent's job. That doesn't mean taking over; it means discussing options and opportunities with children, helping them make wise choices, giving them guidance when they are unsure of their choices. I just can't imagine doing it any other way.

 

[Disney Doll]

They didn't have a lot of involvement because they didn't need to...my brother & I were pretty self-directed when it came to schoolwork. There were a few times that I struggled in Math and my father would assist. Thn I got into calculus and my father couldn't assist so he got my brother the engineer to assist!

Science projects usually required some assistance from Dad...but it truly was assistance...he did not do the project for me. He'd show me how to drill or mix papier mache or whatever, and then I was on my own.

Neither of us had a lot of trouble with teachers, so they didn't need to get in to too much there, and they were pretty old school...the teacher was usually right and their response usually was "Behave yourself and it won't be a problem". FTR, though, I don't recall having what I would consider to be a TERRIBLE teacher...I had one lady who was tough and not the warmest fuzziest woman in the world but after our Christmas break she ::ahem:: went on sabbatical and never returned.

Sports...they went to our games. They did not second guess the coach, they did not scream instructions from the sidelines, they cheered us on in a positive fashion. They sold hot ogs at the football games, they drove us al over Hell and creation.

They were very much the World War II generation...basic values, solid behavior, not a lot of drama tolerated.

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

Not much... but there wasn't a need for it. From the first day I went to Sunday School (yes, before I was even in Kindy) I LOVED school and couldn't get enough of it.

I was the nerd who would rather stay inside helping the teacher grade papers than go outside and play. I would do extra homework because I thought it was fun.

My mom would help me with something if I needed her to, and I knew she did "educational" type things with me when I was younger. I remember doing flash cards for words I had trouble with in reading class. My dad was never home because the poor guy was always at work to make sure that my mom didn't have to work.

I don't have kids, but my friends do and when I hear how involved they are it blows my mind. One of my coworkers will make comments sometimes about "oh, it's 11:30 <<son's name>> is in English". I can safely say that my parents had no idea what time my classes were!

And I know they know when every single test is, because it's the first thing they ask when their son or daughter calls them after they get home from school. I know my parents never knew any of that stuff.

Not sure what to think about it all... but it obviously didn't hurt me any for them to not be so involved. And I think if they hovered over me while I was doing my homework it would have made me crazy.

 

[Disney Ella]

My mother read to us, quizzed us on spelling words and helped with basic math. Other than that, she just asked us if homework was done. I wanted to get good grades, so I was willing to do homework and study.

 

[SnowWhite607]

I honestly dont ever remeber mny mother sitting down with me to do homework. I wasnt rewarded for grades either. I just knew that she expected all As and Bs and that was what I did.

I was pretty self motivated and she didnt have to nag me to do my homework, etc.

 

[pirateofthecarolinas]

My parents had high expectations but never helped us. They always attended PTA meetings and conferences. My sister and I were expected to bring home A's, period, end of discussion.

 

[scottishduffy]

I am 28 yrs old. my parents were fairly involved in the elementary years then backed off later on.

I remember in 4th grade I was having lots of trouble with division. Instead of hiring a tutor, they hired my brother. He was great with computers (and 3 yrs older) and designed a simple computer game for me based on math. It would tell them how many times i tried a problem, how much time i spent on each one, how many problems i got wrong... I hated my brother for that!! They gave me the computer game (it was some circus theme) to help me with math. My motivation then became to never have my brother help me with math again!

By high school I was on my own for responsibilities regarding school. They kept general track of my grades but not close tabs.

 

[MushyMushy]

Same here - we sometimes get material to be covered as homework that was not covered in class. The teacher's instructions to my son - "Have your mother help". We have a pretty good school, too. But it is not unusual for my 4th grader to come home with 3 hours of homework...

I don't know about you, but I didn't have a whole lot of homework back when I was a kid! Not even when I got to high school. We had time in class to do work, plus we had study halls. My kids brought home hours of work from kindergarten right on through high school, and there's no such thing as study hall now.

 

[MM27]

My parents weren't overly involved in school, but they set standards for me at home that I knew I had to live up to. My parents read to me from as early as I remember and they spent quality time with me. That doesn't always happen today.

I have some students, even in 4th grade, that get so excited when I read aloud. They pull their chair right up to where I am sitting or they come right up to my chair if they are on the carpet. Nobody reads with them at home. They want that time where they can just sit and listen. Even in our technologically advanced society, most kids enjoy a good book.

 

[minkydog]

How involved were my parents in my education? Let's see. They drove me to school in the morning. The chaperoned our dances. The turned out for Homecoming. They lent me a lemon plant when I did a report on lemons. Otherwise, my parents pretty much left my education up to me. They were not college-educated and had no idea how to make college happen. They sat me and my sibs down when we were in HS and said we can get you through HS but if you want to go to college you're on your own. I figured it out, filled out the apps, took myself to a college go-see, and threw my hard earned money on the counter. I worked my butt off to get scholarships. I worked 2 jobs all through college. After 5 years I graduated with 2 degrees and $2000 in student loan debt.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

So, as little as most of our parents were involved in our education, why is the current expectation that the parents be more involved? We did better than fine without our parents helping us for hours every night. What has changed to force parents to become more involved for their children to succeed in school?

 

[MM27]

So, as little as most of our parents were involved in our education, why is the current expectation that the parents be more involved? We did better than fine without our parents helping us for hours every night. What has changed to force parents to become more involved for their children to succeed in school?

I think a huge difference is that many kids today are undisciplined or just plain spoiled. I would have never told a teacher that I didn't want to do something when I was in school. I've had kids before tell me that they didn't want to do a particular activity or assignment that we were doing. Um, don't remember asking if you wanted to do anything, but thanks for sharing.

Also, I know when I was in school, if the teacher had to call your parents, you knew you would be in trouble not only at school, but at home as well. With some kids now, if you tell them you are calling their parents, they say "SO" or "Do you want their cell phone number?" They know there will be no consequences for their behaviors and mommy will come defend anything they do. Because we're in the business of picking on children

I'm not asking for parents to do any more than raise their children to be respectful, to check their bookbags and to understand that while they might be the center of their parents universe, they are not the center of mine. I want parents to understand that I want their children to be successful, but if they don't believe what I am telling them about their child, it doesn't do any of us any good.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

I think a huge difference is that many kids today are undisciplined or just plain spoiled. I would have never told a teacher that I didn't want to do something when I was in school. I've had kids before tell me that they didn't want to do a particular activity or assignment that we were doing. Um, don't remember asking if you wanted to do anything, but thanks for sharing.

Also, I know when I was in school, if the teacher had to call your parents, you knew you would be in trouble not only at school, but at home as well. With some kids now, if you tell them you are calling their parents, they say "SO" or "Do you want their cell phone number?" They know there will be no consequences for their behaviors and mommy will come defend anything they do. Because we're in the business of picking on children

I'm not asking for parents to do any more than raise their children to be respectful, to check their bookbags and to understand that while they might be the center of their parents universe, they are not the center of mine. I want parents to understand that I want their children to be successful, but if they don't believe what I am telling them about their child, it doesn't do any of us any good.

Fair enough, as long as you are not one of those teachers sending home 3 hours worth of work for a 10 year old...

 

[LisaR]

So, as little as most of our parents were involved in our education, why is the current expectation that the parents be more involved? We did better than fine without our parents helping us for hours every night. What has changed to force parents to become more involved for their children to succeed in school?

Most people I know are overly involved in their kids education today yet most teachers complain that parents aren't involved enough. For many of us growing up, our parents were much less involved than parents today. I wonder what teachers thought of parents back then?