How important is your Wedding Anniversary?

[JESW]

Do you celebrate it at all - or is just another day? If you do celebrate it, what do you do?

My brother and his wife go away every year around their anniversary for a weekend and I think that is real nice. I know others who buy each other small gifts or go out to dinner. And then others who do nothing.

Our 19th just passed and dh didn't even remember. But that is very typical of him as he doesn't do anything for other days like valentine's day, mother's day, my birthday, etc. Over the years I have come to expect nothing, but I will admit that it does hurt and I just wish for the day to be over. I have told him my feelings on it but his reasoning (excuse) is that he is just not good at "those things". He is not good at making me feel "special" (yes, little pity party here). His birthday is monday and yes, I do have things for him as that is the way I am. I do have to wonder how I came to be with someone so different than me......but that is probably another topic!

Just wondering what others do for their Special Day, as I do believe it IS a special day!

Jill

 

[Conservative Hippie]

We went away for the weekend for our first, did nothing for the second, and went out to dinner for the third. My DH also is not the romantic type--our anniversary dinner consisted of me picking him up from work and taking him straight to his favorite restaurant so he couldn't object. Thus, I had to have special anniversary dinner w/ DH in a t-shirt and cargo shorts. But he did get me flowers. He always remembers the flowers!

One thing that we started though, is that I always take our anniversary off and take myself to the spa. I get a pedicure, sometimes a facial, and so it's a day for me to feel like a princess. I really enjoy it, and if you think about it, it is romantic for DH to encourage me to pamper myself a little. Every man has his own way.

 

[Snowysmom]

We usually go out to dinner and exchange cards. This year is our 30th anniversary and we are going to Niagara Falls and Toronto for a few days, kids included. I prefer to spend time together as opposed to getting more "stuff" that we don't need. The memories are better.

 

[crz4mm2]

Sometimes we go out to dinner. Sometimes I get flowers. I try and buy him a card, but I don't always remember to.....
It's really not that big a deal. BUt I have to admit I get a huge thrill if he remembers and does anything special!!!

 

[lowie]

we always have a nice dinner and exchange gifts.. but dh and I have this thing where we don't surprise each other with gifts, i tell him what i want and vice versa, or we shop together. i'm not a big fan of flowers so i ask him not to buy me any and neither or us are card exchangers..
i'd advise you to do something special for yourself on your anniversary, birthday, etc. and if he's a great guy in other ways to let it go!

 

[tmt martins]

We did Vegas for our 13th .

I bought DW a nice Coach bag she's been looking at ( got to love the Outlets) for about 2 years but just wouldn't get on her own.

Mines just a bit after my B-day so it's easy to remember.

We stopped Gift giving and even cards when DD was born if we want something we just go and get it.

 

[Aimeedyan]

We always make a point to go somewhere in celebration of our anniversary each year (even if it's just a hotel in town). We wanted to start it now so that when children are here, it'll be a tradition and we'll have the priority of one night away already set. We'll see if that actually happens

We have gone on a vacation a few times but one year we just did the hotel thing for 2 nights and saw a concert.

 

[sunlver]

Unfortunately our anniver is no big deal. At first its because my oldest child was born 2 days before our first anniver. So his birthday was ALWAYS the priority around here. Then as the yrs past, our marriage isnt really all that hot. Not a bad marriage, but not great... we are more like roommates really. All 3 of our kids have summer birthdays(one in July, 2 in Aug)and our anniver is Aug. So it really gets overlooked. Its not a big deal to me. We have NEVER done anything for our anniver. Meaning, we have never gone out alone on this day. We dont live in the same state with family, and I dont do babysitters. This yr we are going on a cruise with the kids, and the week we are on the cruise will be our 13th anniver and my birthday. That is not why we took the cruise that week, it just worked out that way.
Sometimes I get envious of others who make a special day of their anniversary, how they really go out of their way. But, then I think our marriage isn't all that great, so its hard to get excited about that day.

 

[lclark0621]

We went away every year for our anniversary until we had DS.

To us, our anniversary is very special. We usually do gifts now since we dont go away alone anymore. And we will make a very nice dinner at home. We will feed DS early & put him to bed, then we have our nice romantic dinner.

DH has screwed up a couple of the "special days" (Valentine's, etc) in the past, but was not for lack of trying...It was more for lack of thinking it all through. But hey, at least he was trying.

 

[jetsetter90]

Our 19th just passed and dh didn't even remember. But that is very typical of him as he doesn't do anything for other days like valentine's day, mother's day, my birthday, etc.

My DH has forgotten many times. One year a friend was having a BBQ at her house (family were visiting) so she invited us over knowing it was our anniversary. I said no problem as long as I don't have to cook Well dessert comes out and everyone starts singing Happy Anniversary...can you guess.....DH goes "who's anniversary is it?" Ours!!! Well since that year he has forgotten a few more and now it's a running joke...friends sometime call to remind him. He ends up realizing it when he comes home and dinner is not ready..I refuse to cook on that day.

We don't exchange gifts if we want/need anything we just get it. This year is our 20th and we will be in WDW and I have a surprise speciality cruise booked. It wouldn't even occur to him to do anything special but heck he is a great dad and wonderful hubby all things aside. BTW I went to the jewelers ordered something and told DH that he has to go pay for it, he's getting a bit nervous. Payback

TTFN
Jetsetter90

 

[Disneyrsh]

Do you celebrate it at all - or is just another day? If you do celebrate it, what do you do?

My brother and his wife go away every year around their anniversary for a weekend and I think that is real nice. I know others who buy each other small gifts or go out to dinner. And then others who do nothing.

Our 19th just passed and dh didn't even remember. But that is very typical of him as he doesn't do anything for other days like valentine's day, mother's day, my birthday, etc. Over the years I have come to expect nothing, but I will admit that it does hurt and I just wish for the day to be over. I have told him my feelings on it but his reasoning (excuse) is that he is just not good at "those things". He is not good at making me feel "special" (yes, little pity party here). His birthday is monday and yes, I do have things for him as that is the way I am. I do have to wonder how I came to be with someone so different than me......but that is probably another topic!

Just wondering what others do for their Special Day, as I do believe it IS a special day!


Jill

I'm sorry Jill, but that's not your real question.

Your real question was, "Should I feel this bad for being treated so poorly by my husband?"

And the answer is, Yes. You should expect more from him. And you won't get it unless you make it very clear to him what your expectations are.

"Honey, it's our anniversary. I'd like to go out for a nice dinner and maybe a movie afterwards. Can you call and make the reservations?"

If that doesn't work, kick him in the a** and call a marriage counselor.

You get one life; don't waste it pitying yourself.

FWIW, our 13th is coming up in August, and we've been together for 18 years. We don't always celebrate with stuff, but we always celebrate.

 

[annegal]

I usually get flowers. We always go to a really nice restaurant for our Anniversary, also. No cards, tho.

We do the same for each birthday-ours and our grown kids. We always do funny cards for birthdays, as I don't care for those sentimental cards.

 

[Kirby]

We go out to dinner, sometimes do a movie too. My husband was not raised making birthdays special so it just overflowed into our anniversary. After a couple of years, he caught on that it made me happy to at least do something. Now, after 25 years, he is the one that brings up what we are going to do.

For our 25th last month we spend the night at the Gaylord Texan and spent the day just bumming around together. It was very nice. In fact, it's the first time we have been alone in a hotel room together for 19 years.

 

[Am_I_There_Yet]

We celebrate every year, by going away for a long weekend. This year, we're going to Estes Park, Colorado. Thank you SW Airlines, DING!

This will only be our third anniversary (I was previously married for 18 years), but DH has never made it that far in a marriage. (I'm his third wife)

He always joked that if I could hold on for at least three years, he would be a happy man. This one means a lot to him, even though it's really not that big of a deal anniversary-wise.

 

[luv2nascar]

sometimes we go away but we always remember. Sometimes dinner out. Just depends. We celebrate anniversary of our first date also. I know we are dorky.
Married over 11 years and together 13 years in Oct.

 

[katerkat]

It's very important - it's also DH's promotion date in the Air Force.

But anyway - to us - no "date" is important as we get to spend very little of the actual ones together. We celebrate when we can and make other days special. DH won't be around for my birthday this year and I'm making plans to celebrate myself. He probably won't be around for Christmas, so for us, Christmas is Dec. 2-12 in WDW.

So far for anniversaries:
1st - halfway through pilot training, track select party all weekend
2nd - flying from another friend's wedding
3rd - he was deployed
4th - he got back from a TDY around 4 pm

 

[tiggersmom2]

We always go away to the mountains....the same place DH proposed and where we were married.

 

[Disneyaunt4]

DH and I will celebrate our 23rd a week from tomorrow. We will give each other cards and probably a small gift. Neither of us has ever forgotten it.

 

[skuttle]

We always go out to dinner, sometimes a movie. Since we had DS, we send him to my mom's for the weekend.

 

[WDWLVR]

Our anniversary is very important but that doesn't mean we always do something big to celebrate it. Sometimes we've gone away, but most often we have a quiet night at home. This year we'll be at WDW right after the DVC Member Cruise and will be on a Wishes cruise with fellow DISers.